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Wisconsin Patriot (Newspaper) - January 14, 1860, Madison, Wisconsin BY CARPENTER MADISON SATURDAY JANUARY 14 1860 43 Gentility Genteel it ii to have toft hands Bat not genteel to work on lands it it to be abed But not genteel to earn your bread it to cringe and bow Bat not genteel to tow plow it is to play the beau Bat not genteel to reap and mow Genteel it is to keep a gig But not genteel to hoe and dig it in trade to fail But not genteel to swing the flail Genteel it ia to cheat your tailor Bat not genteel to be a tailor Genteel it is to fight a duel But not genteel to cut your fuel Genteel it is to eat rich cats But not genteel to cook and bake is to have the But not genteel to wear thick shoes Genteel it is to roll in wealth Bat not genteel to have good health Genteel it Is to cut a friend Bat not genteel your clothes to mend Genteel it is to make a show But not genteel poor folks to know Genteel it is to run away But not genteel at ome to stay Genteel it is to smirk and smile Bat not genteel to shun all guile Genteel it is to be a knave Bat not genteel your cash to save Genteel it is to make a bet But not genteel to pay a debt Genteel it id to play at dice But not genteel to take advice Genteel it 13 sometimes to swear But not genteel plain clothes to wear Genteel it is to know a lord Bat not genteel to pay your board Genteel it is to skip and hop But not genteel to keep a shop Genteel It is to waste your life But not genteel to love your wife THE HANDSOME STEWARD OK the Captain Came to be Married The wind that The ship that goes And the that loves a Sir go up to the shipping office and tell the shipping master to look me out a steward delay Davison a going to be married and says he can't go with me because I wont let him take his wife Tell that I want a good steward and will take no other Ay ay sir But if he can't find a steward won't a do just as asked the second mate who was a bit of a wag and well knew the captains hate of everything feminine Stewardess A thunderin she female Do you mean to insult me you rascal Go to instantly and do the errand as I bid you or I'll shy a belaying pin at your head And Boltrope paced the quarter-deck in a rage with his face glowing like a house in a foggy night Ay ay replied Stannton as he sprang ashore and hastened to the wharf laughing heartily at the fit of passion into which he had thrown the old A stewardess Good Heavens muttered the captain and he continued to pace the -Is the wan insane or did he mean to insult me If he did it will be very unsafe for him to try it on again And yet he's a good fellow and a skillful officer and a brave brave lad but his insane fancy for the female sex spoils all Dash my buttons if he don't be- lieve that every petticoat contains an angels most of em I reckon Still there are some women almost as sensible as Staunton's sister for instance She is altogether above the average egad I really believe she is fond of me but then she's a woman and that's enough to set me against her if she were as beautiful as Venus and as good as an angel Let me first time I saw her she was a of twelve since that time I have been to Calcutta and back once to San Cisco and Callao and to New and She must be nearly seventeen now and I confess that j was astonished when I went to Staunton's latt week and found a lovely modest and accomplished young lady where I expected to see a romping Lizzie is pretty and if I hadn't more common sense most men I dare say I should marry her for it is plain to see that she is in love with me By the great horn spoon wouldn't that be a Ha Tom Boltrope a bachelor and woman hater of forty years spliced 10 a little bundle of dimity aged No thank heaven 1 am yet tanus as we used to say at school and not likely 10 wreck my whole future happiness upon such a treacherous rock as matrimony No and the captain shook his head with grnat energy At this moment his soliloquy was cut short by a question from the stevedore and he walked forward to give directions for the stowing of the cargo Captain Thomas Boltrope commander and part owner of the good ship was an eccentric man but not by any means as hard-hearted as he wished to appear Indeed his disposition was exactly the opposite of fish and though he might bluster and scold and storm when in ill-humor he was after all a generous whole-souled man In personal appearance he was rather pre- possessing being tall and well proportioned with a frank intelligent countenance Of late however his somewhat easy mode of life and his cheerful disposition combined has caused that part of the person which lies beneath the lower to expand somewhat beyond classic proportions and he gave proof a strong tendency to become corpulent while lace began to grow ruddy with the of healthful blood which coursed in his But with this change of the physical increased spirit of cheerfulness and was visible and the which had marked his youth began