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Abbeville Press and Banner (Newspaper) - March 17, 1909, Abbeville, South CarolinaThe song of the automobile. I am humming along i am sinking a song i am merrily clipping the the Road All the Way is a ribbon of a Writha blur for the fences and Stiles. There Are horses behind that i passed like the wind their Chagrin Thev cannot having to take All the dust that i make for i am a. Automobile. Of where is the car on this Giddy old Star that can match me for Beauty and Speed it must be allowed i be a right to be proud since i m always the one in the Lead. There is nothing so fast in this universe vast As my body of Scarlet and steel the wind and the Swallow behind me must follow. For i am an automobile. Minna Irving in Gunter s Magazine. Y the True Story you of Astory. M by Victor Kauffmann. This is the True Story of a Story that will not Down. It had its beginning More than seventeen years ago and to All intents and purposes it is As fresh to Day As it Ever was. In 1s91 i was a reporter on a Washington evening paper. On a Day in october of that year during an unusually heavy wind and rain storm that swept Over the City really a , a Large building on f Street that was being erected for a music Hall was blown Down and several persons were either killed or injured. In a very few minutes i was on the spot watching the police and firemen in the work of removing the debris and rescuing the victims. I must have sat Down upon a Green Wall for on my Way Home from the office that afternoon a Friend called my attention to the fact that the rear of my trousers was badly marked with Plas Ter. Now i was particularly pleased with that pair of trousers for they had but recently been made for me by a new York tailor and were the most costly raiment that i had Ever indulged in. So that evening i left word that when John Quander a coloured Handy Man came in the morning to Black the boots and incidentally to Rouse me for the Day s toil he was to give that garment a very thorough cleaning. The next morning when John had rapped on my door the customary length of time the following conversation ensued " deed sir i can t get them pants cleaned no How. I done Bresh pm n use a wet rag n soap n water but i can t get pm clean John have you tried ammonia no sir i Haven to but i know they d fit me first now i thought then and still think that that was the Best Pun in the English language especially As the perpetrator was so thoroughly sent the Story with a suggestion for an illustration to a leading new York weekly. I received no re pay Duc a new Weess Icausi me with an illustration such As i had outlined did appear in another . I presume some Friend who had heard me Tell it had forestalled me and had reaped the Reward i had thought was mine. However that May be that Story is still going the rounds of the press and dropping up As a Brand new Story with remarkable regularity. A few years ago when i was in Florida i saw the Story in a Philadelphia paper ascribed to representative John Sharp Williams. Again i saw it in i Chicago daily credited to the son of & famous Milwaukee Brewer who had a Valet. That was the Only has appeared at intervals 4n new York usually Laid at the doors of some Well known visitor at a prominent up town it has Tome to be a part of the Stock in Rade of Many professional interviewers who when Short of fresh material ring it in in their hotel corridors column As told by some illustrious guest at a leading hotel. And so it goes. Some fifteen years ago a washing ton lady told the Story at a luncheon Only she finished it up something like this John have you tried clean Olio no sir i Haven to but i know they d fit me first and she wondered Why it fell so Flat for she had heard it told by Elinor Mccartney Lane the novelist and playwright and always with great Success. Mrs. Lane first heard the Story a Day or two after it occurred and for More than seventeen years now it has occupied a prominent place in her repertoire. It is the Only old Story she tells. In the Spring of 1907 i was at the grand Canor in Arizona and there met a very Brilliant Young woman from los Angeles who was one of the Best Story tellers i have Ever known. We swapped yarns to our Mutual satisfaction but i saved mine own for the last and Best. Finally i sprang it in what i thought was my very Best style but there was nothing doing. In despair i repeated it Clprp Ntina the Ninf Tunc Nuovo you tried you tried pm on you. See with a Wistful look across the great chasm she merely said please do not ask me to laugh at that Story. I had to laugh at it at seven dinner parties in san Francisco last Winter and each time the Teller insisted it had happened to this summer when i was in new England this same Young woman sent me an August number