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Lethbridge Herald Newspaper Archives

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Lethbridge Herald, The (Newspaper) - October 29, 1971, Lethbridge, Alberta Friday, October 29, 1971 THE IE7HBRIDCE HERALD 21 Ann Landers DEAR ANN LANDERS: Right now I'm too filled with grief to trust my own judgment. Help me, please. My husband died a few weeks ago. Several relatives and friends have called on me. At least six people have asked me for a "remembrance." A niece said she would like to have Uncle Joe's gold cufflinks. A nephew said Uncle Joe had pro- mised him his pocket watch. My brother-in-law wants Joe's silver-handled cane. A man he played cards with said he had always admired Joe's initialed belt buckle and Joe said he could have it. I wouldn't dream of going into a house of mourning and asking for something. Am I wrong? I haven't given anything away yet. I said I would think about it. Please tell me what to do especially about the people who say they were prom- ised things. Thank you. Fresh Grave In Toledo DEAR T.: If any of the aforementioned articles have any significance to you, keep them. Don't give them away simply because someone asks or even says they were "promised." A person who wants to leave a memento to a friend or a relative arranges ahead to see that it is done. The arrange- ment is called a will. 4 DEAR ANN LANDERS: My father Is 63 years old. He married a very plain widow last year when Mama died. This woman came from nowhere and she had nothing when Dad married her. (Not even a decent fur coat.) Today she has more clothes than I have. She also has a big diamond ring, a luxury apartment, and they are going on a trip to the Orient in November. Mama worked with Dad in business. Everything he has he owes to her. (She was the brains of the family.) It kills me to see him spending all this money on his second wife. My brother and I feel that he is really spending our money because Mom worked harder for it than Dad did and we are sure she would have preferred that we have it. At the rate he is going he won't leave us five cents. Is tins fair? I'd lilce your opinion. Left Out DEAR LEFT: Apparently your mother left everything to your father. If so, you must assume that that's the way she wanted it. And since it's his money he can spend it any way he wants to. DEAR ANN LANDERS: I was intrigued by the letter from the woman begging for relief for at least a million Midwesterners who are hopelessly trapped by the larcenous gimmick called "bridal showers." Your Landers Law was wonderful one shower per bride, to be given by the brides- maids; limit of ?3 for a gift. I hope it catches on, but I am not very optimistic. A friend of mine told me just yesterday that she had been invited to the ninth shower for the same bride. Sickening. I have just received an invitation to my third lingerie shower. At the last one I attended, the bride received 15 half-slips. Isn't this ridiculous? Keep hammering away, Ann. Some days your column is the only thing in the paper that makes sense. Skewered on Showers DEAR SKEW: Hammering away won't do it. The only thing that will work is for women such as you to pass the word in your own communities. If enough level-headed dames band together and boycott these tea table robberies, people will stop giving them. Society advises prospective parents: Love should be criterion of inter-racial adoptions By LISA D1NSSE MONTREAL (CP) A home with love is more im- portant tlian no home at all. That is the basic thought guid- ing a growing parent organi- zation in Montreal which pro- motes the adoption of children of many races. For Montreal's Open Door Society, begun to 1957, this is the most important criterion IODE meeting stresses unity Citizenship and patriotism, basic beliefs of IODE, received strong emphasis recently at the group's semi-annual provincial meeting in Banff. Lethbridge representatives Mrs. E. Hopp, president of the regional committee, Mi's. E. Everson and Mrs. A. S. Fum- erton brought back an official statement stressing the advan- tages of the monarchy in the Canadian parliamentary sys- tem of government. The statement outlines the ad- vantages of protecting the peo- ple of Canada by placing two people in mon- arch as a non-political force, and the prune minister as tem- porary political representative. IODE claims the monarchial system is superior not because of the power vested in the mon- arch, but because of the power denied to others. It contends the present system is democra- tic and upholds the basic rights and freedoms of Canadians. The queen is considered a unifying force by the organiza- tion; a focus of loyalty provid- ing a centre of national identity. In conclusion, the statement asserts the monarchy is in no way prejudicial to national in- dependence, as Canada became an independent nation by the j Balfour Agreement in 1926 IODE urges members and other persons interested in re- taining the monarchy in Canada to write and express their opin- ions to both provincial and fed- eral levels of government. when finding homes for these Negro in the Montreal area. Due to a greater demand than supply for white children which, in the words of a soci- ety spokesman, "seems to be a phenomenon throughout North and soci- ety's acceptance of multi-ra- cial adoptions, demand for children of many races is in- creasing and "is beginning to catch up with supply." In Montreal, more than 500 Negro babies have been placed with white families during the last 10 years. "It's practical and feasi- said Robert Rosenzweig, adoptive father of a little three-year-old black girl and president of the society. Begun by three multi-racial families in Montreal who wanted to promote the idea of adopting children of many The Open Door Society was incorporated under a fed- eral charter in 1961. Today it has more than 100 member families. SELF-FINANCED Mr. Rosenzweig insists, however, that