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Lethbridge Herald Newspaper Archives

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Lethbridge Herald (Newspaper) - February 19, 1913, Lethbridge, Alberta V IS YEAR 1913 UNUICKY? There Hdsh'tr Been a Yef�r With 13 in It for a Full Htindreiii Years. By JAM^ DOUGLAS IHAVB3 never niftt anyone who WM Mintig to idmlt that h� was superstitious, and I havB aaver na�t nnypnie who waa wllUng to alt flown thirteen at table. The origin of the thirteen sliper^Uion Is the Iroet Supper, a/na probab.ly. th&t explairia the dread'of ihlrtden that perslrts in the most thoroughly � femtooipated mlr)ds. Nobody Idkes to live in a bouse th&t Is No. 18. Ifoboay Hkea to el�ep In a hotel bedroom th&t Is numbered thirteen. I ontie ftjund ^nyseMln No. IS In an>''' jl in PAii*, and I refused to elieep \ ^It. I cannot defend my con-duot, .but: I' lelt that I ahould sleep more comfortably In another bedroom. It yo\i-feel Ilka tihat, there la no use in fighting agalivst your feeling. It is not halpfiil M pi'j .X--v r- - The latter 'remonstrated' with; the flhopkeepei, and eventually, much to th� satlsfaotlon of everybody, con-(iernea, perJsuaded' her to tefraln jfrom Sunday trading. A few days ago she met tho old woman, who looked happy and presjierous. "I'm glad," said the parish visitor, "to see that you are doing so well, You have not lost anything by following my advice," - '�Tl'iat'a so, mum," was the reply; "my customers come round the back way!" miavNtimsTooD. iQN a farm In South Africa there was ^ a Kaffir whom the men used to call "Coalscuttle." He mllltea the cows mwnlng and evening; but one day "the [jioas" eamc to his hut; bringing a three-legged stool. "Hcire, Coalsouttlft is a stool from home," said ho. "Tou can use it ,when you are milking." "Yes. boss." said tho nigger. That evening he went a-milklng aa usual, holding the stool at arm'S length, and looking a trifle bewildered. A full hour elapsed, and he did not como home. . At length he arrived, bruised and battered, the cans "Shape-Itss, and not a drop, of milk in them. "Why. Coalscuttle, what's wrongl" said the boss, appearing. "Ah!" said the. nlfeger, shaking' his head, "him berry good stool, massa; but do cows won't sit on.lt." day aft�sr day. The miint will Issue coins b�iarliig the unlucky number. The stalwart beJl^Urs In the thirteen superstition .will.reauire to look at every Coin befpro thAy aoom the start, and it will be a soap�gtXit year. It .'Will not. be safe to die in for every death will be attributed to the unlucky, number.^ II; �Wllil not safe to ba born lA idl3, for every child born this year will be bom under a cloud. It will not be safe t9 marry tii 1918, for how bn eitrth cah & niarWaS^a turn out happily that Is celebrated In a year wlbh a thirteen In It? It Is, dit-flcuk to think of anythinsf that one can,do safely this year. I doubt whe� ther it would be stife to ppend the whol'e year in bed, for one might gidt bedriddesi, 'For those who ^e supercrtitiotis the temptation :to dp' nothing wllj boAiSre*'', "BisUble; But.'.yjftire' Will ba'aotaftSoh^t*! safety, in oonsoietttwus idiehess, la>> dolenco this year will be as 'yisky at| Industry., I doubt whether If-wlH/bo' safe to Indulge' lii any fcjrm of iplsa--' sure pr� to pracUoe' kny kind � ot aport We may look; (Or. a large xirop of aoi-! ddiantS' In tho''hunting tIeW, oji,:the polo ground, in football, ,In motorlhg; and.in 'aerop,ls,nlngf. Large sumsi,of moq^y.will lost OR thA �took eacr, change,; at brl4ge^ SAd at'ooon-cant, A|i for r^i'oin?;, I thlnK'lt ought to be 4b4^r�*� In 1�18 will deBerv^ to lose W� J�wey.v,. , . Abov*�jl: t)ilng�(.le(t Hfje; WAtn yomg men"Sjld,ypuns yea,T. .ptherS wise yoUri�Whole ilife or her:whole Mf6plafls. , . r"Woll, Tommy," She said, "wAat person Is likd the Evil One?" "Please ma'anj," replied Tommy, "my mother." "Why?" asked the teacher.