Freeborn County Standard (Newspaper) - June 17, 1896, Albert Lea, MinnesotaTHOUGHTS AT EVE.
When the flickering firelights flaming
shadows* on the wall do cast,
Memory comes to hold and haunt me with the memories of the past.
And my heavy heart turns backward, though the years have onward rolled. To the happy time of childhood, to the youthful days of old.
Early scenes and early pleasures now are pictured to my eyes;
Deeds and words of playmates distant thronging round my heart will rise.
Now I hear their childish laughter ring ■within ancestral halls.
And their hurrying footsteps loudly sound within the ancient halls.
For in kindness now the distance answers to my longing sigh,
When I think of what to-day is and the days that have gone by.
For in fancy now I listen to those tales in
Feats of valor done in battle, done by warriors strong and bold.
our souls were little doubting the stories they were true,
And our throbbing hearts would echo every deed our hero'd do.
Then our lives were full of gladness, never came a thought of sorrow'
With the anguish of to-day, with the pain that comes to-morrow.
Life is but a struggle, ceaseless; nothing comes to him who’ll wait;
Who will thrive must battle ever against the crushing hand of fate.
Man is but her plaything lightest, that she gives no heavy thought.
Though ’tis said for some wise purpose mankind in the world was brought.
This the lesson man is learning, that the coming years will teach;
All with weary effort striving for the things beyond their reach.
This we know not, nor our childish hearts had learned,
That to fame and fortune highest ever would our souls be turned;
Tin we sicken in the struggle of the neverending strife.
And we long but for one moment of our happy childhood life.
Thus my thoughts are backward turning when tile dying day is dead.
When the dreary shadow's gather and the wings of night are spread.
And I gaze into the darkness, gaze so
blankly out my door,
Eerie shadow's round me stealing faintly fall upon the floor.
—5\ infield Spiers, in Philadelphia Press.
POLITICS ANI) FISH.
BY JOHN BUCHAN.
HE farmer of
Claehlands was a tory, stern and unbending. It was tile tradition of his fumily, from his grandfather, who had been land steward to Lord Manorwater, down to his father, who had once seconded a vote of confidence in the sitting member. Such tra-ciitions, he felt, were not to be lightly despised; things might change, empires might w ax and wane, but his obligation continued; a sort of perverted noblesse oblige was the farmer’s watchword in life; and, by dint of much energy and had language, he lived up to it.
As fate would have it, the Claehlands plowman was a radical of radicals. He had imbibed his opinions curly in life from a speaker on tile green of Mart*litho rn, and ever since, by the help of a weekly penny paper and an odd volume of Gladstone's speech, had continued his education. Such opinions in a conservative country side carry with them a reputation for either abnormal cleverness or abnormal folly. The fact that ho was a keen fisher, a famed singer of songs, and the best judge of horses in the place, caused the verdict of his neighbors to incline to the former, and he passed for something of an oracle among his fellows. Tho blacksmith, \v ho was the critic of the neighborhood, summed up his character in a few words: “Him,” said he in a tone of mingled dislike and admiration, “him! He would sweer white was black the morn, £md dod! he would prove it toe.”
It so happened in the early summer, when the land was green, and the trout, ^plashed in the river, that her majesty’s government saw- fit to appeal to an intelligent country. Among a people Kvhose politics tight hard with their religion for a monopoly of their Interests,
‘TLL STAND UP FOK TUE THAU MEN.”
feeling ran high and brotherly kindness departed. Houses w ere divided against themselves. Men formerly of no consideration found themselves suddenly important, and discovered that their intellects and conscience, which they had hitherto valued at little, were tilings of serious interest to their betters. The lurid light of publicity was shed upon the lives of the rival candidates; men formerly accounted worthy end respectable were proved no better than whited sepulchers, and each man was filled with a morbid concern for his fellow's character and beliefs.
The farmer of Claehlands called a meeting of his laborers in the great dusty barn, which had been tile scene of many similar gatherings. His speech on the occasion was vigorous and to the point: “Ye are a* my men,” he said,
‘ an’ Til see that ye vote richt, Ye’re uneddieated folk, and ken naething aboot the matter, sae ye just tak’ my word for’!, that the tories are iii the
better to pleesure me, than a wheen leein’ scoondrels wliae tramp the country wi’ leather bags and printit trash.” Then arose from the back the plowman, strong in his convictions: “Listen to me, ye men,” says he: “just vote as ye think best. The maistcr’s a guid ^mister, as he says, but lie's noeht to dae w'i’ your votin’. Ifs what they ca’ inteemedation to interfere wi* onybody iii this matter. So mind that, an* vote for the workin’man an’ his riehts.” Then ensued a w ar of violent words.
