New Braunfels Herald Zeitung, July 19, 1985, Page 4

New Braunfels Herald Zeitung

July 19, 1985

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Issue date: Friday, July 19, 1985

Pages available: 54

Previous edition: Thursday, July 18, 1985

Next edition: Sunday, July 21, 1985

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Publication name: New Braunfels Herald Zeitung

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New Braunfels Herald Zeitung (Newspaper) - July 19, 1985, New Braunfels, Texas 4A    New    Braunfels    Herald-Ze/ft/nr?    Friday,    July    19,1985 ON THE MORTH SIDE OF TOWN EVELYN ! OUR LITTLE TOWN >s DOOMED • PHII ,, we HAVE A , H'\ NORTH SIDE ! Mailbag policy The Herald-Zeitung welcomes the opinions of its readers, and we’re happy to publish letters to the editor. While readers’ opinions on local issues generally are of more interest to other readers, we welcome letters on any topic — local, state, national or international — that the writer chooses to address. Content will not prevent publication unless the letter is judged to be potentially libelous. All letters to the editor should be signed and authorship must be verifiable by telephone. Anonymous letters will not be published. Send your letter to: Mailbag, New Braunfels Herald-Zeitung, P.O. Drawer 361, New Braunfels Texas, 78131. Letters may also be hand delivered to the newspaper offices at 186 S. Caste!!. ANDY ROONEY o pinions H»pald-Zeltun$ Dave Kramer, Iihtoi ami General Mmwgt/ Susan Haire, Mmmgi1 v. iii:' Andy Rooney Don't think pope should have column Q*o'»nsjo*opl<i By Fferfe Wit.UAMS WHERE ARE BUILDING SOUR NEW STORE ? mf, HESS MV scot, \ WIK frGNK-PAWING GNALHEyyyy Mike Royko NY golf course presents some natural The golfer, it has always seemed to me that the designs of most golf courses in this country are all wrong. Unlike the ancient golf courses in Scotland, where golf was born, ours are not natural. And that s especially true of the hazards, which make a golf course challenging. In Scotland, the hazards are natural The sea, the dunes, the roll of the land, the thick weeds, are all a part of the original terrain In other words, a Scottish golf course looks like Scotland But can tnat be said about our courses? Are sand bunkers natural t< Chicago? Or big and little ponds and winding streams9 Rolling hills" Of course not. They’re man-made, atrificial So I was pleased to discover that in at least one part of this country, there are golf courses with hazards that truly reflect the natural environment These are the 13 municipal god courses of New York City If you read the sports pages, you might have come across a recent New York Times report on the unusual hazards of that city’s courses. For those who didn t, ITI summarize it. After hitting a lee shot, a New Yorker might walk down the fairway and exclaim: “Drat, I’m in a hazard!” A bunker? Not necessarily. It could be the trunk of an abandoned stolen car. They’re dumped on the courses all the time. Irater in the round, he might say: ‘ I think I have an unplayable lie. Do I get a free lift from there?” A cart path? No. It could be that the bali had landed on or near a sleeping wino, many of whom snooze about the fairways and rough. Or in the tent of one of the many vagrants who call the course home. Or it might have even come to rest on a corp se. Those who have an urgent need to dispose of corpses frequently choose the golf courses for this purpose. (The article didn’t say what the rule is for a ball on or near a wino. Do you drop it two club lengths away? Or two bottle lengths? In the case of the corpse, do you move the ball or move the body? Is a casual corpse considered the same as a casual water?) But those are just examples of the stationary hazards. The movable hazards are what give the course their true character. For example, you get out of your golf cart and walk to the green to putt. After putting, you look up and see your cart — with bag and clubs — fading into the distance, being driven tow ard the streets of Queens by some enterprising urchin. Or you might be walking along a fairway and see somebody emerge from a bush. When confronting a stranger, goiters, a friendly lot, will usually say: “Hello,” or “Nice day,” or “How you hitting them7” or something of the sort. But it’s possible that he’d put his hand in his pocket and say: “Your money, sucker, and the watch. And the ring. And the ball, if it ain’t cut.” New York golfers have returned ho after a Sunday round and said: “Honey, you should have seen it. I really had it going — until tile 16th hazards hole. I was a cinch lo break 90 Then it all came apart.” “You sliced one9” "No. This guy said he d slice me." That’s why some New York golfers carr) more than an extra wedge or 7-wood in their bags. Some carry cans of Mace or pistols. A few bring companions to stroll along with them — such as mean dogs. Unusual questions of etiquette have arisen on New York courses. When delayed by a slow group ahead, it’s acceptable to politel) ask if you can play through. But there is a tactful way to ask to play through a couple of rival gangs having a brawl on your fairway? (I suppose