Wellsboro Agitator, September 28, 1886

Wellsboro Agitator

September 28, 1886

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Issue date: Tuesday, September 28, 1886

Pages available: 4

Previous edition: Tuesday, September 21, 1886

Next edition: Tuesday, October 5, 1886

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Publication name: Wellsboro Agitator

Location: Wellsboro, Pennsylvania

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Years available: 1854 - 1999

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All text in the Wellsboro Agitator September 28, 1886, Page 1.

Wellsboro Agitator, The (Newspaper) - September 28, 1886, Wellsboro, Pennsylvania king a light meal id meat erfeajre. >ther elopement able lo find .re dcwa slraued tiro Sorneo onegrrl idH rnj one cow will to a full stop looking Kbo i waj to thefeace. >H Lalloz. carriage manufactorer no II street Boffaio! N Y I uubled with nausea of the stomach eadacbe and general demtty. Blood Bntera cured me." Mdney an island of the South Paof j girls shot up nntn Ihev are M it i. sible to keep them shut np. 80 tie nd has to shut np Merchants Manual should be in the sion of every bnsioeas man, and the era Hind Book owned bV ever? r f-rthty contain information, in a th e 3 ot The R Donald Drug Co 628 Washington JsewMork will aenrj notion rerjemt ir centsj In stamps. e is eoroahiDg to 8U np with the bartender shoving Ite bottle ibe counitr to tne "Yonr i ai-cepted replied the editor it will disappear immediately r Iinilaeys Blood Searcher medicine for fever and ague, malaria, II Maud Don t Tail to use it ecraph aperatnr (reading this'- many yon whenever i-l. do yon u loo forward It s my m afraid he 11 get away a IMUand be cored. Misery w lo descnbe tbe mischief to and mind caused Ly habitual consti i The regular use of Averts Cathar 10 mild doses, will restore the I to healthy action. re arc some men BO violently oppos capital punishment that they won't paper They let their wlvea do it. od i plwd u tnarket, o ey grt their (nfton rtnel, fi mad Meat- Flih Storage of iD-kindt i um; focnd at a finrt-clua market. to keop np wtth tbe times and merit of ot ibe onblic [tfUrooaee delrveivd to any part of town tec of charge d we b m Ik. to pleaie. W H FHKTZ BttiMM A .Portlwd, KJdMtwfflTCMlTC Tnll InfemMloB wk rtfch vj- wfirs: BOOKBK NCRSEBXBS. Good par Ike nd nn -a nry nr cnomnmioB Send for tennA. HOOK KB (0., Y. "C j :o r m. Ii iLt, f-tomach, crfeatt au n t Ihc borrtbte dcpres- J J IH. ncv result from n tt i uuiiiorao reUef, and I bccuiie in flesh, and TCry much deMli- tncnd of mine, who had been .ir i afflntnl, adiiscd me to try r U. I did so, and with tbe t n-uH, M} food soon ceased to IIH nn apatite returned, and I n n and well as ever I UKPAKED BT J C ATKB CO lowen, Fur safe STOW HEERHAHS WELLSBQRQ, u NM I HUSHED SKY 11 i MORNING BY PROFESSIONAL CARDS. H Shaw, Will sell ieverarfiSes of desir- able goodss sflf very low prices bkfa'nce of the season WeMye just returned from the 9% owing to the lateness of tBe season bought some goods Very cheap, and propose to give our custpmers t ic, advantage of our purchases Our stock of 1> 1 (K. t-lore ,-M 1 tl U. u kburu. .------.i AT T J1 a block M M i; I (.u h, 1 1 Ofllce on M Mr I oinowiu. the bank L 1" 1N8I ly irlii I. 1'l.ljioot, i I I HURVE10R, 1] 1 1 Lie me nerthc 1 r 1 nc al tbe head of in IbM ly Me K K T K. lit ri H k A. Dung, 1 1 MV elfcboro, Pa. Omce In 1 tl gr N'-PLOR AT LAW t re J LtDtral avenue Virm.in H, Jttjan, T LAW Lt wreacevtlti Pa, Ofice uv x-k F hrnary 3, 1886 U L BaTdwlii, I is T Pa Ofllce In Wick j_ -e U II boro second b. Davis, W. D., s Wfcllaboro Pa Of r of K K Rarr Reaiaence on 188.' 1 H >fllcc WtllsboroInsurance I 1 -ccond story T AV -Mather, 1 Ul Pa Ufflct on na madt, m any part of Mi r.ut 15 Packer, i A r I H-b r> Ia Office i t 1 i k r P St UL Ul ,ck Mum 8 ret. I HI hell Cameron, I Wt rjbnro Pa. Oillct in r, i II ck VN M E-M 1 Cl t. 1 C 1 If! t ck u Located 1 arlv NT TAILOR, -w T r im and flomcnt c i, ___ tl ii g cuiwuintlj un and 1 buy for not nndt rtol L Pt rT clOlS mruntc 1 George Sty Fn.r ch Ki i nln cons l u y t and tlr nm atn 00 7 (0 Htn 880 am 200 3 00 t) m cm 3 la 11 30 82.