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Hutchinson News (Newspaper) - December 14, 1890, Hutchinson, Kansas 2 HUTCHINSON DAILY NEWS: SUNDAY MORNINGDECEMBER 14, 1890. A STATEUY SHOPLIFTER. ...j *fh*i �.inlv�rtmiitft MnritA nt n W�mHh*f IVonmn or N�w York. Shopper*) who frtiqiif-iitly visit tho Inrijn store on Sixth avniiuc, Now York, often hcii ft stately woman with nil In-U'llcotnal face liovorinjj ovor tho conn-tors as if tmalilo to tour liorsolf away. If thoy look sharply tlioy may soo tho uMpndnnta cnnting uneasy ami .suspicions (fiances in hor dirontion. That woman is a romarkablo unit In tho sum of our population. Hor lntnlloctiinl l'aco does not hollo hor. Nlio caii put meaning into tho ni*xtxo.iii.*� hi*,v'* unearth their skeletons make haste to help eoneoal then; oft'iin. la this case tho skeleton., wbleh had "il-way^ hreii loclted in the li*. of this class, rind never obtained Iron; any but tho .Sixth Avenue stores, Ample reparation, was uiado to .the merchants, as they had counted upon, and the affair was kept from all tho world, including tho guilty ono hoi'KoH, the highest authorities in such cases advising the latter measure. This, too, was very kind r�nd considerate of the fooling of a rich fnml>y, you know. A* to the subject of this excessive kindliness you would nov�r mispeot, when liHtenlng* to hor brilliant, conversation, or -Kiohiff her dispense tho hospitalities of her elo-gant home, that she is a sufferer from this dreadtul form of demontia. la fact, she is not; tho real sufferer is quite another pornon. Tho kleptomaniac is always accompanied by ;i pale, lovoly girl, whoso and and hopolon:! oxprosslon is in marked contrast to tho placid content of hor own. The young K'Irl watches ovory TDOvomont of hor chargo, often with tho aonsltivo blood flooding her palo chooks, and when tho Tiiorning'n work is ovor alio stops to tho cashier's dosk and pays tor all goods purchased or othorwiso obtained. Throe yoats ago hor approaching mnrriago was announced by all tho slfvor trumpot:i of tho Four llnndrod. Whon alio 'learned, howovor, of her mother's infirmity, slio severed tho engagement, withdrew Ccom society, plothod liorsolf In the woods of mourning, and Assumed tbo guardianaklp of hor who had wrecked, unconsciously, all hor life. The lover nobly pleaded to share hor euro and rluk with hor the threatened disgrace, pleaded in yain, and became, a wanderer in foreign lands. Hocioty understood that tho lovers quarreled, and shook its wise hoad ovor thoir folly. Tho mother hoard only sooioty's version of tho affair, and waB rather proud of hor daughter's strong-minded way of bearing tho death of love and hope In hor bosom. So aho maintains hor serenity, sounds tho deopa of litoratttre, augments her skeleton's dimensions undisturbed by any rattlingof bonoB, and is totally oblivious to tho nun-like renunciation of her lovoly daughter.-N. Y. Lottor in Boston Horald. PERSONAL AND LITERARY. --Ilidor Haggard's 11 rat book was a comploto failure. It was "Calowayo, and His Whilo Noijrhbor," ile made �10 on lib second, "Dawn.'' -Sir Edward Guinoss, the big Dublin browor, is to bo raised to the poorago. Ono of tho family has already got tliore undor tho title of Lord Ardilaun. -The first ordor for tho Carnegie froa library in Pittsburgh is for 9,000 volumes, and it will require nearly six months to fill it, as books go out of print so rapidly. --Ismaol Pasha, the ox-Khodlvo of Egypt, is practically a prisoner at his residence on tho Bosporus. Tho Turkish Government roconlly rofusod him permission to go to Carlsbad to talco tho wntors for his health. -Tho Empross Frodorlck has, bo-tweon hor jointure, hor husband's fort-uno and the Duchess of Ualliora's bequest, an Income of �70,000 a year. Tho English taxpayer has had to contribute �8,000 a year to hor support for the past thlrty-throo years. -When tho Queen had read "AHco In Wonderland" aho personally sollcltod its author by