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New Braunfels Herald-Zeitung (Newspaper) - July 18, 1997, New Braunfels, Texas 4A g HeraldZeitung p Friday July Opinion To talk with Managing Editor Margaret Edmonson about the Opinion page call 6259144 Ext 220 QUOTABLE When the history of media in the latter part of the 20th century is mitten it may well be concluded that we are in a golden age of Steve Rattner journalist D I T O R I County leaders deserve thanks for flood relief efforts Efforts by Comal County commissioners and County Judge Carter Casteel to get disaster relief for flood vic tims in this county did no go unheeded by the Federal Emergency Management Agency and residents of this county should be grateful for their efforts Casteel sent a letter to Gov George W Bush Tuesday a copy which was sent to FEMA asking for Comal County to receive the designation of disaster area The designation paves the way for relief to make its way to residents of this county who lost their homes and other property in the flooding that began July 21 Fiftyfive families homes and businesses were flood ed 14 families required temporary housing 75 homes were without water electricity or telephones for several days and 140 families were waterbound County Fire Marshal Milton Willman estimated the financial impact of the flood as at least Its going to be more than that because there were a lot more buildings and businesses that we didnt have dollar figures Willman said We were pretty happy to be included in the Many times it is easier to sit back and take what the federal and state governments send our way because we feel like there is nothing else we can do Comal County commissioners and Judge Casteel proved that there is much we can do when we make the effort and ask As elected officials they looked out for the best interests of the county s residents by securing needed funding Their efforts to get disaster relief will go a long way toward helping the flood victims rebuild their lives and their homes Todays editorial was written by HeraldZeitung Managing Editor Margaret Write us The New Braunfels HeraldZeitung welcomes letters on any public issue The editor reserves the right to correct spelling style punctua tion and known factual errors Letters should be kept to 250 words We publish only original mail addressed to the New Braunfels Her aldZeitung bearing the writers signature Also an address and a telephone number which are not for publication must be included Please cite the page number and date of any article that is mentioned Preference is given to writers who have not been published in the pre vious 30 days Mail letters to Letters to the Editor the New Braunfels HeraldZeitung Drawer 311328 New Braunfels Texas 781311328 Fax 830 6251224 New Braunfels HeraldZeitung Editor and Publisher Ext Managing Editor Ext Edmonson Marketing Director Ext Borchardt Classified Advertising Manager Ext Reininger Business Manager Ext Lee Hall Circulation Director Ext Ann Avery Pressroom Foreman Ext Parnell Published on Sunday mornings and weekday mornings Tuesday through Friday by the New Bntunfek HtraUZeuung USPS 377880 707 Lancia or Drawer 3 1 1328 New Brauntels Comai County Tx 781311328 Periodical postage paid by the New Braunfels HeraUZeitwig in New Brauntels Texas Carrier delivered in Comal and Guadalupe counties three months six months one year Senior Citizen Discounts by earner delivery only six months oiyj year Mail deliver outside Comal County in Texas three months six months one year Mail outside Texas six months one year Subscribers who have not received a newspafer by Tuesday through Friday or by on Sunday may call 830 or by 7 weekdays or by 1 1 on Sunday Opinion dHHm contact To submit letters and guest columns electronically by way of online services or Internet or to simply contact staff members the HeraldZeitungs address Is Solitude helps mothers find themselves Cotton candy That is what the career mom feels like most of the time She is spun of tiny filaments connecting her to her daughter home work friends all the myriad com mitments that seem to define her life When hands pull at the mass of fila ments they come apart leaving noth ing of substance behind A week ago the career mom packed up her daughter for a trip to Virginia with her father And the career mom began a week filled with a rare pre cious commodity which she had not known for 15 years solitude The week started out with a very long todo list stuck to the refrigera tor As it progressed though the list grew shorter Not because the items were accomplished but because one by one their importance diminished enough to earn them places on the sometime list meaning the Im going to put off doing this indefinite ly and eliminate worrying about it altogether The career mom could claim a few genuine accomplishments during her week of solitude She mastered a movement from a Ravel sonatine and one from a Mozart sonata After several tries she successfully reattached the rain gutter to the front of her house not without losing a minor skirmish to a shrub in the She taught her large young dog Dakota the meaning of the word down with about an 80 per cent success She reread a book The book was already dogeared underlined and wet around the edges Her mother had given it to her for her 21st birth day a little philosophy book written by Anne Morrow Lindbergh called Gift from the Lindbergh had six children and a writing career She also had substan tiallymore financial wherewithal than most Comal County residents She was able to do what every moth er deserves to do take two full weeks off each year to live in solitude at a cabin by the beach Some mothers might choose a cabin in the woods or a condo in the middle of a big city but the important component is the solitude Throughout her two weeks of soli tude and throughout her book Lindbergh peels away the layers of material complexity from her life and rediscovers who she is Using differ ent shells as metaphors she examines the ties binding her to those for whom she is responsible then sets them aside until only her self is left The pattern of our lives is essen tially Lindbergh says We must be open to all points of the com pass husband children friends home community stretched out exposed sensitive like a spiders web to each breeze that blows each call that Lindberghs gently wry humor sur faces in her musings I begin to understand why the saints were rarely married she says I am convinced it has nothing inherently to do as I once supposed with chastity or children It has to do primarily with Originally published in 1955 Lindberghs book contains surpris ingly fresh views on modern American society and womans role in it today more of us in America than anywhere else in the world have the luxury of choice between simplic ity and complication of she says And