“Is this a meetin’ in my barn, or a penny-waddin* ?”
“Ca’t w hat ye please. I canna let ye mislead the men.”
“Whae talks about misleading Is’t misleadin’ to lead them richt?”
“The question,” said the plowman, solemnly, “it what you ca’ richt.” “William Laverhope, if ye werena a guid plooman, ye wad gang post-haste oot o’ here the morn.”
“I carena what ye say. Til stand up for the richts of thae men.”
“Men,” this with deep scorn. “I could male better men than thae wi* a stick oot o’ the plantin’.”
“Ay, ye say that noo, an’ the morn ye’ll be ca’in’ ilka yin o’ them mister, a’ for their votes.”
The farmer left in dignified disgust, vanquished, but still dangerous; the plowman in triumph mingled with despair. For he knew' that his fellow-laborers cared not a whit for politics, but w'ould follow' to the letter their master’s bidding.
The next morning rose clear and fine. There had been a great rain for the past few days, and the burns were coining down broad and surely. The Claehlands water w as chafing by bank and bridge and threatening to enter the hny-field, and every little ditch and sheep-drain was carrying its tribute of peaty water to the greater flood. The farmer of Claehlands, as he looked over The landscape from tho doorstep of his dwelling, marked the state of the weather and pondered over it.
Ile was not in a pleasant state of mind that morning. He had been crossed by a plowman, his servant. He liked the man, and so the obvious way of dealing with him—by making things uncomfortable or turning him off—was shut against him. But he burned to get the upper hand of him, and discomfit once for all one w ho had dared to question his wisdom and good sense. If only ho could get him to vote on the other side—but that was out of the question. If only he could keep him from voting—that was possible but unlikely. He might forcibly detain him, in which case he would lay himself open to the penalties of the law. and be nothing the gainer. For the victory which he desired was a moral one, not a triumph of force. He would like to circumvent him by cleverness, to score against him fairly and honorably on his own ground. But the thing was hard, and. as it seemed to him at the moment, impossible.
Suddenly, as he looked over the morning landscape, a thought struck him and made him slap his legs .and chuckle hugely. lie walked quickly up and down the graveled walk. “I»sh, it’s guid. IMI dae’t. IMI dae’t, if the weather juist bauds.”
His unseemly mirth was cheeked by the approach of some one who found the farmer engaged in the minute examination of gooseberry leaves. “I’m concerned aboot thae busses,” he was saying; “they’ve been ill iockit to, an’ we’ll no hae half a crop.” And he went off, still smiling, and spent a restless forenoon in the Marchthorn market.
In the evening he met the plowman, as he returned from the turnip-singling, with his hoe on his shoulder. The two men looked at one another with the air of those who knew that all is not well between them. Then the farmer spoke with much humility.
“I maybe spoke rayther severe yestreen,” he said. “I hope I did na hurt your feelings.”
“Na, na! No me!” said the plowman, airily.
“Because I’ve been thinking ewer the limbier, an* I admit that a man has a licht to his ain thochts. A’body should hae principles an’ stick to them,” said the farmer, with the manner of one making a recondite quotation.
“Ay,” he went on, “J resjject ye, William, for your consistency. Ye’re an example to us a’.”
The other shuffled and looked unhappy. He and his master were on the best of terms, but these unnecessary compliments were not usual in their intercourse. He began to suspect, and the farmer, w ho saw his mistake, hastened to change the subject.
“Graund weather for the fishin’,” said he.
“Oh, is it no?” said the other, roused to excited interest by this home topic. “I tell ye bv the morn they’ll be tak in' as they’ve never ta’en this ’ear. Doon in the big pool in the Claehlands water, at the turn o’ the turnip-field, there are twae or three pounders and nibilinsyin o’ twae pond. I saw them mysel’ when the water was low. It’s ower big the noo, but when it gangs doon the morn, and gets the color o’ porter, Tse w arrant I could w hup them oot o’ there wi’ the flee.’
