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Lethbridge Herald Newspaper Archives

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Lethbridge Herald, The (Newspaper) - April 30, 1974, Lethbridge, Alberta April 30, 1974 THE LETHBRIDQE HERALD 9 Lynne VanLuven Le Pigeon-Poste ruffles Quellet The place: Ottawa in the spring of 1974. On Parliament Hill, jaunty daffodils and tulips nod their heads as the gentle breeze rustles past them. Inside the House of Commons, sagging MP's nod their heads as the torpid current of late afternoon debate wafts past them. The setting: the office of Andre Ouellet, postmaster general. A postal department underling has, after much earnest supplication, obtained an interview with M. Ouellet. Henri Epworth Courrier (his mother was far ahead of her time in matters bilingual and bicultural) has been with the post office for 33 years. Slight, with wispy grey hair and an anxious expression, Courrier has a faded, limp look to him, rather like a letter left too long in the rain. He enters Ouellet's office nervously. Ouellet: Alors, my good man, what can we do for you this fine afternoon? And why aren't you out picketing like the others? Courrier: Mon dieu, I went this morning, but my feet they are killing me and my varicose veins, how they throb. But sir, I had to come, I had to tell you. I have it the salvation, the solution to all your problems. Ouellet (startled, leaping from his Solution? Salvation? Wait just a minute here! You aren't the same crackpot who wanted to publicize postal codes by having federal employees name their newborn children TlK 3Y4 and S6M 8P2, are you? Courrier: Mais non, non. You are thinking of Jacques Timbre, who is with us no longer. Ouellet (relieved, subsiding into his All right, sorry. Say, you're not the wag who wanted to launch a national advertising campaign with the slogan, 'stamp out .strikes, pay your posties more', are you? Courrier: Really Sir, you think so little of me. That was Winston Eldert, one of our honorable members, who was not re-elected. Ouellet: Well, okay, let's hear your heh-heh mind boggling solution. Courrier (excited, drawing 'a sheaf of papers and diagrams from his back- Not complicated, sir. It's really a time honored method. I propose we do away with all this new fangled automation, all this messy bureaucracy associated with Canada Poste. Back to pur past, back to our traditions, as it were, to a simpler approach Ouellet: All right, all right, get on with it. Courrier: Pigeons and burros. Ouellet: Courrier: Le Pigeon Poste. Or, for the more poetic, Vol de Pigeon. And for second class mail: L'Ane Bureau, I mean, the Burro Bureau. You see sir, we can send all our air mail via a phalanx of well trained, speedy and obedient pigeons. Pigeons are easy to come by, they are not prone to strike and their wants are few. Furthermore, they have no union. We'd be ahead on two counts pigeon carriers would never stage a sympathy walk-out, and mails would move from coast to coast, whether the airport firemen settled their dispute or not. Come to think of it, pigeons don't need uniforms either Ouellet: Now see here. Courrier, I'm a busy man. Courrier: Please, let me finish. As for the second class mail, the burros would do nicely. You note I propose burros; they are sturdy and hard-working, do not have the mean disposition of Shetland ponies or the stupidity of the mule. I definitely do not even consider the horse for obvious reasons: people would start to put their money on the 'ponies.' Ouellet: But, but Courrier: Of course we would have to take care that the term 'pony express' is never used unpleasant American connotations, you know. We would establish battalions of burros the infantry of the post office, you might say in relay EASY SWEEP 1 BUILDING CLEANING SERVICES SPRING SPECIAL CLEAN-UP Shampooing all typea of rugs Deodorizing-shock proofing, raking Window Cleaning STRIPPING-SEALING-RE-FINISHING All types of tile floors Rec room floort Hardwood floors Vv'hy nui us and arrange for a FREE ESTIMATE ALL WORK GUARANTEED 327-3365 24 hr. answering service stations across the country. And the best part of all is, I happen to have a cousin who has a loft full of pigeons and a paddock loaded with frisky burros. What do you say, sir? Sir? Ouellet (speaking into his Miss Stryke, could you check our files to see what we did, er, where we transferred, Mr. Timbre'' DAVIS ENTERPRISES (ALBERTA) .We Pay the Hlgheat for HIDES-SCRAP ALBERTA STEEL PRODUCTS Division of IndmtrtM Ltd. in New Structural Stool, FUti and (WltoloMlo Both Located at 1505 2nd Avo. S., Lothbridgo Phono 327-4035 or 327-8281 freezer FREEZER FILLER Thta frottor order la Miggwted for family wtth woakly food budget of about SM. It eon bo changed hi any way to Milt your family Your payment ot food bo about than your total wookly grocery Mil. you buy In quantWot, DUI wtiat a comnMMM way of food ordor will convince matter what your oatlng or of grocery budget. 148 LBS. NET OVEN READY BEEF PORK LAMB GRADE A-1 GOVERNMENT INSPECTED ALBERTA GRAIN FED BEEF Portorhouao Club Staaka T-Bono StaaKa Sirloin Staaka Round Chuck Steaka Boot Ground Baof Ground Beaf Stow Boot Baby Baof Lhrar Brttket Short Bribing Soup (Freo) Sirloin Tip Rump Round Rib Roaau Crow Rib Pot 12 pork Butt 7 Pork Loin 12 Ham 8 Pork SauMge 8 Sliced Bacon 4 (IMPORTED) 4 Lamb Shoulder 3 Lamb Shoulder 4 Lamb Leg 2 Lamb Loin 2 Lamb Rib VEGETABLES Frosh Frozen Canada Fency 6 6 and Mixed ASSORTED MEATS 4 French 8 16 Aeaorted Lunch 6 pkga. and 14 Meat (Chicken, Turkey, Beef) 10 Young Turkey, Grade A FROZEN F.RUiT FRESH FROZEN 4 2 BlueberrkM 2 Rhubarb 8 Beef 4 Cod 20 Pot Food (Raw Moat) 18 Stewing Fowl (cut up) 4 Veal Pattlea 8 French 6 4 4 Kernel Corn 3 Spinach CONCENTRATED FRUIT JUICE (8 Fl. Oz. 8 Grape 8 Apple 8 Orange 8 Lemonade STAPLE ITEMS 8 ProceMod 18 Kraft Dinner 6 Shortening (tag.) 4 Lard IS Margarine ATTENTION SPECIALS AVAILABLE WITH FOOD ORDERS T-BONE STEAKS 1.39 ib. STANDING ROAST BLADE OR CHUCK STEAKS Ib. HAM Ib. GROUND BEEF ib. SLICED BACON ib. FROZEN FRENCH FRIES ib. FRYERS ib. FROZEN MIXED VEG. .11 ib. WIENERS ib. MARGARINE ib. WE RESERVE OUnDC I THE RIGHT CHOPS TO LIMIT .43 ib. QUANTITIES. FREE TURKEY To every new cuatorner with _ any Bidwell food order PLUS... To all our a lot price that will really yoii money. Baby Food, Canned Soup, Juices, Margar- ine. Detergents, Etc All At Discount Prices. CALL TODAY It'cotta nothing to enquire Juil for more information. We have repre- sentatives covering the entire province we deliver everywhere in Alberta, LETHBRIDGE 329-0234 BIDWELL I BsF tea SUM HDM FOOD PROCESSORS LTD. Largest Supplier of Freezer Meat and Bulk MAIL NOW Food Processors Ltd. No. 7 Lower Level 740 4th Ava. S., Lethbridge Yes, it is interesting, and I would like to receive information at absolutely no cost or obligation. JNAME I ADDRESS I CITY L_PHONE ;