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Lethbridge Herald Newspaper Archives

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Lethbridge Herald, The (Newspaper) - October 26, 1912, Lethbridge, Alberta A BAD SLIP fJ'JiJi heritor (uiiaw thfi I'.onor of alt" Van Hlinkhottlc. the all, J hrive .n little more you for one o' -The Sketch. ?UTTIXQ. am what tliey eJ.arod sententious! slit; replied qU "aro yiju so fond of ca In tt fossor Id i OUKlit tO or people i fiddlers. ho de- nnorenUy, rooA up IT jV J', Jin HesHlos biiiluh) hient frn proud ol' it. Tlmt very mornin, Mt i school proudl, u i mther culleti nft i h be wrv f ctuiik, detir, TUQM t -yes, mother sill 1 On coming out B rtarted In honoi hard; great, 1, cluttered on tl t. p ,j, oiling up he nice she thrust It under I, iiHi started for home "Why, deal I her mother In didn't you put on eyed lur nnTO lou-youtuld n, care of It! sh d HE diner thur t s Into the jellow fc aiter had brought i, H h w to the light and tMtow, he waiter stood In T, he diner resolutclj Jtho owdiscto hsplUi, of it upon his brc id take thee. he b worse. A many yeara nml d been kcu, o Icl tie, and each thought wns a-bertc-r-rJhfyer-than his friend. At last Brown challenged Bnggs to meet him In a .Ingle-nlckel match and the vsager vias accepted Brown. batted. and., toen runs. Then took t fl against Brown's .owlliis wus So erratic that It was Im 'osslblo for anyone to pig Half n hour passed, then an hour and 3amra had not- sco-oS At the batsman flung hi bat in disgust n, going home, to tea he When Baggs returned fiom tea ho found 'the stumps drawll' 1m friend they bad appointed a, umpire waiting patiently for him., "You've ho said. "What do you mean' i haxen WHAT HE WOULD SAY 'v OW" lhlrts ve won by- eleven runs! saltl a ereat 'f BE WORSE Patient, With my "JJON'T call me 'due "Why, "Because ducks alway ale. yira Bits. VERY SERIOUS. MEDICAL man is a keei if an unlucky one. Occaf turns out for the local club Sat- urday afternoon. Tie had long nursed the rx.irie day ho would score runs, but Fate seemed to I otherwise, and his ambition realized. The story of how ho just one occasion Is distinctly especially when told by the ge t.jr himself. His score 'had actually and. In his way preparing to "knock livery off the earth." terruplion occurred. Tho scorer's son scoring-box and ranted across If the lie gasp. nearly done it in wanted, and- yes. 1 return rather testily. "Ru V "Dut. doctor. It's very serious Listed Ihe youngster. "Only o wanted, and feyther'K got exclt tw.-.llowed liis In it to Ije wondered at that t tur failed afler that THE "HAPPY" can you cu.v "No, Lionel. Can tn I keep a motor "No, dear." So they did not marry, they happily ever afterward. RE LOOKED ILL. LITTLE JOHNNY was small of sta- ture, and looked rather pale and out of sorts, widen led his school- fellows to tease and cross-question him "Who's your family asked a big boy, with a bullying and swag- gering air. 'Haven't got any doctor at said lohnny. "I never see one." "How jolly replied the other "You don't have to take any medicine "Oh, don't replied Johnny. "That's all you know about It! My father's I a dentist, my mother's a homoeopathic I 'my eldest sister has Joined the ambu-' lance class, grandfather believes In re- suscltation from drowning, !Erandmoth- or tries every patent medicine adver- tised, my uncle is a veterinary surgeon he added, almost In tears' "they all practice on EXCOURAGTXG HER. T.a recent birthday party a young lady began a song: 'The autumn days have come; ten housand leaves are falling." She began too high. "Ten thou screamed and then topped. "Start her at five cried n auctioneer who was present THAT WAB ALL. KANSAS farmer, a Dane, applied for naturalization papers. The i asked him: "Are you satisfied the general conditions of the drawled the Dane. "Poes the Government suit queried the judge. "Voa. yas, only I would like to see more rain." replied the farmer. I SENT ,'fO 'THE MAT. GREAT lover.of animals, Profcs r Dryasdust was much meal times, and: his own little plate.. The other evening ho wa., at a dln- Party, and hi, panner was a very But lfeVo'fe7tt? -a -a.