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Lethbridge Herald Newspaper Archives

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Lethbridge Herald, The (Newspaper) - October 18, 1974, Lethbridge, Alberta Friday, THE LETHBRIDOE HIHALD it More men confused about roles seeking help from counsellors By ENID NEMY New York Times Service NEW YORK Men, many of them bewildered and con- fused about theiri role in socie- ty today; are seeking help from family and marriage counsellors in greater numbers than at any time in the past. The increase in men initiating and actively par- ticipating in counselling con- sultation is not yet of major proportions but, according to both private practitioners and associations, the trend is a noticeable one The development is part of the increasing acceptance of both marriage and family counselling as aids in solving problems Although family services are not getting the long waiting lists they had in the past, spokesmen point out that "resources have increas- ed tremendously in the last decade." "People today are looking at their problems in a different said Judith Lieb, executive director of the Nathan W. Ackerman Family Institute, which specializes in family psychotherapy. "They are more aware of the kind of help, and the level of help available, and that they don't have' 'to suffer with problems." Although marriage counselling usually deals with one or both marriage partners, family counselling and therapy encompasses not only the husband and wife but children and, very often, relatives and friends close to the family. It attempts to open communication, point out alternatives and options, and provide guidance. "Family therapists see the individual patient as an am- bassador of family Mrs. Lieb said. In the past, men frequently had to be cajoled into par- ticipating in counselling, but the situation has changed within the last decade. In a nationwide study on family agency service, Dr. Dorothy Fahs Beck and Mary Ann Jones, noted that family members are involved in treatment, especially more husbands "A lot of men are coming in completely, bewildered by all the new demands being made on said Dr. Salvatore Ambrosino, director of the family service association serving Nassau County, N.Y. "Women are getting a whole new picture of he said. "Through feminism, and maybe even consciousness raising sessions, they are getting the idea that they are allowing themselves to be willing victims, and they are protesting. "Women used to put up with a lot as long as the man was a good provider, but no more, and this applies to even work- ing class he added. "And we rarely used to hear complaints about women not being sexually satisfied. now we do." Robert Sunley, who is associate director of the Nonprofit, Nonsectarian Ser- vice, noted that "a lot of t women are not aiming for women's liberation but it's trickling down in a diluted way that they should have a life of their own and not be an appendage to a. man." Although confusion about role identity was rarely given as the "precipitating" problem when a couple or family sought help, many counsellors observed that, initial discussions, changing mores were clearly bothering a number of men and, in many cases, women as well. "The standby problems are still communication, relationships with children and relatives, money and Club corner Wives, of the Association of Professional Engineers, Geologists, Geophysicists and Associates will hold their first meeting Monday at the home of Ruth Nelson; 1318 13th St. S A potluck supper will be served'at p.m. r t The Lethbridge Baton Club will hold a bake sale and raffle from 9 30 a.m. to 5 p.m. Satur- day at Centre Village Mall. Southminster Circle Square Dance Club will hold the regular dance at p.m. Saturday in Southminster Hall. Women are asked to br- ing a box lunch. The Sir Alexander Gait Chapter, IODE will hold a rummage sale at 9 a.m. Oct. 26 in the All purpose Room of PUBLIC (Played Until Won) LETHBRIDGE ELKS LODGE ROOM (Upstairs) the civic centre. Some special articles will be on sale. The Lethbridge Old Time Dance Club will hold a dance at p.m. Saturday in Assumption School, 24th Street and 14th Avenue S. The Country Couples orchestra will be in attendance. Everyone welcome. All United Church women are encouraged to attend the Presbyterial meeting at 9.30 a.m. Tuesday in Bow Island. The program will include a speaker on the Spiritual Life of the Hutterites. The Navy League Cadet Corps, Lethbridge, will parade at the ship, at a.m. Saturday. Boys, aged 11 and 12 years, are welcome to attend. The ship is located at 17th Street and 10th Avenue S. For further information call 327-5547 from 9 a.m. to noon Saturday. The Lethbridge Medicine Hat Deanery of Anglican Church Women will hold a fall meeting at 11 a.m. Oct. 27 in ,the All Saints Church in 'Medicine Hat. CASH BINGO ST. BASIL'S HALL Cor. 13 St ft 6 North Friday, October 18th 8 o'clock 4lh and 8th hi 7 Numbers 12th Ganw 5 CARDS FOR OR EACH BLACKOUT JACKPOT IN 51 NUMBERS LUCKY NAME DRAW WORTH LUCKY NUMBER DRAW WORTH