- In as-tonlshmenl., "B8CSUB6," answered the boy, eyeing his patched tl-ousers, "she sews tears." JUST for fvn. jy^RS. BROWN, telophonlng to a friend one morning, happened to sayr "i havfl such a bad sore throat. I'm afraid I carnot go to that dinner-party to-morrow night." Just then .something Vent -WTong with thd connection, and she heard a strange voice break in: � "Gargle your throat with baking soda, and I think you will'be able'to go to your dinijer." "Who is this speaking?" askedJWrs. Brown, startled. -� "Oil, that you will never know," answered the voice. Mrs. Brown was greatly amused, and decided to try the remedy. Her throat improved and she went to the party. During dini.er she chanced to overhear the gentleman opposite say to his lieighhor; "I had an amusing experience the other morning, I was telephoning and the wires became crossed. I suddenly heard a lady's voice say: 'I have such a bad throat I sha'n't bo able to go to tUiart dlnner-paa-ty." Just for fun, 1 broke In and said, 'Gargle your throat M'ith baiting s-ida and you'll be all right.' Tho lady's voice In reply sounded rather surprised. I wonder it she took my advice." Mrs. Brown was greatly tempted to reveal her Id'cntlty as the heroine of tlie episode, but she decided that she could get more fun another way. She made careful lna.\iiry of her hosteas as to. the gentleman's full name and address, and' next morning called him up. When he answered she said>: "I jijst wanted you to know that I took your advice, gargled my throat with baking soda, and was able to go to the dinner." �  "Who-who Is this speaking?" came an astonished voice fmm the other'end of the wire. 'Oh, that you will never know," answered Mrs. Brown, laughing, and rang off. PAFA'H BTRINO IB PVLhlSD. "You know, dear," said tho young man nervously to tho pretty girl, "I'm really frightened about speaking to your father; he's so awfully sura of himsoir, you know." "Is that all that's cavielng tho delay?'''inquired the modorn mlns drily, "if that's so. Just leave It to mo. I'll manage father." � Accordingly next morning she approached pater-famllias as he potted plantp to the accompaniment of a choice Havanah and carpet slippers. "Papa," she gurgled, with feigned mirth, as she took his arm, "what do you think? That young fool Perkins has proposed to me! Just fancy!" And the lady doubled up in incoherent Joy. But papa shook himself free, and turned with the fury ot a baited bull as he stormed: "What! Refused young Perkins- that estimable young man? Why I'm ashamed of you ! Tou modern girls never know when you're lucky! You'll make it up with him at once- at once, I say-and don't let me have any nonsense!" And papa never knew tho reason for the peals of laughter which issued from the drawing-room that same evening, when Mr. Edwin Perkins ecstatically greeted the dainty Clara. QUITE A BARGAIN. A MAN who �was very miserly hoarded up his stacks of hay year after year In the hops of making double the price he was offered for them. A well-known hay and straw buyer In the district one day asked the price of A stack. An enormous sum was asked, which the buyer accepted. "How about the terms ot settlement?" asked the old miser. "Weil, you see," Jsaid the buyer, "ray terms are to settle when I fetch the last:lop..l away." "That's a bargain," 'said the miser, slapping the other's hand. The old-chap watched every load go 'away except the last, and that the buyer hn-s never fetched yet. A TRIFLINO CASE. Irishman was ohnrged with stealing a chicken. Ho pleaded "Not guilty," and then went on to explain. "It wna like this, ycr honour. 1 wont to his garden to buy a cabbage; ho told mo to select one. 1 did so, pulled it, and paid him tvvoponce, and camo away. When I got home I put it on vj boil, and When finished and on the table, what was my surprise to find a chicken, which I suppose liad got into the cabbage to roost. I thought I was Justified in eating the two, which I did, and that is all, yer honour." "But there is scarcely any room in a cabbage, and it would soon be seen if there," said the magistrate. Without the slightest hesitation came the reply: "Well, I reckon he had crept in and arranged the leaves and covered himself up, same as yer honour would the bedclothes on going to bed." "But how about the feathers?" The prisoner was desperate by this time, and said: "Well, yer honour jvouldn't be afther going to bed wld yer clothes on, so I suppose no more did the chicken." The