Brandon Sun (Newspaper) - June 30, 2002, Brandon, Manitoba
HAGARBoy humiliated bv bully dad
* w wafter third-place win in sport
EDITOR'S NOTE: Ann
Landers answered her readers’ letters up to her death on June 22. The following was one of her last columns.
Dear Ann Landers: Last week, I witnessed something that really bothered me. I went to my nephew’s wrestling match and saw a father “coaching” his son during the competition.
The young man was putting his heart and soul into the match, and although he did not come in first place, he did win a medal. But that wasn’t good enough for his father.
The man screamed at his son and humiliated him in front of everyone because he came in third. This boy was perhaps 15 years old and kept apologizing to his father for his “poor” performance.
The father made him feel so worthless, the boy threw his medal into the garbage can.
I wanted to take the boy home with me. I ADVICE
knew his father would -
berate him all the way to their house. I hope all parents who behave like this will stop and think what they are doing to their children in the name of competition. If this boy’s mother witnesses such abuse, I hope she will speak up and put an end to it. These men are bullies. — Wrestling Fan in New Rochelle, N.Y.
Dear Wrestling Fan: You are absolutely right. Parents should support their child’s interest in sports and be encouraging. They should never berate or humiliate the child or be overly critical.
Not only is this poor parenting, it could kill any desire the child might have for the sport.
Too many parents attempt to live their own dreams through their children. My heart aches for that young man. I hope his father sees this column and is thoroughly ashamed of himself.
Dear Ann Landers: I was recently asked out by “Laura,” a girl who is deaf. I was surprised by her invitation since Laura
rarely speaks to anyone other than her interpreter. She always seemed friendly, offering to do small favors, and so on, but I never took her up on her generosity. It bothered me to have a handicapped person do things for me that I am perfectly capable of doing myself.
I don’t want to hurt Laura’s feelings by turning her down. She’s a nice person, but I am not attracted to her and have no interest in a relationship.
What should I do? — Mixed Signals in Louisville, Ky.
Dear Louisville: The fact that Laura is deaf should not determine your actions. If you have no interest in a relationship, you should let her know you prefer to remain platonic friends. From the tone of your letter, it seems that Laura’s deafness might be a problem for you. I hope this is not the case and that you will give Laura the same consideration
you would give any
female who asks you out.
Dear Ann Landers: I am a 47-year-old single mother. I own my home and car, and consider myself intelligent and capable.
Here’s the problem: I am in school to become a paralegal and must take algebra in order to get my degree. I will never use algebra in real life, nor is it a necessary component of being a paralegal. However, algebra is required in order for me to graduate.
I am terrible in math, Ann. I already have taken algebra once and failed. I am certain I will continue to fail, no matter how many times I take the class. Can you help me? I don’t know what to do anymore. — The Dummy in San Antonio
Dear San Antonio: I, too, wonder why higher-level math classes are required for people who will never use them. Talk to the algebra teacher, and ask for his or her assistance. Also, please consider hiring a tutor.
The results will be worth it.
FOR MONDAY, JULY I
A day of unorthodox behaviors makes it seem as though the lunatics have taken over the asylum. Avoid knee-jerk reactions, and let the loopy people you have to deal with on the job or at school do themselves in. Slowly move ahead with long-term projects, plans and goals. If you’ve been researching an issue, you find incredibly valuable information today.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). Hobbies are relaxing, therapeutic and downright sexy to those who are lucky enough to see you in action. Statements may be retracted, and if you overlook the errors of another, you can make a fast friend.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). If you can’t have artistic license in your job, you’ll retaliate in sneaky ways. Encourage a loved one’s creative attempts, even though you secretly don’t get it. Two or three admirers appear on the scene at once!
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Money flows consistently but from varied sources. Take a client’s complaint seriously. Double duty stimulates you to do your best work. Singles determined to find love are successful when they are a bit less aggressive.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Surprise! You may actually enjoy what you profess to be irritated by. Work and school assignments prove to be sources of inspiration. First impressions are crucial at interviews, audi
tions and meetings.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). A temporary setback on the job or in matters of child rearing is the result of a small oversight. It is safe to explain your dilemma to a loved one. A close friend’s argument is convincing but wrong for you.