of a popular Magazine in which my Story again saw the Light of Day. Last Winter my brother was at a dinner Given by the men s society of the Church of the covenant which in years gone by has sometimes been known As the Church of the gentleman sitting at his right told him that selfsame Story As having happened to him and a few minutes later one of the chief speakers of the evening incorporated it in his address As a personal experience. I have never seen the Story in Londo punch but i am sure that by the time it shall have reached its majority four years hence the editors will have appreciated its merits and that 1 shall have the pleasure of seeing in american papers reproduced w due credit from that famous Engli weekly. Only i am afraid they w substitute methylated spirits for a Monia. Now what i want to know is the will any one now believe that this really my Story and that it actual happened to me about 7.15 o clo on the morning of november i 1s91? in conclusion let me say that have leased telling the Story per s weekly. � has immigration 2 debased us in this country says profess e. A. Ross discussing the outdo for Plain Folk in everybody St thronging in from the backward 1 lighted lands hurts socially the Ca ing and circles that the Immi Grai enter. Their habits cause America to shrink from them As from a Low caste. Their helplessness invites c pression. Certain official brutality Peculiar to peonage p lice clubbing the sweat Box t third degree the convict lease s their Start in the abuse the friendless alien. Their wage citing stabbing and strike break foment violence which leads to t ready Bayonet state coustau Ularie and the denial of Home Rule to Citi their political crudeness brings 1 proach on democratic institution their Clannis Ness delivers them the shrewd Boss who gives them re presentation on his ticket. Final our increasing diversity in blood a tradition by permitting race Prev Dice to be played upon divides a weakens the people in their fight f self government. 41 nor is this All. The startling inequalities wealth that have sprung up in a generation threaten to establish class d Tinct ions hostile to democracy. F the tendency of such abysmal co trusts is this the Ultra Rich vie extravagance. The spectacle of the baronial estates princely houses i tried lackeys Sybaris in luxury Ai elaborate ostentation infects w the worthy with the worship wealth. Success comes to be Mea ured by the sheer Cash Standard. T Young and ambitious realize in Ai shape their course accordingly. Be pie fall apart into As Many Sci a groups As Mere Are spyies 01 Ulm and forget How to meet their fellow on the level. The Rule is snobbish Ness toward those below you Ai Toad ism toward those above to the Rich Are gangrene with Prid the poor with envy. There is longer a Public opinion there a Only clashing class opinions. Hone labor is Felt to be More disgrace than mean parasitism. The toil ii millions cease to be respected Evi by themselves. The upper class claim and Are conceded the right Lead finally the right to govern. Such would be the course of to malady. Unless democracy men the distribution of wealth them distribution of wealth will i Biauce inclines in favor of democracy the forces on its Side reach Deepe they Are civilization Al. The Swari ing in of Low Grade immigrants Ai the Mal distribution of wealth a manageable things. They can be fact elsewhere have been successful dealt with by organized society they Are matters for statesmanship so it is More Likely that Democrat will Cut the roots of privilege tin that privilege will Cut the roots democracy. Let the half stifled muck Rake the faltering Soldier of the commit Good the Down hearted Reform leave his Trench for a moment Ai climb to the Hilltop that looks out All the Peoples and on All the fore of the age. He will see that the lips of to morning Are reddening " haunted House in the capital. At the Corner of thirteenth and streets in what used to be the to fashionable part of Washingto stands an imposing mansion whip was built not Long after the War a certain colonel la Man considerable Fortune. He w stricken with a mortal illness n Long after the House was finished Ai the doctors told him that he my die. Being greatly in love with lil however and possessing so much make it enjoyable he declared the he would not give it up. Resist ii stoutly the approach of death shrieked and blasphemed so loud to attract the attention of the Euti neighbourhood. Nevertheless t grim enemy carried him off final and the funeral was hardly out when his ghost made its first appear Ance. Afterwards it was seen Many occasions in various parts the House especially in the Lih Rai and so persistently did it haunt t premises that servants could hard be induced to remain. At one Tir the mansion was occupied by t