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Lethbridge Herald Newspaper Archives

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Lethbridge Herald, The (Newspaper) - December 15, 1971, Lethbridge, Alberta 20 THE LETHBRIDGE HERALD Wednesday, DetBmber 15, 1971- Growing out of the family r.y .MAl'KKKN .lAMIESUX-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- postpone m e n I or marriage." staff Writer However, not only is this im- i papular will] the older genera- Ideally a [ii-rson should lie j tl F -doesn't go down well h-i'.c.pciKicmt, particularly emu- _irL_ IVIJlCf vfl" llle younger generation lionally, by the age of 18, said I ciii-c-r, who are going to imivcr- Lawraice Kotkas. sitv or still wa'ilinB to eet a Ily .MAl'KKKN .IAMIESUN Staff Writer Ifk.'illy a pi-rson .should be t, particularly emo- tionally. by the age oi III, said Lawrence Kotkas. Kotkas. a prominent I :1) bridge psychiatrist, gave Ihc final lecture yesterday in Iht- series on child development snonsorcd by the Family Ser- vice Bureau. Ily the time (he "1 to ;i5 atjo p-uip is reached, n person shou'd have grown out of the family, he said. In our grandparents' gener- ation, il. was more like 14, 15 or and "in our a jx-rson was probably semi-in- dependent at 111, according to Dr. Kotkas. "Maybe they'll be indepen- dent fit or maybe they'll never be. It is one of the most striking things happening to- day.'1 he said, in reference to th? coming generation. ''We are all going to have trouble." he added, as the par- ents can't understand why chil- dren can't. more indepen- dent. STUFFED ANIMAL JUNGLE These happy critters are out to prove that the girls the lethbvidge Collegiate Institute home economics classes have been kept bu ir e ev year round. Besides being fun to make, fun to have and fixi to look at, they make great gifts for little (and big) ones. Combined program at LCI; vocational matriculation By TUIIC Staff Writer Hems discussed at a recent meeting between the parents of Lcthbridge Collepiute Institute students and principal K c n Sauer. included reports from the library committee, band committee, and new concepts for school Walter Penncr, chief librar- ian, said that the book collec- tion had been relatively Rood, totalling in cash value, with in cash With the money received, the school has bought microfilm to be used in the microfilm rend- er. a new addition in the li- brary. Mr. Sauer explained that do- nations and resjxmse to queries for help on the bam! fund pro- ject have been well received. To dale, it has approximated 52.000-J2.200 and has several other projects on tap for the new year. Mr. Saner went on to intro- duce a new concept in the school system which has been in use extensively in other ci- ties but overlooked here. "The people of Lrthbridge are missing the said Sauer, "and 1 am on a cm- sade to let them know the LCI facilities were built to serve Lethbridge and area w aren't they being hy Mr. S'aucr referred to the combining of matriculation and technical vocational programs to give the student a brcadcr base of knowledge to work with for the future. Jn this way, the student would be capable of entering university because of his ma- tric standing, and would also he able to use pome skill to j earn extra money, or use the skill directly after graduating. Mr. Sauer said that the peo- ple have a tendency to look at the technical vocational stu- dent as a second class citizen. j "It's time to look at it diifcr- i ently for several reasons." he j said. Among these he cited that S a university education is no i lonper "the thing to do.'' Proof of this is in the de- dine of university enrolment while technical schools such PS the Southern Alberta Institute oi Technology and the North- cm Alberta institute of Tech- nology are bulging with new students, lie said, i In view of this. Mr. Sauer i said that the people of Leth- bridge should take full advan- tage of the vocational facilities 1 available. I He said that the shop facil- Hies of the LCI were excellent but were not being used by the community as were m- 1 tended. "They were built to be used by Lcthbridge and area and I think they should be ho I .said. Mr. Sauer went on to outline i the many ways in which the I high schools of the city could j arrange programs for the stu- dents to make IHP of (he LCI j shops and suggested bus trans- portation to accommodate tni- vel between schools. The final item brought up j concerned the upcoming career 1 fair which will hold ihe I LCI in early February. The frir i will provide H chance for in- terested students and the pub- lic (o see, hear and talk about various professions with people who arc involved in t'r. m. j It. will extend to includr the1 city schools, the county of Lethbridge, the county of Rny- I mond, the Tabor ?chcol dis- tricl. St. Mary's school district I and Stirling. Independence along with a of identity is the main task of adolescence, but it must be remembered that even ideally there is plenty of room for be said. "Adolescence is the pivoting point of generations where generations he claimed. The first turn of the wheel is early adult life. All problems which may have occurred from birth on show up at this age. It is a difficult job to become independent of parents, parti- cularly emotionally, Dr. Kot- kas said. After economic and other kinds of independence have been achieved, "there arc still emotional holdovers which can go on through out our lives.'' Ideally, according to Dr. Kot- kas. there should be no hang- overs from relationships with parents, and idenlly. relation- ships with other people should emphasize equality. Full circle Paradoxically, as soon as an adolescent becomes indepen- he has to learn to become close to pronlc ag.iin." One of the main tasks is in- ter relationship, where the first thing the person should do N achieve a meaningful rela- tionship, as in marriage. "People with the most diffi- culty in e.