gradually to disappear Richard Staunton had sailed with C from the time when he first left his home for a life on the ocean up to the date of our story and had served in the way as boy able seaman third mate and second mate which latter position he still pied Staunton's father and Captain were old friends and from this cause as well as the fact that the young man was himself deserving of respect and esteem for his efficiency and many good qualities he had become the captain's especial favorite and protege The was nearly ready for sea and would sail in two or three days for pool Captain Boltrope had visited Staunton's house several times while in port and as we have seen had discovered that the pretty sister of his favorite officer was greatly above the average of women In fact he was very much pleased with Lizzie but true to his I ciples or rather his prejudices would not knowledge to others that he felt towards her any feeling but contempt and aversion Lizzie was more than pleased with the captain and it is possible that she may have shown such cations of friendship a3 to have warranted his conclusion that she was in love with him After an absence of half an hour the second mate returned to the ship and informed the captain that the would or to procure a good steward for the before the day of sailing By this time the cap- tain had entirely forgotten his anger toward Richard and as no further allusion was made to the the former insult was overlooked Early next morning the shipping master came aboard accompanied by a young man whom he introduced to the captain as James Graham and stated that this was the best steward he could procure at so short a notice Do you consider yourself competent for the asked Captain Boltrope Yes it I am a good cook and form all the duties of a steward but have er been much at sea and shall perhaps be er at first Well if that is the only point in which you slippers completed the dress which covered while it did not the symmetry of the body or the rounded contour of tha limbs His complexion was very fair and contrasted finely with the jet black whiskers and mustache which adorned his face His hair was cut short but was very fine and glossy and when he smiled he displayed a double row of the whitest teeth imaginable But his hands white as milk and with tiny tapering fingers attracted the most observation and caused various remarks from the captain and mate The steward however explained the matter by stating that he had not been compelled to perform hard labor until re- cently The captain was at first inclined to doubt the abilities of such a tenderly nurtured and cate stripling but n few days sufficed to show him that the new steward was a proficient in all the duties of his situation he performed his work with the greatest apparent ease and yet the table had never been so well supplied before nor had the cabins and pantry ever looked so neat and comfortable The captain was ed with as he called him and the mate declared again and again that the new steward was his weight in gold The second mate said nothing of the kind and yet he alone possessed the steward's dence Xo one else not even the cabin boy enjoyed so intimate a friendship as he with young Jamie and their intimacy became the subject of frequent comment his head in the expectation of beholding the graceful figure of Jamie Graham but to hia great disappointment his eye fell upon the cular frame of the second mate who coolly seated himself upon a stool and seemed ing the coming of some other person A few moments elapsed and then light footsteps were heard approaching the state room the door was again opened and a lovely young girl in full female custom tripped into the room and greeting the second mate seated herself by his side To his great delight Chips now beheld un- proof that his suspicion was correct The change of clothing and the removal of the false beard and mustache had transformed the handsome steward into a beautiful young lady A conversation ensued concerning the cap- tain from which the carpenter learned that the sick man waa still delerious and that the young lady upon whom his admiring glance was fixed had devolved herself to the onerous duty of ministering to his wants and would continue to do so until his recovery At length the lady arose saying that she must not remain longer absent from her patient I and left the The second mate lowed and after a few moments the carpenter crawled from his place of concealment rejoiced i at the discovery he Lad made and hoping to turn this knowledge to his own benefit After many days of suffering and delirium the captain recovered the use of his reason and The captain and mates took their meals j the steward returned to his duties dressed as gether while the steward waited upon them before in male apparel During the first day of after which the carpenter steward and cabin Captan convalescence he sent for boy sat down at the second table the second mate