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New Braunfels Herald-Zeitung (Newspaper) - July 14, 1982, New Braunfels, Texas tit Aft July 1 1 98J Dave General Manager Robert Editor Andy Rooney Andys revenge on junk telephone calls The other evening I was having the kind of good time we all dream about when were I was sitting in my living having a drink before dinner and watching the evening news on My part of dealing with the world was over for the day and I finally had it at arms length where I could watch read about it and talk with my wife about Then the Good the pleasant young Womans voice at the other end of the line Were calling to ask if youre familiar with the two new products of the Reynolds Metals Youre doing I My name is Sue Carswell and I Work for Reynolds Aluminum Building Products We have two new products on the market and were making a telephone survey to find out how many people know about By the time Id made it clear to Miss Carswell how I felt about being called at in the during my own private by a stranger asking me some idiotic questions about products I couldnt care less the news was The ice in my drink had and I no longer felt Why does a company think it can bother people at home by telephone I dislike junk I hate the people who slip advertisements under my windshield wipers when Im and I dont want anyone leaving free newspapers that are mostly ad vertisements in my but my feeling about these ways of trying to sell me something is almost friendly irginia Payette swarming up on Capitol Hill The Democrats think the country is going to the dogs and they plan to rescue it come November with a fresh doseof Better they should stock up on a good Tip ONeill blaming the wrong The economy isnt going its going to the insects and a can of Raid would do his more good than a dozen Selfstyled pests are all over the Congressmen have split from the party line into various called the boll weevils gypsy moths the yellow jackets and the Ascritters these conservative including iquick the Flit a group of Democrats who bug old Tip with their pesky support of his arch rival in the While House It all started with the a horde of southern Democrats who helped President Reagan get his budget through the came the yellow and infestation of con servative Congress for even greater spending cuts all down the Then there are the Republicans to sweetening the pot with tighter revenue collec tions and the introduction of a flat tax rate to discourage cheaters in the underground The only entomological subspecies that doesnt bug Tip are the gypsy Thats a swarm of northeast and bigcityRepublicans who agree with the crusty old speaker that Reagans cuts in welfare programs are Politics have reached the point as one congressman put Yon have to be an insect to gel anything done around Headline writers are ecstatic liberal old pols are just ticked What plagues them most is the growing political clout of the boll These varmints actually had the nerve to bold their own campaign fundraiser a couple of weeks ago to help elect conservative Democrats to At a they collected Washingtonwatchers took suggesting that this might just be enough to bolster the boll weevils legitimacy in political And this time Tip played it smart he sent three top House Democrats to the fundraiser to show voters hes not afraid of the Leader Jim Wright up carrying a can of bugkiller and wearing a Texan Pest Management Association Somebody pointed out that his brand ofspray doesnt have any effect on weevils Wright lamented that nothing else I havent found a way to control them he joked with the Iin still looking for 11 was all but the fact is that the boll weevils have been stinging the Democratic leadership in Congress for the past 18 Nothing pains an old pol like ONeill more than to have one of his own go over to the Not only his failure to keep the southern Democrats in line has set off a flurry of cloakroom whispers that maybe the old boy has lost his that what the party needs to get it back in the catbird seat is a younger leader whos more in tune with the new getridofBigBrother sentiment that seems growing among tax burdened Tip slaps down that kind of heresay as angrily as he would a but its no secret that the political insects are beginning to get under his Its enough to make a speaker wish he could trade in his gavel for a good old fashioned compared to the way I feel about intrusive telephone We get a lot of mail at home every My wife takes hers and leaves everything addressed to me on the kitchen I say if it looks like money she opens it no matter who its addressed When I come I take my little stack of mail and stand by the big wastebasket in the If I have 12 peices of I seldom end up with more than four that I take to the living room to The rest is junkmail and goes unopened into the Real waste for the Throwing out junk mail has become a part of our We all know how to do it quickly and its message doesnt enter our A phone call is a diffeent You cant throw a phone call in the wastebasket unopened and I still have not reached the point where I can let the telephone ring without answering even though at that theres almost no one I want to talk If its illegal to bother people in a neighborhood with loud noises or to accost people on the why isnt there a law that prevents companies from calling people listed in the phone book for the purpose of selling them something If the practice gets any more we could all start answering 10 or 15 cals a When our phone rings at its usually a friend with a message that has some meaning to us or one of our kids checking We get only a few phone calls on the average so when he hear the we go to the phone with some sense of