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Lethbridge Herald, The (Newspaper) - June 4, 1973, Lethbridge, Alberta 4 THI WTHBRIDOI HKAID Monday, 4, 1973 More nuclear madness If there ere lingering doubts about the incipient insanity of the species, they should be dissipated by recent reports from observers of the military scene in Europe. It seems the smallest nuclear war- heads being deployed at present are of the variety and size the military consider strategic, and they want something smaller. Accordingly, nu- clear scientists specializing hi weap- onary are now working to develop a miniature warhead that will yield the equivalent of 50 tons of TNT or there- abouts, which will place it in the tact- ical range. Behind this undertaking is the re- markable military theory that there must be some level of weapons capa- bility between conventional arma- ments i.e. those charged with non- atornic explosives and total nu- clear war. This intermediate capacity, as the military men see it, would further the cause of peace. In the event of an attack by the vastly superior conven- tional forces of the Warsaw Pact na- tions, the argument goes, western commanders would have available an effective but discemibly limited re- sponse, obviating an immediate resort to all-out nuclear retaliation. Such a response, they reason would give the Communists pause without neces- sarily evoking their nuclear worst, and during that pause the two sides might realize the awful consequence of taking the next fatal step, and thus move to avoid it. It is hard to conceive of a better ex- ample of the military mind at work. (Perhaps it would be better to say the high-level military mind; those at the lower echelons, one suspects, must know better.) It visualizes a contest between two powers who think along similar lines, on a clearly-defined battlefield, in which the proper moves and counter-moves are made, with thrust from one side and parry from the other, all as laid down in the approved textbook for strategy 1000 at military staff col- lege- Surely it cannot be seriously' thought that these mini-warheads could be deployed in any potential theatre of war without the other side knowing of them. And if knowing, it still attacked in force, it would be overwhelmingly certain that the at- tackers were relying on something more than a hope that the new wea- pons would not be used, or would not prove effective. Escalation, then, would be inevitable, and equally in- evitable would be the total nuclear destruction that has always been forecast for a third world war. Only a general or perhaps a poli- tician who spends too much of his time with generals could seriously believe that safety lies in moving ever closer to the brink of nuclear disaster. RUSSELL BAKER Poodlepower WASHINGTON Bunch of them oil slickers from down in Houston been by here. They had some sad news. Said, "Old Timer" that's their idea how you come on as real down-home folks, callin' a man "Old like they seen Gary Cooper do in the Paramount films 35, 40 years ago. They figger, "Hell, these people that never been to Houston don't know nothing about oil. They must be plumb ignorant about the way real people talk nowadays, so we'll just naturally have to talk to 'em real dumb, the way Gary Cooper used to do." "Old they says, "We got right sad news." they says, "The oil is running out, and the great days of the big steeds and the wild bosses is all over." Ran on like that for the longest while, and it made me so mad I wanted to shoot 'em right between the gas pumps, but I didn't. Ever since the schoolmarms started poisoning the children's minds against the American spirit you can't just up and shoot anybody any more, even if they is just oil slickers, without havin' to listen to a lot of pious whinin' and frettin' in the bunkhouse of an evening. So I just had my boys run 'em off and I come out here all by myself in the jimson weed. I didn't want to let on, you see, how close to cryin' I was. Some people'd have trouble understand- ing that, I reckon. Not people who growed up with this country, though. Take my Daddy, for instance. First man in the county to prowl these streets in a Model T. Moved up to a Chrysler Airflow back in the thirties. We'd sit up half the night, my Daddy and me, arguin' whether the Ford V-8 or the Plymouth was the best getaway car if you was sticking up a bank in Oklahoma, which a lot of people was in those days, and those that wasn't, like Daddy and me, was havin' a good time thinkin' about it. Guess I'm ramblin' on kinda loco, which reminds me of two pretty good old steeds called the Rambler and the Locomobile, which the neighbors used to own, and I'm sorry about that the ramblin', I mean. What them oil slickers said left me shook up pretty bad. It was that business about havin' to shoot old Leander. Leander well, he's almost like one of flie family, even if he is "just a as that psychiatrist fellow said to me the time Amanda persuaded me I needed atten- tion from the likes of the psychiatric herd. In the old days a man would have shot him for talkin' that way about Leander. "Leander ain't just a I said to him, leanin' hard on each syllable like Jimmy Stewart. "Leander, you hyperedi- dicated jungslinger, is a 1964 Buick Le Sabre two-tone, four door sedan with horses that can still tear up the New Jersey Turnpike, the Cimaroon Trail or the Har- bor Freeway." 