Spanish minister who told Remar Able stories of things apparently s per natural which he witnessed illustrated sunday Magazine. The Walrus defences. A full grown Walrus will weigh much As 2000 pounds a Mountain Ous mass of muscle and blubber a the St. Nicholas. He is armed i tusks of Ivory sometimes two feet length and when from his uproar bulk these formidable weapons a plunged downward upon an Enen they Are As Resistless As the drop a Guillotine. Such a thick layer blubber lies under the skin that is practically Clad in an Armor i pervious to Teeth and claws Alii so. Unless the Bear is greatly favor by Luck he has Little Chance to of throw his antagonist. Evening thought. Best of All is it to preserve Evcic thing in a pure still heart and there be for every pulse a thanks ing and for every breath a song. T worship most acceptable to god com from a thankful and a cheerful Hea Plutarch. Fly Csc new York Cit just such pref 4f blouses As this one Are in great Dimand for Young girls and Are Charn i singly Youthful in effect. This one or. Tucked on exceptionally becoming lines and includes a Little Chemis etl that is always Dainty while it allo la a Choice of Plain or tucked sleeve in the illustration it is Cut off at tic j Empire Waist line but whether 6hall be finished in that Way or i the natural urns is a question for each of individual to decide. In either Cas n it is charmingly Graceful and it is adapted to every material that is Thi or enough to be tucked with Success pc n it can be lined or unlined and const in Quentlyn suits lingerie fabrics and tic in like quite As Well As silk. In the i v lust ration however crepe de car and is combined with banding Aud with Enlace Che Misette. If a Grimpe Effe of is wanted the sleeves could be mad is lie much to match the Che Misette in place or the Blouse. The Waist is made with the fltte3 lining which is optional with to front and Back portions. It is Tucke on indicated lines. When the liner j is used it is faced to form the chem Sette but when it is omitted thib la Ter is attached to the Blouse to �. Joining being concealed by the trin11 Ming. When finished at the amp ii Waist line the Waist is Cut off to the necessary depth and can either i � worn with the skirt illustrated a with any similar one. When extern is de to the natural Waist line it rip requires Only the usual finish of Aras pretty Belt or Girdle. Both Slepov e Are Cut in one piece each. J the Quantity of material require a for the sixteen year size is four an r and an eighth Yards Twenty one c 11" Twenty four two and a half Yarc Dij thirty two or forty four inches wid with two and three eighth Yards banding five eighth Yard eighteen inches wide for the Che Misette ii Short and Long sleeve. Notwithstanding that Long sleep have been declared modish for a but Ball gowns one sees Short sleep in the majority of theatre frocks an there is no gainsaying the fact the they Are prettier their Grace enhanced by the Long Glove rippling 1 us above the Elbow. The Short Glove in really hideous in the evening an is Long sleeves do not convey the id the of full dress no matter How elaboration sleeves and it can be utilized a for More Dainty materials of a Dre Steier sort and made with the Plain one1-piece sleeves that make fhe latest be decree of fashion. Again the Plain a surface Between the tucks and the it front affords excellent Opportunity in for the embroidery that is so much f liked and the Blouse can be treated in this Way or left Plain or can be id trimmed with insertions or finished a e the Waist is made with front and or backs. There Are tucks Over the i shoulders and the neck is finished b with a neck band. It can be worn in with regulation collars of the mate trial or separate ones As liked. Both the Plain sleeves and the regulation a ones Are Cut in one piece each and id the regulation sleeves Are gathered r at their lower edges and finished with is straight cuffs. A for the medium size will be re required foul and an eighth Yards of in material Twenty one or Twenty four. A two and seven eighth Yards thirty id two or two Yards fort four Inchuk wide. Old Hermit quits blizzard drives him Fri companionship other that have been his i and has it out at Inte after residing for Over forty years in a Hole in the ground John Jones the Hermit of the Charlton Valley crept out of his Burrow last week and sought Refuge from the blizzard with his Welsh Friend Dave Jones writes the new Cambria to correspondent of the new York Sun. Jones the Hermit had weathered other blizzards Many of them More severe than the present and fattened on them. But As the Sunset of his life came on the howling winds the Bare Trees and the Snow covered Hills Flook dreadfully lonesome. When the p 2re of youth Burns Low the wildernesses filled with grotesque Shap s. The