> a m 11 m pm 08 10 40 am p m 10 00 40 3 00 a in p lift. P 00 11 t, ttS, K 2 W 1) 4 am p m ,10 Oo 00 3 00 p m am 7 r> 10t Niagara pm am 7 Oo 8 2H ll JO p am 7 10 Ul pmj. am 8 1 j 030 8 10 O 1 FtATlONS i i i 5 am m pm K B C Co 8-iO am p m o IT ,0 4o 7 4o 5 0 8 6 9 40 1 40 8 1 w 8 4 1JO 619 Dnndct Oil24-2 OU Wuttfns "00114, Ur am am pm J g" 848 910 "OK 4 01000 810 p m am a in 0101 CJO 8 uu 4 0-> 11 00 00 14 0 I 04 10 jo o.> 700 40L 1340 7 4o 11 7 lOjdpMUria 10 8 0> 140 ir f boro m 1 1 40 "To jj 10 Cedar 1 J9 Wnltrv i> 10 00 l> U 18 Short 04> Ul, 10 I.) I 20 piil SsR R 11 1 40 1 00 m p m 40 iJofl W 94 J 2 ''O 00 i I hlladt 0 m 11 IIO1UM Truffle Addlson Northern Pennsylvania J Hktd effect on Mol day Anpist 9 188 NORTH 531 i IslATIONS iMied G 1 HO D[ Add -vl 1 I tl H il 4 04b B N 11 40 4 jO 11 ,0 J 44 11 10 "0 U 10 0 lu dtaltrin jirto 10 i 0 400 o in 4 OH h Acn 1 y am Ki 0 (1040 4 10 1 4 00 10 10 Ivhurnt 1 1 0 41 (1 1 P e 4 i> I4j 04- 10 M 8 4 0> 8 10 f n i 40 1 10 n 1 1 U 7 Ii tci u _> 7 00 tUANKM BiKER.SlportMiml nt WELLS If qRO OAGOETT BROS Proprietors t r ral i art Df town han ffttcly t n I ncwlj funnel i s ttam 1 ral r If u 1 Ira ns fe U I DAC FTT r i i i v l e roll a t t iiHiii-Sf in v re -oruifje of t t v o n rH tra lo hy UUJtiO l to T> jw o r nst i M Al ML Iliil ItS ana ICE-CREAM N I 1 i, i rtl U k B ich a." i I illi 1 n ont of th n V. T t AY ..F NEVT TERM of the WeJJaboro Public 1 wit) cpui on MONDAY, AUGUST 30, 18S w th thi frtllmvlnj, experienced Corps of Instructors: II K RAFSI1 Principal u UOODRtm Ll f KAN6OM Junior Academic. I 1 fni) SMITH "Senior Grammar A I.OIK L MORSE, Middle Grammar ROSE D JUDOE, Junior Grammar CORA H. JAMES Intermediate A ANNA S ILLICK, luUrmedtatc B. ELLA MoINROY. Intermediate C AD DIE H. ttlEBSAMt Primary A CARRIE J HASTINGS Primary B The uniform encceup of thin Bclioofdnnnt, tl P punt j am tht moft courhin n dtmon-irauon of tscftl c n anai, ment. 1 lie nttuuti nee of ion res tin t eiudtots htutuicruiritd froia j ear to j eu nnd.no rut poBuble effort w 11 b spared-to ttdhtsln its good r p Q tat on Tbe incn rig attendance bun made it ner miry n Id one inort. to Llit, school 1 IIL ttliotls of action p irsuu! art (hose which hn c been approved by tbe best educators. Tli ILXI bookn art HIJ 11 minted with oral instn c tion by the tLact i rs and no pains art, Hparal to make the c canceled, and, O Ralph I If the trulh should bd known, of my everlasting shamU For my sake, if you love me save my good name and yours, and back up their story You see they are both agreed, and you were further from where she struck us than they were The men repeated their story again and again Morning broke, and before any one had had time to suffer very much a passing steamer, bound on the same jour ney picked up the whole company The Captain interrogated the men on waich and Mr Nutford as closely as possi ble There was no doubt about th'e facts The Paragon had been run down by a mysterious vessel the name of which so one had observed and which had taken advantage of the darkness lo desert the ship she had run into The home voyage was satisfactorily accomplished, and Ralph and former no longer hamper ed by duties of ample op portnoitiea of carrying on their love affair, which had been accompanied by such an overwhelming catastrophe Nutford eas ily succumbed' to Nellie's soft casuistry, ror 10 own uis neglect ar auiy woum be tq rum ttis career and hers, and would render their marriage, which- was lo him tt fore- gone conclusion, aa absoluteimpossibllity A minute inquiry naturally was held at Scrmgapatam, at the conclusion of which it was in official language there was some mysterysomewhere, and a good deal more in the circumstances of the collision loan, met or ear but that there direct evidence re flectkig upon lhe conduct of the, Bfth offl cer, wiio came- homt. from thjjmquiry a man ajboul whom nothing definite ia said but a good deal is implied ami m this un enviable state of mmrl he (bond waiting -for him Nellie, his affianced .bride and' a blue envelope The latter was from a lirm of solicitors, announcing that bis old uticlc bad died, leaving him his sole heir Thank (God'' he exclaimed Poor old gentleman be has done me a good turn at the moment I required it most Nellie am a rich man To mor row I throw up this profession, which, If I (Cared little about it before, I loathe now This day will be married, and then well abroad for six months Docs this suit your views? Tbe answer of the yonng person address ed has not been recorded it is sufficient for us to know that two months later Nel