and held with him a long and ter was a rough uneducated fellow and confidential interview the captain in a feeble voice for he was still greatly debilitated If I survive this illness I think I shall arise from my bed a changed man You little know what sir fall short you will answer my purpose very well If you are sick the cook and cabin boy can get along a few days without your ance and I know many good seamen who are always seasick at the commencement of a age I like your appearance young man and if you will ship with me you shall have good wages and easy times You will have a room by yourself and can make the cabin boy do a trood share of the work What do you will go replied the young man Very well Pack up your toggery and come aboard as soon as possible I shall not be able to come aboard sir un- til the day of sailing for I have several private matters to attend to first I hope you got a sweetheart to I don't approve of n 0 no I never had a sweetheart and am afraid I never shall hope you wont sincerely hope you wont You say you can't come aboard until the last minute well I suppose we must let you off Be on hand early on Wednesday morning for we shall sail at nine o'clock Let me mako you acquainted with my second mate Mr Staunton You will be com- du as the Frenchmen say and I hope you will like each other As the second mate took the hand of the new steward he could not repress a smile and the latter almost laughed outright greatly to the surprise of Captain Boltrope who remarked that ho didn't see what there was to laugh at I'll tell you some day Staunton and shortly after this the steward left the vessel in company with the shipping master At the day and hour appointed the were cast off from the wharf and with a fair wind she stood out to sea As she swung round the end of the wharf the new steward came aboard with his baggage of which the captain remarked he had sufficient for a three years voyage Perhaps he expects to get married before he returns and has taken his bridal re- plied the second mate with a sly wink cried the captain in evident disgust Let go stern Hoist the jibs and Sheet home the top Aloft some of you and loose away the And in half an hour from this time the was standing out of the under courses topsails and topgallant The new steward immediately retired to his and for a whole week remained in- visible to all aboard except the second mate who regularly visited him and ministered to his wants When at length fully recovered from his he made his first appearance in the cabin the captain and indeed every one else on board except the second mate were surprised beyond measure at his delicate and almost feminine appearance During his first interview with the captain and when he came aboard he had worn a huge pilot coat and his had been partially concealed by the folds of a woolen scarf for it was now late in autumn and the weather was cold But now he was dressed in a costume suitable to his indoor duties which set off his slender but beautifully rounded figure to the best thing of a joker ia a coarse way On one sion as he sat at table he commenced rallying the steward upon his personal appearance I suppose a handsome fellow like you can find as many sweethearts and wives as you said he The steward blushed like a girl but said nothing would make a nice woman yourself if you were only dressed in con- Chips I think nature must have made a slight mistake in got the true feminine And lie at- tempted to plice his familiarly upon his companion's shoulder but the latter sprang up in haste and vrith eyrs and crimson checks J into the pantry From that moment a suspicion took sion of the carpenter's suspicion he mentally to verify if For the first week of the passage the were light and baffling and at the end of that time the was not far from stormy where she experienced a terrific gale which drove her still farther to the southward visions and phantasies have been presented to my mind during my delirium some of which I still remember Why I have suffered all the torments of the damned Demons and imps of every conceivable shape have surrounded me and seemed striving to drag me away to their dreadful abode and yet I have ever been by a white robed guardian angel who has hovered about me and rendered the assaults of the fiends unavailing Strangi to say this angel bore the sweet face of youi sister Lizzie and but for the would hive resembled her in every particular And sometimes I Lad seemed to be released from these visions as one wakes from the nightmare for a brief ever an op- period enjoyed a lucid interval I beheld the same angel form seated at my bedside and ing upon me with an expression of deepest derness 0 how happy it made me to see her there and to hear her ask me if I wished for anything as if she had been my nurse I then believed it to be Lizzie but of course it was For twenty days she was the sport of the winds and waves now lying to under or the lee clew of the maintopsail