magistrate was then heard to remark that the case was a very trifling one, and ought not to have been brought into court. DOWNFALL OF ART. iB^ was an artist, and the humdrum life in th-? butcher's shop vexed his noble spirit. Somehow, selling scrag of mutton and the best end of the neck Was not appreciated by his artistic tempcra.ment, and so he went to London, where talent is recognized and paid for-sometimes. por a time he wrote glowing letters home, describing his progress and success. Then there came silence, ".Success," reflected ills sorrowing parents, "has been too much for him. He has forgoitten us, Alas, aloa!" �Rut ho hadn't, for one evening, Just as his father was sitting down to supper, and preparing to enjoy his humble chop, a small boy brought a note. "Dear Dad," it read, "Please meet me by the old bridge at midnight, and bring with you a shirt, a waistcoat, and a jacket. I have a hat.-John." THE POWER OF FAITH The Victim (^,Qhristian Scientist)-Ha! Ha! Never touched me. TAKING NO CHANCES '"PINERY; "Will-yer-marry m'',' Hm-, mer?" . Emmer: "No, 'Knery. No, much as ,ij \sm yjgE "Didn't - I tell you before 'IgSjM^if VSm hgadir't^ about TIT FOR TAT. fJIHB' club was as well lighted, well ventilated, and wall warmed as ever it was. The lounge-chalra were as comfortable, the papers as up to date. And yet, in spite of all, Qooditt, the golfing enthusiast, sulked in gloomy silence behind the evening paper. 1 "'Alio, old chap!" cried his old friend Joyas, as the waiter assiduously assisted him off with his overcoat "What's tho matter with you?" "aMtterl" echoed the grumpy one, moved to speech at last. "The matter is that that ass Fitzfoozle wants a keeper! He's been flying about the links all day, and he actually-actually crossed my tee Just as I was about to drive!" Gooditt groaned al9ud, as he remembered the enormity of Fits-' foozle's crime.  "Good,heavens man! is that all?" cried Joyas, as he stroked his gloomy friend on the shoulder.and ordered a plok-me-up for two, "I'll tell you how to settle with Fitzfoozle." "You wlll!";crigd the other. . , "Man, I'm your debtor .fcftr life is you :wllll" '"Well," answered Joyas, as he gulped, his drink and subsided behind the golfing^ enthusiast's abandoned paper, "talte my advlcq; and next time he crosses your't,' dot his '1' for him!'' MODESTY TBB BEST POLiOY. : : JT was the early part of the New �S'oBr, and little Dorothy, with her mother, was paying a long-delayed visit to Uncle Silas. Now, Uncle Silas was wea.lthy- very wealthy-and little Dorothy was vastly interested in the heathen black. So one morning she appeared front of the said uncle, and asked: "Uncle dear. Will you please glvenie something for my missionary box?" The' inoldent took place Immediately following a particularly satisfying lunch, and Uncle:Silas playfully threw on the dining-room table a copper, a fifty cent piece, and'a five dollar bill, remarking: "There, dear, you can have'which you like of the three." Then he' watched to see whait little Dorothy would do. � . That young person approaohed.- the, table and studied: the-eltuaypn-.i;en wlth: a orasiv,:vj: and a nftui'Jl touselftd head- wf^3'^ thrUstout into the darkness. :::.:':'^;r,:'i:'t:-: 'W'hat d'ye want?'.' oitee'd: a sleepy;S' growling Voice. , < "Are you Mr, Hlgglna?''^'oaanevaT;*;; child's piping voice from the shaiowl of the doorway below.  'i" . �Yes; wihatja want?" ' ' , ' Please come tp No. ,123 Fifteenth ', street as quick as you Can and brfng, your instruments!" - ' "I,ain't no' dpctQr! I'm the' carpwter. , Dr. HigKlns fllves two : doors below,'^;* And the window closed. , , .. Ten minutes lat6r the "doorbell rpner' again, tJjlsi'^me more-. vlblentlyV-Agata,..;^ tlie windo'^ went up and out cat^a Hlgglna's he?ua. - ,  ' "Well. *hatja want this time?'* , ' "Fl�d.se sir," 6aim� the sabe cliUd's voice, '(It's you we want. - Pa.an^,ma are �hut uji' in the folding bed!" LEFT OUT. "T)ID your iipdlfl, mention you dn his will?" "Just Barely-it re4d: 'To my ne- , iptie-w. Jotoft, I bequeath ngtbiny.'" y6u-bwry'hl�^' fearfully. ,'l .wiat^a to-minfbwfl pftper'i 'I'm^oM^.'ilr,'';^' tor, ?'bilt/{ ai^w kin jTvli-^l-A-ii 'Births' .next 3? mm ;