“D’ye say sae,” said the farmer, sweetly. “Wed, it’s a lang time since I tried the fishin*, but I yince was keen on’t. Come in bye, William; I’ve something ye micht like to see.”
From a corner h^producod a rod, and handed it to the oilier. It was a very fine rod indeed, one which The owner had gained in a fishing competition many years before, and treasured accordingly*. The plowman examined it long and critically. Then he gave his verdict. “It’s the brawest roil I ever saw, wi* a fine hickory butt, an’ guid greenliert tap and middle. It wild cast the sma’est flee, and haud the biggest troot.”
“Week” said the farmer, genially smiling, “ye hove a half-holiday the morn w hen ye gang to the poll. There’ll be plenty o’ time in the evening to try a cast vvi’t. I’ll lend it ye for Cue day.” The man’s face brightened. “I wad tak it verra kindly,” he said, “if ye wad. My ain yin is no muckle worth, and, as \ e say, IMI hae time for a cast the mom’s nicht.”
“Diana mention it. Did I ever let ye see my Hee book? Here it is,” and he produced a thick flannel book from a drawer. “There’s a maist miscellaneous collection, for a’ w aters an’ a weathers. I got a heap o’ them frae auld Lord Manorwater, when I was a laddie, and used to carry his basket.”
But the plowman heeded him not, being deep in the examination of the mysteries. A ery gingerly he handled the tiny spiders and hackles, surveying
“If there’s anything there ye think at a’ like the water, I’ll be verra pleased if ye’ll try’t.”
The other was somewhat put out by this extreme friendliness. At another time he w’ould have refused shamefacedly, but now the love of sport was in him. “Ye’re far ower guid,” he said; “Thae twae paitrick wings are the verra things I want, an’ I dinna think I’ve oily at hanie. I’m awfu’ gratefu’ to ye, an’ I’ll bring them back the morn’s nicht.” “Guid-e’en,” said the farmer, as he opened the door, “an* I wish ye Jj$y hae a guid catch.” And he turned fin again, smiling sardonically.
The next morning was like the last, save that a little wind had risen, which blew' freshly from the weet. White cloudlets drifted across the blue, and the air w'as as clear os spring water. Down in the hollow the louring torrent had sunk to a full, lipping stream, and the color had changed from a turbid yellow to a clear, delicate brown. In the town of Marchthorn, it w'as a day of wild excitement, and the quiet Claehlands road bustled with horses and men. The laborers in the fields scarce stopped to look at th'* passers, for in the afternoon they too would have their chance, when they might journey to the town in all importance, and record their opinions of the late government.
The plowman of Claehlands spent a troubled forenoon. His nightly dreams had been of landing great fish, and now his waking thoughts were of the same. Politics for the time were forgotten. This was the day to which he had looked forward for so long, when he was to have been busied in deciding doubtful voters, and breathing activity into the ranks of his cause. And lo! the day had come and found his
BUILDING AND SCIENCE.
of a Residence Conveniently ranged and Neat in Benign.
[Written for Thin Paper.]
The home, here illustrated, contains eight rooms, is conveniently planned, neatly designed and can be erected for c>3,000. The size of reception hall is Ox IO feet 0 Inches; parlor, 13 feet 6 inches by 15 feet; sitting-room, 12x20; diningroom, 12x10; kitchen, 13x14; chandlers, 13 feet 6 inches by 15 feet, 12x12, 12x13 feet 6 inches, and 8 feet 0 inches by 12 feet; vestibule, 4x5 feet 6 inches; pantry, 5 feet 6 inches by 8 feet 6 inches; bathroom,6x9; alcove,6x7 feet6inches; balcony, 4x6 feet 6 inches; veranda, 6
BLEACHING WITH OZONE.
An Industrial Experiment in Germany That Promises Well.
When a woman lays a piece of unbleached sheeting out in the sunlight on the grass to extract aH traces of color from it she occasionally wet* it. Scientific investigation shows that in the presence of evaporating moisture and solar-radiance the oxygen gas of the air is converted into ozone, and that it is the ozone which bleaches. In fact, ozone ia the most powerful bleaching agent known. Hence, a great many elaliorate experiments have been undertaken with a view to the cheap production of this gas, so that man might imitate nature, on a larger scale and more rapidly than in the award ay*-
Floorwalker—Did Mrs. Upton buy that last piece of organdie?