'Scuse me, if there's any ma'am's hs- tenin' out there. I ain't usually a crude man when it comes to language, but truth is I love that big old, oil smokin', gas-guzzlin% air-polluun', rubber-burnin', four-wheeled cayuse. Big and ornery. That's the way we was all raised to like our cars. And mean. Three-hundred, four hundred horses under the hood. Garglin' a whole gallon of 43- cent gasoline just gettin' away from the traffic light. Six miles to the gallon in town. Fourteen on the turnpike. Two tons of metal and plastic bound for hell on rubber and steel, and anybody says that's over- statement never tried to eat a cheeseburg- er at a turnpike fast-food feedin' trough. "Them days is all over, Old oil slickers said. "Yeah. Oil's runnin' out. Nobody can't afford to let us keep these big old steeds anymore." So they say. "Days of the wild bosses is over, Old they say. "If we gonna make the oil last, everybody better get himself one of them little put-put kinda cars." No hosses at all in them things, don't bum no hay, don't drink no gas. Just little poodles is all they are, "You fellows is talkin' mighty danger- I told 'em. "You got a lot fool in you to be comin' round my place tellin' me there's a poodle in my future when all my life I been worMn' so's I could move up to Cadillac, Lincoln Continental or Chrysler Imperial and hear those stallions So I had my boys drive 'em off instead of shootin' 'em sensiblelike. "All these big old they said, "is gonna have to be destroyed, just like shootin' a diseased herd, or America ain't gonne be able to surive this here energy crisis. And you better believe it, they say gettin' real nasty now. "You'll never shoot Leander as long as I'm I told them. "We won't have to, they says. "When we get through raising the price of gasoline to 97 cents a gallon, you'll be glad to do the shooting." What I wanta know is, why did every- body let me spend a whole lifetime believin' pounds of metal hitched to 360 hosses was the top of the world? Pitted against prayer By Dong Walker Two of my golfing cronies, Jim and Fern Bouchard, have joined me in a de- termined bid to advance to the status of bogey players this year. When I make a poor shot I try to think what THE book said and then resolve to do better the next time. The other two fel- lows take a different approach. After Jim has dubbed a shot ha usually bows his head whereas Fern caste his eyes heavenwards. Since both those of prayer it is possible they are try- ing to take unfair advantage of me, relying as I am merely upon an instruction book. But if that's what they're doing ft must be something of a trial to their faith to have me so regularly nosing them out in foe final scores. "Stop least there was no attempt to cover up." Standards of public morality required By Dave Humphreys, Herald London commentator LONDON: Should the private life of a minister, even one as illustrious as Lord Jellicoe, be subject to public inquiry where it does not occasion any breach of national security? This was the supreme question at West- minster after Prime Minister Edward Heath gave bis ac- counting last Thursday of the whiff of scandal touching his government. Coming just three hours after his friend and confidant Lord Jellicoe, Lord Privy Seal and government leader in the Lords, resigned, Mr. Heath's statement was made before an expectant and sympathetic House of Commons. Unlike Lord Lambton, who resigned earlier and admitted seeing call girls, Lord Jellicoe was a senior cabinet minister whose betrayal of trust must have shaken the prime minister. Lord Jellicoe, too, confessed to "some casual affairs" which if publicized would not allow him to continue in high office. There was more than a hint in the Commons that the most un- fortunate thing about the af- fair was publicity. The key was Mr. Heath's disclosure that he was informed April 9 that the security service was investi- gating allegations linking a minister and a prostitute. He asked then whether there was any breach of security and was assured there had been none. When early in May the second minister was brought into question, Mr. Heath sought and received the same assur- ance. Why. then, asked Labor MP Reginald Paget, was the case allowed to continue? The prime minister seemed to be delving into the private lives of the ministers. Later, on the radio, another member sug- gested that Mr. Heath should have laid down the law then, telling ministers, "Look chaps, you can't sleep with prostitutes cr with or whatever language was most appropri- ate. Mr. Heath said the matter could not be dropped, because, rightly, police investigations were proceeding. With one ex- ception, Mr. Heath had the un- derstanding of both sides of the House. Members seemed to think the question highly distasteful, something which assaulted their collective dig- nity. Opposition Leader Harold Wilson, arch enemy, acknow- ledged that Mr. Heath's state- ment must have been painful for him. The ministers had re- signed with speed, dignity and a sense of responsibility. Lib- eral Leader Jeremy Thorpe of- fered sympathy and suggest- ed the two men be left alone with their