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   New Braunfels Herald-Zeitung (Newspaper) - March 19, 1993, New Braunfels, Texas                                Opinion Page 4 March Quote of the day History is principally the inaccurate narration of events which ought not to have Ernest Albert American anthropologist Editorials Who pays Clinton may be remembered for putting Eek in economics Candidate Bill Clinton promised to hit mil lionaires with a 10 percent which after his election was stretched to cover anyone making over a Now it is less affluent citizens turn to be mis Families whose gross pay totals under a year have been told by the president that they will suffer no net tax increase under the Clinton economic Thats true but only because Clinton uses an esoteric Treasury Department standard of wealth called Family Economic Heres how it Family Economic according to Treasury includes not just wages and stock dividends what most people think of as income when filling out their tax It also takes in employer contributions to insur ance premiums and pension plans and apprecia tion in real When Clinton talks about being the point at which taxes start to families mak ing suppose they will But many of these families have income above by the FBIdefinition and will actuaUy pay So early in his its hazardous to predict how history will remember President If his clever massaging of the tax code is any he may go down as the man who put the Eek in Todays editorial was contributed by the El Paso HeraldPost Write us The New Braunfels HeraldZeitung welcomes letters on any public letters are condensed with the objective of printing as many of them as space We also correct punctuation and Known fac tual We publish only original mall addressed to The New Braunfels Herald Zeitung bearing the writers an address and a telephone num which are not for must be Please cite the page number and date of any article that Is Preference Is given to writers who have not been published In the previous 30 Mall to Letters to the Editor The New Braunfels HeraldZeitung Drawer 311328 New Texas 781311328 New Braunfels HeraldZeitung Editor and Sullen s General Duvail Managing Marketing Dee Crockett Classified Reininger Circulation Ann Avery Pressroom Brandt Published on Sunday mornings and weekday mornings Tuesday through Friday by the New Braunfels 707 Landa or Drawer New Sec ond class postage paid by the New Braunfels HeraldZeitung in New USPS 377880 Class delivered in Comal and Guadalupe counties three six one Senior Citizen Discounts by carrier delivery only six one Mail delivery outside Comal County in Texas three six one Mail outside Texas six one Subscribers who have not received a newspaper by Tuesday through Friday or by on Sunday may call 210 6259144 by 7 or 210 6581900 by 11 Send address changes to the New Braunfela Herald Drawer New DWI reaches beyondjhe driver A lot of hoopla has been made about the dangers of drinking and driving and rightfully But can we really believe that people fully understand the severity of the problem Hard Quite we should begin teaching death instead of danger permanent disabil ity instead of broken and vegetative states instead of just severe Maybe everyone should talk to a survivor of a drunk driving Listen to their sto their loss and their Let them tell you that no flashing no emergency crew no explanations can reverse the devastating effect that death by DWI has on their People only need to see a few body go to a few or look at a few family albums shattered by a moment of indiscre tion to begin to DWI is one of the worst crimes of irresponsibility and negligence perpetrated by supposedly responsible adults upon usually undeserving Nothing is worse than poor judgment except perhaps poor coupled with dulled behind the wheel of two tons of met al hurtling down the road at 75 miles per v Alcohol dulls the reflexes this is a proven You drink too you get drunk you get drunk and your senses are your judg Gary Carroll ment is impaired and you operate a motor vehicle with false and just maybe a little guarded you kill peo But I drive fine after Ive had a couple of you may I can understand You got and maybe you continue to get lucky but let me tell that luck WILL not may run Its like playing Russian Roulette you may get lucky twice or even five times but eventually all six barrels will be You will But dont take my word for ask a fire fighter or paramedic who has pulled a very sober and very dead child from the twisted wreckage of an automobile struck by a drunk Ask the parents of that child ask the drunk Or ask Just two days after my cousins college grad during his final move from Huntsville to just days before he was to begin his new a drunk truck driver took his life from him and from He drove over my cousins car from crushing my cousin to A sober 22year old crushed to Happy A lot of people dont seem to understand that DWI could just as easily stand for death with indignity as it does for driving while Besides being it just isnt fair to willfully endanger other peoples It isnt fair to to other innocent