Salesw oman — No, Mrs. Down ton bought it.
Floorwalker— Why, I thought I heard her say before Mrs. Upton came in that she didn’t like it.
Saleswoman—She did say so.
Floorwalker—Then why did she take it?
Saleswoman — Because Mrs. Upton wanted it.—Chicago Record.
In the Far Sooth went.
Mr*. Colt (wife of Col. Colt, of Texas) -As I w as going by Turner’s this morning, John, I heard Jim Bluff soy that if justice had its due you’d have adorned a telegraph pole long ago.
Col. Colt (springing up from the dinner table)—Jim Bluff, you say? Let
Wife—Now, John, please finish your/i dinner. The shooting will keen.—Bay 1 City Chat.
Hits banda to Born.
The English actors who come oner here are intensely English when they first arrive, but they soon show their appreciation of American colloquialisms by appropriating them. A gentleman of this city relates that some time ago, in the New York City club, he met Fred W—, the comedian. Some one was telling about a woman who had just mar ried her third husband.
“By the way,” the gentleman asked, “where is her first husband buried?”
“He was cremated,” was the answer.
“And the second?”
“By Jove,” observed little Mr. W—, "that woman has husbands to bura."— St. Louis Republic.
A Personal Peculiarity.
The young roan who prides himself on being original was talking to Miss Cayenne.
“Your mother seemed very much amused at that little story I told her la*t night,” he said, self-approvingly.
“Yes,” she replied. “Ever since I can remember mother bas laughed whenever she heard that story.”—Washington Star.
PICTURING A SEA FIGHT.
feet C inches by 13 feet. All floors are double. The foundation is of marble stone, 18 inches thick; the siding 4 inches; sheathing of matched flooring: carving composition. finish is
used for interior-work in kitchen, painted gray. Reception hall wood-
tem of bleaching. This result is the more desirable liecause ozone does not injure the fiber of cloth as some other ch* ink's I* used for bleaching do. In a short article re«*entiy translated from a German publication for the Industrial Record it is stated that in the great
Anient Lover—If you could see my heart, Belinda, you would know how fondly—
Up-to-Date Girl (producing Roentgen camera)—I intend to see it, George. Sit still, pleas**.—Collier's Weekly.
Idealism and K^kllam.
Professor—What’s the difference between idealism ami realism?
’Varsity Girl—Idealism is when you contemplate matrimony.
Professor—Yes, and realism?
Girl—You get that afterwards.— Judy.
As (Hikers See U*
Englishman (to fair American tourist f—Well, I suppose none of this Swiss scenery will compare with jour Niagara.
Fair American (with some embarrassment)—Tv# never seen Niagara.
Englishman—Ah, pardon me; I tLought that you were a married woman.—Baj- City Chat.
Easily Accounted For.
Professor—The fact that men when lost in the woods describe a circle instead of proceeding in a straight line, shows that one leg is longer than the other. How' is such a phenomenon accounted for?
Smart Student—By the fact that the leg pulling process is universal.—Art Id Dress.
Baw Instantaneous Photography Elfin — in the Modern Painter's Art.
Instantaneous photography bas mad* it easy to-day for men with little knowk-edge of seamanship to place ships and boats under sail in a picture, but in early days, says Temple Bar, the power of doing so correctly was limited to a few men like Stanfield and Capt. Beechy, IL N.
The difficulty of obtaining anything like a reliable description of a sea fight, even from those who had taken part in it, was, according to Stanfield, very great, and he told us how, when planning his picture of “The Battle of Trafalgar," he applied to CapL Hardy for advice as to the position of the Victory, Hardy’* answer being that, owing to the smoke, it was impoasible during the height of the action to see beyond the ships alongside, adding: "I am
about the worst man you could come to, for some time before that which your picture represents the Victory’s tiller ropes had been shot away, and I woo below in the steerage attending to them and the helm, and down there we knew so little of what was going on that we continued to load and fire one of her ■tern guns until ordered from the dock to stop because we were firing into one eft our own ships."
Like Loucherbourg, Stanfield had been at sea as a young man, while both owed much of their facility and power of composing a subject to their early training in the scene loft. But I think boother bourg greatly surpassed Stanfield as a draughtsman and in knowledge of naval architecture.
A Poor Plan.
Husband—So that new girl goes out three nights a week. I’ll tell you how to keep her in. Scare her. Tell her a terrible fellow called Jack the Kisser is prowling around, kissing every girl he can catch.