ruined careers to salvage what they could. Only Welsh Laborite Leo Abse took the occasion to chal- lenge Mr. Heath's judgment in appointing such ministers. The life-styles of members should be well-known to prune minis- ters appointing cabinets. He, for one, would not acquit Mr. Heath, because his judgment to blame. It may be that a British prime minister Just a decade after the sensational Profumo scandal should be particularly sensitive about appointments. Perhaps he should look for character defects among the most unlikely persons more systematically than has been customary. After all, who was to question Lord Jellicoe's ref- Scandals viewed by Nicol and Buchwald VANCOUVER For today's seminar, class, let us make a comparative study of the con- temporary political scandal as manifest in Britain and the United States. The first difference that leaps to notice is that the British pol- itical scandal is sexier than the American political scandal. Nowhere in the Watergate in- vestigation has there been men- tion of a woman, except Mar- tha Mitchell, who does not really qualify as a woman as defined in this context. Mr. Nix- on's hot, potato is thus distinct from Mr. Heath's hot tomato. The current British political scandal has been precipitated by revelation that members of Mr. Heath's cabinet associated with call girls. In contrast, the members of Mr. Nixon's cabin- et are in trouble because they associated with lawyers. Lord Lambton, who resigned as air force minister, confess- ed that he had an affair with a stripper. Mr. Nixon's problem is quite different: his friends were covering for him. The Washington scandal re- sulted from excessive zeal in holding political power. The London scandal was caused by a desire to hold something more cuddly. The British love a sex scandal, especially when it involves a couple of peers. It gives them the chance to think the worst of their betters. This tradition goes back to Edward HI, who had an affair with a lady's garter that gave birth to the royal motto: Honi soit qui may y pense. Typically, the motto was written in French to make it sound dirty. Ever since that time the Brit- ish have been fascinated bydad- ies' garters and by the contin- uing efforts of the Crown's min- to keep them out of sight. The security aspect of their scandals is merely'an ex- cuse for the ministers to re- sign though the nation is con- vulsed with delight. Nobody really believes that Lord Lamb- ton would discuss national de- fence with a prostitute. Not when he has the whole House of Commons to speak to. Similarly the British Con- party would no more think of burgling and wiretap- ping another party's campaign headquarters than it would bug the Duke ci Edinburgh. It is hot cricket. Cheating on one's wife, on the other hand, is per- fectly acceptable to the umpire, provided that it doesn't dam- age the pitch. If titled hanky-panky is what turns on the Briton and why else was the Empire always mapped as shocking pink? quite a different tradition stamps the U.S. political scan- dal. The U.S. state motto E pluribus unum means "I'm Number One and to hell with the other guys." Only guys are eligible for the American political scandal, which models itself on American pro football: a game for men, with secret signals, and a quar- ter-back who pretends not to know who is carrying the ball. So far as is known, American cabinet officers have no sex life whatever. They have tacit approval of stealing, lying and cheating, for the good of the party, but when their buggy day is done, they are expected to go home to Momma. Question, class. To which of these grand old traditions of political scandal does Canada incline? Keeping in mind the Mun- singer Oktoberfest, we may fairly judge that the Mother of Parliament still sets the style for Canada's political moral turpitude. Thank heaven. Better a wench, sir, than a Watergate. WASHINGTON I don't wish to put down our own Wat- ergate affair, but when it comeB to a good government scan- dal the British have us beat by a mile. Their latest scandal has to do with Sex. It is the type of intrigue that even a charwoman can under- stand, having for its major characters cabinet ministers, lords, dukes and call girls. While our Watergate investi- gation has to do with who bug- ged whom, the British inquiry has zeroed in on who slept with wbom, and for bow mucb. And while the Senate drones on end- lessly about what one lawyer told another lawyer in the Wat- ergate break-in, the British scandal delves into the motives of why a man of title, wealth and position would pay for plea- sure 'in the arms of a fallen woman. What makes the British story different from Watergate is that all the major players are keeping a stiff upper lip. There is no begging for immunity, no taking the Fifth, no threats to implicate others. When Lord Lambton, Prime Minister Heath's defence under- secretary, was confronted with compromising photographs of himself and a call girl named Norma Levy, he did not say he was doing it on orders from higher authority. Nor did he ex- plain he took his action to pro- tect national security. He did not hide behind the Union Jack. He said simply on the BBC when asked by the commentat- or (and this is an exact quote, which shows you why