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Lethbridge Herald Newspaper Archives

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Lethbridge Daily Herald (Newspaper) - September 2, 1913, Lethbridge, Alberta A Summer Page for Funny Folks, Big and Little CONSOLATION OFF TO THE COOL SHORE nswereJ Joan. Last and kuuvi' i oist :s 'ike, bul it u- the 1 U tUoy fcuv been to it fo-.jr tired oil u railway t-> the t- .-f tSieir XliLSir her family j-i xrj for so OFF SOUPS HOFTi "I say. wniirr. Isn'i there some roup on this till of "Not now, ;u-. There wai, but 1 wipe-] It S.MI71? was repeatedly ro- that thfi silver, that 5he. owned tlie lhat the p.ano was her own private property, and on until poor Pmith- to, wonder what she'd claim nest. The-of her ni-bt Sirs. S. woke tn alarm- sounds were heard In the lower parts of the house1, and HE AGHEED TOO SOOX. j'PHE colvbratod French poet, Saint- i who in of bis Tnrge in- jcome was always In debt, sat one I day in. a barber's shop waiting- to be Ife was-Jalbervd whtn tho jOoor opeced. and a trud'aajan cnttrcd who happened to be oao of the p No sooner did this i U5- .man sec Saint-Foil lhari he angrily! [demanded fiia money. The tpost'dSy -bC'Syed him not to make TI scene. j you wall for the money l until I am said the. other, pleast-d; at the prospect. Saint-Fois then the barter a witness .of wnd im- mediately look .-a towel, wiped ihfr lather from his face, and left tht sbup. Hs wore a beard to the end of his SO KSGKLESS. "ITS 'no use talking" reirarkcd dejectedly. "Ifa imposiblel tg maXe a woman understand even the j first principles of financa" the matter Inquired qn icily htr hU5tiand, skv take tht-srt th? end of their journef. "Weil, chicks1." said Sirs. when she sol close -to ilieni, "1 have tonnd a kind roller, -who has to put our ihiris? in the van for U5. SQ now u e need not Worry. We shall rot have Ions to-vrait." "Let ana Patty i-it :by indcw. Fiid Keith. "Tlien >vlll be able lo t'C.c (ht" sea swiftly .past, to wajch the children p.'ayiripr bj- yea. I When'Olasioh was? Miller put' them all: into a RtW, and were drlvtn rip-idly to their i Here 3. nicc'ieS awaited Iht-n. "lie down in e; sea and Ksttl Jamieii the door, as o'yer he was allowed lo leave thii table, "Me. too.'." -tiny Paity, no- not ones had coldp, she ivo'jld'hcl them to iiich up sht-llf. and their folds, were batter, .they, too might and wade. When _Jeati and Kt-ilh came out o the .water, they begun to make, snnd-hiil. and n little ijirl ftandin nraf was ?o interested, that td Jean loo, might join Sn Ci work. "ALL' THE WINNERS'" IN CASEY COURT. ejaonlate.1 the "John, Johr.T net up! Thfire arc JurgJars In the inquired Mr. Ktnfth. his eyes. downstairs" repeated Mrs.j Smith, as he turned orer. "Well. I should worry. I don't own anythinsr." THE- CKJCKEX'-TfAR THERE. QN'E Jenkins looted his srardcn wall ana satd to his neigh- bor: "Hey Kfcsi are yon In that he Eijd. "I'm Ju5t replanting tome of my sscds: that's alL" Fhonfcd Jenkins It looks more Jikf; of my all right. The seeds are iu- FJQC. when I was a way tcrday ihe baby -swaJtoTrcu a. u'iine. And what dot-is my. wife 'lo but can in a doctor and pay him 55 for setting coin back." TOO LA TH. A 11OV" .wrote home lor a supply of A cash.. Appended to the lelter.was the following "1 felt so "ashamed at having asked ymi to send me lhal I ran to the post-office to pet my back.. Vn- fo'ftunntely. it had gone. ,A GIRL CQXSOLLXG. are yon using bad language About." Inquired the farmer. ''Oh. growled the' motorist- "Ints machine's broken' down and I can't get It to "You're in said the farmer; man 1 svw round here all broke he couldn't gel his to slop." BBTWEEX TWO FIHEB. "T CAJf'T afford to marry her acd keep a cook-" "Toa can't afford to marry her and not.keep r RTRKXCQUX. "J WOULD be willing to Tyre 'If I ceyld sei ib sort of job I 'TA'bal that "Well. I rnlnd caJIIns ont tha on an Atiantit- liner." PGXISttKO. were yoii fond of flitlinK whtn yon "i am afraid I dear." were you ever punished for U, dear. I marrUd ALIKK Afnitt ALL. TJK fondly ho3ilin> thu hand of, the. pretty Eirl, and at last, he ap- the leacllrg subject biiEty. 'I carefully siudlcd the matter from ihe PC lent If faint of view, and am thoroughly convinced that we arr fiitcd one for Iho oihcr." IcoUlniJ up ai Iiini wilh Iicr bright eyep. "It U simply IIP continual. 