Hermit was beginning to see them and he yearned for the presence of Humankind. He has Many friends in town and ample Means to build and furnish a comfortable a uric iuc1c, Uuk us lao Utu of in the Brush and Hills that he has become child of nature. The rabbits and squirrels which played about his queer dugout were not afraid of him and soon became so intimate that they would venture into the rude Home about feeding time. The Little animals of the Forest and children seemed to be the Only things the old Hermit Ever loved. His nature partakes of theirs. In manner he is As gentle and Low spoken As a woman. Instead of hardening him the wild rugged life of the Hills and Woods has subdued him. He took great Pride in his modest Home and the simple arrangements he had made for warmth and Comfort. The bed placed High like the upper berth in a sleeping car is reached by a Short ladder. A thickly thatched roof could resist the fiercest storm that Ever swept Over any country. The greater part of the Hermit s domicile in under ground. Its original character was that of the homesteader s dugout when government land was awaiting them forty or fifty years ago. At a Short distance the thing looks like a Carei Uny Laici nays an. The Entrance is like that into a slope mine. A few Steps Down and you Are in a dirty entry packed hard with shelving containing a wider diversity of articles than could a found in the old curiosity in his forty years of Hermit life or. Jones has allowed nothing to go to waste. The worn out shoes he wore in building the dugout Are on a shelf and the remains of subsequent pairs beside them. Everything Needle pin Button string screw or Nail that he Ever ran across is carefully placed among the assortment of the Earth s cast off one has Ever heard the old Man of the Woods Tell a lie. No one has Ever heard him swear and no one has Ever detected him in a i honest transaction. For years or. Jono has been a Money Lender. He is now said to be Worth f 2 0,000, exclusive of his Cave which would inventory about $2, unless or. Jones would make the inventory. He would Likely run it up into the Job let of faded finery tin pans and things. Or. Jones first commercial Deal was taking a Basket of strawberries to the new Cambria Market. He sold out at a Good Price and kept the Money. There is no record of his Ever having spent any for himself in All the year. Having sold the strawberries he brought another Backet Load and likewise disposed of them. More Coin for the Little tin Boi hidden away in the Cave. From strawberries he branched out 10 raising Puia Tuen turnips truck of All sorts. He brought walnuts Hickory compressed air. As car fender. Puff of wind controlled by but Tonto blow person off the track patented. Puff a Strong current of compressed air whisks you off the car track and out from under the wheels which were within an Inch of your head. You Rise Brush the dust from your clothes and go about your this because a Man out in Canton Ohio has a Patent by which compressed air May be used he Hopes to blow human obstructions from trolley car tracks says the new York Herald. The Man in Canton heard of the fender and wheel guard tests conducted by the Public service commission of this state recently to determine the most efficient safety a vice of this sort. He then wrote a letter to the commission saying in part i the Motorman seeing the person in danger strikes a push Button with his foot or Finger and a blast of compressed air blows the person off and to the outside of the tracks. You do not have to Chase a suitable car fender any More. This is the Only Safe i a. W. Climont electrical Engi j Neer t6 the commission to whom the letter was submitted is considering the matter. Dairies in architecture. Before the Young architect fresh from Paris had been with the new York firm a week he confessed to Complete disillusionment. The Only thing i see ahead of me for a year or two to come said he is dairies and Chicken houses. When i left America four years ago there were not a dozen dairies in the United states that had received the attention of a Good i find that every Man who owns a Large estate is paying a big Price to big architects for giving their Best brains to cow and Chicken houses which certainly indicates i think that in some branches of Art anyhow America is going be True to present duty. He who is false to present duty Breaks a thread in the loom and will find the flaw when he May have forgotten its Cave. I in Home of forty 8 than the children and animals saved $2 11,000 oct i cola Taij h i i i Jujj fifty an nuts and Hazel nuts to town in sea son. He might in the Early Days have made More Money trapping but he has never harmed an animal that shared his Solitude. One Day a Friend of the Hermit sus talked an injury and was Laid up for 3u