European Stars And Stripes Newspaper Archives Dec 3 1999, Page 42

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European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 3, 1999, Darmstadt, HesseFriday december 3, 1999 stars and stripes timeout Page 7 not even Favre can Salvage a trashy season for lbs by Dave Kindred the sporting n6ws w Here have you gone Joe Montana for that matter has anyone seen Brett Favre suddenly the nil has no quarterbacks. Ken Stabler and Dan fonts put Dowty those Beers it s time to fling the hog hide again. If this keeps up John Elway could play one series a week and own the Broncos. Troy Aikman Steve Young Dan Marino and Vinny Testaverde have been replaced by men so obscure so mysterious so faceless that one s first guess at their identities is Federal witness Protection program Sammy Baugh Call Leigh Steinberg. Come to think of it Stein Berg probably has called Sammy already it s an absolute certainty guaranteed or your Money Back that Joe Theismann goes to bed every night think ing he could get out there one leg Shorter than the other and do anything Jim Miller can do. Jim Miller who s Jim Miller Dunno but he got the bears 422 Yards a few weeks ago Only 98 fewer than his total passing yardage in four previous years. The nil s hottest quarterback is Kurt Warner once of the University of Northern Iowa the Iowa barnstormers and Amsterdam admirals. There is Jeff George once of every nil team that got sick and tired of him for Good reason. There Are Damon Huard and Jon Kitna. Both played College Ball in the state of Washington which Means less once you remember Ryan Leaf also played there there mainly is Peyton Manning the Only real thing in the nil today. Otherwise everybody is Gus Frerotte s backup and nobody is Billy Kilmer who threw pm end Over end but won games because he stood on the bar at new Orleans old absinthe House declaring i hate the cowboys certainly nobody is Brett Favre not even Favre him self. On a Spring Day in 1994, Favre sat on a Dock by Rotten Bayou a Rotten Bayou next door to his Home. This was outside Kiln a one blinking yellow Light town pop. 1,200 or so lost and forgotten in the Southern Mississippi Piney Woods. Favre s take on Kiln people work on cars All Day party at night and wrap it All up with a few barroom not yet the Brett Favre he would become he remembered the Brett Favre he had been. Which was a Jairett Favre once about dead the result of a Confluence of liquor a car and a tree. He also was a Brett Favre chosen in the first round of the 1991 nil draft by the Atlanta commentary the associated press photos Brett Favre widely acclaimed As the Best quarterback in the game has launched 15 interceptions 16 to passes and has completed just 55.8 percent of his throws. Falcons for whom he mostly threw toy footballs into stadiums upper decks. Always doing something like that he said explaining Why he and fellow backup quarterback Billy Joe Tolliver bought those whistling nerf footballs that would Fly forever with proper propulsion. Pregame we d throw pm 98 Yards them things whistling like bombs Favre said. He did it because he was a country boy having fun in the big City he also did it to remind Jerry Glanville he could do it though the coach did t much notice or care which May or May not explain Why the coach is no longer a coach. But in time the country boy having fun saw what was Good for him or As Favre put it that Day on the Bayou did anybody want a partying third Stringer who can throw a whistling nerf Ball 98 Yards if you want the circus Here he is Brett Favre even the Harley Riding coach As circus Glanville did t want Favre around. So of the 1,001 dumb things Glanville did with the Falcons he then did the dumbest of All. He traded Favre to Green Bay. Not that Glanville s foolishness was immediately Evi Dent. It took a while for the circus boy quarterback to learn the sophisticated West coast offence As adapted by the packers coach Mike Holmgren. One time Favre began laughing i called the snap Early bumped into a receiver in motion bounced off a running Back and stumbled out into the Flat and had to get rid of the so i threw it underhand and i threw it so late that just As our Guy caught it he got hit and knocked unconscious. We wound up winning thank god but when we re watching film later Mike goes what in the hell was that play i can t even Chart that " even if Favre did t become Brett Favre suddenly he did it certainly. Now thrice the nil s map a super bowl Winner and loser he Learned to work with Montana s efficiency Elway s improvisations and Stabler s transcendent moxie. What a glorious thing it was to see Brett Favre inventing ways to win when there was no Way to win. Now too often it s sad to see him at work. A monday night against the sea Hawks with Holmgren on the other sideline Favre was rendered forlorn. Has any Hall of Fame Quality quarterback Ever played As poorly he threw eyes closed