'Wording 'o' srU-ru-p. which Is only way to niijiroacb the subject, you FLO, >ou lire-light ami -1 -'im dar.t. You are short and I am tall. You are small and 1 am itnil power- ful. You are sprightly, .vivacious; I am 'somewhat and In short, we are anJ sltcs should she there excc-pltbns lo nil such and I know of one in this, case lhat is suf- ficient. 1-cannot marry you." -Vln what reflect- reception made7" lie excitedly. lin. "you nre JJke me m this; coulrl never cam my owi flMIE physician was pivhig sno11 vice to Iht: l.tyman. "Don'l lei the Htlle tfilngs un- noticcrt." said dot-tor. "It's these ILiiIc often turn out TO be Eorinus, if allowed to run on vlthoul aticnlion. Kvon if'you have n. simple ailment, keep your eye on it." "BiH how can I, trltil the I "I nave ;i hotl on Ihc of my neck." B were won and lost In Casey Co'irt' ast wetfc, ivlien the grtal nnnual mto mDCtlnp place. Hilly trie guat. wllh Tommy Trolters up, slnrtcd n hoi favorlUv-but KreJdy t'erguson managed to pull off the win in a wilh the resuU lhat many of the Nibs who Billy fnuc'l themselves rulneil. One Nib, well 4.n local sporting circles, three farthings on the .race. whHeanother founfl himself no IMS than six cigarette piclores o ut the cvcrit. Billy" boolsmakcr, was the- ho to do well o-Jl of It Everyone on the c e him QS "Iht: old and we shall gounnear of Uilly starting a stable on his own. "To-J've loo mtich on for a milkmaid." Actress: I thought milt itl .very red chtoka" ilanarcr: ".On Iho contrary, they're alt pail THE Dick Forest was drawing his little ar; up'and down, the. sarden paths r.c day. When he bErard'oIs rnothvr alt to him from the ho-JEe. He ran In at once. 1 am going upstairs now. to change ty she. said. -'Baby aslepp n thf cradir. and I want-you to by s side, and rock him-if bo stirs. ..MOST ST. IjOUJS man went out He had a lunch flxtd up, but upon arriving the fishing ptact he tl hp lort iU sn he.rctrAcc-d his step until ho met a iarso. Fancied lookin man, vrhu was eosir_d by th limit r a Uec picking hi you up anylhlnj; In th 'n-tuircd tht "Xo. s-th, 'l Ol-Jn'l pick UP nuffln Couldn't a doe hab found it and t LADYLIKE. VERY HEARTY came ilovrnjiUtra like of bricks. "Now the liltlc mother, "you c; downstairs w noLMly that you cvtuldb titafd all ihe hr-jst. Now back anJ Tome down and aa A lady should do." Trances retired, nml in a few min tiles re-cnlored the parlor. "Did yrtu hrar mo (hi-s-drnc. mothcrr' 5hp afkfd- VXo dJnr.'jou cAme down like a lad that replied lier mother. "1 slid t the PleKPAKKO. "T KN'EW you were corning tr.-i on my "How did mquirtd M "Ktcanso Hi.i has heen aalccp all th afliTtroon." "Sc-c! Iherr Is a jam loft In this pot- You may (aha a spoonful, nr.fl Hertis can have.the test when he wakes up." As n-rOlhcr went out, Dick locked M the- two spoons lying table. I One was snuH. and Ihc other He tcc-k the i.irgo one, arid began to. iisc it. r Mrs.' Forest cacie downHtalra. a ol an hour.tatef.'-fihe Bertie M the- table, and .him could have aJl the jam lhat was left. ifaby peeped into the jam rot. sou t-.i. cried lonnly; "I'ot empty, mud- dcr. Ifcwl Dkk has had it all. Here's no more said Mrs. Forest, "did tskc Tnorft than I told you "N'o." onswertil the Httle boy. spooa was not quite full-" Mrs. Forest looked at the iim- '.'JJul. rny dwir. you choose v.T she said with a PLEASE RING OFF TOST arc bough i, j 'Vts, all.cxfc-pt coal; socj (o the PERFECTLY SAFE HE HAD ONE yOMK rirc more. than their mastc-rs." "Yes: I've got a dos Jike thatr DEACOX DIDS'T KXOW. eminent divine -TV.XS called mid- ilcnly .In In- tailallon of a new In anolhfi town, antl liein? to set a ply for liia pulpit on Kucli short no', lice was forced to "leave his morning servicri In Charge of a ycmn divinity student who wag a. nicmbc of hl.s "What kind of a'sermon did Stripling the divinn rutkc one .of (he dearona after, hto TCtura. "Well, lo be randhi." trie.dracdn rv piled, "it was the poorest 1 ever h'.-ad It .-howetl lark of preparation, "weak! ness of argument, and showed the InV maturity of the bra In that construct cd it- His delivery, wis. bii Hie sorrnon verj'. very 'The. .-cirno day the, divlnfr younu stuaent'And how ho ha. made cral. "alonff. KpJcndlJry. .was ih reply, hndn'L lime lo prepare i of my own, s6 I preached on of you re that I'd taken down in snort hand. A RIP V.A.V rUTKllPIl.TAU: "As Ions :is noborly Ms crcf. out; j "Hallo' Whnfa up? you mil tlic i IHB ALAKX CLOCK. MMIK following rlury i? told of young lawytr who K. not overwhelmed wilh olrents, friend