Friday, January 10, 1997

New Braunfels Herald Zeitung

Location: New Braunfels, Texas

Page: 4

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New Braunfels Herald-Zeitung (Newspaper) - January 10, 1997, New Braunfels, Texas 4 o HeraldZeitung g Friday January To talk with Managing Editor Micah Boyd about the Opinion page call 6259144 Ext 220 Q U O T A B L Evidence is not evidence until it comes from the not the 11 oclock Lance Ito jurist 1994 T O R i A L The selling of the presidency TV shopping network tapped to hawk inauguration knickknacks Dont have the time to go to Washington for President Clintons inaugural gala Dont worry Thanks to QVC you can still have a souve nier from the big event The inaugural committe has licensed the sale of every thing from hats Tshirts and coffee mugs to ultraexpensive commemorative items such as medals and jewelry to the home shopping channel All this in the name of helping to defray the budgeted of the second swear ing in of William Jefferson Clinton The committee receives a licensing fee that is built into the cost of each item that QVC sells Now theres nothing wrong with celebrating a new presi dency but a little luster has certainly been taken away from the office with this latest marketing foray Traditionally the expenses of an inauguration have been defrayed by the sale of tickets to various balls and the inau gural parade Does this mean that ticket sales are slow and there just isnt enough interest in the kickoff of the presidents second term Who knows One thing is for certain though this cant help Clintons already blackened image as a puppet of big money From inviting Chinese arms dealers to the White House to questionable foreign campaign contributions to hawking wares alongside celebrity spokespeople it appears that the current administration will do anything for a buck Its not like Clinton hasnt had to opportunity to bask in the glow of being elected to the nations highest office He had a big gala four years ago Can selling swatches of Oval Office carpet be far behind Todays editorial was written by HeraldZeitung Managing Editor Micah Write us The New Braunfels HeraldZeitung welcomes letters on any public issue The editor reserves the right to correct spelling style punctuation and known factual errors Letters should be kept to 250 words We publish only original mail addressed to the New Braunfels Herald Zeitung bearing the writers signature Also an address and a telephone number which are not for publication must be included Please cite the page number and date of any article that is mentioned Preference is given to writers who have not been published in the pre vious 30 days Mail letters to Letters to the Editor the New Braunfels HeraldZeitung Drawer 311328 New Braunfels Texas 781311328 Fax 210 6251224 New Braunfels HeraldZeitung Editor and Publisher Ext Toney Managing Editor Ext Boyd Director of Advertising Ext BantaScott Retail Advertising Manager Ext Osteen Classified Advertising Manager Ext Reininger Business Manager Ext Lee Hall Circulation Director Ext Ann Avery Pressroom Foreman Ext Parnell Published on Sunday mornings and weekday mornings Tuesday through Friday by the NewBmunftls HeraldZeitung USPS 377880 707 Lands or Drawer 3 1 1328 New Brawfe Is Coma County Tx 78 1 3 11 328 Periodical postage paid by the Braunfels in New Braunfels Texas Carrier delivered in Comal and Guadalupe counties three months six months year Senior Ciliwn Piscounis ty wrier delivery onjy six months on year Mail deljvejy outikfe Comal County in Texas three months six months one yew Mail outside Texas six months one year U Subscribers who have not received a newspaper by Tuesday through Friday on may C9IU2IO or weekdays or by II am on Sunday Draw Opinion MlfM contact submit letters and guest columns electronically by way of online services or Internet or to simply contact staff members the managing editors address is Mother Nature getting mankind back Maybe Mother Nature is getting humanity back In fact she may be especially perturbed by South Cen tral Texas humanity in particular Weve dumped trash into the ground water and air More and more species are dying out and evidence is mounting that Homo Sapiens are the culprit So just to remind us not to fool with her maybe Mother Nature is unleashing her fury micro scopic fury It could be a cold germ or maybe a flu virus or maybe mold spores or cedar pollen God for bid a combination thereof And Kablooee Accord ing to the American Medical Association Encyclo pedia of Medicine we have an involuntary con vulsive expulsion of air through the nose and mouth as a result of irritation of the upper respiratory tract we sneeze Healthcare pundits are telling us that were on a collision course with several nasty flu bugs The Encyclopedia Brittanica 15th Edition says that approximately 200 different strains of virus can cause influenza Cedar pollen counts can be so high that its a wonder the clouds of teeny irritants arent visible to the naked eye For those of us who have the misfortune to be violently allergic to mold Texas dirt itself can send us into nasal spasms 365 days a year Mother Natures micromarauders attack and the inevitable happens Pathologic changes occur in the mucous membrane that lines the nose the nasal sinuses the nasopharynx that may include tissue swelling congestion of blood and oozing of flu Brittanica says Ouch Or rather achew Judging from the ambient sound in the Herald Zeitung office rhinitis inflammation of the nose is rampant A dizzying array of sounds can accompany that convulsive expulsion of A few are the normal achews and kachoos Judging from the resonant quality of some sneezes hidden