ducking the Rush off balance prayers to and Over double and triple covered receivers. He seemed utterly and irredeemably lost and though it s unfair to Call him the Favre dumped by Glanville it s fair to say Favre at age 30 with Ray Rhodes As the packers coach is not Favre at 25 with Holmgren in his ear. This too shall pass. Favre is too Good and too Young to be done. Hell be Back because he s the bold hero Quarter Back adventurer that the writer Jack London had in mind when he wrote i would rather be ashes than dust. I would rather that my spark should Burn out in a Brilliant Blaze than be stifled by dry rot. I would rather be a Superb meteor than a sleepy permanent someone once read those words to Kenny Stabler and asked what they meant. A crooked Grin crinkled the old pirate s Silvery Mustache and he said throw nil shows hypocrisy in Banning Throat slash Miami it is the newest thing in football trendier than even tattoos and season ending injuries. A jubilant Sam Madison or Jason Taylor makes an Impact play and then runs a Finger across his Throat symbolically beheading the opponent. The Celebration is silly and unoriginal yes but the scared Antiseptic nil has gone too far in Mak ing it illegal tuesday the league banned players from making the Tirera Taj lju7w w a. Com the online tire and wheel store everything to simplify purchasing tires or wheels. A Complete tire and wheel store and information source on line. In House testing and results. Customer tire evaluation results. Order online 24 hrs./7 Days suspension articles. Us military government Apo shipment program. Pricing available on line. View wheels on your car before you buy proportionally accurate sizes. Choose from 5,300 vehicles. Wheels from 25 manufacturers. Pricing and wheel information. 771 w Chippewa Avenue South Bend in 46614 �1999 the tire rack wow 219-287-2345 fax 219-236-7707 popular Throat slashing gesture threatening fines and penalties and this is absurdly hypocritical. In the name of image the nil is stomp ing out something As irrelevant As a Celebration while continuing to allow players to go straight from rehab or jail to the end zone. This league a Market ing giant that Sells Vio Lence very Well does t want too much Street seeping into its scrubbed sanitized sport so it tells us the cutthroat gesture sends a bad message to kids and does t befit role models and blah blah nil s Job is to produce football not raise our children and kids should t be looking anywhere beyond the dinner table for their role models any Way but if this league is so intention making statements for Ameri Ca s youth it can Start by ban Ning Leon Lett for his substance abuse or not allowing Lawrence Phillips a 150th second Chance for his countless off the Fiel problems. No no no. Better to strip foot Lebatard 13-9 score cutting the head off anything that might represent Atti tude. Better to Cluck indignantly about How sportsmanship is dead and wag a parental castigating Finger at on Field celebrations All the while letting Eugene Robinson play big game without Fine or suspension because Well that clearly does t Send As bad a message to kids not even to Robinson s own staying with Mommy a few blocks away while daddy propositioned the Alert these kids the nil is so interested in protect ing Are playing graphic football video games in which the player flex and dance and tear the spleen right out of the other Guy s body video games it needs to be noted from which nil licensing inc. Profits the Only ones profiting fro the Throat slitting gesture of course Are the individual player who get the to cameras and the Fame and the endorsements an the nil can t have that of course. Sneaker companies fireball of All its personality leaving superstars and threaten breach off their helmets enough on the sideline and replace them with say Puma baseball Caps but the league does t legislate there. The greed message is All Good As Long As it s subliminal. This Throat slitting nonsense does t promote violence. Three pro football players getting into an off season bar Brawl so in tense that it took More than 30 police officers to arrest them now that promotes is just a gesture every bit As irrelevant As doing the Macarena in the Backfield. If you re intent on forcing substantive meaning upon an nil gesture Check out How Many players fed the Home less on Throat slitting of course is easy and obvious an politically Correct but it s no More right than punishing Neil Smith s swing for the fences sack dance because of the extrapolation that kids might run out and beat someone to death with baseball Bat do kids Admire and mimic the athletes absolutely. But let s give them some cred it too. Jason Taylor in t endorsing violence or Throat slitting. No More than Dimitrius under Wood was. It As uninteresting As another of contract if players Don t take Dan Lebatard writes for the Miami Herald

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