Wife (doubtfully)—Well, I don’t know, my dear; I was a young girl once myself. I’m afraid she’d be out every night.—N. Y. Weeklj'.
HE WOULD TRY ONE CAST.
hotights elsewhere. For all such things are, at the best, ©f fleeting interest, and (lo not stir men otherwise than sentimentally; but the old, kindly love of field-sports, the joy in the smell of the earth and the living air, lie verj' close to a man’s heart. So this apostate, as he cleaned his turnip rows, was filled with the excitement of the sport, and had no thoughts above the memory of past exploits and the anticipation of greater to come.
Midday came, and with it his release. He roughly calculated that he could go to the town, vote, and tie back in two hours, and so have the evening clear for his fishing. There had never been such a day for the trout in his memory, so cool and breezy and soft, nor had he ever seen so glorious a water. “lf ye dinna get a fou basket the nicht, an’ a feed the morn, William Laverhope, your richt hand has forgot its cunning,” said he to himself.
Ile took the rod carefully out, put It together, and made trial easts on the green. He tied the flies on a east and put it ready for use in his own primitive fly-lxiok, and then l>estowed the whole in the breast-pocket of his cont. He had arrayed himself in his l>est, with a whit© rose in his lnitton-hole. for it behooved a man to be well-dressed on such an occasion as voting. But yet he did not start. Some fascination in th.*-* roil made him linger and try it again and again.
Then he resolutely laid it down and made to go. But something caught his eye—the swirl of the stream as it left the great pool at the hay-field, or the glimpse of still, gleaming water. The impulse was too strong to be resisted. There was time enough and to spare. The pool was on his way to the town, he would try one cast ere he started, just to see if the water was good. So, with the rod on his shoulder, he set off.
Somewhere in the background a man, who had been watching his movements, turned away, laughing silently, and filling his pij>e.
A great trout rose to the fly in the hay-field pool, and ran the line upstream till he broke it. The plowman swore deeply.and stamped on the ground with aggravation. His blood was up, and he prepared for battle. Carefully, skillfully he fished with every nerve on tension and ever-watchful eyes. Meanwhile, miles off in the town, the bustle went on, but the eager fisherman by the river heeded it not.
work is of pine, stained antique oak I I* non-bleaching establishment in Graif-in color; paper is old red in color, with fenberg ozone is obtained by electrical flour de lls in dull yellow; a wa nu ye!- methods. The fabric to bi* treated is low is used for ceilings. Parlor wood- first snaked in a solution of chloride
I of lime, then carefully washeil. and ti nail j hung while wet in a glasshouse tiffed with ozone. Sunlight is permitted to pour in on the cloth. It has been found that if a little vaporized oil of turpentine be combined with the ozon- j eted air, th*' bleaching process goes on I more rapidly than before. The time' has thus l>evn shortened about one-1 third. No definite data can beobtained at present, showing whether the new method is likely to paj' or noL
PLAN OF FIRST FLOOR.
work is stained in cherry, and the walls are covered with empire green curt ridge pst[**r, ceiling in lighter shade of green; frieze, russet brown with light olive ornament. Dining-room woodwork is to be [tainted a clark brown. M'he walls are to lie a deep tone of warm green, the ceilings tinted cream. A 12-ineh chair rail. the height cf chair backs, forming a dado around the room, is to lie painted a dr.rk brown, the 8[>ace between chair rail and base board to lie [minted a darker shade of warm green.
Front chandler woodwork and ceding are ivory while;walls light gobelin
licht and vote accordingly. I’ve been a guid master to ye, and ifs shurely them with the eye of a connoisseur
Late in the evening, just at the darkening, a figure arrayed in Sunday clothes, but all wet and mud-stained, came up the road to the farm. Over his shoulder he carried a rod, and in one hand a long string of noble trout. But the expression on his face was not triumphant; a settled melancholy overspread his countenance, and he groaned as he walked.
Mephistopheles stood by the garden gate, smoking and surveying his fields. A well satisfied smile hovered about his mouth, and his air was the air of one well at ease with the world.
“Weel, I see ye’ve had guid sport,” said he to the melancholy Faust. “By-the-by, I didna notice j-e in the toun. And losh! man, what in the w orld have ye dune to your guid claes?”
