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New Braunfels Herald-Zeitung (Newspaper) - June 25, 1993, New Braunfels, Texas Page 4 Opinion HeraldZiltung June If a little knowledge la where la the man who has so much as to be out of danger H0nry Huxtoy English 1877 Heres a blockbuster legal thriller D I r O R I A L S A tip of the hat Area has much to be proud of after battle to preserve springs A group of concerned including the Lone Star Chapter of the Sierra the GuadalupeBlanco River Authority and Doug Miller representing the interests of Comal the City of New Braunfels and New Braun fels joined and led a fight to help save the Edwards Their cause was to protect the natural water source and the wildlife which relies on it It didnt take long for many other citizens and organizations to join in the fight to protect And despite having to battle the powerful interests of San Antonio and the Farm their cause won due to the persistence of these concerned And all are to be commended for their their persis their It was a hard A regulatory commission has been established to monitor the and the wildlife it The Edwards Aquifer as it is now will keep watch to make sure controlled amounts of water are being tak en from the They will make sure the proper levels of water are flowing from the They will make sure the the natural wonder is not the battle may have been yet the war is not There will be other dangers to the Aquifer down the but there will be a governing body to answer to for those who abuse the San Antonio will surely have to seek a surfacewater source to supply their city with That alone may have been worth the The HeraldZeitung salutes those who stood up for some thing that could not stand up for Todays editorial was written by Mark Managing Editor of the Write The New Braunfels HeraldZeitung welcomes letters on any public The editor reserves the right to correct punctua tion and known factual Letters should be kept to 250 We publish only original mail addressed to The New Braunfels Herald Zeitung bearing the writers an address and a telephone which are not for must be Please cite the page number and date of any article that is Preference is given to writers who have not been published in the previous 30 Mail letters to Letters to the Editor The New Braunfels HeraldZeitung Drawer 311328 New Texas 781311328 New Braunfels HeraldZeitung Editor and Sullens General DuVall Managing Lyon Marketing Dee Crockett Classified Reininger Circulation Ann Avery Pressroom Brandt Published on Sunday mornings and weekday mornings Tuesday through Friday by the New Braunfels 707 Landa or Drawer New Sec ond class postage paid by the New Braunfels HeraldZeitung in New USPS 377880 Carrier delivered in Comal and Guadalupe counties three six one Senior Citizen Dis counts by carrier delivery only six one Mail delivery outside Comal County in Texas three six one Mail outside Texas six one Subscribers who have not received a newspaper by 530 Tues day through Friday or by on Sunday may call 210 625 0144 or 210 6581000 by 7 weekdays or by 11 on Postmaster Send address changes to the New Breunfela Herald Drawer New Like most I can always use an extra 7 or 8 million which is why today I have decid ed to write a blockbuster legal Americans buy legal thrillers by the I was in many airports over the past few and I got the impression that aviation authorities were mak ing this announcement over the publicaddress sys tem FEDERAL REGULATIONS PROHIBIT YOU FROM BOARDING A PLANE UNLESS YOU ARE CARRYING THE CLIENT BY I EVERYBODY had this CThis is the captain Well be landing in Seattle instead of Detroit because I want to finish The The ironic thing is that bestselling legal thrillers generally are written by who are not famous for written I cite as Exhibit A my own Joseph who is constantly providing me with well reasoned advice that I cannot understand because Joe has taken legal precaution of translating it into Consider his when people send you a they send a cover page on top of which conveys the follow ing information Heres a fax for your But Joes cover page features a statement approxi mately the length of the worded so legally that I cant look directly at it without It says something like WARNING The following document and all appurtenances thereto and therein are the sole and exclusionary property of the aforementioned hereinafter The Mortgagee and may not be spin fondled or rebroadcast without the expres sively written consent of Major League subject to severe legal penalties hereinafter The Blowtorch Noogie this means And thats just Joes COVER Nobody has ever dared to read one of his actual for fear of being immediately thrown into This is typical of legal the primary purpose of which is to scare everybody who comes into contact with it into immediately hiring a some lawyers are hugely success ful and I intend to cash in on I am a but I did watch numerous episodes of Perry and on one when I got a traffic I represented myself in pleading nolo contendere meaning Can I pay by So I felt wellqualified to write the following blockbuster legal thriller and possible movie screenplay CHAPTER ONE The woman walked into my and I instant ly recognized her as Clarissa charged with murdering her late wealthy industrial polluter Cranston Bud whose death was originally reported as a heart but later ruled a homicide when sophisticated laboratory tests showed that his head had been cut