you could use flattery and s ay: "My, you have a fine, smooth stroke, young man. Excellent follow through. Tell me, what is the swing weight of that piece of chain?”) lately, the hazards have been somewhat reduced by new management of the courses. But they still retain much of their natural appeal And the odds for a hole in one are much greater than for a hole in the head. Americans are liberal about their religious beliefs. Secretly, the Methodists feel superior to the Baptists, the Episcopalians feel superior to Hie Presbyterians, Hie Protestants feel superior to the Catholics, and the Jews feel superior to the Christians. People who beleive all religion is nonsense feel superior to all of them And all that goes vice versa, too, of course. Fortunately, in America, it all ends there Our friends are as apt to be one religion as another We’re not at w ar No matter how wrong we think someone elses is. we have no inclination to try to stop them from believing w hat they believe It’s been interesting for Catholics and non-Calholics alike to watch the activist Pope John Paul II at work He’s been an amazing representative for Catholics. He’s been accepted every where and admired by non-Calholics as well as Catholics. I’m not a Catholic, but I’ve admired the pope more for the strength of his convictions and the energy w ith which he promotes them than for the convictions themselves. Catholicism hasn’t had as good a leader as Pope John Paul II in many years. Now he’s gone too far, though I read the other day that he’s going to write a newspaer column Come on now, pope Does Art Buchwaid hear confessions? Does Jack Anderson say mass? I’m broadminded but when the pope starts working my side of the street, I object. According to the story I read, the pope’s column will be sy ndicated by the Australian entrepreneur, Rupert Murdock. I wonder if the pope has ever read one of Murdock’s newspapers. One of the pope's loyal followers ought to tell hun that Murdock's publications lean heavily on sex, crime and sensationalism I don’t think the pope's going to be happy to have his column sandwiched in between a lurid story of rape on one side and murder on the other. lf a newspaper decides to buy the pope s column from the Murdock syndicate, I suppose that paper might gain some Catholic readers but it ought lose an equal number of non-Catholic readers who resent being propagandized I’m not sure whether all Catholics are going to like having the pope's column in their newspapers, either. The Catholics I know believe .strongly in the separation of church and real life They go to church on their new sabbath. Saturday night, but once mass is over they distance themselves from the church. The chances are. no parish priest is going to like having tile pope* in his paper three day s a weeks, either The clergymen in small, local churches all over America have always been vaguely resentful of people like Billy Graham and the radio and television preachers who skim off a lot of Ilk* money that local ministers might otherwise find in their church collection plates If Catholics can read the pope in their newspaper, maybe they won’t bother to go to church to listen to their priest The pope is a great linguist Although his native tongue is Polish, he is said to be able to speak eight languages with some fluency He’ll try anything Wherever he gi*es in the world, which is almost everywhere, he makes at least some of his speeches in that country s native tongue I’m not inclined to give him of the newspapers who w ill carry his column any advice but it nught be interesting if the pope spent a little extra time and wrote his column in four or five languages The newspapers who carry his column could choose which language to print him in or they could print the same collum! in three or four languages It will be interesting to see what the pope comes up with for columns I'm sure he doesn't want any advice from me but he ought to be aware that if you have to do it three times a week, it’s awfully easy to make a fool of yourself once in a while. U S J2 X V a § a SO YOU THINK POSITIVE . AS LONG OUK AIP IS    Af USA TOR AFRICA SETTINO IN, USES IHE PRIVATE REUER AGENCIES, INELL EET ST I'M GLW TO HEAR Tf f 'JC. I CAMT ML YOU HOW IMPRESSES I API EY THE MORK YOWRE PONE NERE FRANK EYJ PON*T RHOM HOR'YOU CAN TAKE T- - lr )—r Pf MEIL, ITS A LITTLE UKE A MASH UNH HERE, JIMMY YOU HAVE TD RELY HEAVILY ON YOUR STOCK OF OOOZE ANE SENSE OE LM mw? VERY BLACK. HEARE MHATKJNP THE ONE ABOUT CfHUMOR THE ETHIOPIAN Your representatives Sen. Phil Gramm Gov. Mark White United States Senate Governor's Office Washington D C., 20510 Room 200 State Capitol Austin, Texas 78701 Sen. John Traeger Sen. Lloyd Bentsen Texas Senate United States Senate Capitol Station Room 240 Russell Bldg Austin, Texas 78711 Washington, D C. 20510 Rep. Tom Loeffler U.S. House of Representatives 1212 Longworth House Office Bldg Washington, D.C. 20515 Rep. Edmund Kuempel Rep. Mac Sweeney Texas House (Guadalupe County) of Representatives U.S. House P.O. Box 2910 of Representatives Austin, Texas 78769 Washington, D.C., 20515 ;

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