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Hutchinson News (Newspaper) - September 23, 1890, Hutchinson, Kansas 2 UUTOHINSON DAILY NEWS: TUESDAY MOBNING. SEPTEMBER 23.1*90. ! H. W. Willett is nowfshowing the largest and Most Complete Line of Furniture in) the city, having Consolidated his large stock with that of C. W. Bittman, consisting oj . Furniture, Carpets, Draperies and Shades, Making a stock far superior to that of any ever offered in the city. Low Prices, Good Goods and CourteouSjTreat-ment is assured to all. H. WHiLEST 1% No 12 North Main Street, Next Door to the Grand. iDg & Paoer Co. 19 aad.21 East Sherman Street, GKEAT MEN'S ILLUSIONS. CEAN SWIFT SAID ALL MEN MAD IN SOME DEGREE. ARE KiIiiioii'B Which 0 of them to equal in magnitude a single lmir. The ily spider it is known lays an egg as large as itself. fixing pump. TiO cents; for knowing how, $25.1 Had he charged me JM.fiO for fixing the pump 1 should have considered it exorbitant. But fifty" cents was reasonable and I recognize the valuo of knowledge; so 1 paid and said nothing." -Brooklyn Kugle. At tho Bnvln^s Bunk. In the long procession that passes before the cashier of a savings bank are many odd characters. The man behind the counter does not receivo the deposits, little and great, without retaining also a gt'�)d many amusing recollections. The uther day n pleasant faced woman hnmied her book to tho cashier in a Boston savings bank, and said, with a good, deal ot what tho French call em-prfMUIAnt, "Next week I wish to draw th/MEiuionut of my deposit." 'A'eV^tdl, madam," answered the '^hK-ts'lpottng at tho book. *1I Ihovjflfit I would mention it today, nntfyuSlit would not cause any incon-vera�ri|e." she continued, with a bright "Tfcink yon very much," replied tho cashier. "Como iu any time next'week and you shall have it. Orj'ou can draw it today if you like. Wo have the amount on hand," and ho smiled upon his customer as if he took a personal interest iu her plans, "No, 1 will come in next Wednesday, thank you," and she tripped happily away with her precious book. Tho "full amount of her dojtosit" was J10.00. Not long ago an Irishman explained to the cashier that he wished to draw a rertain amount from the deposit of a friend, whose book hp presented. "Very well," said the cashier, handing him a printed blank. "You must have y. r friend sign this order. Let him put his name here, and write 'Pay to Bearer' here, and we will give you tho money." Not many hours later Mr. Riley appeared again. He pointed to his friend's name prormrly signed to the order, aud also an inscription after the printed words, "pay to-." 'I dou't kuow what ye wanted that name there for," he said, "but I wrote it in as ye told me." The "iiamn" he had written in was Pater Barrer." There being no rule of the bank against phonetic spelling, Mr. Riley received his money forthwith.-Youth's Companion. "Thi: art of eating a peach" is, it appears, one of tho questious of the day. According to one authority on tho etiquette of (he dinner tablo a peach should be picked witli the fork, quartered, peeled and eaten piecemeal. But as so much manipulation would evidently leave all the juice of the fruit on tho plate this method, to be palatable, requires the courage of the young lady in the story who, at her first appearance at a dinner party, raised her dessert plate with her two hands aud calmly drank the sweet juice of the nectarines. The French rule of eating peaches will, therefore, be accepted with much favor, aud that rule is, "D'y mordro a pleines dents."-Pall Mall Budget, wnen tliey knowingly aud deliberately invest bad or incompetent men with official power.- Farmers' Friend. Mltk.Thcui flimsy. Governor Merrinm, of Minnesota, has been renominut"d, aud ho very frankly says that exeepi for the Fanners'Alliance movement he would bo absolutely certain of ro-o!he agricultural element. Tho next session will be held iu this city in January next -Special to Cincinnati Enquirer. Known lazy mendicants, named Garnet and DosmareU. They had enacted the same dodge successfully in tho Ruo Saint Honore during the forenoon, tho opilep-tic and his colleague on that occasion fleecing the charitable to tho extent of 8s. The chemist's assistant who relieved tho pretended sufferer in tho Ruo Saint Honore happened to pass tho Louvre while his second performance was going on. Suspectiug a fraud, ho told the police. Hence their arrest.