letter to send hor another of his "charming books."' Thou tho droll gontloman, who is a follow of Christ Church. College, sent Her Majoa-ty bis iictttiso on the "Diilerontial Calculus." --Tho n inn hor of. volumes added to the llritish museum library last year was fia.fiOO; of these nearly 10.000 aro now books received from tho poblishfaia in pursuance of tho English copyright; �l.uUfi volumes have been prosonted, and no fewer than 17,050 acquired by pus-ohaiie. -That mysterious quality called "gift" strikingly revealed itsolf in tho childhood of the distinguished Fronoh artist, Mme. Jeanno Madollno Loraairo. As soon as the little girl could move about, a pencil was hor greatest joy, so that even at the age of fivo or six she busied herself in "making pictures." -B. h. Fnrjeon, tho popular novelist, was once a nowspapor man in Now Zealand, whoro ho was tho proprlotor of a small nowspapor. A friondly lottor from Dinkons turned him In tho direction of novol-writlng. He is married to a daughter of doo Jefferson, tho aotor, and ono of his young boys has caught tho gait and mannerisms of Rip Van Winkle from seeing bis grandfather play tho character, and is ablo to present a good Imitation of tho original. -Whenever Gladstone gets down to garden truck and talks simple things to simple pooplo tho Conservative press has fun with him. Lately ho talked to tho folk about llawardon about poultry, eggs, fruit and tamo rabbits, and showed them thoro was profit in thoir cultivation. Awhile ago ho had something to say about jam and fruit pru-sorvlng in general, whereupon ctho quantity of strawhorrios brought into Covont Qardon this season shows an Increase --The Critic says that a scholarly Philadelphia journalist writes to it to say: "Would it not bo Interesting to find If any ono writes Nowman ? Ho Is undeniably tho first stylist of tho cont-ury, but I novor moot any ono who roads him, and I do not boliovo there is an author of his rank so little road in tho libraries." Whothor Newman Is road by journalists, or widely road by any class, wo can not say, but that ho is deeply road by those qualified to appreciate him we know to be true among our own circle of acquaintance, and sus-speut to be the case generally. HUMOROUS. To Koop Ice from Molting. Thoro aro throo or four things that will holp to keep tho precious nugget of ico from molting away if the housekeeper will only remember them. One is, that tho way to keop ico warm Is tho way to keep Ico cold. A piece of ice In a pitcher, with a pale over the pltoher' and a rug over the pall, will keep all night. A piece of ico In a refrigorator, covered with a Bnug white blanltot, will ohoat tho greedy icomau every day, and suap saucy fingers at tho milk that doos not daro tq got sour or the beefsteak that daros not full. These things are admirablo in thoir way, and should bo in every hatband, but the greatest trick ot all Is newspapers. With plenty of newspapors above, bolovv and on ovory side, the way a piece of loo will keop is a Joko.-N. Y. Star, ' Native Australian Handiwork. In an article on the aborigines of Australia W. T, WymUiam spualta of .tho skill with which tho natives use stono Implomonts. 'Thoy turn out work," ho says, "that you would hardly beliovo posslblo with such rough implements. Thoy show groat ingonuity, particularly in making thoir harpoon heads for spearing* dutrong and tlah; in-utoad of shaving tho wood up and down tho grain, as a European workman would do, thoy turn tho wood for a spoar-head round and chip it off across tho grain, working It ns woodon boxes uro turned on a lathe. I havo often sat and watchod them doing this." Our Jtepututlou. The Baron-But eof you roally love, me like you say, 1 soo not of reason for that wo would not marry. Auiorican Summer Girl-Yon, 1 know; "out-it's those other two rami that I am already engaged to. Tho Baron-But they aro Americans, sit not? A. S. G-Oh, yen. Tho Baron-Ah, ;-,c cood luck -sen! tfoy are aocuutomod to it!