people or to my cousin It was hard for me to witness the DWI drill at the high school it brought back a lot of pain and deepseated feelings of It hurt even more to see people watching who couldnt seem to understand the reality of death and destruction associated with or the message that New Braunfels police and firefighters were trying to I miss my two friends and my cousin terri If youre ever in Ill give you directions to their You too may lay flowers quietly on their and tiptoe around the grasscovered earth they now call They didnt deserve to Gary Carroll is a reporter for the New Braunfels TICK TICK m TICK TICK TICK Cat care advances with new administration TODAYS ANIMAL TOPIC IS Cat Care Over the many catlovers have asked me how come you never write about cats Is it because you dont LIKE cats Is it because cats are unprincipled house hold parasites that will stroll up to the person who has fed them for 17 years without claw this persons shin flesh into lasagna Is it because they are hair ballspewing HEY These arent catlover quotations Youre making these quotations up so I do not harbor a great fondness for But I intend to change my because I in my want to cash in on the wave of Cat Mania that is sweeping the The cause of this wave of the Clinton family Socks Rodham who was recently confirmed as Official White House Pet following lengthy Senate hearings in which it was determined that he had never knowingly employed illegal Socks in his experiment with catnip but he did not So today Im going to report some exciting developments in cat Im not making these developments up they were all brought to my attention by catloving readers such as Sharon who sent me a news paper advertisement for the Cat This is a catwashing and its about time somebody invented because if you have ever attempted to wash a cat by you are dumber than you The Cat Tub ad has a photograph of a cat sitting inside a wire basket the cats head and front paws are sticking out the through a loose The basket has been up to the cats in a clear plastic cylinder filled with Theres a hose attached to a kitchen faucet so that water circulates around the like a washing You just KNOW how much the cat is enjoy ing The cat is staring at the clearly thinking I am going to evolve to the point where I can order a handgun by mail and GET EVEN with the person who invented I called up this a San Diego archi tectural draftsman named Brad who told me that he invented the Cat Tub five years ago for his when he Juan developed a flea I had to bathe him a and it was VERY he Cats go ballistic when you put them in And they have I just want to note for the record that dogs NEVER scratch you when you wash They just become very sad and try to figure out what they did Davis said that the Cat Tub restrains the cat very so that it has no choice but to sit there and get clean and hate Although Davis claims that most cats seem to they dont LOVE he But they TOLERATE I think this is a terrific sanitation which might someday be adapted for use with larger hardtobathe species such as horses and my The Cat Tub retails for for more write to 2445 Juan San in the form of Brad are standing Another new wrinkle in cat hygiene was brought to my attention by Patricia South who mailed me a newspaper article con cerning a seniorcitizen talent show in The show featured an act by a woman named Harriett her cat and her small The by Mark states The little dog ran around the stage while Boyd held the cat draped over her made it sit and stay on a stand while she walked away and vacuumed she vacuumed the to its obvious She rubbed the roaring attachment over the cats back while it stretched in luxu rious Needless to this act won the silver tal ent I would not be surprised to see your faig international stars such as Michael Jackson vacuuming cats on stage while a little dog played by Marky Mark runs lets say you have washed and vac uumed your and now youd like to give it a nice But lets for one reason or ycrur cat has no In this case you will want to purchase a product featured in an advertisement serein by Ellen The advertisement has a picture of a scientificlooking nextto which is the following which I swelar I am not making up Only the Polytron reduces an entire mouse to a souplike homogenate in 30 Like most I have always yearned for such a so I called the manufac Brinkmann and spqke with a customerservice representative named She told me that the Polytron is used for Iflb oratorysample preparation by the scientific which is constantly achieve important breakthroughs in mankinds ability to do stuff to If s kind of like a very strong food she I asked her if any catowners had bought Polytrons so they could provide their pets witii nutritious Liquid Mouse and she said she didnt think because the basic model costs over This is a lot of money for the average civil but your more affluent catloving incji viduals and institutions could easily afford a I understand that the White House has ordered f Dave Barry is a syndicated columnist for Tribune Media   

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