and now ding under almost bare poles while snow rain ice and hail combined to increase ships of her crew Doring all this time Cap- tain Boltrope was almost constantly on deck both by night and by day Toil aad hardship at length overcame even his powers of ance and just as the weather had undergone a favorable change he became dangerously sick The excitement and care as well as the ex- and want of sleep had been far more than he could bear and as soon as he took to hia birth a brain well nigh futal fever set in which proved During the first day of the captain's illness the steward was missing from his pest and the second mate explained to the other officers that Jamie had assumed the duties of nurse and at- tendant upon the sick man and would be unable to act as steward until the captain should recover but a phantom of the brain Staunton my boy I believe I love your sister and have loved her even before my ness but was too obstinate to acknowledge it even to myself and if I live to reach my native land again and she is still fancy shall assuredly try my luck at wooing The second mite smiled then rising from his seat replied I have no doubt you will be successful cap- tain for if I am a judge of women Lizzie ready loves you I hope so I pray it may be so Well sir I hope so But you are too weak to talk about it at present and I would advise you to go to sleep again if possible haps you will see the same pleasant vision again If so I shall consider it a good omen and feel a strong hope of realizing what is now my fondest returned the captain as the second mate left the room In a few minutes the sick man was again in At this moment the subject of his remarks the land of dreams and the second mate who His linen was snowy white and very fine and he wore a closely fitting vest over which was buttoned a long white apron a pair of nicely fitted duck trowsers tight at the waist and very iride at the ankles where they almost concealed a pair of wry small feet encased in low cut passed through the cabin The carpenter who was engaged in repairing the pantry door which had been accidentally broken looked up and thinking the present opportunity favorable for his purpose commenced talking in a coarse and disgusting manner to the cabin boy ing the countenance of the steward closely in the meantime to observe the effect of his words The second mate who had stepped into the stale room immediately returned and ded the carpenter to be silent But Chips was not to be so easily discouraged and was on the point of repeating an improper phrase which the second mute had heard him use before when the latter sprang upon him and with a single well-directed blow laid him prostrate on the floor had returned and cautiously peeped into the immediately hastened back to the and informed the steward who awaited him there that the captain was asleep The latter promptly retired for a short time and re- appeared in full female dress She proceeded to the Captain's state room and seated herself by his await the moment of his ing intending to allow him a single glimpse of her as she glided away at the instant when he should open his eyes Scarcely however had she taken her seat when the captain awoke and as his eyes fell upon the image of his visions he an etched out his arms with joyous haste I know if you are a being of and blood or only the baseless fabric of a j Chips picked himself up in silence ind straightway left the cabin with a firm Before she couH retreat ho clasped her tion that his suspicion had now been re- to a certainty HP still however re- solved to koep a weather eye upon the steward and if possible obtain revenge for the blow which he had For several days following this event the steward ivas seen no more in the forward cabin nor was any one except the second mate and cabin boy allowed to enter the captain's room or even the after cabin the doors of which were kept carefully closed One in his arms ami drawn her to hia bosom and imprinted a dozen fervent kisses upon her ing At this moment the second mate entered and started back in at the un- expected scene you tne is out of the bag I see it and my handsome steward shall be my beloved wife as soon as we reach port if she and you will consent Will you be mine ing during Ask my brother replied Lizzie blushing laid his plans crept aft resolved to make like a rose surance doubly sure as to his suspicion con- She is yours sir I give her to you the steward by ocular and may you both be replied He passed into the cabin unperceived and ton tered the steward's state room It was vacant but around the sides hung the various articles of which the steward had hitherto worn The lower bunk was partially filled with small trunks and valises but Chips managed to stow himself behind them where he remained for about an hour in such a position that he could see everything in the state room and not be ob- served by any one who might enter At length the door opened and Chips raised