British TV is so much better than "Why should a man of your so- cial position and charm and personality have to go to a Lord Lambton re- plied, "I think that people some- times like variety. I think it is as simple as that and I think this impulse is understood by everybody." The main fear in the so-call- ed Lambton affair was that state secrets had been divulged during the liaisons. But Lord Lambton squashed that on his BBC broadcast. "Businessmen do not go with call girls to talk of private matters. If a call girl suddenly said to me, 'Please, darling, tell me about the new laser or 'what do you think of the new Rolls Royce I would have known that something was up." What also makes ttie Lamb- ton scandal more interesting than the Watergate is that there was more than one lord involved. As a matter of fact, after Lambton, Lord Jellicoe, the lord privy seal in Heath's cabinet, admitted to having af- fairs with call girls as well and tmdend hta migwtioo. has also been a duke mentioned and nobody knows how many knights will eventually be in- volved. I must say, the British newspapers are taking it very well. They are keeping the pub- lic fully informed on every last detail of the sordid affair, in- terviewing the call girls in question, the friends of the lords, the wives and anyone else who can shed light on what has become the best story since the Profumo affair. As far as Brit- ish journalism is concerned there will be no coverup. Some Americans in London believe that the British broke the story at this time because they were jealous of Watergate. "It was pure an Am- erican State Department officer told me. "Britain knew it couldn't be a major power with- out a first-rate scandal and the only way it could top us was to find one with lots of sex in it. We consider the breaking of the Lambton affair at this time as a very unfriendly act." The only bright side of the story from the United States' point of view, is that although Lord Lambton has wiped Wat- ergate off the front pages of Europe's newspapers, it's bard to sustain a call girl scandal for very long. Watergate, on the other hand, will probably go on for years. Americans can take comfort that while Haldeman, Ehrlich- man and Mitchell will remain household words for a decade, Lord Lambton, Lord Jellicoe, Duke What's-his-name and Norma Levy will soon be noth- ing more than a footnote in Britain's long and Illustrious sexual scandal history. erences? He was godson of King George V and page at the coronation of George VI. He inherited the title from his fa- ther, famous admiral at the Battle of Jutland. He himself was a Second World War hero who took part in a sabotage attack on a German base in Crete. He was captured and escaped to win the DSO, MC, Legion d'honneur, Croix de Guerre and the Greek Military Cross. Then came 11 distin- guished years in the foreign service and 12 in government. What references, Mr. Heath may be forgiven for asking today, does a cabinet candi- date need? And since the lord did not attach any time fac- tor to his "casual affairs" they may well have occurred entire- ly since his appointment by Mr. Heath. Had Mr. Heath pried he might have discovered that his candidate's personal life wag not a record of marital bliss. But this raises the serious question of whether men and women can be expected to bare their personal records before accepting public office. Many who have served with great credit would be disqual- ified had they first been re- quired to measure up to a prime minister's examination of their personal lives. The cases of Lambton and Jellicoe surely prove that title an3 the money offer no certi- ficate of immunity against the recognized human frailties. Nor are they new or subject to easy solution. Disraeli is re- ported to have been told that the aging Whig statesman merston was involved in an incriminating situation. "Don't spread it around too Disraeli replied, "or Palmer- ston will sweep the country." It is open to serious doubt whether the public would ac- cept any such standard of pub- lic morality today. The French and the Italians who could not understand all the fuss in the Profumo case are again re- ported to be shaking their heads. The London Evening News reported a Mayfair cafi girl as saying: "Lord Lambton is very unlucky. Hundreds of men in public life come to us to get rid of their sexual ex- cesses and their kinks." The British and ably the Canadian way is simply not to tolerate some known human frailties in public life. It is not to pretend they do not exist. It is to say that the risk to national security makes certain behavior totally unacceptable. It is to say that even in this permissive age the state re- quires a standard of public morality. Knowing this, if public men deviate and get caught then their careers are in absolute jeopardy and their private livei subject to publicity. The Lethbridqe Herald Ttfa flL 8., LeUbfldge, Alberta inHNUDGB HERALD CO. LTD., Proprietors and Publistef UW-U54, by Ron. W. A. BUCHANAN HM Registration No. 0012 MMtarafThaCMMNm ma Canadian Dally Ntwspapw AMKMflon MM fha A Audit Burtau of CLEO W MOWERS, Editor and PublliMr THOMAS a ADAMS, Omtral DON PILLING MtMflhtt Ctltar ROY f. MILES Managtr WILLIAM HAT Associatt Editor DOUGLAS K WALKKR KdhW we scxmr ;