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Lethbridge Herald Newspaper Archives

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Lethbridge Herald, The (Newspaper) - October 24, 1912, Lethbridge, Alberta KEEPING THE SCOUT LAW AN IMPORTANT OMISSION BADLY NEEDED shall I have a little slater onci "Why? "Well, it gets rathvr a bore always teasing' tho dear! I've Uruppud r.iy penny, an' J s'poso it'll go ritfht Uiruuffli tho earth an' aomc- of those, horrid lit- tle hwilhchs '11 Koi It." WORE HIM HOME NOT SO COMMON T thy aiyrk loft a .new nL-' our house hist night. u WJI.UL In and 1'it rather see Dm stork." .RIMEL'E: ttiu you get nun, TQQRIS: "We'll "Hiiro you done your kind (a zealous Boy Scout: ".Rather: 'I fen Ferffuopn: .'I .wore him home from I A BOWLEGCED MAN IN TROUBLE COUNT THE APPLES B ru c i e and Q u e e n Vi c t o ri a TTELP! Help Look at these crazy sheep. Just because the leader went be yer "I ain't cancht but lldin' in. Come HAIR-RAISING RIDDLES AND ANSWERS What is that which divides Iiy unit- ing and unites, hy dividing'-' Scissors. How do you tell when your irons an; too hot. Man'? Mary: Oh, easy, ma'am. I "can smell the linen burnin'. HARD LUCK "VY'ltY, Uio mutter, little "Boo-boo-hoo! Jimmy Jones has had his tonsils and his adenoids out out and they never made any Im- provements on me." RIGHT SOMETIMES What is that -which works vrtien it plays and plays when it works? A fountain. When does a. man rflpen When growing a- corn. W'hy does our Christmas dinner re- presen-t Asia.? Because it gives us Turkey. Where can money always bo found? In the dictionary. When Is a tClock cm el? When it strHeos Its little one. If a bee could sliwni on Its hind legs what blessing- would It A bee-attitude. WhM do you. expect at a hotel Inn -attention. What burns to keep a secret? Sealing was, W-hy is there no such thins as a. whole day? Because every day bepwa .by break- Which is the oldest piece of furniture in tho world? Tho multiplication table. What instrument war does the' earth resemble? A revolver. Why is ail orange like a church steeple? Ttwause wu hsu-e a pee! from it. LOVE DOUBLED UP. JJOLIDAYS were over, and the pupils were back again at their classes some of them as thick-headed us ever. my said the school master, a trifle I've told you again and again to any 'double so-and-so, instead of repeating1 the same sound. Thus wo say for woolly. He careful next time, mind." But the very next day, when Tommy had to read in a jioeu the line, "Up, up, my love, the sun is shin'ns." he created a great sensation by exclaiming1: "Double-up, my love, the sun Is shin- ing." LOVER: Johnnie, I'll give you a nickel If you'll steal me n lock of your sister's hair. Johnnie: All right. Make it a dime and I'll fileal yon the whole of her iv BKL'CIE'S: pa'pa sat 'at the- desk In his the .telephone went "Dear he._c.rled impatiently, 'can't I have one. minute's he shouted. Is "U's me, papa." cried a small voice. 'It's Bnieie. home.; Somufm' awful'a happenihV' asked ___... "O, somefin' awf I'm an' J'm all filone. I'm terrible (fwight oncd. Como home, pupa, kick. It's In here ajruiii', '.Oh-h! Come (tick, Brucie's plea endod in' a shriek, then papa heard a crash, a wild howl, and Bmcic's scream. Something awful happening in the dining-room .'here the telephone hunjj. He dashed out of the otflce Somebody called 'Mr. as ho ran down tlie stairs; but T'mcie's papa did not answer. He opened the door uf tho wheel-room and lifted the first bicycle- he saw. then lie 'flew down the; crowded street just as fas: r.s the pedals would go round. Ho dodged in among wagons and In front of trolley-cara. Drivers stunned at bin1., and unce n policeman tried to catch him; hut ha did not even turn his head. At last ho caught sisht of the little house in the big yard where Brucic. lived. H looked very.quiet and peace- ful. Ho .h.if" expected lo find It on fire or tumbled down by an earth- quake, but he did not hear even a sound till hii opened the front door. His hand shook while ht; turned tlie latch with Ha key. "What if T am too late be thought. ITo was not, for it was Prnclc en me rushing through Hie hull to meet him. His faco and hands were covered wiih scmtchi'a. his pinnforr was tlained with blo-.nl, and his yel- low curls hung- like a mop over his tear-stained t-yes. "BrucU.1, Hruciu." c-rie-d his papa, "what. Is the matter" "It's Keen said the sob- binsf little boy- "Come and sue." He draffKed his papa Into the kit- chen. Homet'ilng was thumping and yowlinff. It was Queen Victnriu, the bljf srey cut. She had her hrad intc an empty salmon can. and she could not crct It. out ucrniii- She was rushlntr about and banging the can the floor the wall. Bi'iicie'B pupa fftlt so relieved lhat to laugh. Then he led Brucie to the sink to sponge the blood off bis face and hands. saiii papa, "we will see what we nan do, for Queen Victorla.'y- The friylitenyd old srey'cat tried to scratch pnpa, but she not s for -he wrapped a towel about .her. Then he put her .between, his knues and hold her head while away at the tin -'w-ith.