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Lethbridge Herald Newspaper Archives

- Page 18

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Lethbridge Herald, The (Newspaper) - November 7, 1972, Lethbridge, Alberta POT-LUCK By D'ARCY RICKARD Peeping at tlie paper t'other day we read Ottawa wants us to exercise. Exercising the vote isn't enough, we have to do deep knee bends and touch our toes. Prime Minister Trudeau wants the nation to shape up or ship out. By golly, this is going to be hard for me! I'm so skinny I can take shortcuts through snowfences. They used to use me to model for those 99-pouiid weakling ads for Charles Atlas. I have to stand twice in the same place to cast a shadow. Physical fitness is fine for horses, cows, pigs and goats but man, nature's finest and loftiest creation, would rather take the easy way out. When I get the urge to exercise, to bum like a hard, gem-like flame, I just lie down on the Winnipeg couch until the feeling goes away. The best exercise 1 know is standing on your tippy toes, opening the cupboard door, and stretching for the cookie jar. The only time I sit up is when the Conservatives win a majority. The Tories can touch their toes but I'd rather thumb my nose. If you want to reduce your plurality, put both hands on the table and push. A good eye exercise is watching the office girls walk by without moving your head. Be it ever so homely, there's no shape like your own. But let's not knock who believe in prepraedness always keep physically fit. It started with the cave men. The only way to get a wall-to- wall carpet was to wrestle a grizzly bear. The only way to get a wife was to swing a limb at her and now they're swinging limbs at us. MPs get lots of vocal exercise. The Liberals are going to have to speak softly and carry big sticks. The Tories will be cutting the wires to their hear- ing aids. Women MPs have always had the last word and now they add Lib. First it was lawyers and now its auctioneers. They speak 155 words a minute with gusts up to 180. I think I'll polish up the glass eye and try 40 winks. And a special goodnight to the PM. It's very easy to give up but it takes real Grit to keep up. Hey wait a minute! I'd like to make a motion! I move we all raise our salaries by AU in favor, raise your right hands! Come on, raise 'em! Come on, puff, pant and perspire! That's it! Hey, this physical fitness is great! Nice to be in shape! solds uctfry, Movomber 7, 1972 THE LETHBRIDGE HERA1D 98th anniversary dinner FOKT MACLEOD ISpedaD- Chrisl Church (Anglican) re- IK 1