operatic talent abounds Some sneezes are an extended uninhibited honk Hoooonnnnk or Brrrrrronk An animated cartoon rendering of that sneeze would show the sneezer being jet propelled backward by the honking sneeze Family members have been known to shake entire twostory homes by honking in the shower Some sneezes have a reedy timbre like huge con trabassoons Brnrzhhhhhh An animated cartoon Susan Flynt England Guest Columnist of these would include the hand kerchief being blown forward flapping in waves A comic strip would show the entire person in little wavy lines vibrating on the sneeze pitch By far the most painful sneeze to watch is the implosion sneeze It comes in several varieties but the end result is the same the observer wants to hide his eyes because hes afraid hes going to watch the sneezer blow his own head off They all start by inhaling huge Amounts of air The room is drained of oxygen and a win dowrattling honk is sure to fol low But no instead its a little nnnnnnnt or per haps a tiny eceeenk All that compressed air is blown into the sneezers head turning it beet red and burst ing gazillions of cell walls Implosion sneezers may be incredibly polite or shy or inhibited But surely a little honest phlegm is preferable to the sneezers shattered ear drums and blood vessels Splitting atoms and trips to the moon aside resis tance to the micromarauders is often futile Brit tanica says The nasal discharge is the first warning The secretions become watery clear and excessive Later they increase in mucus To quote further would cross the boundaries of this familyoriented column The kids could take it but their parents The victim has a fullblown headinajar upper respiratory mess Its time to go home pile up the blankets brew a pot of hot tea and crawl into bed Since your brain is too muddled for an adult book try reading one of your kids instead An old but enduring offering from A A Milnes Now We Are Six is appropriate Sneezles Christopher Robin had wheezles and sneezles They bundled him into his bed They gave him what goes With a cold in the nose And some more for a cold 78I3M338 In the head They wondered if wheezles Could turn into measles I f sneezles would turn Into mumps They examined his chest For a rash and the rest Of his body for swellings and lumps They sent for some doctors In sneezles and wheezles To tell them what ought To be done All sorts of conditions Of famous physicians Came hurrying round at a run They all made a note Of the state of his throat They asked if he suffered from thirst They asked if the sneezles Came after the wheezles Or if the first sneezle Came first They said If you teazle A sneezle or wheezle A measle may easily grow But humour or pleazle The wheezle or sneezle The measle will certainly They expounded the reazles For sneezles and wheezles The manner of measles when new They said If he freezles In draughts and in breezles Then PHTHEEZLES May even Christopher Robin Got up in the morning The sneezles had vanished away And the look in his eye Seemed to say to the say Now how to amuse them today Literary sources for this column came from the Dittlinger Memorial Susan Flynt England is a colunjnistfor the HerT j Today in History The Associated Press Today is Friday Jan 10 the 10th day of 1997 There are 355 days left in the year Todays Highlight in History On Jan 10 1776 Thomas Paine published his influential pamphlet Common In calling for American independence from England Paine wrote Everything that is right or reasonable pleads for On this date In 1861 Florida from the Union In 1863 Condons Metropolitan the worlds first underground passenger railway opened to the pub lic the Treaty of Versailles into effect In 198 the Soviet Union ordered the exile of Leon Trotsky In 1946 firs QeneraJ of United Nations convened in London In years ago the musical fantasy Fm ians with music by Burton Lane and lyrics by Harburg opened on Broadway In 1957 Harold Macmillan became prime minis ter of Britain following the resignation of Anthony Eden In 1967 Massachusetts Republican Edward W Brooke the first blak elected to the Senate by popular vote took his seat In 1967 National Educational Television fore runner of the Public Broadcasting Service operated as a true network for the first time as it carried Presr ident Johnsons State of the Union address In 1984 the United States and the Vatican estab lished full diplomatic relations for the first time in more than a century Ten years ig9 Saying he felt just fine after recent surgery President Ronald Reagan warned in his weeklyradio address thaj he was ready to do battle over W new trilliondollar budget Five y wri ago President George Bush returned home from his grueling 12day journey to Australia Singapore South Korea and Japan boptingof 4ra matte progress on trade issues One ywr ago Russian troops allowed a convoy of Chechen rebels and 160 hostages to head for Chech nya then surrounded them in the village of mayskaya After a fiveday standoff Russian troops launched a massive military assault that resulted in the deaths of most of the rebels and some of the Todays Birthdays Jazz musician Max Roach is 72 Singer Gjsele MacKenzie is 70 ppera singer Sherrill is 62 Rock singermusician Ronnie Hawkins is 62 Baseball HaHofFamer Willie McCovey is 59 Singer Scott McKercde is 58Singer Frank Sinatra Jr is 53 Singer Rod Stewart is Rock singermusicianlPonaWfagen Steely Dan is 49 Singer Pat Benatar is 44 Singer Shawn Colvin is 39 Rock singermusician Curt Kirkwood Meat Puppets is Rappet Chris Smith Kris KJOSS is 18 ThPWgnl for f lSex is the sauce whjfh an adolescent national palate sprinkles n every course in the Mary Day Winnj American writer