- a ciin-'opener. Poor. Queen Victoria, screamed wildly, but Brucie's papa did not mind; and presently off ciiine the old salmon can. When Queen Victoria was set free, she uniwletl under the stove and began to niuoth her ruffled fill1; Brucie cried again with joy, aiul just then mamma came home. Papa and Unicle tried both at once to tell her the story, anil at last she understood. "Dear me." she'said, "how glad I am there was a telephone in the bouse, and how glad I am that Brucio knew how to use House- save who THROUGH TO CHINA Ing. What became o the calendar? NEWS FOR DOLLY. A PRETTY little giH, in common j many others, finds theologi- cal things bewildering- When any fresh difficulties present themselves in the courses of the Scripture lesson at school Fhe is accustomed to turn to a sympathetic for enlightenment. f tho :van who sto'.ej she observed one evening 'when God made everything, didn't Ho tioar. When I In created 'If a biscuit. Is sodn .-rackcr, what and oarlit in six tlnys, He is an pifk'.' rental on sovontb nay." what irf Why a hotel "Tfrt .snijv.-fl.hiuK yuii hunt lliol, lfi 1 UCcauftc iic runs 1'ut1 bill Aumlf. iihln't Me AI'ASTKR: "1 must clvc you iho at "m- fi'i-lnck on imt as It is your fh'Ht offencii.'l "Don't b.' silly. hit Act wasn't WKCWG REMEDY. day a gentleman weiH into a shop Cor somu hair restorer. Having got tho bottle- and read the directions, he commenced the opera- tions of rubbing .his head with it night and morning. All seemed right until" about six weeks after a. lump appeared on the sfde of the man's head. Thinking It was getting serious ho went back to the shop where he bought thn lotion. The proprietor looked at him, and tbon asked thu man to let him look at the bottle, whirl) he pulled from his pocket. Thereupon Ihc proprietor uf tho shop looked very much amazed, and said: "Why, yon bavii been using celebrated chest' I- a bibl et of tpplus r n you unt th ni Jf jou muRiplv the number oi' apples in the. basket ,'.U> two, add half as iimny as there the basket, add one-quarter us many us there are hi the baKkct, and- then !idd one have exact- ly one hundred apples.' Can you figure it Solution next week.' LAST WEEK'S PUZZLE 9 TTEIIB is the solution to last week's cut-up sfjimre puzzle. You will sett that, the ten pieces can be fitted together to form a perfect square.-- developer." REVEALED DY THE HAND. "JVTISS CUTE (an amateur This line in your hand, Mr. Dml, Indicates that you have a brilliant luturo beiore you. Dud: Is that so? Miss Cute: Yes; but this other line indicates that you are too slow ever tu overtake it. WHISKERS AND WASHING SMART SALESMAWSfflP. J AJJCASHIUE was his home, and he was visiting London for the first time in his sn-utwhat uneventful life... In due course he found himself gaz- iriff into a shop-window, in which was displayed a errttu array at hats, cups, all uf the lutes t Thinking ho would buy one these ank'len of personal adornment, lie went marching into what ho Uioiight'waK thii shop.; but somehow he took thu wrong ptiasaffU'-wdy, and in a short rime was very much surprised to find I'imaelf in a lawyer's office, what do you sell asked iliL- Lancashire man ,fn hla bewilder- ment at the unexpected sell fools replied thu lawyer, thinking: to take a rlac out ot the countryman. But the Lancashire lad rose to ihe occasion. "By guni-V. he -cried, "you've hart a gooil morning, then! I seo there's only ft couple lettl" THE PURSUIT OF "WLJtJ exclaimed the stranger as he stumbled into r.is twentieth. purl file. "I thought you said you knew ,wh--iG all the bad places were on. this roan1" replied boy who had volttiittftred to guide n'01 through the "we're find in' them, aio't Mi-rrir TOO 1'OLITK. 'YJ Urchin: "Uhl Jlrn. luok :it Vm. Ain't hi; hn-ky, only 'arf a f or pr.lf- mill Ournv it th'.'nl Ulv tl-oulili; of ;