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Lethbridge Herald Newspaper Archives

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Lethbridge Herald, The (Newspaper) - May 7, 1973, Lethbridge, Alberta -Monday, May 7, 1973 THE IETHBRIDCB HWAID 17 Al-Anon teaches serenity By MAUREEN JAMEISON Family Editor It is Friday night. Of the nine women gathered infor- mally around the Wg table in the municipal hospital board room, the youngest is prob- ably still in her twenties and the oldest perhaps fiftyish. It is a conservative gather- ing. Hie women are well- dressed and well-spoken, at- tractively groomed and not unduly quiet. No one looks or sounds up- tight. The atmosphere is friendly and relaxed sur- prisingly relaxed, really, con- sidering each of these women is married to an alcoholic. This is a regular Al-Anon meeting for the wives of al- coholics, who get together each week to learn how to live purposeful and satisfying lives. In Al-Anon, the association manual proclaims, "mem- bers are brought together in an endeavour to help them- sevles and others to over- come the frustration and helplessness caused by liv- ing with an alcoholic." Wives of practising alcoho- lics and "those who have found try to solve their common problems of fear, insecurity and warped family relationships. Strange as it may seem to those on the outside, life with a sober alcoholic also pres- ents a considerable amount of problems in adjustment. Following a fleeting moment of silence, the meeting gets underway with a short brief- ing session and a spirited discussion on "the disease of alcohol." The word is em- phasized and reiterated. Af- ter centuries of treating al- coholism as moral weakness, medical opinion along with this particular group now considers it a disease like diabetes, which can be ar- rested but not cured. The women are reminded that the alcoholic must make his own recovery and that they must learn to defend themselves and not become slaves to the alcoholic. The chairman for the evening uses a bad cheque as an ex- ample. When an alcoholic passes a bad cheque, she says, the family does him no favor by redeeming it. If the alcoholic cannot re- deem it himself, it increases his own sense of failure, guilt and resentment as well as the family's sense of injury, she claims. Family contributes to illness An alcoholic can never learn to solve his own prob- lems if the family does it for him and he can't suffer the consequences. The anger and anxiety of the family contributes to the alcoholic's illness, the chair- man explains, "and the ill- ness is so serious, it can shorten human life 10 to 20 years, if unchecked. "We must find our own ser- enity by meeting our own obligations to ourselves. "We study the same pro- gram as AA (Alcoholics only we inter- pret it for our own she says. "In the 12 steps to achieve sobriety and person- al growth, we change only a single word 'alcoholic' to 'others'." In line with the first step, the chairman points out, "we must admit we are helpless and stop struggling to over- come our mate's illness on our own." Linda, short and blond with lively blue eyes, says that on the first visit "most come heartsick, discouraged and confused. Here they get a glimpse of hope." The newcomer learns "no one has the right to manage another adult's she con- tinues. "The alcoholic has his own life to live and doesn't appreciate interference. "You did not cause it. You cannot control it. You cannot cure it. "The sooner wives of alco- holics learn this, the better and happier life will be for them and their family." Trudy considers Al-Anon "gives us a great sense of freedom, knowing that we're no longer tied to the prob- lems of our spouse. "We refuse to go down with him! "Most of says the chairman, "do learn how to cope one way or another. But we need help along the way. "It's a great relief just to know there are others with the same Vera says. The wife can stay or leave "We really do contribute to making it Linda as- serts. "They use it (alcohol) as a crutch to build them- selves up and feel great, not just for social reasons. They feel insecure. And all the time they're building them- selves up with it, we're tear- Ing them down. Of her own husband who has been a member of AA for BINGO Mon., April 30 JACKPOT NOS. "20 AlARM BINGO" Gold Card Pay Double Door Cards (Many other extras) Regular Cards 25e or 5 for 13th St. and 6th Ave. 