some time. Jones went to see him and helped to nurse him. On one of these visits he Learned that worrying 0 Over an overdue mortgage was retarding his Friend s recovery. The Friend did t say that he was both ered but the Hermit found out. He cd Learned the amount and one Day in came with a shot sack full of Coin f and Bills. What s this John asked thebe sick Man. Medicine said the Hermit. Cd take it and if i Ever get tired of the Woods i la come to after he was gone they counted the Money. It was $1200 saved up from strawberries and nuts. The Friend came near having a relapse. But he a got Well and paid the mortgage off. He is now travelling smooth Waters a financially and the Hermit has gone re to him to get oat of the cold. Bat he s not a troublesome Man to have my around. He chops Wood and fetches hit in shovels out paths through the in Snow and washes dishes. They Don t que like to ask a Man Worth $20,000 to in do All that but the Hermit would stay under no other conditions. Most of the frugal Man s Money is invested in interest bearing securities he can neither read nor write Dii the English language but he can to mentally figure interest with the Best up cashier in the county. When a note a is due or. Jones Calls on the borrow he or that Day. His clients understand or that in dealing with him it s just like do a Bank. He is never excessive never harsh never closes a Man out. The i thing is attended to quietly and i peaceably. If the Borrower can t pay a off the note he must renew paying do the interest on demand business is business. A a woman Over in Ohio saw the Hermit s picture in a farm Magazine Tri and a sketch about him. She took v1 her pen in hand and expressed her to. 11/. I sympathy forms lonely Dac amur a. In the Woods. She said her husband had gone to his rest and or Jones was interested she might go into particulars. J1� the Hermit walked All the Way to in town to have the letter read by his and Friend Dave Jones. In fact Dave is read it half a dozen times before he was satisfied and then asked him a what he was going to do about it. If he happens to come Davy said the old Man with anxiety w please Don t show her the Street i a live the Hermit has Many relatives Over in Wales some of them very m p tx7i Well to do people. Some Twenty years " ago the Sisters Learned that he was s located in the heart of a prosperous farming Community of Missouri. They reasoned that american farm ers All had Broad acres big barns and Roomy Homes. So they wrote their brother that they were going to make a him a visit and bring their children a along. The Man of the dugout was not pleased with the threatened inva Sion. In no Way he figured it could he stretch his Little Home to accommodate another human being. So he went to a Friend with his trouble. W. The Friend told him that yellow fever was raging in the South and that he a might move it up to Missouri. The reply letter carried out the idea. The Hermit s Kin across the sea stayed at Home. I _ in modern methods. Of i by Emil Breitenfeld. Thas i opened the door i saw a Man with a burglar s mask kneeling before the Safe. The next moment he had turned and shoved a revolver into my face. Throw up your hands he said. I did so. You understand he remarked pleasant la. That i can under the present circumstances loot the premise sat my pleasure i confessed that he Cound. You realize that you Are at my mercy he asked. I do i replied. The you acknowledge that i can blow an you to kingdom come if i like he a persisted. I a certainly i admitted. Well then he said you will be to interested to know that i got in with it out difficulty through your parlor up window. Had it been equipped with the Smith s Patent safety burglar alarm and preventer this could not have be happened. Installed Complete with let batteries for fifteen dollars and nine Futy five cents. Allow me to hand you Sti a circular. Good night therewith pocketing his revolver us i. Turnm nth Era Alie wimp invt. 1 Izui Kyj sub 1 sol not within his jurisdiction. To a Well known new York judge invited Friend of his a lawyer from a Boston to go for a Short trip on his y1 yacht. A storm came up and the or boat began to Roll and toss in a Man Miner which the Boston lawyer did not a 1 relish. The judge Laid a hand on his a Friend s shoulder and said my dear i fellow is there anything i can do to make you comfortable yes was the grim reply Over a Rule this life. 6ssil Thi it tasted so Good but. Be Are you the answers to Corre i Spon dents editor inquired the Pale dyspeptic looking caller at a publish go ing House on the Day after Christ a Mas. Oli i am replied the lady addressed Cli what can i do for you be first answered the Man what a will dissolve a chunk of Lead in the by human stomach second won t you and please refrain from publishing re us