Lethbridge Daily Herald (Newspaper) - October 18, 1913, Lethbridge, Alberta
BUMPER NEAR-LOGIC jHllLOSrili'Kll-A fountain ivn.iiuiy contain a aonnu, a pencil, n. bc-st it-lltr. you ever 'li'iuh'lil of Ihe hidden Hosieries ol a nl net' pie? POOR PROFESSOR Tfcfc mlld-mumitrct) ehl gentleman who was with SUir.klns u geologic i. and when one morn- lug nls lamlUdy's little ac-n Informed Ijlni ihat there was a old 3lune Li a he was'In tilgli and show It me." he t.iid, innkJiii- !iis wny.to ihu f pot.. J-I-1 tlbic.' Sir." b-iM flnd thtsi bigjui a. retrvi Therv were cattlo' Iti tV.e.field, but llii. professor look r.u notice of tl unil u tvrrlbie allmcted his tt-nllt'ii, he saw a fierce bull to jrreel him. It was a near ihiutf, but the pixfMaor won by tnmirvr button. Oh the other ihe hfilyo he to ihe hi'Jyliidy's son. "You little iho fc.'ssor. "I bc-lleyc. you.sent my Ind Lint purposely. I expect you wintti lo see me kllleJ." I It was ftiuinti did." "She 'card oulsldt" our 1 liiBl'night. ajf some'ijc a sobnV mother though.! It to trj of DIFFERENT PICTURE SHOWS an1 -We. it out BOOKS AND BACON A mlntr, who was proud of his boy's ai schcol, one evening I'U-keil up a homc-tcSEOti book and i ul frurn it a. quotation whli'h ran ilfce this: "Seme brtoks should bt- f-'oice swallmveJ, and lu-wtd" and- Turn- only. Ing (u his hoy, he said: "What's this, somite? Thou Joes n't rum." he the b.'irber; "bin I'vt- ;nt jilenty." sul-1 the other, pry- Juclny a pJiket- "Xo. i-ti-lk-d ihe Larb-.-r. "Face snid the caller. iiru- duriiig jiickc-t. "Mo; it's r.u tho L-.irlsvr. "I must act rlJ uf my i.i-K-1 llr.-t." [jjiaitntly the t-illL-rpro dt-ced vark-us ijiiifer f'-jltJo of hr.ir a of 1-cmade, a tube of cream, and so "Xo. no. naltl the- barber, t'cratify, "i tell you I duu'l want any "I know you was tho i-alm n-Mv. Then why you aik me to buy Ihe birbtr. 'I didn't ask you to buy them." de- flared tho other. "1 only En to hav ii in y t but 1 wan tid I o sf- UT.' VOL' before J started t hat I've all the tollut articles i want." COUNTRYMAN' (at the National "Why, them's llie very aarat pictures I saw here tho day before J Attendant "Quite likely." Countryman; "Then.that clerk at Iho hotel IB on awful liar. He told me that the pictures was changed daily to all Ihe leadtn1 picture HIS AMBITION J i'KKDDIK havint' ruchcd ihe maluro of three, and I it-ins about to discard petticoats for'manly In the form of kulcke.'UGclt- :I8, Ms mother determined upon rr.nk- the occasion u incmorable one, and ihe table was .with jood fare as the newly-breeched in rant was led Into the room. cried the proud mother, "now you are a lltlle The U-RB in ecstasies." Dis- playing his garments to their full ad- vantage, he edged c-loser to his mother, "and whlsiiered: "Muminie, can A SAFE BET The colonel remonstrated witii his aubaltsrn time, alter but all "In viln. The lp.tter.was a borrij incurable fatnbler. One day, however. Jus! About he time when-he w.as Ws old colonel met the new one and gave latter a word of warning. Only Jays after he had Joined his new reglmeni ilie yoynp. officer accused his new colonel of sulferlnff'from corns. ''Sly -ficar young- I've n'over had n corn in my" "I'll bet you five dollars BO- oue on each fuot now." said the colonel, and ho took olf his boolE. .Xo corns could.be found, nd the colonel got his Hence when the two colonels inct the young man's oM commander' waa'-tolo of all thit bad happened. "Good cried the old .war- rior. l'And_ he let me ten pounds" he'd your feet bare -before hs had been in your regiment a crltd a new porter. at an Irlpb .railway as a ti'aln carae in. lor I.imerJck- The.atationniaster.i who was. standing nc-ar.-.jeproved him. I -told ou he "to fing.qut AN IRISH BALLAD BAD FOR JAMES lames of.ths Blatttcis clearly and fiis..-. tlnctly? Bear. sing .thtm cut. hearJ" j.. "1 win, replied the porter, end the pasEengcrs in the next train that trrlved ware "cdnalfltrabli-" astoulehed U) hcnrl the no1 Change here for Limerick, soFttVi LEFT The other morning a train ran Into a junction rather. behind its tha !Tvnp had -to ,char.gt and catch the-- corresponding train tumbled cf inc and. j made a dash for the opposite side of I the An old gentk-nian in a seco'nd-dasa carriage, who had ruffled tho feelings of his fellow-travelers by insisting- on" his window shut, Jumptd.up ns the train entered the Biailori, push- ed by the others, and look hla stand at the door so sz to be out at the mo- ment the train sUcKened suffici- ently .lo .enable him to- alight with Gatety. He had sot three parts across ihe 'platform when one of the pa'fSfcn- gers cnlFed out loudly to him; "I say, mlsier! HereE You've left w.Ve1 didn't coming in Iiiat flight. I'll Set Some 1035 ruhbcr soles, A FEARFUL REVENGE something beblnd. The old fellow "came- rushing back a state of wild" anxiety. He .waa nxious not to leave anything in the ne'train and lie was afraid of losing ie other. la he gasped, eerliigr Into the carriage, A very bad said the c hii U her was beltiff continually ied of meat by a largo tomcil be; onglng to ti next door nelsbbor.'Flnal- y his temper got the better of him and he prviso.icd the animal. Next morning the owner of tha cat !ound It lying sltff ntid stnrk before bis taor. He knew nt onco who had com mitled the dark deed, but without ,1 word he look tho dead cat jndoori. That night the ,was thron ?ausago buyers. SiidJcnly, when tl.e crowd was thickest, the outraged through the plo tbre-w uiion tho. chopping Mock body of th'fj Tiugo bfnck "There you are, paid. inkcs thirty-five. I'll bring the fifteen others when you're not so busy." CUTE TOMMY AfRS. JOKDAN had "Ideas" on th way children .ahould be rearc patron, some t wen 1 y ypars alcr, had occasion to Lay another, maltresa, and again he wked: the best Wnd, ___'- "'t'oltont' the patron cried.- 'Why, .u tctd mo twenty years ago that air was the The old man gave a quaint sigh. "Talking has always been my raid." MAKING COMPARISONS CAHVKFl-1 see that a univcr-; fllty president la Authority for the alatitnent thai 'n war H costs to kill n man. V yet some doctors overcharge.