'A' N. No children under 16 allowed nine years she says: "I still think everything I did to him, he deserved. But I should have known better. He had an excuse." Women married to alcoho- lics have two choices, she says. "We can live with it or live without it. If we decide to live with it, then we want to live as comfortably as we can." Grace, whose husband is a longtime alcoholic, finds her- self in a dilemma because her husband has recently joined AA. "I've enjoyed sobriety for one she explains, "and I don't know how to cope with it. I've got to do some- thing about my yapping, now." Attitudes built up over the years will not break down overnight, just because a man is sober, she is told. "He still treats her as the according to Linda. "Things are not going to change all of a sudden, just because they sober up." Grace grins irrepressibly. "I have to she points out, "that in this week he's been sober and going to these AA meetings, I can see a change in him already." He is away "almost as much, but at least he's sober when he comes home." "We're here for Linda reminds her, "not to rehash our husbands' prob- lems. "When I first said a quiet, gentle woman rather unexpectedly, "all I could do was sit here and blubber, but now I can sit here and laugh." And that is what Al-Anon is all about. Information on Al-Anon in Lethbridge is available at 327- 6292 or 327-6340. (All names used In thl: feature are UKRAINIAN GREEK ORTHODOX CHURCH BINGO, TUESDAY, MAY 8th, 8 p.m. JACKPOT IN 54 NOS. (INCREASES WEEKLY) JACKPOT 7 NUMBERS OR LESS 5 CARDS 25c PER CARD No One Under 16 yrt. Details Announced at Bingo Corner 13th St. and 7th Ave. N., Basement Doors Open at 7 Israeli cop stops traffic MONTREAL (CP) Mtza Levy, on her first trip outside her native Israel, stopped traffic in downtown Montreal Monday. The mini-skirted brunette said it was easier here than at home. A crush of curious onlook- ers and photographers caused unusual congestion as the 21- year-old Israeli police officer took over traffic direction at St. Catherine and Peel Streets. Wearing a navy blue blazer and a white sailor-type hat, she said "traffic is simple here" and seemed amazed at the attention she aroused. "My father and my uncle are policemen and I decided to follow them." Here for celebrations of the 25th anniversary of the state of Israel, she will visit police stations and training centres. WANTED! Used Refrigerators! TOP TRADE-IN ALLOWANCES I CONTACT APPLIANCES LTD. BILL BAKER 812 4th Ave. S. Across from Enerson's Downtown Showroom 328-1673 Phone 328.1332 WAYNE BAKER Ann Landers Spring in bloom For more than a month the days have been getting longer than the nights. These lovely Japanese cherry blossoms adorning the greenery of the Robert Leys residence, 923 9th Ave. S. offer proof of the warmer weather, the sap flowing and the budding of plants. For humans, spring is a time for impulsive behavior the psychiatrsts tell us and oh yes, spring cleaning. Gallic flair conquers U.S. NEW YORK (CP) Quebec men's wear manufac- turers are quietly moving into the United States market with a touch of Gallic flair, quality workmanship and a reputa- tion for reliability that is at- tracting the the cash American retailers and their customers. Nineteen of them displayed their waxes recently at t h e semi-annnal four-day Men's Sportswear Buyers Show and left with million worth of sales which, when repeat or- ders come in, are expected to amount to to million. The sales total was re- garded as no small achieve- ment, considering that the Quebecers were competing against 700 other manufactur- ers and that they pulled in only worth of busi- ness in their first appearance Morlsa Slivlraki receives tht original art tor her Wee Whimsy- Send yours to this paper. in the show two years ago. The Quebec manufacturers came to the New York show under the sponsorship of Quebec House, the Quebec government office here, which is seeking to promote Mont- real as one of the premiere fashion centres of North America. The office proclaims in pro- motional advertisements in the American trade press that three languages are spoken in Montreal: French, English and fashion. Edward J. Ives, Quebec House marketing consultant who handles the Quebec par- ticipation in the shows, con- fessed that he was pleasantly surprised by the million sales figure. "Frankly, I never expected that we would do more than million of he saM. "We first entered the show only in 1970 and we didn't dream then that we'd