Ralph installed In an exquisite little apartment looking out upon the Champq Elysees, and her bus band, who hart been down to tho Riviera to look out for a permanent for himself and his bride was hastening hack lo her in a first class carriage on the Pans Marseilles railway lu the corner opposite to him sat an American who with the affability of that free born race, had entered into conversa lion with him and the conversation had turned upon the shipping at Marseilles. "You seem to know a thing or two about boats stranger, observed the Amer lean connected wHh years You were! Then you" must have come across some funny yarns In connection with some of those same steamers. Lord bless you! there's a deal of romance con pecUd with those lineal I could (ell you a there it wouldn't Interest you, perhaps On the replied Mr Nut ry much like to hear rteoces We have the O, they're not my experiences, but a friend of mine from Chicago told me a rum story about the Cable Line a few days ago Remember the Paragon? Went down mysteriously beginning of the year Yes, you know. I'll tell you a alory about that U you like. Shall I? Very well, we have got half an hour It happened like this, but, aind, you must promise on your British honor never to let this go any fur llier All right. patam under lhe. care of the Captain I' (8he made tremendous love to the yonng spark, playlon the pompous old ass .of a Captain off against him, and got him to herself on deck one dark night, when WHOLE NO. men sent on as part of tbo extra crew by the Colonel himself and Instructed by him Whilst ehe flirted with him well ont of sight under the bridge those two men let down over the side a Remington dynamite machine and blew the blessed old boat to blazes, and then cockered np a yarn about a mysterious weasel' tbat had come upon them suddenly, run them down and got clear Lord I I knew you'd laugh This yonng fool. In no end of a funk about his certificate, supports tbelr yarn and of course, never says a word about the girl They come over, the losa la proved bona fide accidental, and Colonel Jedadiah Z Bpinks neta sterling clear profit bang out of the insurance offices' But watt a minute, the end's tbe tragic part of It Tbat beautf ul girl, with her marvelous talents, tbat would mako her an Empress if she wanted to be one, goes and falls In real thing the man, and wont touch a pennv of her share of tbe plunder Waste of genius, I call it But all women are alike And egad, sir she's married him I What d'ye think of that for a Most startling and amusing But there is Paris. Thank you so much for your de lightful company. Your story has indeed Interested me greatly Onr Hoioine. From tht Dotion Trtuucript She wean DO crown of rojal state She KekB no battle-ground r Among the of tbe great No trace of her Is found I7o thrilling poem bean her name She treads no classic From Science frfir she asks oot fame Nor honon great or email Wbere Jruhton'a votaries seen. Where and pleunie meet ocver reigns a social queen. Her Wbjects at her recL small and humble sphere ehe nlla. And not for sell she lives; A willing car to others' llts Deep sympathy she glrea She simply soothes the wounded ouc, Grown nervous ID tbe strife When llfo seems dark she sheds tho sou Of bope opon hie Hie With earnest woids abe stirs tbe young To higher aim and thought, locites to deeds whoso famo U sung, When she's long since forgot et most of all ay what she is, A soul pure, true and strong, A blessed influence she gives To help all good grow on Bbe bears one name, tbe oobleat, best That earth to us can leud To all the hearts ber work bath blest, A sure and steadfast frtcod She fills no honored place below, Is often sad and lofie. Bat wbcQ God takes ber borne i know Be 1! lead her near the throne Interesting: Paragraphs. CAnani on THE FLY German photographers have succeeded in photographing a projectile in the course of its. flight, and some of these photographs the head of condensed air which pre cedes every shot It is said to M this head which prevents even skillfnl rifle men from hitting an empty eggshell when hung on a Ions thread The air blows the shell out of the way of the bullek A ORICAT OLACIBR. The grandeur of the Muir glacier sinks into insignificance, compared with that which guards lhe coast of Icy aa seen by the voyagers on the last cruise of the Fmta says the Alaskan It appeared