an I am infuriated at least once a week to find the caller on the other end taking some commercial survey or trying to sell me insurance or a financial plan that will make me If I want a commercial message when Im Ill watch Depending on my I have several ways of dealing with these If Im in a good I just slam down the If Im an I tell the caller how I feel about being If I feel I listen for a minute and then ask them to wait while I get a In about two I pick up the phone again and Ill be right with I keep them hanging on this way as long as I I figure that every second I keep them tied up is a second they arent bothering someone The president of the Reynolds Metals Company lives in where their offices His name is John Blomquist and his home telephone number is 804 Im taking a little survey and Id appreciate it if youd give him a call and ask if hesever heard of John Hess If medieval thinking goes there will be the devil to pay The calendar were living in the 20th going on the But the news says were back in the Middle Heres mighty Proctor praying to get Satan off its That its suing three people for spreading the tale that the company At it was a joke to this fable that its old trademark of a moonface and 13 stars was a symbol of devil But lately its been getting as many as calls in a week from worried Theyd rather have ring around their collar than wash their clothes in the devils The devil is Robert Republican of is sure that when he plays a Led Zeppelin recording of Stair way to he can hear tiny voices saying I live for He and his who may be the only people who play records back have introduced bills in Congress and the California legislature to require a warning label on such devilish Then there are those fun damentalists who want to exorcize that demon Darwin out of our biology Failing they demand equal time for creation They want roll education back to where was when the earth was flat and the sun and stars knew their place in the And speaking of true did you see that big Moonie wedding on the TV There were those brides in white and those cleancut young marching down the aisle to Mendelsohns Wedding March on the The only odd note was the sacrament being administered in a Korean sergeants Aside from it was a Norman Rockwell picture of sweet multiplied All that was left out was the Most of the couples were strangers to each It was the Reverend Moon who had popped the And they all dutifully answered Whom the Leader hath joined let no man put What we were seeing was like a scene from The Stepford that extraordinary movie where the wives have been replaced by They act human even better than human but they are indeed Another word for that is Deep religious and moral con victions are one thing the sup pression of reason is the medievalists have been celebrating a They have kept a majority of the public from writing it into the Constitution that men and women are equal in Various arguments were brought into but surely rationality had little to do with For the coven that defeated ERA said its most effective ploy was the threat that women would be drafted for Not that theyre against heaven They just want it limited to husbands and Women are made to be Listen to Phyllis antifeminist career who is now planning a campaign against a nuclear The atomic bomb is a marvelous gift that was given to our country by a wise And who gave the bomb to those other fellows You know Hes the fellow on the phonograph if you play it Washington today Reagan pension battle goes on fOMnation remains WASHINGTON AP President Reagans California pension has been questioned by critics who contend its an unconstitutional But the Justice Department says its a perfectly legal Either the offagain debate centers on one of those often overlooked sections of the Con stitution offering little firm proof of which side is The head of the Sacramento Urban for notes that the Constitution bars presidents from getting any state or federal emolument other than their An says Websters New Collegiate is a profit from employment or labor fees or But the Justice in a legal insists the intent of the men who drafted theclause in the 18th century was to bar payments that could influence presidential And that problem is the department because Reagan will get the pension money from his days as California governor regar dless of what Ije does in the Oval A 1973 Library of Congress guide to the Constitution jists no disputes over the presidential emolument Major law school textbooks do not probe the true meaning of the which likely1 will remain in the ranks of some of the other obscure parts of the Federal officeholders need the consent of Congress to accept any office or title from any prince or foreign The Justice Department says it has received inquiries about Reagans pension from House Speaker Thomas and at least two other And George president of the Sacramento Urban says he informed Attorney Genera William French Smith by letter that paying the pension as long as Reagan is president is unconstitutional whose group advocates the rights of says hes asked California officials to stop now set at pending an independent legal The debate over the pension may stay just war of Court challenges may be im as is the president keeps on receiving the pension in addition to his salary theres a major question of who could go to court to try to stop And in the absence of any court the Justice Departments approval of the pension arrangement last year is almost certain to stand as the last official The pension is not an emolument within the meaning of the Constitution or within the meaning of the laws of says Justice Department spokesman Mark
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