European Stars And Stripes Newspaper Archives Dec 2 1999, Page 25

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European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 2, 1999, Darmstadt, HessePage 26 stars and stripes thursday december 2, 1999 this grandmother is a real Gem dear dear Abby after Reading your column about outrageous mothers in Law i had to write. When i was 17,1 married my High school sweetheart. He was Only 20. We were entirely too Young to get married. However his Mother never said a negative word about it. In fact she was our most ardent supporter. The following year we had a baby boy. We were too immature to have children but my Mother in Law never said an unkind word. She was extremely kind and Gen Erous to my son and to me As Well. She never once criticized the Way i took care of the baby. When she came to visit she asked me nicely what i wanted her to do and then she did it. When i think of this now it brings a smile. I was Only 19 and knew nothing about babies but still she respected my wishes As the Mother of this child. If she had a negative opinion about me she kept it to herself. After a few years the marriage fell apart. The subsequent divorce and custody Battle got very ugly. My Mother in Law never took sides. I am now happily remarried and live about 3,000 Miles away from my former Mother in Law. My former husband has also remarried. Neither of us has had any More children so my 12-year-old son is my former Mother in Law s Only grandchild. He visits her every summer and i keep her up to Date As much As possible about his activities via email and pictures. Sometimes people Are curious about Why i work so hard to keep this connection to my sex Hus band s family. After All Accord ing to the world s expectations we re supposed to hate each other right wrong this lady is a Gem. She s a Sterling example of How people should treat each other. She and i had a Long talk this summer about this very subject. I told her that i do not own my son. He s part of her too. And i would be doing a grave Disser vice As a Parent to deny my child the gift of knowing this wonder Ful grandma. I Only Hope that someday i will be As terrific a Mother in Law and grandmother As she is. Rachael in California dear Rachael i m sure you will be because you fully appreciate the maturity generosity and diplomacy that Are required to fulfil those roles. Many people could take a lesson from your former Mother in Law. Letters for this column with your name and phone number should be addressed to dear Abby . Box 69440, los Angeles Ca 90069. Readers can write to Abby on the internet at . Universal press Syndicate men can be abuse victims too Annear Ann the letter from prompted me to write. She said her sex Hus band was obsessive and potentially violent. That train can run both ways. I was an abused Hus band. During 10 years of marriage starting on our honeymoon my wife became More and More abusive first verbally then physically. Years of counselling resulted in very Little improvement. Every Day i lived in fear of her unprovoked attacks and storming rages. Finally one night my wife brutally beat me in front of our 7-year old daughter. That was the night i decided i had had enough and packed up and left. Why is there such silence about women who abuse and Why was i silent first i loved her and hoped she would change. Second i wanted to stay in the Landers marriage to protect my daughter from my wife. Her anger was often directed at our child , i was ashamed of myself for putting up with it. After years and $55,000 in Legal fees i was finally successful in defending myself against her charges that i was the abuser and got custody of our daughter. My sex wife was ordered by the court to get therapy to Deal with her severe emotional disturbance As a condition of being allowed to see our daughter. I am now in a wonderful Happy relationship with a gentle mentally healthy woman. My daughter is much happier and is doing better in every aspect of her life. I deeply regret All the years i wasted hoping my sex wife would change. Tell your readers that women can be abusers too. It s time to break the silence and get out of those sick situations. And please Tell us Ann if there Are resources available for abused men. They need All the help they can get. Finally Happy dad dear dad you were Brave to write and i thank you. Abused husbands Are not As rare As you think. I have heard from several Over the years and printed their letters. The Domestic violence hotline helps abused men As Well As abused women. For More information on local resources please Call 1-800-799-Safe 1-800-799-7233 or for the hear ing impaired try 1-800-787-3224. . It is not wimpy to seek Protection from a physically abusive woman. Vio Lence sometimes escalates to murder. Letters should be addressed to Ann Landers . Box 11562, Chicago in 60611-0562. Or write to Ann on the internet at ,Asp. Creators Syndicate that scrambled word game by Henri Arnold and Mike Argirion unscramble these four jumbles one letter to each Square to form four Ordinary words. Vaboe f \ a / 7 a / �1999 Tribune Media services rights reserved. Nowoc f \ \ j 7t j Gofter f \ \ / f s a / to a j Debalfo f \ \ / to j r s / that s it -300 when a Roulez a perfect oame his opponent wa5 now arrange the circled letters to form the Surprise answer a suggested by the above cartoon. Ans r r a yesterday s answers tomorrow jumbles Handy Natal velvet Pigpen answer what the smooth talking conductor ran into the end of the line family circus 12-2 inc�1999bilkeane, dist. By King features synd All that email you get sure does help my stamp la a 0 a i i"."-. " Irr 1 i2. Wilson in t Tauy map until his n06b turns purple

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