to be about forty miles long Its height could no( -be estimated as tbe day was cloudy and Us upper obscured, but enough could, be seen to indicate that it was al least times as high as the is to say eight or nine hundred feet. A BOTAL IMBV NUI18E It ie said that Queen "Victoria can wash and dress A baby with any woman and can generally dingonse thfe trouble when a child cms. The Queeu's skill in baby nursing was acquired from the famous Mrs Lillty who attended her Majesty at the birth of the nine royal children. This excellent person was a greal favorite with the Queen who honored her with her con fidence upon the most delicate matters When Mrs Lilley died in her 92d year her Majesty unaffectedly grieved feeling abe had lost a true friend The old fiurse to the last proved worthy af her rniatress s confidence DANDY SAVAGES. The dudes among the Crow Indiana in Canada are said to be very particular about their dress Many of theyoung men, who in the summer lime wear nothing to speak of but a breech clout, have this as bespan gled as a circus actor a trunks. They also paint their bodies aad wear no end of ea glcs' feathers Everj buck has a Hule case, sludded with brass nails in Which are contained paint, feathers, a looking glass and a variety of breech clouts The maidens wear a sort of light and airy Moth er costume, highly colored stockings and paint their hair aad persons a bright vermilion A 6YPSY OHAHIOT A gypsy chief recently had an elegant chariot manufactured at Baltimore The body of the vehicle, which overhangs the wheels is divided Into two apartments, the back portion being reserved for sleep- namented with checker boards, a favorite game of this romantic people Tbe whole interior Is of polished poplar and besides having places for clothes there Is a secret recess for money or valuables which would tantalize a professional thief to locate The windows are of cot and stained glass, and folding doors are Used to securely e and the arts -------J, and the whole outside body is covered with gold and silver stars This handsome vehicle is valued at (900 USB FOR A DULL PBBACHKB. An honest woman confessed not long ago tbat although the minister whose Church she attends, of which ehe la a mem ber in excellent standing, is not alalljiked aa a preacher by many of his cbngrega tiOD, she finds that bo IB doing her text and the opening of the ahe prosecuted Ibe witnesses for perjury They were balled bj the rich man s friends and fled to Canada. Then Mrs Duaa went to Canada In men's clothes, became a friend of Mr Brown, one of the witnesses and furnished him capital for a peddling trip Tben she induced him to cross the Niagara river, Brown not knowing the stream Ooce on this side, she had him locked up and procured a requisition from the Qov ernor of Pennsylvania. This is the process which lhe rich man fought before Gov Hill on behalf of his witness, al leg trig that Brown was induced to enter the country by fraud But Qov Hill granted the req uisilion and Brown, and perhaps tbe millionaire will have to answer m Lhe Pennsylvania courts Republic- an Oar Presidents. BY O KACLO8KKB FrvmSt Father Waelungton left ue anited and free And John Adams repelled French aggression at sea Boondleac Louisiana was Jefferson a crown And Madleon'B war iblpe won lasting renown .And the steamboat was launched then Monroe gave (he world Hie new doctrine and Qnlncy his banner onfutled For protection Then Jacluon with railways and BpOiK teflVanBDreahngebankraptcieUppamca andbroils Losing Harrison, Tyler by telegraph spoke And the Mexican war biongbt accessions to Polk Taylor lived not wear the reward of ambition And Fillmore B pad slave law stirred np abolition So, compromise falling Pierce witnessed the throes Of the trouble In Kflncnq, Through tbe halting Buchanan. Bnt Lincoln waa eent To extlDgnfeh rebellion. Tbcn some years were spent Reconttrnctlng by Johneon Grant lessened oar debt Hayes resumed and arQeld was On Reform which as Arthur soon found came to stay Now for President Cleveland good citizens pray Ben. Parley Poore. BKETCU OF A GENIAL WASniNOTOrfCOBttES- PONDKNT Ffoat Um For over forty years Ben Perley Poort a pen has amused and instjructed bis coun try men, aad in most of his writings for tbe press he employs a peculiarly felicitous style, which might be denominated SQ ciable, inasmuch as thty are m that easy familiar strain