-Life. ho WHM 11 rtlllilOltUO'. "Vos," replied Brown, "you always Uiul mo with a pou in my hand. I uai u regniar penholder, my boy!" "Lot's s;ce," said Smith, musingly-"a penholder is uatmUy olstick. isn't It',"'- N. Y. Ledger. ' \'�' -l'Vodoric Harrison,thoXtoigUsh upW llo of positivism, has frowpntod the Scotch moors for forty years/ but has never llred a shot at one of ttii\antlored beauties, that adorn tium. uV thinks ihat doer stalking anil bird-sA^oting tpugbt to ho stopped bylaw, - "That girl is from Chicago." "How can you tell?" "Why, I showod her an Egyptian pitcher and she exclaimed: 'Holy smokol Get onto tho curves,' "- N. Y. Journal. -"Pa, I'll be sorry when you get well," said a boy to bis sick parent "Why, my son?" "Because I won't get any moro empty modloino bottles to. sell."-Leisure Momonta. -Ho slxlied with hla band on bit heart Itofora hor he went on hla knees' Ho'd have uctod the truo lorer't part If fate hadn't forcod hlra to tneeae. -Harper's Bazar. -Billings-"I will tako a littlo more of that railroad soup, please," Mrs. Hashoroft-"Kallroad soup?" Billings -"Yee. More water than stock, you know."-Torre Haute Express. -"A man's got to havo plenty of sand to attempt to cross tho desert of Sahara." "Tut! You might as well flay a man must have plenty of coal it ho Watlta. to go to Newcastle."--Harper's Bazar. ( -"By George,'" said tho weary, pa tlouco-tried oassonger on a local train, to tho cbnduotor, "I guess you mon who run this train dosorvo a great deal of credit." "What for?" "For kooplng It from going backward."-Washington Post. -Tho factories of England, France, Germany and Holland produce about 77,000,000 pins dally, and a oontompo-rary asks: "Whoro do thoy all go to?" Young men w,ho aro engaged in the courting business say that a groat many ot them go to walBL-Norristown Herald. -The idea of Diana kissing Endy-lnion in his slumber," said tho Boston girl. "Would you kiss mo if I fell asleep, Mr. Harvard?" "I'm afraid I would, Miss lloans." "Well, I'd like to see you," she gently returned, removing hor spectacles. - Philadelphia Tiinea. --Merchant's Wifu (suddenly appearing in her hushand'u olllce)-"Huhl I thought you said your typewriter girl was an old maid." Merchant (much oonfusod)-"Urn-er, yes, 'm doar, of 'oourso, of course; but she is slok to-day, and she sont hor little grand-daughter as a substitute."-Philadelphia Rooord. - A Relief to Himself.-Gentleman (to Uncle Itastus, who it troubled with a barky nmle)-"Uncle Itastus,' you think kicking that mule in the stomach will mak* htm goV" Uncle Sastui-- "Da hain't nuuTn wot'! make dat mule go whfiii ho 'eludes not to, sah.. I'm only ^pltin' him fo' my own satlsfae-tigu."--Aool4e�t New* �, the 8tatk peebs. The man who has not paid tot hie shoes can't even call his sole his own.*- Hush County .News. Poetry is a hard weapon of journalistic warfare. Tho machine is liable to ex plode in the office and kill the writer.- Barton County Beaton, Good flnancerlng, never bet over your pile, never buy what you don't want, never buy a pig in the bag, and never huy what you can't pay for.-McPherson Jicpublican, Arkantas City hag a company that Bell both coal and ice. Now if they bad in that firm a man to sell fane, another to sell stoveB, there would be millions in it. -Ohanute Vidttte. It your wife doesn't want to know beforehand what you are going to give her for Cbristmap, send for the doctor. She evidently doesn't expect to live until then.