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New Braunfels Herald Zeitung: Wednesday, December 18, 1996 - Page 5

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   New Braunfels Herald-Zeitung (Newspaper) - December 18, 1996, New Braunfels, Texas                                HeraldZeitunq n Wednesday December 18 1996 n 5A Preparation for a family Christmas can help ensure a silent night Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the holiday season that very special time of ihe year when we join with our loved ones in sharing traditions such as trying to get through the festive family Christmas dinner without murdering your second cousins third wifes 5 yearold stepson who because he had forgotten to take his Ritalin threw your favorite aunts cat in the back of the pickup where your brotherinlaw had chained his pit bulldog The gaiety can start when you tell your greatgreat grandfather how much he enjoyed the Christmas dinner Inform him as soon as he arrives His severe case of oldtimers disease will cause him to agree with you and he will take a fivehour nap What fun Parlor games are also enjoyable especially when everybody plays tape the mouth of a This game brings great merriment to the season no matter which mother inlaw is chosen but it becomes even more enchanting when you tape the mouths of several This can be a dangerous game though Make certain that the mothersitv law chosen for this game dont have nasal congestion A taped mouth can cause a person with a cold to turn blue and the turkey might get cold while you are waiting for the ambulance to arrive Household harmony becomes John I Walker Guest Column more likely by having everyone sign a notarized contract listing subjects that cannot be discussed before during or after dinner The list of verboten subjects should include politics religion the abortion issue AIDS environmental impact studies the economy and the Simpson murder case Health topics should be limited to current life threatening emergencies disease cannot be mentioned unless someone falls unconscious at the dinner table No discussion comparing labor pains with pain from shingles will be tolerated Aunt Inez cannot contrast the weight of her gall stone with the poundage of Uncle Ikes kidney stone To liven the dinner conversation write noncontroversial questions on strips of paper fold the paper strips and place them in a bowl from where everyone can draw a question Cross Lutheran wins grants for child care training APPLETON WIS Cross Lutheran School and Child Care Center has been awarded two grants from Aid Association for Lutherans The grants are designed to help the staff of Lutheran early childhood centers pursue professional staff development opportunities and resource center expansion These grants were provided through the AAL Lutheran Early Childhood Education Grant Program which was offered to more than Lutheran early childhood care facilities throughout the United States AAL based in Appleton is one of the nations leading fraternal benefit societies Founded in 1902 AALs purpose is to enable Lutherans to help themselves and others AAL accomplishes this by providing scholarship and grant programs volunteer opportunities insurance protection and selfhelp educational programs Submitted by Cross Lutheran School and Child Care Center Womens Healthcare Center Proudly Announces the Association of Dr Kevin Blair Board Certified in Obstetric s and Gynefcology With Thomas D Elmore Now Scheduling Patients for January 1997 6250474 Southwestern Bell has erroneously omitted our listing under HardwareRetail from its new directory Please cut out this ad and place it between pages 124 and 125 of your new Yellow Pages HARDWARE PLUMBING V ELECTRICAL HOME GARDEN TOOLS PRACTICAL GIFTS FOR ALL OCCASIONS 1857 246 West San Antonio Street New Braunfels Texas 78130 6066707 Discussion topics could include favorite books movies school subjects and travel destinations This exercise will prove that your family is as boring and limited as you expected Meals will be more pleasant if family members are invited to tell stories from the past Holiday memories such as the time Uncle Bob found a Christmas parking space in the same time zone as the mall are real heartwarmers Time goes faster if you record these stories on the video camera After dinner the family can gather around and watch the results on television Viewing the anecdotes wont take long but plan for several hours discussion as you explain how your camera makes everyone look older fatter and uglier than they really arc Remember that you wont please everyone Adolescents especially You cant get a teenager to answer questions any better than you can teach a pig to sing Never mention his height weight hair length clothes school work extra curricular activities social or romantic life plans for the future current events or philosophical ideas Other than that he will discuss just about anything Letting him come to dinner late and leave early is a good idea Hosting an unrelated holiday guest helps eliminate family arguments This is similar to bringing a date home for the very first time livcryone is on his best behavior aiming to impress This way an outsider can sometimes prevent the usual family squabbles and rude behavior If you arc uncertain that a mystery guest will help prevent misbehavior invite an outsider who is deaf blind and mute that way the community will receive no unfavorable reports that could ruin your family reputation John Ingram Walker lives in the New Braunfels area and writes a weekly column for the Herald 50 Off Area Rugs LARGE SELECTION R OOAD 6253477 INTERIORS 943 Walnut New Braunfels 3DAY SALE Dec 19 20 21 Credit Cards Welcome Visa AmEx Disc In case of error store prices Spirits ENJOY FINE WINE SHOPPING In our temperaturecontrolled Wine Room Extensive SingleMalt Scotch Selection 651 Suite A Walnut New Braunfels HEB Center 6060052 Canadian Club BLEND 8r Jack Daniels Black Bourbon Limit One COdNAC 750 Crown Royal Canadian 750 ML 99 Limit One STOLICHNAYA 175 VODKA so SCOTCH Limit One 750 ML CORDIALS BELLOWS VODKA No Limit 750 Ml SINCLE MALT SCOTCH SPECIALS Balvenie 12 Yr Glenfiddich Glenlivet Oban Lagavulin Baileys Irish Cream Amaretto Di Saronno Grand Marnier 99 Sheep Dip 8 Yr BEER 12 LN NR Corona 12 Pak 99 Shiner Bock or Blonde 750 MI WHITES Hess Select Estancia Clos Du Bois Chard Columbia Crest Chard Turning Leaf Beringer IINK WINE SELECTIONS 750 Ml AUSTRALIAN Lindemans Lindemans Cab Rosemount sgw CHAMPAGNE SPARKLING WINE Tattinger La Francois Roederer Brut M Rossi Asti Spumate Korbel Brut Xtra Dry Ballatore Gran Spumate Cooks 34J Andre PORTS Warres TaylorFladgate IstEst Harveys Bristol Creme 8iy Extensive Vintage Tawny Port Selection RED L Martini Merlot Columbia Crest Merlbt Rodney Strong Cab Sauv Beringer Camay Leavu CHILEAN Santa Rita 120 Chard Cab SPANISH Marques De Caceres Bodegas Monte Ciclo Rioja Red FRENCH Latour Montagny Jadot Beaug Village Many More Selections to Choose From in our TempControlled Wine Rooms at All Sea Zars Stores Marlboro pk SURGEON GENERALS WARNING Quitting Sinotaig Now Reduces Swious Risks U Your Hultn Carlo Rossi 4Ltr WINE WINK L Sebastiani Courvoisier Conchay Toro I tULJILA WHIbKtY OIN tit   

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