w6 might face} bt would employ were he sealed with Lhe reader engaged >n comfortable eomersaiioQ In deed, it ia probably the secret of tbe popu lanty of his writings that he employs tbe same genial style tbat distiDgn shes the telling oE hia varied and amusing stones for which he ia so celebrated The amouoI of labor thai Major Puore has crowded into bi3 life may well Lxcile wooder tie has been a printer and u member of the diplomal'c service a cor respondent and an author throughout his whole career, a soldier during a portion of lhe war, and a public servant for mauy years a historical investigator Lo a consid erable extent and a profound student of a special branch of law to say nothing of his general acquirements in that depart ment of study while in agriculture his penmen la have made him a distinguished authority He haa been the geoial friend of most celebrities of Washington society for the last half century Besides his labors as correspondent he was before the war Clerk of the House Committee on Foreign Affairs, and subse quently Clerk of the Senate Committee on Foreign Gelations, under Chairman Charles Bumner After hoborablo service in the IJDIOU Army, he was made Clerfc of Print Ing Records bhd Biographer of the (Jon DmQptory These positions have given the old'correspomlent the fullest op portunity of knowing the men who have molded National affairs and the influences thai have molded the men themselves That his services havd been of the very highest value to legislators and Admmta tratioos most be taken for granted and there are few men in the land who could bndg such a technical knowledge and such a peculiar fitness to bear as have dig Unguiahed Mr Poore ID his position for so many years. His walk of life at the capital has thrown him m tbe society of thousands of eminent men whose names are familiar to every American and hia peculiarly ingratiating qualities have placed him on a footing of intimacy with them all Thus we hare had lhat most entertain Ing series of showing with whata wonderfully retentive memory he has stored away the countless anecdotes bo has heard or the characteristic incidents he has observed in connection with every man of note who has di'Uaguiahed the capital by his presence Major Poore is hearty, genial and jovial the acutest of observers and always ready to pour out the wealth of reminiscences and anecdotes thus gathered It is one thing to remember a an other to tell it well, but Major Poore has this art to perfection, and is justly celebrat-i ed as a raconteur In the sprightly coover not get a profit out of 'em So what d'ye think he does? Ships 'em all aboard the Paragon as.cargo, declares them as Indian bullion embroideries, and Insures "them against all risks at He spotted tbe Paragon because there was a young fool of a fifth officer on board, named Hud fords or Relford, or something like that, who was just tbe kind of soft be wanted, and he had .him sounded, to Jnake sure, one day at Delmomcp'a, by a friend who went and sat with him and entered into as yon and! have done, and taen ibe Colonel got and without relations, with the cheek and the pluck and the beauty of down BUM ncctv, aim i iiutiuti II11U when I do (hfe I always get along to much better during the week, (or that Sunday morning hour la about the only one lhat I hare which U entirely fiee from demands upon me." Far be it from Die to recom mend this practice, but in view of the preaching, which no often is a "darken- ing of she ma; be forgiven, and certainly the Idea of quietly planning out the week's work la to be commended Sev York Etaung Pan. oss iraituf a PKMisrzNCB. his niece, making the voyage lo Seringa experiences, or his sparkling powers of repartee As an after-dinner speaker also he excels, and indigestion Deed not be fear ed when aided by a sauce of his keen wiL To make sausage Keep its shape in flat after making them the size yon wish, d p them into flour This will ef fectoalty prevent thfiir falling apart. up floe and mixed with cold boiled ham also minced fine, and all well seasoned with a regular mayonnaise dressing, make a delicious filling for sand "5 assault upon Thadejend proved two men on whose farms he held mortgages Mrs. Dqnn When lemons sre cheap it Is prudent to lay In good store of tiiem, as they will keep well b; running a fine, string through the nib at the end and hanging them up-in