The other made no answer. Slowly he took the rod to pieces and strapped it ut); he took the fly I look from his [locket; he selected two fish from the heap, and laid the whole before the farmer.
“There ye are,” said he, “and I’m verra much obleeged to you for your kindness.” But his tone was one of desperation and not of gratitude, and his face, as he w'ent onward, was a study in eloquence repressed. — Chambers* Journal.
At the Seaside Hotel.
Dora (shyly)—I became engaged to Mr. Atherton last night.
Cora—Oh, you lucky girl! You ara sure to have a pAfectly lovely time this summer now*. You know I was engaged to him last year.—Somerville (Mu* s.) Journal.
blue; frieze, lilac, iii colors to harmonize; picture molding ivory white. In chamber over sitting-room the woodwork is painted a light blue; the walls to be hung w ith [Mi per in tones of cream and blue. The floor should lie covered with carpet of solid cadet blue with a white border; ceiling to be cream. The walls of the kitchen, pantry the bathroom should be papered with sanitary tile paper.
The art glass must be of a neat design, American glass for the small sash, plate glass for the large sash. The roof will be stained carmine, and the ex tenor of the house w ill have three coats of paint, finishing coat to be of Indian red. Plastering to be two-coat work. There is to be a wood mantle in parlor and chamber with tile facing. All flash-'' ing, down spout gutters and finials w ill be of galvanized iron, and shingles of cedar, round butt dimension for gables.
Closets will have three shelves, hooks and three drawers. The basement is divided off for furnace room, coni rooms, laundry and fruit rooms. Pipe the entire house for gas and furnace. The best of materials of each aud every kind should be used.
George A. W. Kintz.
A Long Wait.
Policeman—Here, move on! Why don’t you go home?
Tramp (with dignity)—I’m waitin’ for me coachman.—N. Y. Weekly.
During the year 1895 there were exported from England cycles and cycle of the value of $6,959,050. ^
Iantrum vat fur Thai Purpose Will Aid in i'orrouUag Weather.
Au English astronomer, Minchin, has invented an instrument which accurate-! Iv measures the quantltj’ of light given out bj' a star. Stars art) designated as being of the first down to the tweu- j tie th magnitude, according to the intensify of the light given out. The magnitude of a star is judged bj' the eye. Anything like exactitude is not obtainable or has not been up to the present.
By the new invention, instead of the rough designation of magnitude, nam bens are given which represent the exact I ratio one star bears to another in light-giving powers. The star Arcturus, fot example, has been foun I to give seventy*; five and three-quarter* times the light of Regulus.
This instrument will lie of use, not | only in astronomy, but in meteorology > also. The amount of light which1 leaches the earth varies according to the state of the atmosphere. The inventor claims that in this waj* forecast* of weather can be obtained which will lie far more accurate than those ob1 tained at present.—N. Y. World.
Books as Disease Carnet*.
Th© possibility of transmitting disease through the instrumentality of ■books has recently been th* subject of investigation by French scientists. Tbs experiments showed that th# diphr th»*ria bacillus might b© cooried by thil agency, but the bacilli of typhoid hives and tuberculosis were nots# co*)v©yed. The beet disinfectant wa* found lo b# fumigation with formic aldohyrt#, but if has an injurious effect on til# blading. The only plan recommended sa safe* after volumes have been exposed to infection, was the burning of th© book*.
Clothing Made from Paper.
An experiment has been made nenr Worcester of making stockings ami gloves from paper. It has proved the greatest success. The texture is given solidity and durability by being placed in a bath consisting of a mixture of tallow aud potato starch, and when finished its appearance is said to closely resemble the articles made from wool and cotton.
Would Have Guessed as Much.
“She married a blind roan,” h© said, evidently admiring her self-sacrifice.
“I would have guessed that he w'as blind if ho married her,” she returned, evidently* not at all impressed with th© self-sacrifice idea.—Chicago Post.
“Poor old man! Totally blind! Does he never repine?*’
“Never. He seems even cheerful. Ho says he does not have to close his eyes now when a girl in bloomers comes along.”—Chicago Tribune.
“It has been a long time since we met,” said the father of the prodigal
“Not for me, father. It has been a time of most infernal shortness.”—Bay City Chat.
How Bargains Work.
“Don’t you find so many house-plants a great deal of trouble, Mrs. Simpkins?”
