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New Braunfels Herald Zeitung Newspaper Archive: February 10, 1995 - Page 6

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Publication: New Braunfels Herald Zeitung

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   New Braunfels Herald-Zeitung (Newspaper) - February 10, 1995, New Braunfels, Texas                                6A1 HeraldZeitung Friday Feb Church Life 1 To talk with Managing Editor I Mark Lyon about Church Life call 6259144 ext 21 Church Life Giving help to the separated and divorced More than half of Ameri cas marriages are dissolving in divorce or separation according to the University of Wisconsin What can be said to pro vide hope to someone whose marriage has reached the terminal stage How can persons who are separated Michael divorced or enduring a trou bled second marriage find MCManiJS useful advice Here are some suggestions drawn from my newly revised book Marriage Savers How To Help Your Friends and Family Avoid Divorce First if you are can rebuild your marriage Thats not what the world says of course Even pastors advise the separated Get on with your But what does that mean Forget your partner of years or decades and look for someone else This is tragic foolish and unbiblical advice Divorce is universally harmful to children and to most of the adults involved Judith Wallerstein wrote that even a decade after divorce most people suffer from loneliness anxiety or The divorced are twice as likely to suffer heart disease stroke hypertension and cancer Some are happier after divorce and remarry But three fifths of second marriages fail Therefore the church should help the separat ed to reconcile with spouses Approximately five million couples or 10 percent of all cur rently married couples in the United States have experienced a separation and reconciliation in their wrote Howard Weinberg in Journal of Marriage and the Feb 1994 And he says a third of women attempting a reconciliation succeed And if the church gets involved the odds get much better The best single step is for the separated couple to attend a weekend retreat for troubled mar riages called RetrouVaille French for Rediscov a Catholic layled movement open to all faiths In Fort Worth 70 percent of the 817 cou ples who attended through 1993 were living 70 percent rebuilt their marriages Alicia and Bob Waning who direct Retrou vaille in Northern Virginia were attendees when they heard a backfromthebrink couple tell how they healed a marriage after both had cheat ed on each other That gave me hope We nev er did Alicia recalls Bob adds It helped me heal my brokenness and I learned to trust in Alicias basic To leam more call 7134551656 Another possibility is a course created by Jim Talley one of Americas foremost marriage It is best led by couples who have rebuilt their marriages It is helpful to the separated even if one partner doesnt participate Rule one is Do not even if ones part ner has run off with someone else By remaining faithful to ones marital vows the possibility of reconciliation is held open Often a departed spouse returns willing to try not if the other is dating The wounded partner needs to rebuild his or her selfesteem at four levels spiritually emo tionally lovingly and financially Bible study is essential The course involves writing in a work book and having it reviewed by a mentor couple which helps one to regain emotional control To leam more call 4057892900 Regrettably most churches do nothing for the divorced though divorce can be devastating People feel ripped apart raw and angry Whats needed is a divorce recovery workshop that can give practical advice on how to rebuild their lives and put them into a support group nur tured by those who have recovered from divorce The First Assembly of God in Rockford Illi nois created such a workshop that has helped people since 1983 Your church can create a similar oasis for the divorced wounded How A remarkable series of 13 videos by DivorceCare an interdenominational ministry based in Raleigh North Carolina has been pro duced which taps the wisdom of Americas most knowledgeable experts such as Jim 79 average people who talk about their pain and recovery It includes a detailed manual on orga nizing DivorceCare For more information call 8004897778 Finally what if you remarried and have stepchildren Have you found you are living through unexpected horrifying explosions A kid screams You are not my mother Youre my wicked stepmother Roswell Georgia United Methodist Church has created a remarkable answer a Stepfamily Support Group that meets biweekly It has cut the stepfamily divorce rate from 65 percent to 5 percent The information above comes from a new chapter of Marriage Savers Helping the Sepa rated Divorced and Michael McMunus is a syndicated colum FRIENDSHIP My Wednesday starts before rational people reach for their first cup of Java I shower in the dark dont want to wake up too quickly and never hit the light switch until I am forced to put the razor to my cheek Before a ray of sun shine hits the deck I Dennis Gallaher am gone usually running late because I took one too many shots at the snooze alarm I am not a morning person Fact is Im not a night owl either And I like to take naps in the afternoon I guess that just makes me a sleep person But nothing could keep me from this standing appoint ment Not even my love affair with dark rooms and warm bed covers Because by I am receiving one of the greatest gifts that anyone can be given The gift of friendship Over the years we have bounced from the church sanctuary to an occasional home and finally to Hill Country Cafe But no matter where we wind up the coffee is always hot and the friendship rich Through the years the topics and laces have changed but one constant has remained the same Each early Wednesday I receive the encour agement that only true friends can give Social scientists tell us that loneliness is the number one pain in the soul of America To no ones surprise youth gangs are prevalent because they provide a sense of belonging that young people no longer find in families Translated that means a cure for loneliness Though divorce is one of the most traumatic events that a person can endure 75 elect to remarry In fact a divorced person has a greater likelihood of marrying a second time than a nevermar ried person for the first time And all because of loneliness And here is Gallahers unscientific study Pass by any place that serves coffee in New Braunfels between the hours of six and ten in the morning and you will find groups of folks yakking it up and solving the worlds problems All because of our Godgiven need for friendship We fight to the grave the nagging thief called loneliness dont we When I was in college I worked for a time at a nursing home My first day on the job one of the nurses asked me to help move a resident who was close to death in order to place clean sheets on the bed I had never been close to a dying person in my life and was vainly curious about the whole affair The old lady didnt respond as we moved her this way and that in her bed Her eyes barely followed us out of the room But my heart was pricked I knew that I could not allow this person to die without even a prayer being uttered So on my break I walked back into the dying womans room Placing my hand on the womans head I began to pray out loud and without shame Imagine my