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Lethbridge Herald Newspaper Archives

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Lethbridge Herald, The (Newspaper) - October 16, 1973, Lethbridge, Alberta TuMdiy, October 16, 1973 THE LETHBRIDQE HERALD Lynne Van Luven Business contract replaces nuptial vows "Brides of the world, un- ite! You have nothing to lose but your powder blue garter which only con- stricts the circulation in your leg and increases your chances of varicose veins.'' That was the inscription traced on the banner adorning the church vestibule. Which ail goes to prove that weddings, like everything else, just aren't what they used to be. Thank heavens My suspicions (that the exchange of rites between Hiram Peabody and Cynthia Egglestone did not represent a traditional wedding) were confirmed when I was shown to my pew (bride's side) by an usherette wearing a puce CANADIAN FRONTIER MUSEUM BELMORE'S ALTAMONT COUTTS, ALBERTA Vintage Cars, Airplanes, Tractors, Machinery, Guns, Rocks, Pioneer and Collectors Items, Rare Antiques, Wildlife. Something of interest for everyone, quote "Everythmq from a post- age stamp to an oil 6 ACRES OF THE UNUSUAL Coffee Shop, Souvenirs, Camper Facilities Tourist Information Now Open to Serve You 7 Days A Week April 21 October 21 7 a.m. to 9 p.m. tuxedo and a lapel button emblazoned, 'Right On'. The processional march was as far from Mendelssohn as one could get a medley of strains from "I am "We Shall Overcome'1 and "Jailhouse per- formed by a jazz combo. The wedding party was a motley and disparate crew, the oddest member of which was a bulky in- dividual wearing a pin- striped suit, mismatched socks and champing ner- vously on a fat cigar. His reason for being jittery was understan- dable: he appeared to be serving in the capacity of flower girl er, boy and was jiggling a basket of plastic daisies from one hand to the other. But, the best part of the ceremony came with the vows. When the lay preacher asked Hiram if he respected Cynthia as an equal human, worthy of the same opportunities for ad- vancement within the firm of Egglestone-Peabody, as stockholder and full- partner, eligible for full company benefits, there was a gasp and rustle throughout the con- gregation. Later on at the recep- tion, held in a local pizza parlor, Cynthia introduced me to her flower person, a NATIONAL HOMES LIMITED NATIONAL... the pre-built home package That invites feature-by-feature comparison Make the comparison with any homes on the market. We did, and we suggest that you should before you make the important purchase of a new home. You'll see over fifty points of difference in the National product BIGGER, BETTER, HEALTHIER. THICKER in such features as roof sheathing, wall Sheathing, in basic designing, in cabinetry, windows and other important home features. Over fifty points of difference from others in our industry more than enough to convince you of National's VALUE. See the complete range of over 70 home designs National's catalogues plus custom-building too! MORTGAGE FUNDS AVAILABLE INCLUDING ACREAGE AND RURAL SITES National men all over the province to assist you to choose a home for your budget and building site. MAIL COUPON NOW NATIONAL HOMES LIMITED BOX 245 ABBOTSFORD, B.C. Please send me information about the many home packages in the National catalogues. No charge or' obligation, of course. NAME ADDRESS LH-C PHONE Mr. Horace Bungle of the legal firm, "Botchitt. Blewitt, Bungle and Mr. Bungle's attendance, Cynthia assured me, was only to safeguard her rights and guarantee her portion of the business con- tract. When I asked the bride if this measure indicated a lack of trust for Hiram, Mr. Bungle in good legal fashion replied for his client- "My dear said Mr. Bungle, sweeping the room with an eagle's gaze and rocking back and_ forth on his heels, "it is not a matter of trust. It is merely a matter of good business. "This young couple is embarking on a very risky enterprise, launching their ship on the sea of life, as it were. A sea fraught with dangers, strewn with sand- bars and rocky shoals, into which stormy nay, tempestuous weather may blow at any moment He paused to muffle a hiccough with his wrist Is it not proper then, that this couple takes out insurance, in the form of the water-tight, legally invincible contract which I have drawn up? A contract which guarantees the hus- band alimony, should cir- cumstances dictate, and which establishes the liaison of the couple as a business, in which each has equal claim to the fair divi- sion of the chattels, should a termination take place When I last saw Mr. Bungle, he was haranguing the jury er, the recep- tion line. Do we dare hope that Cynthia and Hiram will live happily and more equably ever after? STILL SELLING FOR LESS! STERN'S CUT-RATE FURNITURE 314 3rd Streets. Phone 327-3024 CONSTRUCTION HEATERS HOME HEAT COMFORT ON THE JOB SITE B.T.U. B.T.U. B.T.U. CALL JOE PARSONS AT 328-6667 2810 5th AVENUE NORTH, LETHBRIDGE ;