“Yes, but I had to buy them because iardinieres are so cheap!”—Chicago Record. _
What It Larks.
“Why is it that poetry falls so flat nowadays?”
“Give it up, unless it’s because there’s so little rhyme and reason in most of it,”—Brooklyn Life.
Devils Lake, N. D., June IO.---Register Noble, of the United States land office, says more entries of government land have been made with him in the past 12 months than during any equal period in the history of the office. The splendid crop of 1895 shows the possibilities of the country. Freeland, capable of yielding from 30 to 50 bushels of wheat, IS to 25 of flax and other cereals in proportion to the acre ought not to remain vacant. There is no railroad land grant in the northern part of the state alternating with the government domain, so large parties of home-seekers can find locations near together. The Dunkards. or German Baptist Brethren, now have 16 settlements at various points along the Great Northern Railway.
Southard darned the art of corobin ins* colors by clos*-Iv studying butterflies' wiags; he would often say th.it no one kc*'W what he owed to those tiny insects.— 8. Smiles.____
Grand Excursion to Buffalo July 5th and ©th.
Th# National Educational Association will hold its n**xt annual meeting in Buffalo, and the Michigan Central, “Toe Niagara Fails Route,” ha# made rate of one fare for the round trip pius S2.U0. ass elation membership fee. Head stamp for ‘ Notes for Teacb-, ers,” containing valuable information relative to Buffa o and Niagara Falls, and IO • cents fora 'Summer Note Book” fully de-; scriptive and profuse y il ustrated of the I Summer Resorts of the North and East. City Ticker Office 119 Adams Street. O. VV. Hi;GOLES, Gen ! Pass’r & Tk't Ag’L
“Ethel, did you really steal that etching from a borrowed book “Yes, I just had to—the curve ai the chin aud throat were so perfect.”—Chicago Record.
STREET SCENE IN MILWAUKEE.
As Pictured by a Newspaper Artist in a Rival City During the Recent Street
Car Men’s Strike.
New Train Service on th* Monon Root*,
Commencing Sunday. June 7th. the Regular Sleeping Car for Indianapolis via the Monon Route will be carried on the Fast Mail Train, leaving Chicago at 2:45 aul, arriving at Indianapolis 8 a. rn.
The Sleep* r will be ready tor occupancy in Dearborn Station Polk Street Depot! at 9.30 p. rn., thus giving passengers an opportunity to spend the evening in Chicago, go to the theaters or other places of amusement, and retire any time after that hour. City Ticket Office, SBS Clark St., Chicago.
Ort el.—“I know that age is telling on me/’ said Miss Sere.eaf. “Yes, dear; but you needn’t mind so ray much. It isn’t telling the whole truth.”—Sketch.
That Terrible Boy.
Boy—Ain’t sister arni y ou going for a ramble this afternoon?
Suitor—We are, sonny; but why do you ask?
Boy—Because sister's had the corn doctor here all the morning.—Waterbury.
Th# Boy** Idea.
Flossie, have you aa id your
Flossie—No, mamma; he said be thought I could fix it for both of us.— Detroit Free Press.
“What yer don’t know about me would fill a cirkyerlatin library,” snit! j the fly criminal.
“Is that so?” replied the detective. “Well, what I do know about you wit I fill a suit of stripes.” And he gathered him in.—N. Y. World.
Proof of Affection.
Rich Merevhant (to his daughter)—I say, Emma, I think that young man who calls on you so much really means business.
Emma—What makes you think so?
Merchant Nothing.except he called
at the commercial Cheney last week to find out how much I was really worth.—Texas Sifter.
Taking It Cheerfully.
Landlady—Wouldn’t you like a cup of coffee, Mr. Snoberly? It is nice and fresh.
Mr. Snoberly—Yes, madam, when I’m through with my steak. Business first, you know.—Texas Sifter.
In the Suburbs.
“Your liusliand painted the house this spring himself, didn’t he?”
“Well, yes, I suppose he got some of the paint on the house, but you wouldn’t think so if you could see his clothes.”— Chicago Post.
Wrong Way Round.
Spencer—Who wus it wrote "Men must work and women must weep?”
Ferguson—Forgotten. But it’s good.
Spencer—Rubbish! Women more
often weep when men don’t work.—N. Y. World.
Lord Fitzboodle— I want to marry your daughter, sir.