- Paris Cor. London Telegraph. Fell Asulimt lugallK' Skfilt'tim. I used to kuow Ingalls years ago. Ho was thinner then than he is now aud looked just about tho same. Ho lived in Atchison, and bad the reputation of being possessed of more brain and less flesh than any other adult in Kansas. Une,day he went up to the office of a friend of his, a doctor, and while he was in there a newsboy dashed in. Now the kids who sold papers around Atchison iu thoso days were* the noisiest I ever heard, and the doctor's assistant, a cheerful young student, was always on the alert to shut some of them up and to prevent them from invading the privacy of his room with their stamping feet and ear piercing yells of "S'n Louay papers." The assistant had seen this particular boy as he entered the building, and in an instant hud pln.'ed inside the doorway of the office a full grown skeleton. When the youngster threw tho door open, and was midway through one of his decluinations, tho skeleton fell over on him. With a shriek that was worse even than his regular street cry the boy rolled down one flight .of stairs and tumbled into tho street, aud his mnrmuriugs continued right straight along. "You've scared that boy to his death!' exclaimed tho budding senator, who was overflowing with indignation. Then he went to the window, and tending out called to tho grimy but pallid faced victim: "Como back here, boy; I'll buy some of your papers. Ho shan't hurt yon." Tho response was instantaneous. Tho boy's sobs ceased, and ho shouted: "No, you don't! You can't fool me if you have put your clothes on."-Interview in Washington Star. Th� Ynlii** at KnuwleilKe. A Brooklyn manufacturer paid tv bill without a murmur tho other day, sim ply on account of the way it was word ed. His engineer found that the hot water pump would not work and sent for a machinist. Tho latter bothered with it half a day and said it must como apart. This meant a stoppage of the factory for a long time. It was Btiggestod that a neighboring engineer be sent for, as he was a sort of genius in the matter of machinery. He came, and uf tor study ing tho pump a while he took u hammer and gave three sharp raps over tho valve, "I reckon sho'll go now," ho quietly said, and putting on steam "she" did go, "Tho next day," says the manufacturer, "I received a hill from him for $35.50. Tho price ilmazed me, but when I had examined tho items 1 drew a check at once. The bill read this way: 'Messrs. Blank & Co.. Dr. to John Kmitb-For Latter from n NVhrtiHkn Farmer's Wife Which Should A-miiibo Thought. One well established fact is worth n thousand speculative theories in support of any proposition, and that must serve as an excuse for the publication of correspondence which was not written for publication. It has been freely stated that the western farmers are poor because they are improvident, that they are in debt because they bought laud they could not pay for, and that really the complaint of poverty is without foundation in fact. But hero is a case right at our doors which proves tho fallacy of all such arguments, and shows that the condition of tho fanuer is not what it should be, nor what he is entitled to from his investment of capital and his intelligent labor. Nor is this case an isolated one, hut is only the illustration of the actual condition of the agriculturist throughout the western country. The writer of tliis particular letter now quoted is an educated, intelligent woman, t)io mother of four children and tho wife of a farmer ownii'.g 100 acres of first class land, w-jll improved and well stocked, situated within a mile of a railroad station and less than fifty miles from Omaha. The farm, cattle, improvements and implements are all paid for and there is no mortgage. It certainly would seem as though a person thus favorably situated should be able to make a living. But the correspondence reveals a different story. It iB the fanner's wife who writes, and she says: 'We threshed this week, havo a nice hit of wheat, but B, wants to sell it, at he is paying 12 per cent, in the bank for every cent that ho handles. I don't handle any. I wanted to have kept enough wheat for our trade, but B. thinks it better to sell and stop interest. If 1 get strong enough I want to help B. to husk tho corn this fall, so we won't have to hire a man. We havo no man now, and B. and tho boys want to put up the hay alone. The boys work like little men. I don't know how wo can spare them when school starts. We have no potatoes. Wo planted twice, but they were no good, and B. plowed them up both times. We havo some sweet potatoes, but there is a little auimal called a mole seems to be taking them all. 1 have not sold any butter for a long time, though wo have seven cows. It has been from three to fivo cents at the store. As we have no [wtatoes nor cabbuges we will have to put down a lot of green corn. Since wo are alone we are living almost on com meal, oat meal and green corn, and as I am weak I suppose it does not agree with me. But B. frets, so I don't Bay onything as long as I can help it." This farmer works early and late, does not drink, and rarely leaves his home except ob Sunday for church, and this letter, never meant to see the light of publication, shows the result of his labors. There is a failure sotuowhere iu our system or such things could not bo. The American farmer of old was the most independent creature on earth, and now he is fast degenerating into a state of serfdom and slavery. Something has to bo done, and done quickly, or wo shall fall upon evil times. - Omaha World-Herald. Te\m Alliance. The resolutions adopted by tho Texas Fanners' Alliance convention ask congressmen to mitke laws preserving the public domain for American colonization only; that laws, both state and national, lie passed to regulate transportation for the benefit of the people, and for unlimited coin;igo of gold and silver to be supplemented by a snfiicient volume of treasury notes, to supply the country without the intervention of national banks; also asking tho stato legislature to specially amend the land law so as to open up the western parts of tlio state for actr.rl *aUJ.