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Lethbridge Herald Newspaper Archives

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Lethbridge Herald, The (Newspaper) - April 17, 1973, Lethbridge, Alberta Ann Landers ft S ft DEAR ANN LANDERS: I am baffled, bemused, mixed up and in need of an outside opinion. The man I 1 o t e seems to be two people in- stead of one. One day he can be the dearest, kindest, most affectionate, most generous, adorable guy in the world. The next day. for no appar- ent reason he is the coldest, meanest, most cutting, insult- ing, rotten person and com- pletely unreachable. DEAR ANN LANDERS: Ten years ago, when I was 20 and hoping to get married, people were giving me the same tired line: "Relax don't be 5n a rush. He'll come along." Since then I've spent a few thousand nights alone and have put together some hard learned advice for the Sing'e Girl. In my cpipion. it is far more practical than yours. Here it is: Don't lef anyone, not even Ann Landers, tell you that you have the rest of your life to find the right guy By the time you are 30. "the right guy" is married or dat- ing girls under 25. Stop kidding yourself about you are finishing last. If you were interested in men you wouldn't be working around women all day long. Why not get out of notions or cosmetics? Switch to the men's underwear de- partment And what about after hours? Do you sit home with the TV night after night or laugh it up with the girls? Every city has night classes, political groups, hobby clubs. Pick something that appeals to you and to men. Don't compare yourself to women who are fatter, slop- pier and uglier, and wonder why they are marned and When he's sweet to me I'm on top of the world. When he's ugly and mean I suffer the tortures of the damned. I've begged him to tell me what's wrong. He says, "Just leave me alone." Tfcen he sits silent and broods for hours. I have suggested that he seek professional help. He refuses. How can I fight this? DEAR J.: With your hat. Take it and run. you aren't. Looks mean nothing compared with the responses you create in a man. When you get a chance to go out. do you show a genuine interest in the guy? Do you ask questions and let him talk about himself? Or is he just a sucker who will pick up the tab? Finally, does being a "good" girl mean avoiding warm relationships and keep- ing all men at arm's length? If so. you're creating your own roadblocks to marriage and could profit from some counselling. That ''old who wrote sounded like me ten years ago. Good luck to her. C.M.H. DEAR C.M.H.: I support every word of your jes, even the part about being a ''good" girl. I'm not suggesting that hopping in bed will enhance her chances: in fact, often it does just the opposite. But I agree that an ''unclaimed jewel" in her roid-20's who is incapable of a warm relationship with a man mav need professional coun- selling in order to help her thaw out and free up the channels of communication. The touch-me-not, super-puri- tanical female who comes off as a paragon of virtue may be so crippled by fear and guilt that she needs therapy. April 17. 1973 THI IITHBRIOGI HERALD 21 Illegitimate births up in Russia MOSCOW (AP> "We lived together for eight years then, when I mentionej the word he ran like a coward.'' The words are those of a So x'iet country girl who. like thou- sands of Soviet females, moved to the big city in search of fun and ended up in the special world of the unwed mother Hers was one of many case? examined recently in a rare public discussion of unwed mothers in the weekly Literary Gazette. The paper took the Soviet re- public of Byelorussia as an ex- ample. It said illegitimate births there were up a wlwop- ing 450 per cent among 20-w 24- year-old girls in 1970 and up 350 per cent among 35-to 19-year- olds. This is a "huge moral and ethical problem that must not be allowed to go unsolved any Literary Gazette said. Soviet society still relegates most unmarried mothers and their offspring to a difficult ex- istence worsened by courts that rule heavily in the male's favor. The government does not re- lease national statistics, but Lit- 1 erary Gazette said the rates