move ahead so rapidly." William Brayley, director of industry and ccmimsrce at Quebec House, said the mar- ket for Quebec manufacturers here was "unlimited." It was simply a matter of coming down and exploring the mar- ket, examining its possibilities and taking advantage of them. The air of easy elegance in- PUBLIC BINGO t 16 GAMES 2 JACKPOTS LETHBRIDGE ELKS LODGE ROOM (Upstairs) EVERY THURS-8 p.m. herent in the Quebec design and tailoring attracted Ameri- can buyers and leathers and suedes proved to be the most popular items. The Quebec sportswear, ranging from slacks and suits to parkas, lines included outerwear and sweaters and sports and dress knit shirts. DEAR ANN LANDERS: Please print this for all the sons and daughters who grew up without love and now want nothing to do with their par- ents. After seven years of psycho- therapy I came away with an enormous load of hostility to- ward both my parents lifted. Thank God I regained my senses before my father died. Ann, you are so right when you say we must realize that our parents were the victims of THEIR parents. When we understand this we can find it in our hearts to love them unconditionally. My mother is 87, senile and confused. I see her twice a week, buy her little nonsense gifts and pray for her daily. DEAR ANN LANDERS: We are a couple in our mid- twenties. Last Sunday we in- vited another couple (same age) to come to dinner. In all fairness I should tell you the plans were made in mid- afternoon that same day. I had a ham in the oven with sweet potatoes. The salad was tossed and the dessert was chilling. Then the phone rang, an hour and a half before they were sup- posed to come. "We can't make it. We have company." It seems her husband's folks who live 45 miles away drop in whenever they feel like it. They never bother to nhone first. DEAR ANN LANDERS: What do you think of parents who will not allow a boy who is nearly 14 to be alone in the house for an evening? I am his 18-year-old sister and I had to cancel a date be- cause the sitter didn't show I now feel a glow of Inner peace denied me when I was hating her. It took me so long to wake up to the fact that my parents were good people who didn't know how to children. They did not inten- tionally damage me. They simply made some terribla mistakes and I forgive them with a whole heart. So stop it, all you parent- haters, before it's too late. Love and forgiveness are the. true answers, no matter what the offense. Belive DEAR I.B.: I've said it many times but permit me to say it once again. Hate is like acid. It can damage the vessel in which it is stored as well as destroy the object on which it is poured. 'I've heard the girl com- plain often about how her in- laws do that to them all the time. I thought this might be the perfect opportunity to tell them it would be nice if they'd call next time, and leave. But no, they just couldn't. I'd like to tell her exactly how I feel but my husband says they might be offended. What is your Bay Gripe DEAR G.B. GRIPE: TeH them. You'd be doing them a favor. They need to know how their spinelessness looks to others. up. Thanks for your opinion. Disgusted DEAR T.G.: Unless the boy is ill or retarded he should not need a sitter at his age. If your parents don't treat him as an adult soon, they will have a serious problem on their hands. SEE THE AMAZING 4-WAY VORWERK The cleaner that will revolutionize house cleaning FAIRFIELD 1244 3rd AVE. S. APPLIANCE SERVICES LTD. PHONE 327-6070 BINGO RAINBOW HALL 1401 sth AV.. N. TUESDAY, MAY Sth at 8 p.m. First Jackpot in 56 Nos. 2nd Jackpot In 55 Free Cards-Cards and Oames, 25c per Card, 3 Cards 3 Free Games Door Prize No children Under 16 Yean Sponsored by A.U.U.C. Association _______ UNIT 34 A.N.A.F. EVERY TUESDAY-8 P.M. IN THE CLUBROOMS JACKPOT (GAME 14) In 49 Numbers (or less) EXTRA WITH GREEN CARD NO WINNER DOUBLED WITH GREEN CARD increases and 1 Number Weekly Until Won 12 GAMES IN 7 NUMBERS OR LESS THEN DROPS TO Till WON. Door Card (woodgrain) each Blue or Brown cardi 50c each. Green key card (this card may be pur- chased if a player has a door card and at least 4 other blue or brown ALL BINGOS CALLED ON A GREEN CARD -MONEY IS DOUBLED IN REGULAR OR 4 CORNERS MEMBERS AND INVITED GUESTS ONLY All it takes is a phone call TELEPHONE SHOPPING IS TODAY'S WAY TO SHOP AND IT'S SO EASY AND CONVENIENT TELESHOP 328-6611 DAILY TO P.M. SIMPSONS WHERE YOU CAN USE YOUR HANDY SIMPSONS-SEARS CHARGE ;