*r*- A CLEVER TRICK EXPOSED. Honest, No man can pursuo an honest policy for a long course of years without gaining a reputation moro to bo valued than greot riches. It does one good, heart and soul, to remember that thero are men who are like Pinal's of fire by night to more wavering consciences, men who can reject a bribo with tho haughtiness duo an insult. The lato W. H. Y. Hack-ett, of Portsmouth, was an exceptionally honest man, one of those lawyers who, like Abraham Lincoln, would not undertake a case1 which did not seem to him a just one, and wherever he was known hiB influence over a jury was naturally great. One day, after tho termination of a certain case, Mr. Hackett met an old farjner who had been ono of the jury and who felt that too much time had been consumed in reaching a verdict. "The fact is, squire," he said, "we shouldn't ha' been so long n-givin' you that case, but somehow or other there happened to be a couple o' men on thero who didn't know you ut all. Waal, the rest of us, we just told 'em what kind of A man wo kuowed Squire Hackett to be. An' we kind of insisted upon it that we could depend exactly on what you said. An' so, after that, wo all came round together."-Youth's Companion. T0B PRINTIN Book Making Book Bindins Business High to SPECIALTIES II THE BOOK DEPABTMEN1. Journals. Ledgers, Balance Books, Minor Abstract Books, Blank Books of all kinks, Land Examiner's Books JLoan Registers, County Records, Manilla Copy Books, Ward Registration Books, White Paper Copy Books, Scale BookB a specialty Real Estate Contract Books. Attorney's Collection Registers. Priced Suits That Aro Maile Show and Not to lie Sold. I have noticed in the windows of a certain ready made clothing establishment that advertises liberally and well, and works tho bargain sal* racket upon a scale of fairness well out of the beaten nit, upon several occasions one or moro overcoats or suits of clothes made up in distinctly custom made material, and finished with all the laborious care that is bestowed upon the high class made to order garment. I liavo out of curiosity frequently gone into this store on rush days to note the quality of tho goods offered for tho money, and it must be said that the prices quoted were generally uway down Mow the rock bottom cost of manufacture. Inside the store I oncounter several more of these handsomely made suits. I even went so far upon one occasion us to try on one of tho coats thereof, but it did not fit, and tho obliging clerk informed mo that they were all sold out of my size. The price quoted was $12, and as a matter of fact such a Bnit could not have been manufactured for double that sum. Tho size was a small one-3-1 chest, and while I lingered for further information a small aud slender mun came along looking over the counters. Ho picked up the fine suit and I awaited developments. He asked the price, felt tho cloth and tried it on. The man was of a peculiar shape, and to the horror of tho clerk it fitted him exactly. "Let me show you something else." "No," was the decisive answer; "I will take this," and the twelve dollars was counted out. When he left the store withh is prize there was "wailing aud gnashing of teeth." "Could you not see he was a bad shape and it might fit hiin'r" queried the manager. "Well, I thought they were made," answered the clerk, "so that they wouldn't fit anybody." The secret was out. And a clever catch trade device it is. I remember distinctly the seraphic smile of the little lop sided man us he strode out of the door iu that, on him, perfact fitting gray cassimore ton strike. The decoy suit that will not fit anybody is tho latest trick of the trade, and its projector is certainly a genius in his way.-Clothier and Fumisher\ CHud to Kee tho Census Man. One happy census enumerator has been heard of. He had threo towns in Baker county for his field of operations. He says be expected to be well treated, but such unbounded hospitality as met him every where was a complete surprise. He bought a poor horse to commence with, and at the close of his work tho horse was fat, and it cost him only ten cents for himself and animal for the month he was at work. When he went into a settlement tho neighbors were all called in. Thus his labor was very much lightened, and not a man even hesitated in answering a single question -Florida Letter. The poet Swinburne is a little mat: with a big head, which is fringed with unburn hair. He is quick aud nervous In his movements and a very brilliau talker. He is a bachelor. RAILWAY BREVITIES. John W. Mackny Is a director of the Canadian Pacific railway. The Brotherhood of Locomotive Firemen will endeavor to erect a homo for old nnd disabled members of its order. The United States court of Ohio bus sustained the action of the Baltimore and Ohio in making party and theatrical rati The net income of