WEEKLY DRAW WORTH 3 FREE GAMES DOOR PRIZE BASIL'S MENt CLUB All the teenage Rage "STOMPERS One strap exactly as shown tn Red. Black or Brown Can. AA and B widths in sizes S to 10. See these plus otftof Stomper styles now at Camm's FIRST with the West "PLAYPENS' by Miss Susan T-Straps wedge. exactly as jfljown -x Navy, or Brown CaH prtoetfl ft Muster ONESTRAP patera wTO) leather comBtnaflon See loo tnafiy oflwr.cMMrwfs stylet tn CamrrTs. your farrfflr CHARCiKX OpBfl FfMflJfB Vn v said Dr. Ildaura Murillo Rohde. "The presenting' problem may be, 'Fwe are fighting' or, 'we can't get or 'we don't common- but the situation is that there is no question that women are demanding more." Dr. Murillo Rohde, the president of the New York Region of the American Association of Marriage and Family Counsellors, said that more women were refusing to accept a differentiation in men's and women's roles. "Men, are becoming more involved and implicated in the daily vicissitudes of family Sherman said. "They can no longer have the benefit of family-life and leave the banalities to mother." However, he added, although women were demanding that "husbands pull their oar more in the men were resisting "because they feel too much is being dumped on them." Another problem, he observed, was the increasing incidence of what some husbands perceive as "overaggressive" women. "The men feel he noted "Nothing they do is right and they are being cut down at every turn." Ann Landers Dear Ann Landers: I am a 17-year-old high school senior who needs an answer. I hope you will print the advige because there is no way I can risk getting a letter with such information in the mail. My mother would surely open it and all hell would break loose. My steady and I have been going together for 14 months. We started to have sex three months ago. Please don't tell me to stop because we tried to three times and it's im- possible. We even made promises to each other and took an oath on the Bible. It didn't help. What I need to know is this: When is the safest time for me to have intercourse because I sure don't want to get pregnant. I hope you won't suggest Planned parenthood or anything that has to do with birth control. It is against my religion! Also, my boy friend thinks (and I agree) that any artificial methods would cheapen the beautiful love we have for each other. Ann, try to understand and help us. Very Anonymous Dear. V.A.: What you are already doing is against your religion, Dummy. I wish you both lots of luck if you con- tinue to play Vatican Roulette because you're certainly go- ing to need it The rhythm system is the least safe way to prevent pregnancy. (In fact, at least 15 per cent of the time it doesn't work.) The system has to be work- ed out with a professional, ac- cording to each woman's cycle. The problem lies in toe fact that most women's cycles are somewhat irregular. If a woman miscalculates by even one day she has a new name. It is "Mother." My advice is to go to Planned Parenthood or your family doctor and not take any more foolish chances. Dear AM Landers: My mother had a beautiful gold bracelet Since I was the only daughter, it was natural for her to promise it to me. Whenever she wore that bracelet she mentioned that one day it would be mine. A few weeks ago Mother passed away. The gold bracelet was not with the rest of her things when the family gathered to divide her few meaningful possessions. No one seemed to know anything about it Last week I teamed my brother had given the bracelet to his 13-year-old daughter. That brat never gave two hoots for her grandmother. She was a rude and disrespect- ful child. Today when I saw her wearing the lovely bracelet, my blood began to boil. What should I do? Out Dear 0.: Tell your brother the bracelet was promised to you and you'd like to have it. Too bad your mother didn't put the promise in writing. She could have prevented what is sure to be a great deal of unpleasantness. Dear Ann: I knew you aren't a doctor but you have good connections. Here's the problem. When I get tense I perspire profusely, especially my hands. It's very em- barrassing when I'm in a group and have to shake hands, especially in a receiv- ing line. I wore cotton gloves once and felt very out-of-place because no other woman bad gloves on. Three doctors have given me medication but nothing works. I would bless you forever if you could suggest something. Wringing Wet Dear Wet: Your problem is not uncommon. It is called hyperhydrosis. Some drugs give relief but the side effects may cause problems. If you've seen three doctors I suggest you see one more, a dermatologist If be is persis- tent he may hit on the drug or combination of drugs that will solve your problem without creating new ones. Pot-pourri Dr. F. H. Mewburn Chapter of the Imperial Order of- the Daughters of the Empire members, Lila McKenzie, Catherine Cranstoun and Max- ine McNally, recently presented a mountie in petit point picture to Fort Macleod 'Fort Museum hostesses Ruth King. Nora Perrin and Pat Kellington. PLANT IN SEPTEMBER OTTAWA