in j Byelorussia are characteristic i of the situation in most of the country. In the old west Social studies were brought to life recently for the students of Gsorge McKillop School, when several classes from Grades 1 to 3 presented a program for parents, teachers and other Displays were set up for the project and were taken care of and explained by the students who made them. Shown is nine-year-old Lloyd Schneider of 201 H St. N., adding the finishing touches to his class display of old Fort Walsh. Life of poverty accepted as God's will BINGO LETHBRIDGE FISH GAME A5SOC. IN THE EAGLES HALL 13th St. N. JACKPOT IN 58 NUMBERS FREE CARDS 3 JACKPOTS (4th, 8th and fN 7 NUMBERS NO CHILDREN UNDER 16 By BER.VARD WEIXTR 4UB New York Times Service NEW DELHI She sits on to New Delhi, where she was beard the policeman was mar- veranda. "We are not supposed placed in a to a bidder. I came room to be sold ried himself and had his own i children. When Chandra was a to Delhi I month old. I left him." to cook, but I pretend I am making my pan. said Radha. whose teeth are stained red a shadv corner of Connaught i was 20 and pretty." she says. Place carefully folding the i laughing. Now I'm 35. I think. who said his job was finding betel 'leaves each morning and I'm not pretty anymore, am' pretty girls to take to New re- She met a man in the village from the constant chewing of DEAR ANN LANDERS: What are the chances for a mixed racial marriage? Our daughter who is in law school told us last night that she vants to announce her en- gagement to a black medical student next May. His par- ents are no happier about it than we are. Their back- grounds are similar to ours and financially. They see the same problems ahead for our children that we see. We wonder if our daughter and her fiance have consider- ed all the possibilities. She will be resented by members of the black community. He will be unacceptable to the white community. And what about their children? Will they consider themselves black or white? And what will they be considered by others? We are not prejudiced peo- ple. Ann. In fact, we are the most liberal couple in our so- cial circle. We entertain blacks in our home and have been entertained by them. But having a black son-in- law is another matter. And the prospect of mulatto grand- PUBLIC BINGO 16 GAMES 2 JACKPOTS LETHBRIDGE ELKS LODGE ROOM (Upstairs) EVERY THURS.-8 p.m. children has created consid- erable stress in our family. We'd like your views. diana Parents DEAR INDIANA: These days, marriage is risky, even between members of the same race. Interracial mar- rfages have additional built- in hazards for the reasons you mentioned. Anyone who does not accept this fact is unrealistic. It takes an extra- ordinary couple to surmount the problems. Speaking strictly as a moth- er who was born and raised in Iowa (myself a member of a minority I would not be pleased if our daughter had married out of her reli- gion, much less her race. But I would accept any man of her choice, and I would do everything in my power to be supportive and wish them well. I have known extraordinary couples who made it work. There are a number of fac- tors that improve the chances For example, an in- terracial marriage will fare better in Hawaii than in the Deep South. Moreover, pro- fessional people do better than lower-income people. Obviously your daughter and her intended are of legal age. If they are determined to marry aad prepared to buck the heavy odds, accept the situation. Whether you like it or not. this is the di- rection in which the world is moving. selling them to the laborers, j shopkeepers and taxi drivers who surge around the centre i of the city. "It's not bad. It could be worse." she says with a smiie. "We live here, we wash here, j we eat here. My child has grown up here. She sleeps i i next to me. I know the people I here and they know me. It's I my life. God has willed this l and there's nothing I can say i {about it." Radha she is unsure o f j I her last name is one of the i many pamvalis, or sellers of' the 1 Indians love to chew, in the j centre of the capital. Like hun- o'reds of poor, illiterate villag- j ers who