Then I am the happiest of exclaimed the captain as he kissed the coril mouth of his dear little nurse and lier from his em- brace I am sorry the denouement 1 so soon said Staunton am afraid the ex- will make you ill a bit of it It has cured ine and as soon as I get a little strength I shall be on deck again captain fell back upon his pillow for he was really very weak and his emotions of joy had quite overpowered him Lizzie Staunton and her brother immediately left him alone and as further concealment was unnecessary the lady did not again unless indeed she put them on after her point on which we have never been informed The mate was delighted when he learned the circumstances and declared that the whole fair was the best joke he had ever heard The carpenter of course gave up all future hope in regard to winning the lady ly concealed the manner in which he discovered the steward's secret From that time Captain Boltrope rapidly con- to recover and before the coast of old Ireland rose to the view of those on Board the he had again assumed the command of hia ship As soon as he arrived in Liverpool he claimed the hand of Lizzie in marriage and when the again sailed for America the handsome steward became captain's mate THE MYSTERIOUS BABY BT CILB DALLAS We had just taken our seats at the one evening when a flash of lightning and a heavy peal of thunder told us that the storm we had been expecting all day had at last broken over the city with a fury which betokened it was no passing shower and bade us expect a long and terrible tempest No chance of interruption to-night I thought as I opened the pages of a work of my author and seated myself im my little rocking chair I was mistaken however for hardly hac I perused three sentences when a ring hard and sounded through the house Who can it possibly be on such a night as this I said running to open the door myself while Psalter followed me into the hall for same idea had taken possession of our minds al the same that some accident had happened to Tom's f imily and that he had sent for us Tom himself stood indeed upon the door step wet to the skin and holding a large bundle in his arms which he extended wards me with the laconic it I received the burden but almost dropped it again so overcome was I with astonishment for if you will believe me it was nothing more nor less than a very I do not wonder that you are surprised Em- ma said Tom in answer to my start I suppose for I had not spoken Just wrap it op i something dry and I'll tell you all about it The poor little thing really needed to be taken care of for it was nearly wet through by the rain and its cunning red feet were cold as ice and while I did the best in my power for it Tom narrated the following You know I he begun that I have been up to Newark for a few days but you do not know that I returned this morning about five o'clock Just as I stepped from the cars I noticed a woman with a baby in her arms who was walking in the same direction with myself We had proceeded some distance when she turned suddenly and began to Billy Billy where is little Billy Have you seen a little boy with a blue jacket and a straw hat following me sir I replied in the negative Oh she exclaimed with every ance of genuine dear I must have left him behind in the Won't you be kind as to hold the baby not be gone two I run after him Oh Billy Billy I I never for one moment ed that the woman waa acting her alarm seemed so perfectly natural so I took the baby and she went after And stayed I I interrupted did not come replied Tom although I waited for two hours until that terrible rain come on when I concluded to bring the child here I declare I could not believe I had been taken in she was such a respectable looking woman I laughed How could you allow yourself to be imposed upon in such a shallow manner Tom V said John with an air of sage experience edifying to behold I should have seen through the trick at once I should have your design ia too wish to rid yourself of your offspring but you cannot de- me No you wouldn't I interrupted you would never even have thought of such a speech But Tom what do you intend to do with the baby And why did you not take it home to Jane in the first place Tom looked confused he said after a pause I have heard Jane express some peculiar opinions on such subjects and to tell the truth I did not know how she might take it I can't bear to take the child to the almshouse and I wish you would take charge of it until I can find a favorable opportunity to break the to Jane Just at present I would not really like to attempt it I was very very foolish or I never would have given my consent to such a thing but somehow against my own better judgment 1 acquiesced in the arrangement and when the storm had in some measure subsided Tom de- parted leaving the child ia my care Such an unmanageable ill-tempered baby was never seen before I do believe It cried and no wonder all night I was fairly worn out