Cipes for Plum pudding nest Christ til Mas or it _ household Hibbs f 1 " for a cracked stove. Take an equal part of Wood Aiea d common Salt mix them to & upor consistency with water with a fill the crack Boston Post. To color canned cherries. If when the fruit 1b turned out of i can it has a Dingy faded look d a Small Quantity of Cranberry ice just before serving. This Wilt Sally improve the appearance of 3 dish without affecting the flavor the fruit new York world. A refrigerator suggestion. To prevent the ice pan from get Rusty and leaking Wash the pan an and dry thoroughly melt Ough paraffin to cover the Bottom the pan about one half an Inch. Besides preserving the pan the ziment washes out very easily with id water and the pan always looks i Ian Boston Post. A simple device. Some time when you Are in need of Little hot water and the fire is Lowke two wooden chairs stand them cd to Back a1 it two feet apart no a tin pail 11 of water on a be the Broom handle will Doand v 3t either end of the pole on the. P of the chairs with the pail in the " i 1 Laie. Men set a a ecu Iau a y. E larger the better on the floor Ider the pail and the water will fickle heat. One can make Tea or time boil eggs or potatoes in that a Boston p the Kitchen Linen. A convenient place to hold the 3h towels roller towels and Kitchen ble cloths and napkins has been hit Ion by a Young housekeeper who .3 to utilize every Inch of space in " s x Small apartment. It is a Box put Lder one of the windows that does Ity both As a seat and Chest. The Box was an Ordinary store Box Ith a hinged lid. It was covered the a tight Woven matting that could i Sily be kept clean. A layer of pain was put underneath. Rollers Sre added so that the Box could Sily be moved. The Interior was provided with a a which was divided into three visions so that the different kinds of Wels could be kept separate new Aven Register. / science of washing dishes. One of the unnecessary things in Tus keeping is the continuous Wash and wiping of dishes says a worn in the housekeeper. Many women & Lve nevertheless at one time or anger rebelled against the stack of aha looms us. Like a school y s hash three times a it is queer How some women will Jar themselves out rather than step Ide from the beaten path. They Ive yet to learn the Joy that comes y v of taking an Independent tack and aking the work subservient to from being the master. In a sgt sad of the slave. To Many women the bugbear Oft us work is washing dishes. Why ish dishes three times a Day do in the looming when fresh. Scrape \ e dinner dishes stack in a Large a filled with cold water and cover. Treat the supper dishes the same by and do not allow your conscience keep you awake one single hour. Will not make the task too heavy / e next morning if you try this Way. After washing each piece in hot is and rinsing in hot not warm iter put them piece by piece in e wire Drainer As nearly on Edge or Lant As possible and let stand until y. 4$ glasses of course and Silver must wiped but the former can be left led after using Ana the latter put to a Pitcher or deep Jug until some d minute when one is not so weary Ith Well doing that another turn of e screw seems next to impossible. Hei ssh cur Xci re i stuffed prunes Wash the prunes roughly steam until tender pit d fill each one with Cream cheese Ain fondant fondant and nuts or topped preserved Ginger. Beef for essence one half Pound und Steak Broil two or three mines turning every ten seconds Cut in Small pieces and squeeze rough Squeezer to obtain juice. Cranberry Jelly one quart of Cran tries two cupfuls of cold water it boil ten minutes add two cup Isof sugar let boil ten minutes Ain. It will soon Harden. Lightning cake one cup of Gar one cup of flour one teaspoon1of Cream of tartar of n a or two teaspoonfuls of baking Der melt one fourth of a cup of tier then into this break two eggs d fill cup with Sweet milk that has e chill taken off then turn onto the y ingredients and beat briskly five nutes flavor with Lemon bake in moderate Over. Lemon sponge cake eight eggs o cups sugar two cups flour one non. Beat the Yolks of eggs and d gradually the sugar which has in sifted. Add juice and grated id of Lemon then the Whites of is which have been beaten stiff. It the flour three times and add to e mixture with a Little Salt. Don t at after the flour has been Well fixed. Bake in a moderate oven. Chicken Ste Cut in pieces a of sized Chicken. In a deep sauce have ready two tablespoonfuls be Oil. Add the Chicken and onion topped Fine and a Clove of garlic Ason with Salt and Pepper and add sprinkling of flour to assist in the owning. Liei a Golden Brown d a can of tomatoes with a Little Gar to taste and simmer gently in tender. Serve with Spanish Rice. / #
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