Old Goldust—Sorry*, but I’m wort Ii only a paltry million and I need that for my ow n use.—Town Topics.
Mrs. Flatbush—Did you have an accident coming up on the trolley tonight, dear?
Mr. Flatbush—Yes; we didn’t run over anybody.—Yonkers Statesman.
“Why is Dawson painting his house such a Vermillion red?”
“He thinks it will look so warm this summer no one* will want to visit there.** —Detroit Free Press.
“You have some very valuable property, I believe,” said the tall man, carelessly.
The little roan looked at him sharply.
“That depends," he said.
“Depends on what?**
“On whether you want to buy it or assess it.”—Chicago Post,,
CIRCUMSTANCE© ALTER, ETC.
Ho mc* week ers* Excursions South.
On the 15th and 16th of June, also July 6,
1 7, J) and 21st and several dates during August, September and October, the Chicago Sc Eastern Illinois K. R. will sell first » lass I round trip tickets, good 31 days from date I of sale, for one fare plus $*2 OO for the round ; trip, to all points in Florida and the South.
Tracks, trains, time, all the best- For fur-i ther Information address C VV Humphrey,
I S. P A.. St. Paul, Minn. City Ticket Office,
1 1**2 Clark St, or C. L, Stone, G. P. & T. A., I Chicago.______
“Youxo man,’* said the merchant to the j prospect ive office boy. “ere you fairly well I educated ?” “I be,” replied the boy, proud-J ly.—Tit-Bits.
Borne HuQ't Built in a Day.
Neither are the obstinate maladi a, to th© removal of which the great corrective, Hostetter^ Stomach Bitters, is adapted curable in au hour. To persist in the use of this standard remedv is no more than just. Biliousness, constipation, malaria, rheumatism, kidney complaints and nervousness are among the complaints which it eradicates.
Never write anything that does not give j you great pleasure; emotion is easily propa-i gated from the writer to the reader.—Jou-* Den.
An Important Difference.
To make it apparent to thousands, who I think themselves iii, that they are not af-I Aided with any disease, but that the system I simply needs cleansing, is to bring comfort home to their hearts, as a costive condition is easily cured by using Syrup of Fizs. Manufactured by the California Fie Si rup Company only, and sold by all druggists.
Who was the first wheelman? Father Time. From the beginning he has gone on by cycles.
A great diamond robbery—stealing a base.—Philadelphia Press.
Miss Bell—The bonds of matrimony never pay a dividend.
Miss Nell—But sometimes they pay j alimony.—St. Louis Republic.
“My gas bill this month fairly took | my breath away!”complained the horse editor.
“Mine did worse than that,” replied the snake editor.
“It took away all my cash.”—Pitts burgh Chronicle-Telegraph.
What ©he Missed.
It 9 a perfect shame, Harold, that I j The One True Blood Purifier. All drusrgists. ll. haven t a wheel.”
“My dear, you haven’t missed anything.”
“Yes I have. I might have had half j a dozen bones broken by this time!*
IX*trait Free Press.
Think what a long train of diseases arise from impure blood. Then keep the blood pure with
“How did Daubs save himself when that leap-year girl got after him out in the country?”
“Oh, he painted a bargain counter on a high-board fence, and while she was gazing at it, he got away.”—Louisville Courier-Journal.
“What a very modest little house the M’s live in.”
“I should say so; why, even the doors are shrinking.”—Brooklyn Life.
A Mutual Disappointment.
“I was so disappointed I was out the ether day when you called, Miss Pei-civai.”
“So was I. I felt sure I’d find you, because when I turned the corner, I saw you go in.”—Harper’* Bazar.
Hood’s PIII9 are always reliable. £> cents.
nu iimi ii' aminF"**!! mr'*"Se'"
You Poor Rheumatic.
There is a remedy, thoroughly reliable, called I “Alien’s Vegetable Extract,“thai we will guar-1 arnee will cure you, or it shall cost you nothing lf you will write us fully about ;»>ur case, we wi gladly consider it, and sell you our medicine if w*i I feel VU r* it will cure you; not otherwise. I JOI doses by mail for SI .00. The Allan Ssisa-raxilla Co., Woodford*, Me.
am) WHISKY habits cared. Book leat rKir. or. a. a. Woolley, atlanta. aor*tai nu nrumeUMjHwa
HAVE YOU TRIED YUCATAN?
PISO S CURE FOR