Lethbridge Herald, The (Newspaper) - April 17, 1973, Lethbridge, Alberta
2O iHE ICiHSlMDOS HERALD April Lynnt1 Van Luccn Beef boycott nearly stews a marriage Ma'iie was crying into her dishwater when I visited her yesterday. "I j-j-just c-c-can't she blubbered, scouring a ket- tle vigorously. "What a way to go to the divorce I asked, wonder- SOUTHERN ALBERTA BUSINESS SAMPLER ing what tempest in the marital teapot was upsetting her now. "Ye-e-es, my friend wailed, stopping to blow her nose on some of that tow- elling guaranteed to absorb att kinds of spills. "It's Ralph. In 12 years of marriage, we have never had a problem like this, and I just don't know how to cope "What exactly Is the prob- I asked in nay best de- duotave manner. Mazie, determined to bft brave, sniffed one last time, trumpeted into her paper towel and sat down at the kitchen table. "It's a long she began, "but to make it bnef, I am boycotting beef, Ra'ph loves beef, he cannot live by bread alone and has turned to Mavis Goodbod for comfort" Comfort boycott, comf o r t, I asked, somewhat stow on the up-take. Mazie, looking deep into my eyes. "The moral of my sad tale is: you can't win. I had hoped to make Ralph and the kids proud of me as an aware consumer. I decided the price of beef was too great a price to pay. So I sat up nights, dreaming up new meat- less menus. Charming little dishes like "Turnips Strogan- "Squash "Beets "Potato Pudding" and "Cabbage THE ROUND ONE from Carrier 9 Money-saving 2 speed motor cruises on most hot days. Speeds up for scorchers. solid state control system monitors critical operat- ing circuits. Neighbor pleasing upffow design tosses heat and sound skyward. Built-in accessories filter dryer, tight glass, crankcase heater, low voltage transformer. MOOR 38GR BTU'v INSTALLATION from Garner THE COMPACT New computer designed fan assembly assures top performance. Thermal and current sensitive overload devices safeguard internal components Attractive compact design com- plements your home's landscaping. Float mounted hermetic compressor designed for quiet operation. CALL TODAY, FREE HOME SURVEY, NO OBLIGATION. EASY FINANCING MODEL 3IGS PIUS INSTALLATION FURNACES, SHEET METAL AND HEATING-AIR CONDITIONING 2214-43rd ST. S. 327-5816 "And what did it get me'" asked Mazie, making the most of an emotionally charged mo- ment. "Complaints, bickering, backtalk, and absentee dliners, that's what. Now I ask you, where is the jit'ice in that? And now, now, through the neighborhood grapeline, I learn the most beastly news of all- Ralph is on the verge of be- traying me not only me, my ideals as weft. I don't know which hurts more With that, Mazie could main- tain her brave front no longer and dissolved into a torrent of tears. "Do you mean to tell me I asked aghast. Forsaken blubbered Mazie be- tween bosom heaving sobs. "He's forsaken my board in favor of the groaning table of Mavis Goodbod. She's a rich widow, she can afford to pay 99 cents for weiners and for sinewy steak. So her meals are seducing him at least I hope it's just her meals, al- though Lord knows how far things have gone by now I thought of Mavis Goodbod. She is a bustling, well-uphol- stered little person, something of a drab Her husband, rath- er, her late husband, had been a travelling salesman, he sold ladies' lingerie. The rat race apparently got to him he (rung himself from the oak tree in the back yard used cor- sef strings for a noose. "Certainly." I said, assuring my friend, "you have nothing to fear from Mavis. She has no personality at all. is a sloppy housekeeper and a frumpy dres- ser." choked Mazie, "but she made pot roast last night How Ignominious, loos- ing out to a mere pot roast. "How will it look in the court- room, when my lawyer has to admit that it was a mere pot roast that drove Ralph to the table of another woman. What a slur on my parsnip to be beaten out by a stringy pot roast." Resolution With that awful realization clear m her mind, Mazie thump- ed on the table in resolve, some- thing of the old fire creeping back into her eyes. "That does it. Principles be she shouted. "We'll see who's got what it "What are you I asked, somewhat alarm e d, knowing Mazie's violent streak. "I'm making two calk." she announced. "One to Ralph, which win be succinct ami to the point. And one to the meat market reserving the big- gest, plumpest sirloin roast you ever DURUM SPAGHETTI Spaghetti connoisseurs of Eu- rope, and particularly of Italy, will hopefully take notice of what Canada may have to offer them. Researches at the Canadian Grain Commission's grain re- search laboratory are working with a machine to test cooked spaghetti made from Canadian durum wheat. TTie cooked spa- ghetti is tested for firmness, textasrc and chewiness.