Abilene Morning Reporter News, May 8, 1927, Page 31

Abilene Morning Reporter News

May 08, 1927

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Issue date: Sunday, May 8, 1927

Pages available: 100

Previous edition: Sunday, May 1, 1927

Next edition: Sunday, May 15, 1927

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Publication name: Abilene Morning Reporter News

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Abilene Morning Reporter News (Newspaper) - May 8, 1927, Abilene, Texas PAGE TWOHIE WESTERN WEEKLY, (MAGAZINE SECTION) SUNDAY', MAY 8, 1927. \ rn TI TH) A LITTLE MURDER TRT AT. I M.oger§: helps a lot We threw him out. BY WILL ROGERS WELL, all I know is just what I read in the papers. Things have been awful alack in the newspaper reading business for the last few weeks. But they are picking up now. This Ruth Snyder case is bringing Literature back. Do you know that reading had fallen off over 60 percent after Daddy canned Peaches and the Judge canned the whole tribe of them? There just wasen’t nothing in the pipers. China’s war got everybody het up for a couple of days, but when we saw we dident have enough Marines to send to make it interesting, why the interest in that soon died out. The big war spoiled people for just ordinary wars. You can’t get them much excited over a half a dozen little wars running all over the country like Nicaragua, Mexico, and China. You have io concentrate and put all your wars together and try and make one good one out of it. The American people that are reading nowadays can’t keep their minds on three wars at once. We got to have fewer and bigger wars or they will mean nothing to the old public. Why, Bringing up Father and Boob McNutt will outread all the “Nanking’s” and “Yangstes” you can put in the papers. Of course, Sapiro and Henry Ford looked like an Extra Edition there for awhile, but they crabbed it making a Serial out of it instead of just an ordinary feature. Mr. Coolidge unintentionally cast a reflection on Secretary Hoover, that grabbed a first column for a day, and then the President issued another saying that “Mr. Hoover was so good he was going to keep him right where he was and not promote him at all.** One of my constituents out in Beverly Hills made what looked like it was going to amount to something there by breaking into our Jail. But the minute we found out he was in there we threw Lim out, ' and that killed that. When we want anybody in my Jail we will put 'em in there. We don’t want anybody coming there voluntarily and breaking in without even an invitation. We pride dirge! yes on the exclusiveness of our jail. killed by a wife in such along time that it looked like it was a lost art. The beauty about killing a husband on Long Island Is that you draw a better trial. Its far enough away from New York that you don’t get that ordinary bunch of court hangers-on. A Murder trial out there draws what used to be know in the old days as “carriage trade.” In other words they come in Limousines. Its a pleasure to be sentenced to hang if you can get the right kind of audience to be present at the verdict. Then Ruth bringing this Corset Architect in is going to add an awful lot to the case. Everybody will wonder if he nas hit samples, and lots of women will want to see what a Corset looks like. He and Ruth seem to kinder fall out over who should have credit for the idea. They love each other so they each We have fixed it up till its really fit for a Chicago Bandit. That’s one thing I told the Boys when I left, “Don’t let just anybody get in this Jail. That’8 what gets Jails a bad name. If you will watch your Guest list you can build up a reputation that will make your Jail different, and that’s why we have to throw out certain ones that break in. The miuute everybody finds out that it is a Moving Picture or a Stage Actor Jail, you are going to have more than you can accommodate. Not that they don’t make just as good prisoners as anyone else. But its the crowd that hears about them being in there and that brings a certain riff-raff. Relations Barred— Now’, take Real Estate men, I told the Chief when I left to under no circumstances let in a real estate man. that if he broke in and we found it out to throw him out, map and all. We got to protect our other prisoners. We are trying to build it up on Bankers and politicians and Oil men, so that’s why we don’t have room for anybody else. But as I say about the news, there just hardly hasent been anything. Babe I^uth has got to the point where he gets a headline if he even fonls a ball. They are keeping track of his fouls this year and they think they will break his record of 59 home runs. Tunney wants a Million dollars for his next fight. That dident get a headline but it got a laugh. So when this Ruth Snyder decided a couple of years ago to have a Corset fitted personally with the aid of a “he-fittcr,” why she really was laying the cornerstone of what w as later to be known as the life-saver of the entire newspaper business. It was certainly one of the most timely murders that has clogged up the breakfast table in years. You