New Braunfels Herald Zeitung, May 15, 1996, Page 4

New Braunfels Herald Zeitung

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Publication name: New Braunfels Herald Zeitung

Location: New Braunfels, Texas

Pages available: 319,437

Years available: 1952 - 2013

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New Braunfels Herald Zeitung (Newspaper) - May 15, 1996, New Braunfels, Texas t u n q ■To Wk ¥i#i Managing Ector Doug Loveday about Hie Opa eon page, cal 625-9144. art. 21 or denies your right to gum. Alice Waker author 1983 D i T O R I A LVoice of outrageBurundi atrocities brought to light after ABC airs story, photos from Bob Krueger Bob Krueger fielded questions from Nightline’s Ted Koppel two weeks ago about the atrocities that continue to occur in the African nation of Burundi. As US. mbaasador to that country, Krueger was privy to information about government killings that have increased in ferocity and number Bul he was abo an eye-witness to the carnage that followed attacks by the ethnic Tutsi-led army and rebel Hutus. And with photographs he personally shot at the scene of massages, New Braunfels native Bob Krueger detailed for America the face of what US. officials have called “national suicide.** That aegmcnt on ABC has apparently so moved members of the Clin-ton Administration that they sent two top US. diplomats to the capital of Burundi — Bujumbura — to meet with government leaders. The diplomatic dialogue, however, was mostly one-way. National Security Advisor Anthony Lake said if the killing persists in Burundi,    or if any group seizes power by force, you should know tint the United States will see to it that they are isolated by the international community and feel the full weight of international law.** According to rn AP story, the Burundi army killed 15,000 people last yam, displacing mother 200,000. Since 1983, more than 100,000 have died in ethnic clashes. Kmagwfr stint as mibamirtor of Burundi hasbeen well document-ed. While travelling to sn alleged massacre site, his convoy was From jungle cover, “unknown assailants** fired hundreds of rounds at die ambassadors vehicle convoy. Among the military guard supposedly protecting Krueger, not one soldier fired back at the attackers. The only person to return fire was an American accompanying Krueger. Ith obvious who the target was. Krueger ii activities in Burundi chronicling fighting there were well known among government leaders. So was his vocal and very public anticum of the army. Now his weak has reached the cars of Americans and the US. government But instead of bullets, Krueger is receiving accolades for his enons. They are well deserved (Todays editorial was written by Managing Editor Doug Love day.)Write us • • • The New Braunfels Herald-Zeitung welcomes letters on any public jesus. Tbs editor reaffirm the right to correct spelling, style, punctua-tion and knawn factual anan. Latten should ba kept to 250 wwds Wa publish only original mail addressed to the New Braunfels Herald-Zeitung bearing the writer^ signature. Abo, an address and a telephone number, which ara not to publication, must be included, flame cite the page tM|w^Mir awl Ain rf any article that is ntffttkxwd Pratomra ie given to writers who have not been published in the pnviouaSOd^a. Mad lectors tot Letters to tho Editor do the New Braunfels Herald-Zeitung F.O. Drawer 8X1828 Now Braunfels, Tom 78131-1328 Wax: (210) 825-1224 New BraunfelsHerald-Zeitung Editor and Publisher...........................................................Doug    Toney Managing Editor...........................................................Doug    Loveday Retail Advertising Director.............................................Jack Osteen Accounting Manager........................................................Mary    Lee Ha!Circulation Director....................................................Carol Ann Avery Preeeroom Foreman...........................................................Billy    Parnell City Editor............................................................... Roger    Croteau AMMmkI an Seeds? mornings and weekday morning* Tuesday through friday by the Ziimf (USPS377-ta0)707UadsSL,orP.O.I>wier3ll328,Ncw BcMMfeta. Coml County, TI 78131-1328. Second ciao pottage paid by the New Bromids HetaU-ZeUmt m New Braunfels, Texas Carta drtvaed ie Cowl sad Guadalupe counties: three monde, $2030; six mood*. S37; oat ym.Sft. Seek* Grim Discounts by earner delivery only: six months, $33; one year, 162. Mail delivery outside Conal County in Texas: three month*, $30.30; ais anam, $53; one year, $10330. Mail outside Texas: «ix month*, STO; one yeer, SI 18.25. Inheri'tim who have not received s newspaper by 5:30 pm Tuesday rtvoufh friday or by 7:30 am oa Sunday may cell (210) 625-9144 or by 7 pm weekdays or by ll un PORMASnt: Scad address changes to the New Braunfels HeroU-Zeiamg, PJO. Draw-sr 311321, Wear lotfeh, Tx. 71131-1321 Opinion Online contact ■ To submit letters and guest columns electronically by way of online services or Internet, or to simply contact staff members, the managing editor’s address is