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Lethbridge Herald Newspaper Archives

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Lethbridge Herald, The (Newspaper) - August 21, 1973, Lethbridge, Alberta THE LETHMIOOE 7 Lynne Van Luven Dreamer Mazie makes archeological probe My friend Mazie handed me A letter to read when I visited her this week. It was addressed to Herb minister of consumer and corporate affairs. Here is what ehe know you're a busy man these days so I'll keep my little note as short as pos- sible. You I want to tell you about my dream But hold Before you chuck this letter let me tell you mine was no ordinary dream. It was a profoundly shaking vi- sion. Meat cuts .you I don't dream at all. Sleep like a log. But what with the rising prices and I've been kind of restlsss. Instead of counting I find myself counting lamb and pork and sausages and that leads to counting price and that results in long and horri- bly complicated sums of arith- which wakes me right Up. But last night I had this oream maybe the dog chow Stew we had for supper didn't agree with me the dream took place about a thousand years from now. I was on an archeo- logical expedition with the worlcl-renouned Dr. X Cavate. Surely you've heard of his mar- vellous findings in the South- ern Alberta rain It was kind of be- cause in the dream I was a person cf the but I was also aware of being a consumer in 1973. Mounds Dr. Cavate and I were unearthing the remains of some long-lost ci- vilization. We dug through mounds of common everyday garbage and underneath which there was a great deal of twisted metal and rusted obviously from primitive vehicles. we got down to the real the genuine artifacts. Dr. Cavate was sty- mied he'd never seen any- thing like it. The first item we dug up looked just like a set of false teeth which had been gaily painted and decorated. On the back of the upper and lower plates was a little handle where your fingess fit very nicely. Dr. Cavate just scratched his head. But my alter the 1973 knew at once what we'd found. are just ceremonial I announced confi- dently. in the latter por- tion of the 20th there was a period known as The Great Inflation. People could Hot afford and dentures soon became useless. False teeth were converted into crude which the people .used for accompaniment when they engaged in tribal dances to pray to the Great Pierre for affordable said Dr. Cay- scribbling furiously in his notebook. V-He held up primitive neck-- laces and made of irregular shaped yellowish white beads. .i. f r n nt human I replied. ing solid people's teeth fell out from lack of so they turned them into jewel- lery. Very rich natives were known to give their lady loves expensive rings made from huge molars in mint condi- exulted Dr. convinced I was a genius. And so it went. We unearthed a variety of crude drums made from converted cooking pots. And we found rough- ly crafted sculptures made from the skeletons of shop- ping carts. Dr. Cavate was delerious at last he'd learned what hap- pened to the extinct tribe of homo sapiens who'd inhabited the Canada nation. The strangest item we uncov- ered was an entire completely mummified. As we stripped away the miles of in- sulating we found it was a federal government of- fice complex which had been specially treated with some vile smelling preservative. isolated from the decay- and ruin which affect- ed the rest of the the contents of the office wen perfectly intact right down to the sheets of paper sitting on the paper emblazon- ed with the partment of Consumer and Corporate I wish I could tetl you the end of the but that's when I woke MADGE EQUIPMENT LTD. USED 1972 CELICA ST 2-DOOR HARDTOP. Aqua with black 2000cc 4 speed reclining bucket AM-FM radial tires. Was NOW ONLY inmg bucket 1995 NEW 1973 MARK II 4-DR. SEDAN 6 cyl. 2400cc power power automatic AM-FM reclining front bucket gold with brown interior. New' Price NOW ONLY reclining from '3997 NEW 1973 COROLLA 1200 2-DOOR SEDAN. Lime with black 1200cc 4 speed reclining bucket seats. New Price NOW ONLY i jtuucc '2198 NEW 1973 HILUX TON PICKUP 2000cc 4 speed white in colour with black interior. New Price NOW ONLY............. wmre in colour '2696 COMPLETE LINE OF TOYOTA CARS AND TRUCKS IN STOCK DEAL NOW ON A TOYOTA AND RECEIVE 50 GALLONS OF FREE GAS MADGE EQUIPMENT LTD. Office Phone 647-3838 or 647-3939 Paul Madge Res. 647-3812 MILK RIVER Ken Gaits Res. 344-3859 ;