for the most part we who could choose simplicity choose com Few of us can afford two weeks of solitude at the beach But even an occasional ddy of true solitude where we have no goal but to be is not a mothers luxury it is a necessity Susan Flynt England is the HeraldZeitung news The Dittlinger Memorial Library has two copies of Gift from the Both are in circulation Recovery of alcoholism legacy is personal K Send address diajiges to the Avw Brautifvln HtraidZeitung Draw er 3 1 1 328 New Brauntels Tx 78 1 3 1 1 32S I am the grandchild of an alco holic This may not seem unique and its not but the impact this has had on my life has been profound My grandfather has been dead for 10 years now but still surviving him is his legacy of compulsive and addictive behavior patterns includ ing alcohol abuse drug abuse eat ing disorders depression worka holism codependency and anxiety disorder among others First mar riages in our family carry a divorce rate of 99 percent Dont let this fool you though This same legacy of descendants from another point of view include successful people who run their own businesses work for large cor porations manage banks teach school teach Sunday school write play competitive sports and are for the most part collegeeducated and beyond In other words these peo ple excel in general in many areas of their lives It is now estimated that 90 to 95 percent of us are adult children of dysfunctional families Many are adult children of alcoholics as char acterized in the bestselling book by Janet Woititz titled Adult Children of Today in History By The Associated Press Today is Friday July 18 the 199th day of 1997 There are 166 days left in the year Todays Highlight in History Fifty years ago on July 18 1947 President Truman signed the Presidential Succession Act which placed the Speaker of the House and the Senate President Pro Tempore next in the line of succession after the vice president On this date In 64 the Great Fire of Rome began In 1536 the authority of the pope was declared void in England In 1792 American naval hero John Paul Jones died in Paris at age 45 Michelle Barr Even if there is no chemical dependency in the family the entire family can operate just like an alco holic family if the rules that govern the sys tem are the same Adult Children of Alcoholics ACoAs and Grandchildren of Alcoholics GCoAs carry the genetic predispo sition toward an addictive personali ty This combined with learned behavior patterns passed down from generation to generation leads to the illnesses listed above Regardless of our symptoms or circumstances we are adult children of dysfunctional families because something happened to us a long time ago It happened more than once It hurt us We protected our selves the only way we knew how We are still protecting ourselves Only it isnt working anymore Who We Are Adult children of dysfunctional families operate in a world of extremes yet they always seek a healthy balance One moment we may feel lonely isolated and afraid Then we begin to feel enmeshed smothered and angry First of all we are people who hit a certain age and suddenly find that something is wrong that we can no longer fix by ourselves We are people who love our spouses and care deeply for our chil dren but find ourselves growing distant detached and fearful in these relationships Or we feel that every thing in our lives is perfect until our sons or daughters become chemical ly dependent bulimic run away from home or attempt suicide We abuse ourselves but take care of everyone else When we are unhap py we are terribly afraid to acknowledge it We constantly watch others to try to find out whats okay and what isnt We get stuck in lives our hearts never chose We sacrifice iur dignity for false security We are sun vors who deep down inside pray nat someday life will be more than just mere survival Adult children develop logical symptoms and physical symptoms Common manifestations include addictions compulsions unhealthy dependencies depres sion stress symptoms phobias and anxiety All our symptoms are unhealthy mechanisms that we use to keep from feeling our feelings Fixing Whats Wrong With Us A family is only as well as its sickest member Ten years ago I sought counseling for relationship issues and found myself being referred to a recovery program for codependency As I began to explore my own issues I found a connection to others in my family This allowed me to see a bigger picture and my place in it In recovery the focus must be on you This information is not for your husband wife lover children boss or employees Recovery from adult child issues is a personal experience According to John and Linda Friel coauthors of Adult Children The Secrets of Dysfunctional The most powerful way to help others into their own recovery is to simply live your own life of Michelle Barr is program coor the Comal Countys Womens In 1872 Britain introduced the concept of voting by secret ballot In 1927 Ty Cobb hit safely for the time in his career In 1932 the United States and Canada signed a treaty to develop the St Lawrence Seaway In 1936 the Spanish Civil War began as Gen Francisco Franco led an uprising of army troops based in Spanish North Africa In 1944 Hideki Tojo was removed as Japanese premier and war minister because of setbacks suffered by hh country in World War II In 1969 a car driven by Sen Edward M Kennedy plunged off a bridge on Chappaquiddick Island near Marthas Vineyard His passenger 28yearold Mary Jo Kopechne died In 1984 a gunman opened fire at a McDonalds fastfood restaurant in San Ysidro Calif killing 21 people before being shot dead by police Ten years ago President Reagan used his weekly radio address to call on Congress to give more aid to the Nicaraguan Contras Molly Yard was elected the new president of the National Organization for Women succeeding Eleanor Smeal Five years ago Britains opposi tion Labor Party chose John Smith as its leader replacing Neil Kinnock One year ago Recovery efforts continued off Long Island for the bodies of the 230 people who died in the fiery crash of TWA Flight 800 President Clinton urged Americans not to immediately assume the crash was the work of ter rorists Todays Birthdays Actor Hume Cronyn is 86 Comedian Red Skelton is 84 South African President Nelson Mandela is 79 Sen John Glenn DOhio is 76 Skating cham pion and commentator Dick Button is 68 Singer Screamin Jay Hawkins is 68 Authorjournalist Hunter S Thompson is 60 Movie director Paul Verhoeven is 59 Singer Dion DiMucci is 58 Actor James Brolin is 57 Singer Martha Reeves is 56 Blues guitarist Lonnie Mack is 56 Singer Ricky Skaggs is 43 Rock musician Nigel Twist The Alarm is 39 Actress Audrey Landers is 38 Actress Elizabeth McGovern is 36 Rock musician John Hermann Widespread Panic is 35
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