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Lethbridge Herald Newspaper Archives

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Lethbridge Herald, The (Newspaper) - October 30, 1912, Lethbridge, Alberta HER MODEST CONSTRUCT: Mlfitt Richly, I am the'kind of youm; hojn-5 for tho host." ifii "Indeed! Have yon spoken to ,napa. J-1 'THE MYSTERIOUS HASDFUL. THOl'PH of wandering musicians wore playing a Swiss hotel, UH- end ot' the performance one of the members left the tjroup, approached of tho bund and pulK-d out H. paper box, whk-h he emptied f, into hte left hand while the eyes oC the foi'loVe'j 'every move'irienr- He then tfjjik a plate in his right J passed if around, and u large sum meanwhile 'LTAVH "H- "Say, To Drive the Blues Away SIMPLIFIED RVKLLWQ. u dead hursu itiKUo announced ft Uruoklyn piitrolniiin, romlnK Into the station al'mr his day on duty. "W'tli, nmku out u ordered "Why, you make out tho report "1 Makn out your own re- ports. You've your civil Hen-le quipped hlnisi-lf with a pen :un KC-nitehlnK laboriously. iho scratching stopped. ho iifc-k'-d, "how tVyou spell An inlorvul of "You're writing that Then: "Ker- i-anl, how do you spell Kosuiuslio ".Stop bothering tho LEAltlXQ HIM OX. ttUUR PROOF. I AVON'MOIEB was vrry apt, AN Irishman was once serving In u' roirlinent in India. Not liking tho fruin a hiisiy disposition, to ant Ue the tandfiiuy or mi arguim-n A rclebrated lawyer. whoso client 1 suffered in cunsoquuiifti "f this hal touk Uie following method of Ing It; Ui-Jng engaged to dine In com pany with the nohlo lord, hn delay going so ion if that tho company wer :it dinner when he entered tho roon apologized for absence apjmr enlly with much agitation, statin thnt from a mellancholy event ha Just he found himself un able lo mastor his feeling: "I wa nfs through the said he "and a calf was hound to a post; th butcher had drawn his knife and wa Just advancing when a beautiful chili ran across him and. O-! my God I ti killed-----" "The exclaimed his Lordship "I'm no information bureau." "No, my tho calf; hut you; :-oon tho jmtrolinnn got up, Lordship jn at antlclpat ilnpped on his helmet, and started demanded the you sergeant. A TRICK Of TUB TRADK. day u naive SPORTS everyone meanwhile wondering he held in his left Land. i'Why. ij'rf very simple." said HiiOcr whoii (lucstioucd.. are. all subject to and to he sure of fidelity jif our collector he has lo live fllfa.ln hiK left hand, and we hi; returns, to make IE LEFT "Tho evening papers havp utualK been tnc time I yet to town, you knou' Tin i Hight Urcal Scfttt. yes. niul by th time I hon dear they're shoving the morning under th-jQhd6ri Opinion. "J JUST Hunter, int! ho loot pretty bad. What the matt r ith him: do yon kno "Compound fracture." sort of n fracture 1 want t" COM verse In- "ITc's broke, ami Hiss Richly, ill rovcrins the fuel, lirtike lier Pient to him." Kelly; biiV lo yen. 1 thought ye 3 heard Hiv'ral piiyple shpakin THE 110KS ALL I11GHT. the window of a downtown r tiiurnnt somebody hud plnood n whinh read: ShVO.VD COOK WANTED younK man "I'm the A store, ho waS lraB that .lead horse around Mied'by-a custo.lr for be Myrtle avenue." not have.: The clerk pollteU Informed the customer and -expressed sorrow nt not having- the article. When the customer was gone, the proprietor, who had been watching tin now clerk, demanded oC him, "Why did you not offer the customer some- thing else? "I did not think or that." replied the clerk. "You must'tilways do Insisted the boss. "If you have not what a cus- tomer wants, offer him something we as near like what he naked for as you can.' At this moment another customer entered, and the clerk stepped forward and greeted him with. can I do for "I want a said tho man. Tho clerk looked perplexed, and then his face brightened and he said, imve no cheese to-day, but we have some grindstones." "Let hie nee requested the customer, and, looking them over care, he added, "f am glad you called my attention to these atones. I will take that one, the .one over there. the largest one nf the FULFILLED III8 CONTRACT. the village that It could afford to have Its streets sprinkled, old Fritz Pl'anluiekeii was put In charge of the w-agrm. One day whlki on his rounds he stopped to gossip with :i crony. And suddenly he looked "P.-it the sky. '.Mcin was his.exclamation, as he smarted his horses, "it iss going to He turned in farewell and discovered nn amazed expression upon his friend's "I must hurry up." he. called back, :d vater dcse streets. Odervise it ho climate, I'm tried to evolve, a trick by: which ho could got home. ho to doctor and told him A DOUBTFUL CHARACTER his eycalKht was bad. The doctor looked at him a while, and then said: j "How can you prove to me that your i aypsfght IB I'at iookvd ahuut room and at' said: I do ye see that nail on tho I replied the doctor. I "Well, replied Pat, "I can't.' COULDN'T BE DOXE. PADDY DOLAN bought a watch from local Jeweler with a Rimr-j an tee to keep it In order fyr months. About six months after Paddy took ______ _____ it bach because It had stopped. jtACK TO KARTIt AOA1X. UXQ11A.TKFVI, URUTh "You .seem to have had an accident look his mighty sour, what's "IT was very hot day and