railroads in tie: t'nit.'d States during the- year wus fJ.l'*n.HHl, 428. The gross earnings were ?,%�!,Kir,,v The passenger earnings of railronds i the United States during 18S9 increased .01 percent, and frelghtcaruiu^sdecreiised .r,:l per cent. The rage for paper ear wheels is said to be on the wane, for the alleged rensou that an iron wheel 1-sts longer aud can be bought for one-sixth tho price of a paper wheel. John Y. Smith, the inventor of the vac uum brake, commenced his railroad apprenticeship at tho ogo of 7 j-ears iu tho shops of the great inventor, George Stephenson. The Springfield Republican sujs that moro than half tho railroad mileage in tho United States is operated by about twenty five companies. The Atchison system is the greatest with 8,330. A number of wealthy "commuters" < Joy tho luxury of an $18,000 private car especially built for their daily rido of fifty miles beUveen New York and Plainfleld, X. J., on the Jersey Central railroad. J. J. Tilford, nn employe of the Louis ville, St. Louis and Texas railroad, dreamed recently at Huwesvlllo that a eertall: switch was open. Upon waking ho luund the- dream was exact iu every particular, Ho changed the switch just before a fast train passed. Ills Self Inlllcted. It iB curious to note how fow of the ills of which people complain are not self inflicted. 'We havo bad laws because we elected bad men to legislative offices; publio moneys are wrongfully appropriated because we elected scheming, incompetent and dishonest men to positions of trust: tuxes aro made oppressive and burdensome because of the extravagance of pubjio officials whom we havo placed in power. We know these things, complain of them, and indeed do almost everything but exorcise common prudenco, caution and foresight when we go to the polls to vote. The roan who lays his hand on a stone and purposely hits it with a hammer ought not to complain of the pain; so neither should people complain of bad laws and the misappropriation of public mouevs Two Ingeuioui, Paupers Caught. Sympathetic spectators gathered one afternoon around a young man who fell down in front of the Louvre in what appeared to be an epileptic seizure. One of the bystanders stepped forward and proposed to carry tho invalid to � chemist's shop not far off, and another offered to assist. Tho one who spoke first took up the epileptic's hat, and throwing sixpence into it said to the crowd, "I am u jioor man myself, but if each ono of you did as I do this unfortunate creature would have something to help to relieve his sufferings." Impelled by this generous example the crowd showered copners and small silver into the hat until over ten shillings was collected. Great was their astoniBhment when two constables walked up and selied both tho benevolent originntor of the uluiB collection and tho epileptic Btiffer-er. The latter, as soon as he opened his eyes-and saw the policeman, forgot that lie was an invalid and attempted to escape. Tiny were both t uken to the lockup, and, were identi'-t as two w�U A twin watermelon grown by W. A. Jordan, of Johnstou county, N. C, welgl; fifty pounds, and consists of two oblong, brownish green melons, joined by a sort Siamese twin liguture or extension, from which the melons divergo slightly. A shepherd dog foil into a dry well Oglethorpu county, Go. A man procure a rope long enough to reach tho bottom the well, and lowering It was surprised see the dog grasp tho end firmly in his mouth and hold on until he was drawn the top. In tho forests of Washington and British C'olumblu trees are seen dripping copiously during clear, bright days, when no dew is visible elsewhere, Tho dripping la so profuse that tho ground undernoatb is almost suturatod. The phenomenon In this case U caused by the remarkable condensing power of tlio leaves of tho fir. DOES A GENERAL The above is only a partial list of the goods we carry and the work we are prepared to execute promptly "We are making a specialty of ^ Magazine Book Binding! and we bind Magazines and Law Books in all styles and at lowest prices. We wish the public to understand that we are ready and prepared to execute any kind of Printing or Book Work! Have ptock forms, but can-make special forms to' order. We guarantee all work and solicit patronage. Mail Orders Receive Prompt Attention. Address, NEWS PRINTING AND PAPER GO. Hutchinson, Kas. CUBES ANY HEADACHE) "While You Wait," BUT CURES NOTHING ELSE. "he Hutchinson iron Works J. M. THOMSON, Prop. rSTQlATES FURNISHED FOR &L BIDS MINGS The bite Lord Carnarvon, who eulted the recently published "letters of Philip Dormer, Fourth Earl of Chesterfield, to His Godson and Successor," was born June 34, 1881, and was educated at Eton and nt Christ church, Oxi'ord. Politician, philanthropist and seholor, lie u-;u* besides an author, and published a poetical transluiion of the "Agamcuiaon of /Eschylus" and also of tho "Odysniv." Columns, LinUU, Glrdfri, I BwaihtBuh WtigM*. Hou��: Front. WW-Architectural Itoa Work t ipeololty. taglnei, Bfwun IPnmp* and til) Ol&ues Machinery Repaired. Bnthjiaction guiranteedj Give me ft call. Office and Works, Booth Hutohinson. Telephone 186 ;