she and I could tell by the way she spoke the word that it had quotation marks around Youre a young Southern lawyer resembling a John Grisham protagonist as much as possible without violating the copyright Thats I Perhaps we can have Not in the first she CHAPTER TWO sheened out Im I but thats my standard hourly CHAPTER THREE The courtroom tension was so palpable that you could feel it Detective said the district please tell the jury exactly what you found inside the defendants purse on the night of the Tic said Was there anything else I cant think Wait a Now that you mention there was What was it A chain A murmur ran through the courtroom before the bailiff could grab jumped up and bit Judge Webster Tuberhonker on the Thats going to I told my client CHAPTER FOUR With time running out on the we returned to my office for a scene involving full frontal nudity CHAPTER FIVE A hush fell over the injuring as I approached the I You are an are you not he And you are familiar with the facts of this are you not And you are aware as a trained I can turn state ments into questions by ending them with are you are You not And is it not possible by obtaining genetic material from scientists could clone NEW dinosaurs thundered the district Hes introducing the plot from the blockbuster science fiction thriller and motion picture Jurassic Park The judge frowned at me over his In the he whom do you see playing the defendant Chapter Four Sharon I Ill allow he C CHAPTER SIX And ladies and gentlemen of the I only ONE PERSON could have committed this1 and that person The guilty party suoV denly jumped causing the courtroom to nearly spit out its chewing THATS RIGHT the party I DID AND IM GLAD It was Amy WED COME M HERE TUBEE OR FOUR TIMES A DAY AND OBPERHMFABBMO AN ORDER OF FRIES ANb HALF A OKXD1ATE CLINTONS HALF BROTHER Republicans launch lastgasp attack on tax By ALAN PRAM Associated Press Writer WASHINGTON are waging a lastgasp attack on the proposed new gasoline but Senate Democrats and their deficitreduction package emerged triumphant over a GOP plan with no new The Democratic plan is aimed at paring bil lion from federal deficits by The GOP alternative was dispatched on a near partyline 5543 The Democratic bill largely follows President Clintons economic plan and leaders of both parties anticipated passage Analysis The House approved a similar bill in but a compromise will have to be written before it can become Republicans said their alternative and its spending limits on Medicare and other programs would have driven budget deficits even lower than the Democratic Unless we get a grip on the benefits programs of this United in the year 2030 your grand children will be picking grit with the warned Senate Whip Alan They also said the billion in new taxes in the Democratic bill would do little more man hinder the economy and cost J The employees of small businesses are going suffer the said Senate Minority Leader Bob Democrats chided Republicans for offering a age that would have killed one of the keystones of Clintons deficitreduction plan higher taxes on bestoff Americans and on Those who make more than a year we wish them the theyre great theyve done theyve they should participate in sharing the said Senate ity Leader George Today in History By Ths Associated Prsss Today is June the 176th day of There we 189 days left in the Todays Highlight in History On June George Custer and his 7th Cavalry were wiped out by Sioux and Cheyenne Indians in he Bank of Little Big Horn in On this date In Virginia ratified the In North Carolina and South Carolina were readmitted to the In the Republican National meet ing in nominated Benjamin Harrison for the Harrison went on to win the defeat ing Grover In a love triangle came to a violent end atop New Yorks Madison Square Garden as architect Stan ford the buildings was shot to death by Harry the jealous husband of Evelyn Nesbit In about British Royal Air Force bombers raided during World War In forces from communist North Korea invaded South The Security Council issued a cease fire call that went In the first commercial color telecast took place as CBS transmitted a onehour special from New York to four other In the Supreme Court ruled the use of an nondenominational prayer in New York State public schools was In former White House Counsel John Dean began testifying before the Senate Watergate Commit In the Supreme Court held that maleonly draft registration is Ten yean ago In West hundreds of masked youths battled riot police and hurled debris at Vice President George Bushs motorcade during cere monies saluting GermanAmerican Secretary of State George Shultz arrived in Manila on the first stop of a fournation Asian Five yean ago Americanbom Mildred bet ter known during World War n as Axis Sally for her Nazi propaganda died in at age Gillars had served 12 years in prison for OM year ago Both houses of Congress rushed to pass a backtowork order ending a national rafl strike President Bush signed it in the early hours of June The space shuttle carrying seven blasted off on a twoweek Todays Blrtbdayw Broadway producer George Abbott Movie director Sidney Lumet is Actress June LockhartU Basketball halloffomer Willis Reed is Singer Carly Simon is TV alityPhyUis George is Rock linjei George Michael Thought for Today The like is an excellent but a terrible Fenimore American author
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