TODAY’S BIRTHDAY (July I) A cas cade of power begins flowing in August and grows exponentially by December. By 2003, you won’t recognize your life as you transform into the person you’ve always known you could be. In September, a mentor or guide unselfishly shows you what to do, giving
—- you the tools and even
the funds to proceed. Love strikes while you’re vacationing this summer. Your lucky numbers are: 5, 16, 18, 26 and 38.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). A lover’s forgetfulness is maddening, but it doesn’t reflect directly on you. Constant interruptions keep you from being as productive as you would like. Colleagues and partners are receptive to constructive criticism if you are, too.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). It is tempting to take advantage of a position of authority but very dangerous to do so. Get closer to a potential love interest by expressing your
feelings. Honesty with a loved one is the only way to regain trust and openness.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). If you are certain that you did something correctly, do not apologize. Friends are ready to take you on a spending spree, but you should wait until a paycheck comes in. Thoughts of a new love are distracting on the job.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Younger relatives seek approval, but this isn’t obvious. A little attention from you means more to others than you think. It is more difficult to be honest, but it takes much less energy in the long run.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). By joining a group, your power increases. Colleagues reach a breakthrough, and you benefit, too. Showing appreciation makes you feel good. Introduce friends who are well suited to each other. Luck involves a settlement.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Image is important on the job. A surprise visit from a loved one brightens the day. Avoid dipping into savings to purchase unnecessary items. Your white lie saves a colleague from embarrassment — just don’t make it a habit.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Money considerations aren’t everything. Put financial matters in the proper perspective — it’s only money, lf you offend anyone in the morning, go back in the afternoon to make amends. Think of ways around an office crisis.
For Tuesday, July 2
Mercury and Saturn are in conjunction in Gemini, allowing you to exorcise the demons that have prevented you from breaking out of a rut. Suddenly, things start to make sense. The romantic quagmire you’ve been in becomes less troublesome as you put this relationship in proper perspective. There are lots of other fish in the sea.
ARIES (March 21-April 19). A business venture bnngs out the artist in you. You might find yourself at odds with a powerful man. A co-worker asks you for moral support on a very serious personal issue. A Leo needs your attention.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You are much more innovative than others think. You’ve been underrated at work — speak up about your abilities. Your present boss will soon leave. A friend is making unfair demands, so just say no.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Look at people’s motives; they should be clear. Much is at stake now, so it’s not a time to get bogged down in details. Understanding the secret desires of your sweetheart will clue you in on how to get closer.
CANCER (June 22-July 22). Insist on the quality you deserve in a relationship. Friends will be asking for small favours. Define the
terms of an arrangement regarding child rearing, domestic duties or property ownership.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Stop scattering your energies, and go after the job you really want. Do not bottle up your emotions; express yourself at every opportunity. Marriage partners agree to make major con-cessions.
TODAY’S BIRTHDAY (July 2) Though you are super-sensitive, your resilience and toughness this year have impressed everyone. New respect, a better job and power are yours because of your can-do style. You could rest on your laurels, but your ambition drives you to new heights. Colleagues select you as their leader in December. A financial break in March solidifies your future. Your lucky numbers are: 4. ll, 17, 28 and 34.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). An authoritative tone closes the deal. Be careful, though: Speedy results are not necessarily accurate. Stay on top of the latest happenings on the job to make a great impression. If you have teens at home, you’ll be tested.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Team up with a colleague who shares your opinions. You have procrastinated on a project, so set a deadline, and tell others about it. Extra attention from a flirtatious love interest sets your heart sailing.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Relaxation is necessary for growth. Ignore criticism. What you have in common with an Aquarian makes for solid friendship and mutual gain. Reconciliation and getting hitched are favoured.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Keep promises, or you will be called on the carpet. Those close to you listen to your side and go along with your decision. You connect with friends and learn about yourself. Couples speak of the future.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Apply your new insights to human nature. If you have a date, spare no expense, and you will be rewarded handsomely. If you don’t have a date this weekend, have no fear — you’ll find someone special.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Clients appreciate your gestures and will be faithful. Identify problems in the morning; solve them in the afternoon. If you argued with a love or mate yesterday, do something romantic to make up for it. Listen when a child talks.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). There are more ways to overcome adversity than the traditional ones you keep choosing. Be creative now. Wait until this evening to talk money with your mate. You agree on how to deal with a difficult family member, if nothing else.