-Arkalon News. Eight churches have been dedicated in A wemun with a cancorous ulcer of years' standing and five inches in diameter has boon entirely relieved by six bottles of Swiff 8 Specific. I consider its effects wonderful, almost miraculous, Bbv. j. H. Caxi-mli^ Columbus, Ga. Will Cure A young man near this town had an eating cancer on his face, whloh had destroyed his nose and was eating towards his oyos. As a last resort I put him on Swift's Specific, and it has cured him entirely Bound and wolL Db. M. F. Cbumlet, Oglethorpe, Ga. Skin Cancer Treatise on Cancer mailed free. Swift Spcclflo Co., Atlanta, Ga. A. J. LtisK, president. .Tows Chapman, Vice-President. O. H. Mknkk, Cashier HUTCHINSON NATIONAL BANK, HUTCHINSON, KANf-AS. OLDEST NATIONAL BANK IN. HTTJCHINSON Organized June 10, 1881. Capital Stock, Paid up, SI 00,000.00 evangelists, with whom he has had nnny consultations have prevailed upon him to make a tour of the country and address revival gatherings,giving hiB experience ao a burglar, and telling of how he became oonverted. The two Samuels, lonea and Snjall, may look to their laurels.-Newton Kansan. For Iho first time Blnee the war tariff of 1801, Jerry Simpaon will hang up hiB Elicit next ChriBtnias eve.-Tcpeha Capital. Tho day after the editor of tho Law-nco Journal got marrir-.d the leadii!*.*: editorial was a poem entitled "My Darling."-Abilene Reflector. " Financial fatigue " is a now word in stock exchange parlance. His an illness following in the wake of unfortunate investments.-Parsona Sun, "Tiddledy Winks" ilea struck Lawrence, ltia a much moro intellectual and ei.'iiobling divartisment lhan pige in the clover.-Kansna City Star. December has locked horns with' Juno on the weather question, and present indications lend ua to believe that June is on top.-Jetmoro Sunflower. . A broken heart, in oonjunctieu "witn three teaspoonfula ot Rough on Rats, was what caused the death of a young lady at St. Paul on Friday.-Salina Republican. An exchange wants to know it a man can be a politician and a good christian at the same time. The question can not be answered. No one has ever tried it,- Lawrence Journal. A RuBGlan has invented a fireproof paste. If he will just invent a ratproof puBte he will earn the undying gratitude of the newspaper fraternity.-Arkansas City 1'raneler. "Honest Billy Woodruff," state treasur er of Arkonsae, joins the long list of do-faulting Democratic state treasurers and comes up with a shortage of $67,000. Next!-Stafford Republican. Euper.n War.* fays he hnniot fully madeiui :iir. mind f> leave KiriR", but wtl! tr.Uea ftyv months to Btuoy about it. That settles it. When p man stops to think what he is leaving behind htm he alwaj'B ^iv.ya in Kansas.-- KanixB City Timrs. Surplus f20,000.00.DAuthorlzed Capital, 1300,000.00. Will do a general Banking Business. JBuyfand eell Doniefitic and Foreign Exchange, Collections promptly made and remitted for on date of payment. Dihectohb-Geo. C. Updegraff, A. j.Lush, O. EC. Meakc, John Chapman, O. B. Winslow. . CAPITAL, #50,000 SUP PLUS. *?m.?W)6>t THE FIRST BANK IN RENO COUNT jThe First National Bank, -Of--- HUTCHINSON, KANSAS. & WrOtMPBELL, LA. BIGGER, VHa-Pnnatnm. ILL W. T. ATKINSON, President, JOHN HALL, Vioe-r'mi.rten ft. G. HOLLIBTKR, Cashier, ITIONAL BANK Capital SI00.000, F GOMMERI Surplus $7,000 QITY AND^SCHOOL DI-BTRJOT DEPOSITOR * F�'.*roar�Ke solicited on u liberal terms t$ �re consistent with ssf  *ad conservative banking. No. 200 NORTH MAIN ST.. OPPOSITE MIDLAND M\k. James St. John. A. W. McCandless ronctwnl vflfu on the Ai>pluni6. "During the heat of the political campaign tbey call nr. mo for a speech at West Oakland," Raid Justice Charles K Snook to a Pin Francisco Examiner man. "I don't takii very kindly to politioal speech making and wns especially tinv orous about making an address in the First ward, where everybody knows me and where, in consequence, I would be sure ot the severest criticism. But I vas in for it, and set about preparing myself for the ordeal. After I had thought out an adilrens which I imagined had cnmifh hurrah, in it to make the bcya hit ibtt llinr, I thought l.M try it on mj wife. So 1 plnced-er l*i cgood seatinl>ie front in -. of our parlor turniture, Btruck my inoa'. Bt'ittiimanllkufttiitwif- and un-limbered my mtmthpiecn. Finally I rent-lied imoof my must impressivo pa-ri.iiis end caran to a full stop a good deal out