European Stars And Stripes Newspaper Archives Dec 26 1999, Page 49

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European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 26, 1999, Darmstadt, Hesse Tell dear Carolyn a serious sex Boyfriend a that is he was a very serious Boyfriend and is now an exp has invited me to spend new years with him at a great great party. He and i have had some issues with being exes. He Snow dating someone and i done to want him Back though we both do miss what we had for several years. Question is this an unhealthy Way for me to ring in the new millennium no because the new millennium starts next year. Err. And no because its Over a right if that a the Case the unhealthy Way to celebrate would be to pass up a great great party just because it seems wrong to go with an sex. New years symbolism is ruthlessly overrated. If you want to go go. Dear Carolyn i am coming up on my fourth anniversary and my husband still does no to help with the chores. 1 am tired of doing them All and working Hill time and going to school and trying to raise a 3-year-old while he is either working he has his own business playing Golf or just lying around. Ty1q do you think it would l. Be wrong of me to Stop 2 Holt it Doine his laundry or Auu i 1 cooking for him or is a for in Fror this part of my role in advice Tot this world j done to the under-30 Lieve in the whole the crowd Carolyn Hax Man brings Home the Bacon and we Fry it up in a pan. He does pay the Bills he thinks this is his role. We Are 25 and 26 years old. A what should i do i count a Job school chores and two 3-year-Olds. Of and one screaming Doormat. Your a role in this world tempting As it May be to Cut off his hospitality Supply its a pretty hostile act a so save it for when you re feeling pretty hostile. To keep you from getting there try putting your fatigue in writing. List All of it everything you do in a Day a going to work and whatever Home related errands or phone Calls you squeeze in while you re there plus classes plus All the Little 3-year-old juice fetching and face washing you add on top of that. If your husband truly believes life is fair he can to object to keeping a list himself. Do it for one week and compare. Enjoy. If the list works he will feel bad awful unforgivable if you really score big Floral. Note that i did no to say a useful a enlightenment wont necessarily translate into actual household help. A Guy set in his Guy ways May have to be asked to please fold this laundry and buy these groceries and make that bed thanks so very much for years before you reset his ways. Which is if you re keeping track More work for you but it helps if you keep telling yourself that you re training your part time replacement. A if the list does no to work a if he can stare at what ill guess to be a 20-to-l chore imbalance and say a so Cinderella what a your Point a a then this Isnit about chores at All. Its about respect and its not going away without outside help. I mean a marriage Counselor but a housekeeper Hurt dear Carolyn your answer to most people claiming to be under the influence of a a guilt trip is that the guilt is ones own creation. I done to understand this. Mothers especially have the ability to push All our buttons to make us question Dur own decisions and feel bad read a guilty a about not doing what they expect from us. Example the Holiday dilemma. I feel bad a sad nostalgic lonely a about having Christmas away from my family. That is not guilt it is my own problem to Deal with the realities of change As we grow. But when my Mother Calls and tells me How sad she is blah blah blah am i supposed to be the cold hearted daughter and not feel anything that a the feeling i Call guilt and i have it if she would be a grown up about it too. A a. I feel mad a annoyed peeved internally torqued a when parents Roll up their expectations and beat their kids Over the head with them. But you feel the blows if you mustered a Little Faith in your choices a if you knew to use your example that you really would join your family if you could. Which you would right what a so cold about telling her that granted resisting doubt Isnit easy if your momus got an itchy Button Finger though for the record i think a Mother is allowed to say a a in a sad you wont be Here without being accused of blackmail. But a blackmailing mama just Means you have to take her into account when you make these kinds of decisions. If you miss a family Holiday if you marry someone she scorns if you drop of med Law business school to devote More time to your taxidermy a you have to stand tall and stand ready to say you be done the right thing. Its called Confidence. Not Only does it Cut the wires to All those buttons but its entirely ones own creation. Write to Carolyn Hax at Quot Tell me about it Quot co the Washington Post style plus 1150 15th St. New Washington . 20071 or email . Christmas Cache by Frances Hansen / edited by will Shortz solution to Puzzle on Page 12. Across 1 pilgrims to Mecca 7 More than a cause 4 14 enjoyed a soak 20 protozoan 21 having a few buttons missing 22 fighting 23 Start of a verse 26 quake 27 Mauna a 28 fairy tale Meanie 29 pupils place 30 news maker of 2/20/62 32 mystery writer Josephine 33 kind of whale 37 not even tempered 38 a Darnab bit a 39 a passion according to St. John composer 43 like new 44 game in which the 13 Spades Are Laid face up 45 Bucko a love 46 Tortosa a River 47 More of the verse 54 to Boot 55 cries of discovery 56 prom needs 57 Johnson a vaudeville partner 58 Secretary of War 1940-45 60 hunk 62 thorny 63 Loose 65 old Holder of writing fluid 67 loud 70 epoch in which mammals became dominant 72 new York tribe 76 actor Reeves 77 either of two . Books 78 site of the forges of Vulcan 79 River Inlet 80 More of the verse. 85 rain Check 86 suffix with Christ 87 nosegay 88 or. 1-6 a 89 a a one a two 90 before once 91 yellow Shade 93 Nita of a blood and Sand a 1922 94 the works 95 Chili Accomma Nier 96 Blackbird 98 kind of Dame 101 table scrap 102 helped in a heist 106 end of the verse 111 a a mysterious locale 112 strips 113 they re seen at court bashes 114 aware of a Slan Gily 115 girl of Barbershop quartets 116 its flashy Down 1 a left a 2 writer Kingsley 3 a How a the Little Busy Bee 4 King in 11 Kings 5 footnote word 6 Yellowish red 7 Driver who talks 8 High tailed it 9 Burma a first . 10 moved easily 11 in Shakespeare the Star in a the Star is fall no 12 israeli Leader with an Eye Patch 13 conductor a Pekka Salon Etc 14 planned for in a Way 15 Wroth 16 actual 17 Sartre a close 18 extensions 19 Bat King need 24 opposite of 1 Down 25 department store 30 blood a partner 31 nut 33 Jimmy of . Blues 34 red or White wine 35 ballade conclusion 36 map abbr. 37 Dallas team informally 38 Solidarity a Birthplace 39 a Coronation of the Virgin Painter 40 humiliate 41 town a 42 like rhinos 44 James Bond woman in a Thunder balls 48 Patent Medicine . 49 gunwale pin 50 everyone has one 5 1 Law 52 Razorbacks 53 actual 59 the old folks 60 ancient Market 61 designers Job 62 pretty to Burns 64 Sharpen again 66 How some arguments Are conducted 67 dog with a Long curled Tail 68 satirist Brendan 69 Nixon a first defense Secretary 71 tip 73 part of a fire safety program 74 Felt bad 75 game ragout 77 Prague so University 78 Start of North Carolinas motto 81 bows before 82 a wheel of fortunes Choice 83 mud say 84 indeed 91 Leatherneck 92 Tricky 93 Birdbrain 94 concerning 95 like Many wartime Mes sages 96 medicines a system 97 red spotted creatures 98 Halliwell for Merly of the spice girls 99 baseball stats 100 sheltered 102 addies husband in a was i Lay dying 103 a a a she blows a 104 architect Saarinen 105 humdrum 106 Salaam 107 writer Leshan 108 infamous Amin 109 cognizance 110 wind Dir

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