see it come at a time when there was absolutely no opposition. The “Blubber Squad” had no other cause to work on, so they all could connentratc on this one. Peggy Joice covered it, looking not only for news hut for a likely opponent in her next matrimonial combat. Ruth had time to have some clothes made between the murder and the triaL Long Island badcnt had a husband want to be generous ami jjivc the other Uie credit. But it sure does feel Uke old times to a constant reader to gel th<* papers back to normal and know jo.,, what to look for every morning. Turn tho Pictures, they have been not hardly up to the “Peaches Piano Leg .Standard,” but the Photographers are doing their best with what material they have. I predict a great newspaper future fur this ease, and believe that the interest will hold, and whatever happens to Ruth and Corset tho newspapers will always owe th em a debt of gratitude and incidentally some dividends. I know I Pant to thank them for I was just on the verge of having to read “Elmer Gantry** when this murder came alout;. (Copyright 11>27. The Mc Nautili Syndicate, Inc.) The Headline Writer Tells His Small Daughter Some Fairy Tales By E. J. STRONG Small daughter: Daddy tell me a fairy tall. Headline writer (Laying aside evening paper): Hm-m-m fairy tale?    I Small daughter: Yea—The one about Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Head line writer: Goldilocks and the Bears—oh, yea. (Business of running hands through hair absent mindedly and counting off letters on fingers.) BLONDE TOT ESCAPES FROM TRIO OF BRUINS Child Lost In Wpod Wanders Into Bear Bungalow out. Daddy. Now tell me about Puss Id Boots. Headline writer: Cat that wears boots —h-m-m good yarn. TALENTED FELINE MAKES FORTUNE FOR POOR YOUTH Wearing Boota Queer Hobby ot Educated Kitty Puss May Look at Queen But This Ona Kids a King CU realty Killed a Cat But Th Killed an Ogre Cat Sips Soup Set to Cool, Alleging Big Bowl Hot, Medium Cold, Wee One Fit to Eat Master Weds Princess, Thanks I,» Wiles of Precocious Pet Also Tries Chairs, Smashing One Hibernators Discover Tampering On Return From Stroll *Mrl Caught Taking Nap Leaps Through Window, Escapes; Zoo Keeper Quizzed Small daughter: Well, you didnt tell that one right either, but sur« ly you know Little Red Riding Hood. Headline writer:::: You mean the one about the wolf in grandma* clothing? SCARLET CLOAKED TAD ESCAPES WOLF S CANOS Voracious Lupine Devours t h M a Grandma Small daughter: That doesn't sound    „    , > _ . Tw.    _    . HMH.. Maybe you know the on. about CUaBlng Br“‘*    «*“ >» '“thU Cinderella.    *own    *n<’    ot Headline writer:    Cinderella?    To    be sure. MISTRESS OF GLASS Tot’s Suspicions Aroused By Bright I :yer% Long Ears and Large Tet I h SLH I ER DISCOVERED Woodsman Ends Masquerade With Gun .    ~    Aa    Beast    Is    About    to    Mal.e J ». s- Asserted Charms id Possessor ot    8,,rt    ,,j    (;,r    j Smallest Foot Girl Who Accuses Stepmother of Abuse Becomes Protege of Alleged Witch Tells of Mysterious Transformation From Rags to Beautiful Ballroom Gown Headline writer: Lord hie.** child is asleep. th* There are 11,723 living descendants of King Henry IV. of England. -o- ,h»»t op'd attar Prince, Victim of Love at First Sight, Plans to Marry Cinder Charmer Hateful Stepsisters Fail to Fool if I* Majesty by Slashing Feet to Fit Shoe Small daughter: It seems as though you are telling them backwards, Daddy. Now see if you can tell me the one about Jack and the Bean Stalk. Headline writer: Ah yes, that's the one about— STRANGE BEANS GROW SKYHIGH OVER NIGHT All of the bedrooms of a hotel ened In London have been nam flowers.—  0 - — ■ In Prince Edward Island there has been but one divorce granted in more than fifty years.—.................o    ■■    — At a recent wedding in Paris the brid* and bridegroom rode to the cli arch in wheelbarrows followed by a Jan band, -o----------------------------- Italy will be brought within lf* hours of London by a combined air ar cl rail service which will be Inaugurated this month. Youth Swaps Family Cow For Mystic Vegetable Mars Believed Inhabited As Lad DiscoV' era Weird Lind At Pinnacle o£ Vines .Returns From Explorations With Talking Harp and Hen That Lays 14 Karat Eggs In England a man, his son and his daughter, all driving different . ar., were all involved in automobile collision* within 24 hours. —— ......O    --ii A record of nearly 14,144 crossings of the English Channel la held by Walter Hastings, a boat steward,** recently retired after 44 years of service. gigantic Inhabitant of Sky Realm Follows Him But Is Killed As Boy Cuts Stalk Tho Chines** Government always refused to borrow money abroad for any purpose until the war with Japan compelled a resort to tho European moue? markets. Anthropologists to Hold Inquest; Slayer Sentenced to Live Happily Ever After Small daughter: You're leaving a lot Previously held by a cow belonging I* Dr. Halntsrh, the President of the Republic, the milk championship of Austria has now been won by a cow ov nod by * peasant. ;

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