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Lethbridge Herald Newspaper Archives

- Page 37

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Lethbridge Herald, The (Newspaper) - September 4, 1973, Lethbridge, Alberta Lynne VanLuven THE LETHBRIDGE HERALD 15 Hackneyed phrases gain new pitch Bloor Street, Madison Avenue here I come; ready or not. For the past several years, my consciousness has been bombarded, inun- dated with an endless stream of slogans and sales pitches. Therefore, by vir- tue of over-exposure alone, I have attained a PhD in crass commercialism. I and several of my viewers hit upon a number of innovative thoughts which, appended to the hackneyed phrases, will bring new dimension and meaning to audio-video commerce. Consider the following memorable gems' I. "If he kissed you once, will he kiss you Or, thwarted and rejected, will he turn to his teddy bear for the affection he so desparately craves? SUMMER CLEARANCE STACKING SIDE CHAIRS Vinyl back Fabric seats Assorted colors High gloss chrome frame Perfect for home or office Reg. Now Till Sept. 15 16 CHINOOK STATIONERS LTD. 319 7th St. S. Phone 327-4591 II. "Would you dare to skip a day with your anti- Yes, but then I was going to drop out of polite society anyway. HI. "He's still out of soap." Boy, will that lout Wally be surprised when he finds out his new 'soap' is really a chunk of IV. "Give your dog a new taste sensation." Feed him that nasty Mrs. Murphy's Siamese V. "Do you feel logy, sluggish and tired in the Of course you do, ytou nitwit. Your py- jama pockets are full of rocks. VI. "Want to take ten years off your Forget it; honey. You had a lousy shape when you were 35 too VII. "Daddy, Daddy, look! No Jeez kid, d'yuh want a split lip? How many times do I have to tell yuh? Don't interrupt me and blow my cover when I'm pullin' a heist VIII. "Can people follow a path to your Maybe they couldn't, slob- by. If you and the kids would stop throwing chicken bones and apple cores around IX. "Girls, do you want to have soft, silky, seduc- tive skin, For that sexy, slick look, just slather yourself from top to toe in Grandma Gerite's Goose Grease, morning and night. X. "C'mon fellas. Let us put you in the driver's seat." Kennies' Hot Car Service guarantees like our jalopies, or else. Which approach appeals to you7 Give me the gooese grease everytime. 606 608 3rd Ave. S. Phone 327-5767 ROTO TILLER CLEARANCE! 1 ONLY! 3 H.P. ROTO-TILLER With power reverse regular 189 95 Clearance 1 ONLY! 'TOR04H.P.HOTO-TILLER 69 .95 2 speed regular 224 95 Clearance forward power reverse 1 99.93 Convenient Terms Open Till 9 p.m. Thurs. and Fri. Nights! 1 ONLY! GARDEN MASTER DELUXE 4 H.P. HOTO-TILLER With reverse regular 299 95 Clearance 2 ONLY TORO 5 H.P. 25 Inch WHIRLWIND REAR ENGINE RIDING MOWERS Only 189 .93 499 .93 There's One Thing We All Agree On YOU CAN But you still can't beat the qual- ity and lifetime guarantees of Product and Workmanship we offer you. MINUTE MUFFLER INSTALLATIONS 308-4th St. S. Phone 327-8888 OIN Congratulations to The Lethbridge Herald on the introduction of their new offset printing system difu ;