-caping parental de- pendence I'.ave trouble with in- terdependence in h? said. "The more violent the prob- lems in becoming independent, the more difficulty in turning the full circle." lie explained unless the problems can solved in adolescence, the person cannot cone with later problems. Self-esteem "There is a whole school of psychology talking about self- teaching that the ex- periences of the whole of child- hood lead to the kind of feelings a person has about himself, said Dr. Kotkas. and this is "counteracting the Christ i a n tendency to make people feel badly about themselves." The crown of self esteem is independence, he said. "With enough self esteem, you can love someone else." Independence is inadequate- ly solved by many, and "never perfectly solved for any of us.'' Reverse imprint "Often a certain kind of de- pendence on parents is carried over. "Then you get all sorts of mar- riages that aren't really and there arc going tn he problems in the treat- ment, of children, he said. "The kind of impression we make on our children produce.1; something like a mold. When you turn it over you see I ho reverse imprint When that generation produces children you SOP all kinds of things com- ing out that were Dr. Kotkas added that when it comes to these children having c'.'il d r e n. all the problems passed into the original mold come out again. Ciiild rearers In Russia since the revolu- tion, in Israeli kibbutzim, and to a certain extent in the coun- ter cultures in the U.S.A. and other countries, children have been taken from their parents and brought up by people train- ed in child rearing. He stressed that children with this type of upbringing are "a lot healthier, but not as healthy as in a good, intense nuclear family." but that it was belter for some, like the Rus- sian child of the earlier gener- ations when "the average mar- riage in Russia was breaking down." According to one authority, said Dr. Kotkas, child-rearers tend to "produce a nice, stan- dard product, hut it doesn't have the depth in feelings and relationships we think ideal." Many parents are supporting children in the early years of marriage be claims. the chil- dren would have to postpone marriage and child raising for En impossible length of time, and "there is a limit to the Solutions? Dr. Kotkas considers there is n lot to he said fur family life in the West Indies where p'e form relationships, have c! iWren and never get mar- ried until the children are well on their way to independence." At a much later stage, pos- sibly in their forties, couples get married, and "it's a real celebration for an arrangement (hat has worked a real mar- riage. It will probably never cafch on here." Another kind of marriage, also possibly an improvement on ours, he said, is the gypsy .wedn'ing ceremony, "where the partners swear to go immedi- ately if they stop loving each other." This is a move towards reality, he explained, adding "I don't think you can have a good marriage unless the part- ners are free to go." For belter, worse "What do we do when 80 per cent of mar r i a g e s are no good? We have to provide al- Dr. Kotkas consid- ered couples could live together and be discouraged from hav- ing children until the relation- ship proved a good one. Lots of people write off mar- riage as a bad institution, ac- cording to Dr. Kotkas. but the "problems are due to the kind of people who get married." "IVTy own feeling is the con- cept of marriage is the best wav of living and bringing up children, but for many, many people, it may not he said. In And On the occasion of their sil- ver wedding anniversary. Mr. and Mrs. Simon Berger of the city were feted recently at a family dinner held at the home of the Inttw's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Sum V'irostek Sr. of En- chant. A turkey buffet was served 'n the forty guests. A set of din- own ROYAL INVITATION BOOK BANNED SALISBURY, Rhodesia (AP) Government censors have norware was presented to the bride and groom on behalf of j the family by Mrs. Usrger's j oldest brother, Sam Virostek, j who was best man ai. the wed-1 ding 2.5 years ago. Kevin Virostek, the oldest, presented a gift from all the' nieces and nephews. j The couple then cut the wed- ding cake which was riatcly decorated with silver trimmings. To further cel- ebrate the occasion, Mr. and Mrs. Berger will leave soon for a vacation in Las Vegas, New Mexico, and Mexico. Patricia Frame is visiting this week in Toronto with her sisler and brother-in-law, Mr. and Mrs. G. R. Retake. LONDON (AP) Queen Eliz- abeth has invited West Gcrnif.ii President Gnstav Heinemann to pay a slate visit to Britain in ihe took Politics, 11972, BucIiinKhani Palace an-1 written by women's lib figure nottnced. I Kate Millett. BINGO MOOSE HALL 1234 3rd AVENUE NORTH WEDNESDAY AT P.M. Jackpot SI25 in 56 Numbers 12 Game in 7 Number 4th 8lh 12 Games Doubled in 7 Numbers S Cords 2 FREE GAMES FREE CARDS DOOR PRIZE NO CHILDREN UNDER 16 SPONSORED BY THE LOYAL ORDER OF MOOSE Jeeling miser- able 'if he doesn't call. 'Iff I calendar Local liappcnintfS U n i v c r sity of Lethbridge i Christmas party will be held Friday at the new Henderson Ice Arena from p.m. Party following at Alan son Public School p.m. j Old time and western square dance classes usually held in the Dr. Ilammon .School in Ta- her. are cancelled until after the holiday season. Xi Iota will hold a Christmas j party this evening at p.m. at the home of Mrs. Millie Lugwick, 2410 17 Ave. Co- hostcss will be Mrs.' Eleanor Klippenstein. FRESH BAKED GGDPIES FOR THE HOLIDAYS} Be Sure To Plnce Your Special Orders Early To Avoid Disappointment! CHRISTMAS DARK and LIGHT FRUIT CAKE (Plain or Decorated) MINCE PIES MINCE TARTS MINCE CUSHIONS CHRISTMAS BREAD SHORTBREADS CHRISTMAS COOKIES CHRISTMAS STOUEN CHRISTMAS PUDDING MARQUIS BAKERY located in Thn MARQUIS HOTEl PHONE 337-4441 IMPSONS-SEARS In a holiday mood 'SORRENTO' WIGS! Sale Continues Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Introductory price 18 each For festive nights and exciting days ahead. Our beautiful Sorrento wigs, now at a special introductory price! New long shaggy length with a cascade of curls, lor the feminine look you love! Tapered sides go curly c-r smooth. Wear it. wnsh it! 100% Dynel. Choose Iroin lovely natural tones. Open Daily 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. Until Christmas. Centre Village Mall. Telephone 328-9231, ;