DLovedaynAOL.com. Body functions just too personal I have boa smug here grappling with the thought provoking question of which of the following would be the worst fate imaginable: (I) being locked in a room with a television showing a continuous loop of “GiPiganfe Island” re-tuns sponsored by local tire compeniev, (2) being forced to roll around shirtless on the floor of a barbershop; or (3) being trapped in the window seat of an airplane next lo a woman who believes that you are sincerely interested in hearing all about her colon blockage. Tins is just the sort of question that humor columnists aflovre the worid spend a gnat deal of tone try-ing lo answer. This willer is especially susceptible lo this sort of musing after spending a brutal tax season contending with such mind numbing questions as whether the client should make an election under Internal Revenue Code Section 195 to capitalize stat up costs and amortize them over a period of sixty months. But, back to the question at hand. On the one hand, nothing could be more flagrantly stupid— and therefore sure lo send the viewer into an stomping rage—than “Gilligan’s Island”, except for the egregious aforementioned commercials. But really, this is a circumstance which could be solved rather easily, assuming that the party in question is as heavily armed as most Texans are nowadays. It would be a simple matter to blast the television to smithereens, leaving a smoking {tile of semi-conductors on tile floor. Adios, Gilligan. Problem solved. On the other hand, no torture could be as exquisite as bring covered with loose hair clippings. But really, how often does anyone ever have to take off his shirt and roll around the barbershop? Almost never. You can keep your shirt on if you want Therefore, I hare concluded that the worst imaginable fate is option number (3). In fact after only a few minutes of listening to your seatmate’s mono Charles Allen logue, you would surely be thinking to yourself, “lf I just pop this little emergency handle under the window, I could get away.” Plunging 30,000 feet lo a horrible death wouldn't seem that bad, really. Far too few people appreci-a*6 jus* how little others want to hear about their intimate body W    cl    functions. Not only do I not want v    ‘    I    to hear about anyone's colon fc    blockage, I don’t really want to ▼    M    **    reminded    that they even hare a colon. WAKE UP, AMERICA! No one wants to think about your colon, or even your semi-colon! Alright? Not only that, bitt I also do not care to hear the graphic details of any other personal health problems. Please spare me tile description of your hemorrhoids, constipation, diarrhea, urinary tract infections, yeast infections, bladder troubles, prostate enlargement, testicular pain, breast tenderness, cramping, heavy days, light days, double-stamp days, sexual dysfunction, sexual malfunction, or sexual multi-function. Tell it to yow doctor, if you just have to, but leave me out of this. Besides being way too personal, such disclosures inevitably produce tile most boring conversations in the world. Complainer. “So. Okay. You know that croupy feeling you get sometimes? Like your stomach is all ralph and stuff? I’m like, ‘Ewwwwwlf And then I notice that I’m like coughing up blood and stuff, and I go, ‘No way’, but I really was, so then I go to tile doctor and he goes, ‘What seems to be the trouble?’ and I’m like, ‘Duh!* You understand what I’m saying? And he goes, ‘You may hare to miss the prom', and I'm like, ‘As if!’...” Listener “That’s great, but...” Complainer “So I get to the prom and 1’iri all hanging out and stuff, and this guy comes up and goes, ‘Hey, you’re Uke green’ and I go, ‘Ha! You should have seen me earlier when I was hurling.’ And he’s like, ‘Aaaghhh’, so I’m almost sure he really likes me a lot and...”    * Listener (kilUng self) “Gurmkk!!!” As boring as it is to listen to someone’s health troubles, try listening to a long diatribe about How much a hospital charges, and how little Medicare pays, and how stupid the claims clerics all are, and How many mistakes they make, and how long it takes til get it all settled, and how in Canada anyone can get a heart transplant for the cost of a Big Mac, and how these insurance companies are all in cahoots with the Trilateral Commission to form a world govemment,%tc. These bores make it difficult for those of us *ho hare some really interesting stories to tell. Like^or example, the time I was playing golf over at Ptifcan Valley and I had already birdied the first hole by chipping in from off the green, and when we got to theHee on the par 3 third hole, one of my playing companibns goes, “Well, are you going to do it again?” and Tm like, “Well, I’m going to try.” And so I visualized^ approximately 175 yard downhill shot and mentally calculated the effect of the wind and relative hunfcd-ity and phase of the moon and finally chose a se<en iron and...    9 Hey, wait! I'm telling you about my hole-in-riie! Stop! LET GO OF THAT HANDLE!    n (Charles T. Allen is a New Braunfels, Texas OPA and humorist who responds to people's personal health stories with fascinating tales about his lovable cat The man has slides.)    & ►od cf »v xjevm wot to vtusood bstouts slqo^q to o ♦V til w 0 fit *£ 01 •q o J if) U.S. threatens to hit China with punitive "SJT Ai ti) a By MARTIN CRUTSINGERAP Economics Writer WASHINGTON (AP) — The United States and China are edging closer to a full-blown trade war in a fight over copyright piracy that American companies claim is costing diem $2.3 billion in lost sales of computer programs, movies and music. The administration was scheduled to release today a target list of $3 billion in Chinese products that could be subject to punitive tariffs of I OO percent after a 30-day waiting period. Administration officials, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said about $2 billion of the target list would include clothing and textiles, with the other $ I billion representing electronic products and other manufactured goods.Today In HistoryBy The Associated Press Today is Wednesday, May 15, the 136th day of 19%. There are 230 days left in the year. Today’s Highlight in History: On May 15,1972, Democratic presidential candidate George C. Wallace was shot and left paralyzed while campaigning at a Laurel, Md, shopping center. Wallace’s assailant, Arthur Bremer, was sentenced to 63 years in prison, although the sentence was later reduced On this date: In 1682, English navigator Bartholomew Gos-nold came upon Cape Cod. In 1886, poet Emily Dickinson died in Amherst, Mass. In 1911, the U.S. Supreme Court ordered the dis-solution of Standard Oil Co., ruling it was in violation of the Sherman Antitrust Act. In 1918, U.S. airmail began service between Washington, Philadelphia and New York. After a 30-day comment period, the administration said it would select about $2 billion in goods from among the two groups that would be hit with IOO percent punitive tariffs. The comment pcnod gives both countries a chance to resolve the dispute before the sanctions take effect However, Chinese officials have rejected U.S. assertions that they are not living up to a 199S agreement. They have vowed to retaliate with their sanctions of their own in a tit-for-tat trade fight that would heighten tensions further between the two countries. Although the Clinton administration has tried to maintain good ties with China, the world’s most populous nation and a growing economic power, relations have been strained by a series of issues, including China’s sale of nuclear technology to Pek in 1930, Ellen Church, the first airline stewardess, went on duty aboard a United Airlines flight between San Francisco and Cheyenne, Wyo. In 1940, nylon stockings went on general sale for tire first time in tire United States. In 1942, gasoline rationing went into effect in 17 states, limiting sales to three gallons a week to nonessential vehicles. In 1948, hours after declaring its independence, the new state of Israel was attacked by Transjordan, Egypt, Syria, Iraq and Lebanon. In 1%3, U.S. astronaut L. Gordon Cooper blasted off aboard Faith 7 on the final mission of tire Project Mercury space program. In 1970, Phillip Lafayette Gibbs and James Earl Green, two black students at Jackson Sate University in Mississippi, were killed when police opened fire during student protests. In 1988, the Soviet Union began withdrawing its troops from Afghanistan. Ten years ago: Searchers on Oregon's Mount Hood found two teen-age survivors of a hiking expedition that became trapped in a whiteout blizzard. istan and Beijing’s threats against Taiwan. ', While IOO percent tariffs would have tire effector eliminating roughly $2 billion in Chinese prodi^js from the U.S. market, administration officials said they would be careful to select items that could'Se easily replaced cither from domestic producers or euler countries. However, representatives of U.S. retailers cffl-lenged that assertion. “There simply is no easy or cost-effective wa) replace the goods on which the U.S. will these tariffs,” said Trace Mullin, president of' National Retail Federation. He contended that clothing products were be} unfairly singled out “for the benefit of Hollywc moguls” whose movies and records are being ] cd.    , id Nine other climbers died. Five years age; President Bush took & Queen Elizabeth ll to a baseball game betw Baltimore Orioles and the Oakland Athletics, after two innings; the A’s won, 6-3. French Francois Mitterrand appointed Edith Cresson France's first female premier.    -s One year ago: Dow Coming Corp. filed for Obi ter 11 bankruptcy protection, citing potentially apx nomica! expenses from liability lawsuits. Today’s Birthdays: Actress Constance Gun tilings is 86. Singer Eddy Arnold is 78. Playwrigl Peter Shaffer is 70. Playwright Anthony Shaffer is 7( Playwright Paul Zindel is 60. Actress-singer Ann Maria Alberghetti is 60. Singer Trim Lopez is 5^ Singer Lenny Welch is 58. Actress-singer Laini Kazan is 56. Country singer K.T. Oslin is 54. Singei songwriter Brian Eno is 48. Thought tor Today: “People love to talk but hat to listen.” — Alice Duer Miller, American authc (1874-1942). A ;

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