arrive each week at i the New Delhi railway station. I her struggle for the barest survival is enacted against a Sitting in a park across from her stand. Radha spoke HI Hindi during a late-afternoon break in her busy street busi- ness. A hefty woman, she wore thick bracelets on her feet and arms. She nervously toyed with the bracelets as she spoke, breaking into laughter one moment, in silent distrac- tion the next. She was born in Bangara- pet, outside Bangalore, the cap- ital of Mysore. Her father, Krishna, is a landless laborer who earns 20 to 30 rupees a Delhi to help them get jobs. "I met him in a neighbors the pan. "I think God will protect I said Radha. "I have been here many years and I' house." she said. "What did I am used to it. We are poor. I j cannot give milk to Chandra. All I can afford is baked breed and some vegetables." it's always too ex- i pensive." she said, breaking' into a grin. "All the time I ana j worried about food. When I was a child I worried and now I am worried. It is, I suppose.' know? I went with him t o Delhi, where he put me in a room in the bazaar and told me he wanted to sell me. He told me there were rich buy- ers." started beating him and crying." she said. "I didn't want to be sold. But I had no money. I had nothing. I begged in the street, but I came those days Radha occasionally buy some I of the betel leaf stuffed with mv LEGION BINGO EVERT WEDNESDAY of 8 p.m. JACKPOT BLACKOUT IN 55 NUMBERS OR LESS (Increasing ene number per until wen) lit GAME JACKPOT 5th GAME (X) 10th GAME JACKPOT IN 49 NUMBERS FREE BUS SERVICE HOME AFTER BINGO MEMORIAL HALL PUBLIC MEMBERS AND GUESTS NORMANDY LOUNGi Children under 16 not allowed Sponsored by Ladiei Auxiliary to Canadian leaiew "spicv betel leaves "that i month, or S3 to "We never i spices cocomrt. ijme and betel _ t_ _i___ ii__ HaH ffrfvi TjfA had water. backdrop of hunger, supersti- food, we never had Radha says. An only child. Radha up on the. bare farm in total poverty, and was at the age of 10, married to an older boy whose family was equally poor. Although such child marriages tion and remorseless depriva- are officially banned now. they tion. Her plight is. nevertheless. deeply poignant because Radha has endured a past of bleak tribulation: an arranged mar- nut from aii elderly street hawker on Connaught Place. The hawker, named Pandit. I worked and lived on the ver- j anda outside a nearby restau- rant. "He is an old man. a kind man. ery quiet, and he told me that he would take care of SS S feel that their sons and daugh- ters will somehow emerge, to-; i riage as a child, the death of gether. in a better life. I her infant son. tagging, a move I At 15- Radha saw her hus" leave the farm one morn- WeeWhimsy AFTERNOON BINGO EVERY WED. AT 2 P.M. MOOSE HALL 1234 3 Ave. No. JACKPOT WON EVERY WEEK SPONSORED BY THE WOMEN THE MOOSE No Children Under 16 Allowed Everybody Welcome j ing. He never returned. She j later heard he had remarried. j Radha wandered to a nearby village. Pongunru. where she i worked as a farm laborer and then met a local policeman. j "I moved in with him." she said. "I lived with him for three years. He was a good man. and he fed me. The first child i was a son. a beautiful son.' Shangargi. But when he was two tie got sick. There were no doctors, and he died." She spoke quietly. "A beau- tiful boy. but no doctors. What can I do? I was pregnan} with my daughter. Chandra, when I "Pandit is a bachelor, he is mine." she said. "We live under the veranda, the three of us. No one bothers us.'' The three wash up at a pub- lic hydrant before dusk, when the streets are empty, and cook their meals beneath the an Oil t a of town Honored guests ai a recenl preferential lea held by Tan Chapter. Beta Sigma Phi. were Mrs. Rae Hogg. Mrs. He'en Holt. Mrs. Ingrid Berg and Sirs. Judv Williams. FOOTNOTES by JOE snots from ,Of 5, SHOE FASHIONS FOR EVERYONE' AiSO A SRECTION OF HANDBAGS FOR ANY OCCASION 9 p.n-i GREEN'S SHOES DOWNTOWN ON SIXTH EATON'S EATON'S Has More For Easter In CHILDREN'S CLOTHING SIMPSONS bears Great Cape-ers Reg. 10.93 3" MOU8S doiiy 30 n m S 30 p m Ttoort 9 30 a "i to 9 00 p m Moll, T'lpphtm. 376.9231 Jif Vnil tt f1 ;