the society is not a placement centre. It is a parent organization, formed of adoptive parents, which works in conjunction with Montreal's Children Service Centre. It is self-financed through membership fees and fund-raising campaigns. CONSULTANT NAMED VANCOUVER (CP) Loma Whitley, 44, who holds a home economics degree and is a li- censed dietician, has been ap- pointed as a consumer consult- ant in Vancouver for the federal department of consumer and corporate affairs. makeup- not masks for Halloween Masks are fun but they can reduce the vision of 3 and cause accidents Makeup is more fun, and it assures maximum vision for children cross- Ing and re-crassing dark streets ALBERTA OPTOMETRIC ASSOCIATION THE BETTER HALF By Bob Barnes "Your new 'swinging secretary' will be lafe this morning has to put her visiting grandchildren on fhe train." or local kc Milk River square dance learners' group will dance Tuesday at 8 p.m. in the Erie River's school. Women are ask- ed to please bring a box lunch. Southminster square dance learners' group will dance Mon- day at 8 p.m. in Southminster hail. Women are asked to please bring a box lunch.. The Ladies' Harmony Auxil- iary No, 1 will meet Monday at 8 p.m. in the IOOF hall. Good attendance is requested. Southminster circle square dance club will hold its regular dance Saturday at p.m. in Southminster hall. Women are asked to please bring a pie. All square dancers welcome. The Anne Campbell Singer's regular practice at Southmin- ster Hall on Monday at p.m. is also parents' day, when the parents are invited to be present during any part of the practice. Members are asked not to forget the bake sale on Thursday from 4 to 7 p.m. The board of directors of the Lethbridge and District Oldtim- ers' Club will meet in the club rooms on 9th St. S. at 8 p.m. Monday. Plans for the annual ball will be on the agenda and a full attendance is requested. The Southminster Junior Girls Choir will sing on Sunday, at p.m. at the Green Acres Lodge and at 3 p.m. nt the Gold- en Acres Lodge. There will also lx! a practise for the Junior Choir on Monday, at 4 p.m. At Southminstcr hall. There are opponents of mixed adoptions, he said, especially among young mili- tant blacks. However, al- though the society would pre- fer seeing a black child placed with a black family, this is not always possible be- cause of a lack of available homes. Adopted between birth and a year old, these children are offspring either of unwed mothers or mothers who do not feel capable of keeping the child. "We feel it would be best if the child could be placed in a home of his he said, "but this is not always pos- sible. "Besides, being in a horae with love is far more impor- tant than no home at all." HELD SEMINAR To deal with problems faced by adoptive parents of Negro children, the society last year held a seminar on black- studies. Member families meet regularly to discuss mu- tual difficulties. Society families will see prospective parents, sent to them by the children service centre and other adoption agencies now promoting the idea. They give them advice on problems which may occur in such adoptions. Problems may occur in these ways: of the couples' own children to the adopted child. of the older gen- eration which often finds it hard to understand the rea- sons for such an adoption. by neigh- bors. school with classmates and teachers who do not know how to handle such children. the adopted child when he or she reaches ado- lescence and the question of identity arises. HAD NO PROBLEMS Mr. Rosenzweig, already father of two boys, said he has not run into any of these problems with his girl and does not think they will present themselves. In any case, couples should feel strong enough to cope with any or all of these possi- ble problems, first of all, be- fore even considering taking any steps towards such an adoption, he said. "My wife and 1 thought about the possibility for sev- eral years before making the final decision. "We wantec to be ready." What is most important is the motivation, the society spokesman said. "Parents inter ested In adopting a black child have to be far more motivated than when adopting a white she said. The motivation can be bro- ken down into four areas: fully prepared to provide a connote opportu- nity for the child to gain un- derstanding of his race and identity. c o n t acts with people of his race. to obtain infor- mation on the race, its cul- tures, traditions and history. the need to have contacts with other multi-ra- cial families. KNOW WHAT WANTED What kind of parents adopt black children in Montreal? The society spokesman said in most cases they are white middie class families, w h o know what they want as a family and are well estab- lished, though not necessarily financially, and who feel they have a home to offer. More than 60 per cent of the prospective couples already have children. Prospective, parents range in age from 20 to 40 "which is a fairly wide range." Adoption agencies promote the idea of these adoptions and often ask the society to and talk to interested cou- ples. The procedure for adopting a black child is the same as when adopting a white child. Interested couples must apply to an adoption agency of their faith. Three group sessions of four couples each take place with a social worker to study the parents and their backgrounds. The parents must undergo a medi- cal examination. A social worker also visits prospective parents in their homes. There is a six-month trial period with regular visils by a social worker, then the final application is made. PEACE IS POSSIBLE EVEN IN NORTHERN IRELAND fighting, explosions and killings keep on in Northern Ire- land. Catholic ogainst Protestant In on ugly re-play of hlslory. But not everyone is cought up in the religious hate. Sheena Paterson visils a small town in County Down people have learned to live together in peace. 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