shock when I felt another hand on mine and heard another voice beginning to amen my prayer If the old lady was dying it was merely for lack of a friend Her sickness was acute loneliness A condition incidentally that all have the power to heal Granny Smith and I soon became fast friends She was an oldtime Pentecostal saint whose family had abandoned her to the nursing home and never and I mean never visited And all she really wanted was to be called Granny and for someone to hold her hand for a bit She was lonely and without a friend and I a nineteenyear old college student would do just fine I was her lifeline All because she needed a friend and I volunteered for the job Remember the story of the Last Supper Jesus is preparing the apostles for the tragedy of the cross One of the most important things he tells them though is about friendship Not dying or suffering or rising from the dead But friendship It was foremost in His mind because He knew it would bring the greatest comfort during the painful days ahead He said it this way No longer do I call you servants but I have called you friends for all things that 1 heard from My Father I have made known to Friendship goes beyond kiss on the cheek niceties Friendship goes deep It is abiding like a wellworn path in the woods It is common and everyday but it is the crown jewel of life It is not expensive to give but is the most precious of all gifts to receive And everyone who has been called friend by Jesus has the great privilege and task to do the same to others So heres to my Wednesday morning buddies Thank you for your friendship You consistently give me hope and encour age me to dream big Thank God that you are my friends Bet youre wondering about Granny Smith She didnt die At least not then Each day I would go in and talk and pray She was back in her wheelchair scooting around in the hallway in no time The nurses said that she ral never could tell about these old people But I know better It was friendship that did it It is one daily vitamin that she couldnt do without Can you Dennis Gallaher is a guest columnist and is pastor of Freedom Fellowship Church in New United We Build Phenomenal growth forces Oakwood Baptist to begin million expansion By MARK LYON Managing Editor About two years ago members of Oak wood Baptist Church began realizing that one day they would have to have more room more space However back then they probably didnt figure the need to expand would come as soon as it did Now two years later with with at least three Sunday school classes meeting off cam pus special committee members and members of the congregation have moved to meet the need for more space with a million expansion project which includes the con struction of a new youth education facility a structure which will more than double the size of the existing church building For two years weve seen considerable said Dudley Blakeney Associate Pastor and Music Director Since the arrival of Pastor Ray Still two years ago weve just seen our membership grow and grow We formed a facilities committee in the spring of93 to determine the best use of our space We did a lot of rearranging and moving things around to make the best of what we had But soon it was just inevitable that we would have to build The expansion project actually the first phase of a threepart project will give the church a much needed facility for an ever growing youth education program The new structure will include more than square feet while the existing church is square feet Later the church hopes to build a new sanctuary and perhaps an complex An expanded parking lot to be locat ed slightly behind the church is also in the works Blakeney said the church has set a three year goal to have the project paid for with more than having already been pledged or raised toward that goal The education facility could be finished as soon as October of this year That is pretty he said It could very well be November before we move in but were shooting for Growth within the church has caused the churchs facilities committee to become creative in planning Two adult Sunday school class es have been meet ing at Schwamkrugs Steakhouse while another has been At the ground break ing ceremonies are from left Pastor Ray Still Don Hill archi James Schmeltekopf Bible Study Bill McCormick Chair of the United We Build Committee and Jack Chisholm Chair of the Facilities using the ROTC facilities at New Braunfels High School There was some talk about expanding or building a new sanctuary Blakeney said But our real need first was for a new education building Weve been able to sched ule two morning worship services on Sunday which has helped our worship accommoda tions Were having to project for the same type growth in the future trying not to be overly confident but at the same time not being to conservative Were excited about this and hope to get started as soon as possi Members of the Facilities Committee breaking ground at ceremonies held recently include from left Joe Perron Bill Jones James Schmeltekopf Pastor Ray Still Shirley Wright Jack Chisholm Tom Barganier Nell Morton and Roxi Vanstory Actual construction could begin as soon as midMarch he said After the decision was made to expand a special committee called the United We Build Committee was formed to plan for the expansion Through their efforts and con siderations the expansion project began First Protestant Church hosts alternative music recording star Clay Crosse Feb 17 Nashvilles hottest top recording star Clay Crosse will appear in concert Friday night Feb 17 at at First Protestant Church in New Braun fels corner of Seguin and Coll Clay had two hits in 1994 and two songs in the top five hits for 1994 His 1994 tours included performances with Twila Paris Kathy Troccoli and the Young Messiah Word Records showcase of top recording As one of the top performers of the alternative music his musical sound and the lyrics to his songs are applauded by a wide range of listeners Tickets are and can be purchased at the FPC office all locations of The Shepherds Shoppe and from designated ticket representatives Call 6097729 Seating is limited so purchase your tickets now Let patience ripen in us set for Dayspring Dayspring Christian Fellowship meets at Memo rial Elementary School at 1900 S Walnut Sunday mornings with Sunday School beginning at and Morning Worship starting at This weeks message Let Patience Ripen In will cover seven principles for managing anger Please join us for this message in our current series on The Fruit of the We have a staffed nurs ery for each service and a Childrens Church is available Everyone is welcome In Essentials Unity In NonEssentials Liberty In All Things MVBC makes move Mission Valley Bible Church has moved We have relocated our Sunday morning services to the downstairs banquet room of Treetops on the Riv er restaurant Our Sunday schedule begins at with 4U a ministry for middle school and high school students Our service continues at with Worship including contemporary praise and worship songs Bible teaching and preaching and ministry time During the teaching time a nursery and Childrens Church are avail able In addition to our new location and schedule we have also begun a new friendship with the Vineyard Association of Churches Our congre gation is A Friend of the If you have any questions call our office at   

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