before morning After breakfast I examined the baby's clothes which Hepsiba bad washed and ironed They were of good quality and well made Evidently the poor child had not belonged to very poor people and had been properly taken oare of I was very much puzzled to account for its de- sertion After dressing and feeding the babe I laid down on my lounge in hopes of enjoying a little rest but scarcely had my head touched the pillow when Hepsiba informed me that I waa wanted in the parlor I obeyed summons and found Tom waiting ftr me He was in great trepidation was costing to spend the afternoon with no and he begged me very earnestly to keep the secret just ft little while I will tell her the whole story myself he pleaded but I must choose a fitting opportunity or she will never credit a word of it Jane gets a little out of sorts yon know now and Mien so don't tell her at there's a good girl I knew that sister-in-law was in the habit of having long sulky fits during which she laid IB wait as it were ready to pounce upon any Tom's faults and punish him for them to tke beat of her ability and I understood Tom's n mark But how shall 1 account for the I inquired Oh say that it has been left in your make excuse for its presence All I wish Is do not tell Jane until I ask you to I promised obedience but I must confess with many misgivings Sister-in-law came that afternoon as Tom had predicted She was in a very bad humor aad brought an intricate piece of in her basket There don't ask me how I was her first salutation No one who has to bear such things as I have can be well Dear me what has I inquired Don't ask replied sister-in-law He is your brother and I wont expose him I won't mention the time he comes home at and I'll say nothing about his temper but I will say what I bear no one else would put with for a moment And sister-in-law plied her with redoubled energy I was about to make some consolatory remark when Hepsiba opened the door and putting her head in exclaimed at the top of her voice reckon you'll her to come Mrs do nothin with that young nn There was no help for it now so I waa obliged to inform sister-in-law that a friend of mine had left a baby in my care for a few days Veil you must be of a very obliging sition to take care of so young a said sister-in-law It is more than I wouW You will never be thanked for and if it is ever sick for the next two years the fault will be laid on your shoulders Any must be crazy to leave a baby of that age for strangers to take care of You foolish good-natured ma I must say I began to be of her opinion at the more so as the child began to scream ately and manifest the greatest dislike and dis- gust to all present Various means of tion occupied the whole afternoon were tried in vain The child was evidently pining for its mother and would not be Just as the gentlemen arrived in the evening it sunk into an uneasy nap and I descended to the parlor Sister-in-law had taken Fanny on ier knee and Tom waa walking restlessly about the room while Psalter lounged on the sofa amd John looked out of the window Well that is a little baby isn't it were the first words I heard utter Yes replied the child What is the lady's name queried Jane I don't said Fanny but I guess Uncle Tout brought it you Uncle Tom brought the Aunty the night it stormed an- swered the unconscious little sprang to her feet Oh Tom you she cried have I ound yon out at And you too to think that you would countenance such in your own I've suspected something ftr a long time and Tom Tom Just listen one moment and III pleaded Tom Don't speak to answered Jane not one word will I listen to But you I cried Tom was going to tell yon all about it In a few days no need of an amid Jane the met speaks for itself If Tom brought that baby He did I ansi answered There are no buta about interrupted Jane hurrying on her things I am going home to ma and pa Such a scene Every one ing at the top of their voices and sister-in-law disregarding everything that was said and re- that she knew Ft all along and that she was going home to her parents In fact she did at length despite all our endeavors gain the street door and descended the steps ed by Tom whose agitation knew no bounds The twilight was melting into but t was still light enough to discern every feature and as the pair descended he steps another couple ran full tilt against them Instead of the usual half apology the female who was stouf and florid turned round looked full in Tom's face and collared him I know she cried It's James I knew him Hake him tell you what he has done with our baby Tom staggered back Thank he cried it is the baby's So you didn't mean to leave it after Mean to leave my answered the woman what do you mean 1 Tell me what you've done with the child or I'll choke After I'd caught Billy I came where I'd and yon wasn't thenT kidnapper Where is the baby the police Tour baby to safe ma'am said
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