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Lethbridge Herald Newspaper Archives

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Lethbridge Daily Herald (Newspaper) - December 6, 1913, Lethbridge, Alberta 11 mi Ii UMPCR lUHKBTdT FUNNY Till NGi PITIED HIM SETTLING THE CANNY SCOT MUST exoUlmed tbM poaijwas ytrsop, tbc rtevlfi; L J "Ausi I am pqusUy confident jit Is a roiovtfvi wild "Xuv, "uiy dear sir." tuff01} the pom- 'po'is "this device was put here (primarily xs a oa to M- jtarh a la of fire In the vl- jflnlty. it is absolutely im- j possible tb'at it fan be anftliliis but a I fireplug." ''You are tnlirelv tho other. "ThU was Inre to suppsjr water. -OoasHiutntiy It Is a water-plug. Uqfc supplied theu. of U ivoiitt be a fire- i'lug." The numinous person ing pedestrian. he be-aac, "I desire to appeal 10 your This genltemaa -fm become Involved la an argument with 'me. He that this device a water-plus, while J, with equal! confidence, claim thai It is a fire-pluc. j you Singly Ibe nuessUon for! replied the pedestrian. I j-You say this Is a fire-iilus- and youv> liriend declares It Is a Just j -let me investigate." j lie looked carefully, at Ihe plu? and (tapped it gently with his cane. I "1 greatly fear you are both !he finally remarked. appears to be an iron plug." oar old friend, 1'oor t.-bar-" -What! Js lie "Worse than What's to btmT' -He's rim off with my Tvlfiv' PRETTY NEAT "Here ye've. gied m tee wrang THE TABLET PESSIMISM T Uas.beeu oKou sahl thai the fara- ptar ot ihe great iiianisl are assumeU merely or siaze ;i story Just reported, Vienna proves conclusively thai I'aihu] aim's merry sh in thU lii-iluiu'c delightfully by no means exdu-Jwl rein his prltatc llto. The tate runs Ibit Do Pachiuinn aJ CiOidmnrfc, the oiKra torn- r. met In (rein of the latler's home a short lime ago. nartt Is n most estimable oW goalie- UKIU and a writer of exception-Ally bril-! l and rndodlims music, but lila oue great fault" Is most overuliclwlug con- ceit, a trsit vrhleh olton gives his iiila oft-aslru tor mucb merriment. at his expanse. As De 1'ac-hmann ami loldruatk walked away from the com- joser's house the pointed back- ward over hi? shoulder, ntid 'That modest Ifltle edifice will tie signally dLSllnguIsheiE some day after vou are dead.1' murmured GciWmarli, blushing with pleasure, continued DC I'achmann. They will decorate It tvlili a "And do you suppose they will say on Uie tablet after I dea' ashed the. composer, eagerly. lei." was De Pachtntmn's ;iiUiy reply fts he scuttled-arrows ihe sii WATERMELON Booking Clerk: man, you SMALL nc-yro boy went io a pby- much too to tt.-' TOO REVERSE Ameriran merchant A lesal luininary, though j a sood ailminisrrator of the law In other was noted for the way he-rot miiefl in his charges to ibe one oocasioa a cane tried .before Klin, the. points of which" may briefly staled Smith brought a EtiH. nsainx Jocesl upon a soie gnen for a horse. Jones' defencs was failure of consideration, he averring ihat at the tirue of the-, purchase ths torse "had Ibe of which he died, kcsw Ii. .Sihilh repliedj ihac the horse did nor hare the ?lan- hut ibe distemper, and liiai Jooes It when be Looghc Mm, Th'f judge' thus'coargpd the Jury: "Gentlemen oi tbe Jury: Pay.attea- the cbarse of the Court. You have alriadj- made one mistrial of I hie case bet-aus? you did roi. pay aitcntlon, and 1 to twenty husbands and had ealed them all alike, running away frohi each In turn and taking their iable property with her. She wo0ianr-and A wotiun n allied of sylvanlp. was sent Io itrEson-jiot long for bigamy. Though' was onlj Uvsiily-SEVfn yeara old. she-nad icar rietl twelve ;'nien in'tflti ytard. Hci pnly comment in court was that she lia'd. liked them all. A Bftftr wonnn named "De Beers sixih husMnd died rc-fcntly, i iRo'.her and atepsnoihcrro i Inc rfiijflren, whlio her grant 'children niimlier 270. four of her si ivere all with fair ]lV.large families when'she.'marrlii What Pat did not fo7 lhine i BIG Brf f "Hi: Banter co.e wif do i I'ou UP In war? Ihe Caolins (in ths-dlsfancrt "Bsttl-r let 'Lnl ar.u I'll n-.rt Wo nrmy waiting." 'fir? hundred itaw. turning to the two men. tiial pithy Ilie sadly: -Whifh of wlien you consider that fvonr fate we I only one hundred out !1.' "'Why. did you do other four tnmilrc-d, Colonel? the Jiribe OVER THE MKMDER of the House 'of nions nad U'C-n paying sTiouled Coloci] Byrne, to a yc-jns lady for a Inns while, and n r.irs. .rASt to .be ,'t hotly- no moral It dred dollars, to Da ypu think 1 have osf. aie four thai alrt IN VAIN was his jL' slumber the other night, his wife's Ills ribs "firI [up. Dan." she "thore's a bargiar in'lhc houFc." hi the sJair.'? and [found a ninimaging ID the. cop': jbnurd. Hi (ini; "VVell, iiiob, 'r.hnt ari'o "I'm for rttoited "Oh, KtH Dan, "I'll go back" to tea. Shout me if you find any." ._ to alttatl the until ?.he vas irell posted In the OQ day of the fusion, as Iheyi fame out. ho bnirght lier a anl sail to J yoa my handful V She rolled move to aracnd by 'omfliing 'afifir tfie lie the :ent. and they adopted it unanimously BOUND TO" SUCCESS HrUl's 1 "Ct-nccrt it'- ._ "Any r-in In itrj "N'nl ft.1 "Any, muclc Iri a note." "O'iilc DEW ON IT "Oomf, Willie, don't so fd- SS' J -vi T.7I-- wis an ardent lover, an lour, and a practH-ally lover. It PakicVt'fi eve and In ;hl3 hand he tore a pot of real Irish They -rrrc on the onld he sniiT. as lif: ifVe.-enlfd to "raised on the of Jn now Muri'hy.-" trlfiO his lady I in rleliglit, really swett of ye.1 'fish. U-t.yonr lU'le bir.ther pTtiyjiiow ttrfcct are rmd hnw fre.'h. 3 wn.iie-'1 'Io believe th3t there's a lltlh Willie: '-He tnranj (o r Ma: T" think lyiaitonxd IMPU o' llioin alK 'tm yr-t." fiu.'hr-d I kii-iv.- th-rc i'-ll I Id Jii'-TMYi'.'' THE.SON BRIDGET'S KISSES _ had adniinlofere.! tlie cullna'ry'affalrj ul the Morse honsc- holtl for .many years, Bomollmts torf] lictweep JcvoLlon to lior inls- Irras iinil loyalty to Ihe siralj son o! Iho fnEd Murse, !n a tone of wonder, an inaiicction of the have siilendlil rfi avylcs ?onc that tlis man brought jrs- Ihoso four blK "Wcjl, low. said Ilrid- Bel. "I i-onlcln't rlgWIy sny. lull'I'm _. ITR. PilANOR J. ELDER teils this anccJotc of rombo, tic great South merican poet, "who