# In 1917, jazz drummer Buddy Rich was bom in Brooklyn, New York. He was only two years old whtn he first appeared as part of his parents’ vaudeville act, playing The Stars and Stripes Forever on a snare drum Beginning in the late 1930s, Rich drummed with a succession of big bands, including Bunny Berrigan, Ame Shaw and Tommy Dorsey Rich’s first big band of his own, started in 1945 with $50,000 backing from Frank Sinatra, was not a success. But in 1966, he began leading a band of mostly young musicians playing modem, swinging arrangements. Rich continued with this successful formula for most of the next 20 years. He died on April 2, 1987 of a heart attack, two weeks after undergoing surgery for a brain tumour.
# In 1948, Canadian folk and country singer Murray McLauchlan was bom in Paisley, Scotland. Brought to Canada at age five, McLauchlan began his career in coffee houses in Toronto’s Yorkville district when he was 17.
TODAY IN MUSIC HISTORY
The success of his Farmer’s Song m 1973 resulted in the first of his annual concert tours across Canada, and appearances rn the U.S. Farmer’s Song, which won a gold record award for sales, also gave McLauchlan Juno Awards in 1973 for best folk single, best country single and composer of the year. He also won Junos in 1976, ’77 and ’79 for best male country singer.
# In 1943, Florence Ballard of the Supremes was bom in Detroit. The three original Supremes — Ballard, Diana Ross and Mary Wilson — grew up together in a housing project. Through a friendship with members of the Temptations, the trio — then calling themselves the Primettes — were introduced to Berry Gordy, who signed them to Motown in 1961. It was Florence Ballard who suggested a change of name for the group — to the Supremes. But it wasn’t until their 10th single, Where Did Our Love Go, in 1964 that the Supremes hit the top of the charts. Other number-one records for the
Supremes that year included Baby Love and Come See About Me.
Diana Ross gradually emerged as the star of the group, and this and other problems led to Florence Ballard’s departure rn 1967. She later sued Ross and Gordy, alleging she’d been forced out of the group. Ballard lost the suit, and when she died three years later of cardiac arrest at 32, she and her three children were living on welfare.
# In 1975, Cher and Gregg Allman of the Allman Brothers Band were married. She’d been divorced from Sonny Bono only several days. But nine days after marrying Allman, Cher was again suing for divorce.
• In 1985, Yul Brynner gave his 4,625th and final performance in the musical The King and I. Less than four months later, he was dead of lung cancer at 65. Brynner had opened in The King and I on Broadway in 1951 and won an Oscar for the 1956 movie version.
A X Y I) L B A A X R is LONGFELLOW One letter stands for another. In this sample, A is used for the three L’s, X for the two O’s, etc. Single letters, apostrophes, the length and formation of the words are all hints. Each day the code letters are different.
6-29 CRY FrOQ U OTE
DXVL PXVU BRZV ERDLAPNTMA
J M R Z PXVTM T1RMU PRDVMA,
TE V N HT A PA N M V N W P PR D N H O
APMNTQXP TLPR PXV QGPPVM.
— HRQNL W. AZTPX
Yesterday’s Cryptoquote: AN IDEAL WIFE IS ANY WOMAN WHO HAS AN IDEAL HUSBAND. -BOOTH TARKINGTON
UElUOltfHEKElNTHe Wlto-EKNESS SHE SHOUP KEEP PUTTING IT ON- PREPACKS FRET
I DON'T THINK ^
SHE'S GOT ANT- ( WI™ THING To WoPKV \