-.c some abstruse point and lost to the world over the prob- Jj_IS Hhorence-nn-u I, we you done with the pig you stole from Wid 01V IJyan? Jt (in' ate u. rlv. erence. His RIverence_Ah, Murphy. ever will you be ablo to say wnen brought face to face with Widow Ryan and the pit- on Judgment Day' Jnst 'Wh 'erta your TpIRST girl: 100 s "So you're not e in htm any Second Girl: "Oh, no; I n break it off." "Why, what was the matter "The simpleton got too scutli It: was beginning to talk "lase." eat It on the mat, like a good Y DBAS, would: you. havo time to a button on for me before to prospective whojjolieves In a ccld bath evci fee' each half sighs I To love Home other swain? of A GOOD I7.WE TO iT.'f 'JS your daughter on the piano this "Yes. I think so." -V "Well, then, I'd like In Kv your iwn mower. I've sot to ti ifnss >me time, anyway." ail TIPPED AGAIX. HE ''cry affable and free "Is opinions. was this ycun 'tat was abmit Prehistoric null training In tilt Prdiistorlo moiioy. That daughter of cau'l fry a dinosaur fit to eat; ns lias carved n n baby mammoth! TOO PLAIK AXD HOMELY. IS. BROWN had advertised for a general servant, and, amidst tho mge number of replies to her adver. tlsement, she made an appointment with Mary Smith. Accordingly, she Interviewed the ap- plicant In her drawing room "Of course." remarked Mary, shrill voice. "I shouldn't be expected to 'clean or wash up dishes, and 1 shant bo required to answer the door, or dust any of the rooms'" "Most certainly not." answered Mrs i.. In u pained voice. "I should never presume to ask my servant to do any I 'Mil -lllllBS. All I ,s o look at. and I'm afraid you're much too plain toMhat! Good OXE ST7KK WAY JJRS. XAGOS: "John, have you read tills magazine article entitle 'How to be Happy Marrie" Mrs. Naggs: Kaggs: "Get a divorce." "I shall never c OT SCOUT'S OPPOKTUXlTlf. I you "ttvc the Boy j LOVJl'S'..ANALYSIS. you love he asked. In reply the modern voung rirl looked at the modern young man eyes pcrfervld with emotion. "Do I love repeated. "I oo. I love you psychologically soelo logically, economically [i'ron, ti Psychologic .tann-po.nt. 1 feel that our different organisms are so nicely dlf- fcrentiated as to form a properly ar- Iculated area of combined consclous- Sociologically, cur Individual nvlronment has becn enough oon, rast to form a proper basis for a right nion. Economically. I feel sure that we come to combine we shall be We to Introduce into the management f our affairs the right financial bal- nce to produce the scientific results Men every well-ordered and con- ucted business produces. And now ow do you love Tho young man reached forward. Clasped her swiftly but surely 'n nrms. He hugged and kissed her ibuster cheeks and her ruby 'How do r love he replied y dear girl. I love you just_ns much if you really knew what you wbera king about." Jw IllLLjli, A -VAN who stuttered terribly an office m P The voice of the elderly gentle- man rose in accents or anger and wrath from hl.i table by tho window. "Yes, replied the waiter, busti- ng forward. T.ho customer swallowed several ine-a n.ulckly before ho coula commam "Here, this egg ho ruarcd with an effort. "Yos, said the waiter obligingly, as be approached tho offending article. what shall t do with It. The elderly gentleman rose menac- ingly In his chair. 'Do with ha bellowed. "Do with Wring its SHADE. "By I am glad to Soe rui, the, 01' KAOfy DATS. SUPPOSE you do n bigger trade when It rains than when It doesn't. 'Xo. I don't notice any difference" said the umbrella dealer. imnrely replied MM Rm Ret 'lottcr DHcra It ist taken i V owo' rillns' 'Ion'' a'fasi S'.'! "Why, umbrellas go up, don't HUMAN TAKDSTWS. trt-tlckett. Dy time a line was forming behind toilgued-tled Individual come, where do you want to to? asked the ticket agent A he, stutterer a final effort 1 w-w-wnnt l-l-to go t-l-t. Oh mind. I'll TOO MUCH JjfOKSN'T your ting nt Pl'lsun nny objocind but 1's exclaimed a tall and thin negro, meeting a j short and stout friend on Washington street. "What you been doln' to get demanded the other. "Well." explained tho thin one, (drawing a deep breath, "over to I Brother Smith's dey aro mwsurln1 do holme for some new carpats. Dey jhaveu-t got yowdstlclt, and I's Jua exactly six reel tall. So to onllg< i Urothcr Smith, I's bpun down (and a-gcllin' up all ovur dcir house." 'JIIIM older wo get And tin- 11' you tell un so. ;ii r- ho Ts- ui- "0lSO -or. on lady what's been taking our mill, ;