a dry place, taking care that they do not touch each other More Work for the Scientists TITK RBMAHKABLE Ot AN OHIO FARMED from tKk Tori Tribu When the scientists have finished thtlr investigation of the Charleston earthquake there is interesting work awaiting them in Mercer county Ohio where la the Mansfield Shield and Banner a Ute "old and well known resident has be come the cynosure of DC ghboring eje by reason of an experience which may confi dently be termed unusual ifTnot unique Some wedks sgo a dispatchjfras published relating the facts nf case as thtn known Bylvtster Itedyan was a farmer and a manNof ariod cBflrac ter On a certain day however sur veyibg bis fields be found tbat were perishing of drouth whereupon he employed language of so high a tehmcra ture that Ibe atmosphere eurrounrhngTi tn hterallj incandescent His ntigti bors, assumiDg that this condition of things could ttot be good for bia heallb procured a long pole and with the best mtLtuiona tried to push him into a cooler stratum of air but tbe caught fire and burned off before aoy resuhs wtre atiaioed and the story coded With the abruptness of a dime novel instalment leaving tbe denoue meat uarevealed H seems if we uiav credit the and Banner Ibat Mr Heclyau a mt.lamor phosis proceeded until he was transformed into a red hot stone statue This 19 no doubt wbat persons disposed to use slang would be apt to call "a strong order but tbe Shield and Bitnner docs not ask Ua readers to trust its unsupported assertion U is goid eno lo publish a letter from a Justice of the Peace Mr J O Stout of Limn and n id Interesting to know that citizens of Sb I h regard Mr Stout as a man of undoubted veracity and they accept his letter na a trutlifu! statement Now Mr Stout In hia letter that he has personally invta ligated tbe matter whfle attending a Gon Kressional Convention ID Mercer counts He gtjes on I was very mere lulous un tilj I visited the late residence of Mr Ited y who is an old and well known re-i dent of Mercer county and 1 found lo my intense borror that tbe story is irue m cv erp hotr ble deUil The body had sufficiently to be removed to lhe family residence wtitrt, it is now stand og as a piece of statuary on an improved ju tal in the front jard and being visited by thousands This picture the Uti lamcnftd Mr Redyan servir nas his own m nuratntHD I at tbe same decorating thi, front ard of bis late rest Icnce is remarkable and stnkmir tho Lhe frank and willing tes tiraonial of the investigating Justice of ihfc Peace would have been mort. convincing to the had he been f rlunale enough to arrive before Mr Ittiivan had coolul down l the possib litus of his prca cot monumental condition 1 he Mana fiLld ir i B inner hardl) rises to the height of the occahion in leed let er from a Justice of the Peace who has seen Mr Iledyan in bis fnjforinc tiate so to speak is of o urse in ten. IIOL i I let lers from Just ces ibe Peace naturally must be liut what is demmli I w b greater urgeoc> is a sheaf no most of our money is made from people who have nothiog he matter with them MCE LITTLE GIKI KItOM MOM. MEVTVrLLE A link New girl wh Ie spending tbe summer ID the country became very much attached lo a pa chicken which she wished to take borne wuh her Thai's impossible Sadie said her mother We woultln t know Wtiat to do w lh it [f iu don l want to leave U hen wl n t la L nek James kill H and it f >r supper11 mamma sobji.d the hule girl cao I have all tht. while meaf A Vm ZLALOL ERT Do joii knou said a Ntw Emi c, ration Gommisbioner earnestly to a joung woman from Lurope who said she WHS a Mormon conTtrt on her way lo I t that u a I pr jbab luj the onl> use tUey vi ill have for you wil be to marry y m to some gch> haired old Mormon am cer as his Thhi d csn t me n plied Lhe en thusiat ic j eonverl uhen he dies 1 il In. tl t j widow IQ the lamily Will 3 ou plense teil me when the first tram leavt_s ir bait Lake C tv THE bEA t Vt HT AT LAST Aa the scboontr O G ke was roming down the Patuxent river Marvlaod some thing was seen in the water which at a distance looked like a large cross ing the river A nearer view led the crew to declare that it was a homed serpent When the vessel drew still Dearer lhe moo ster turned and made directly for the O Coke and the crew got out poles and pikes to repel boarders. Thev were not used for the animal proved to be a gray squirrel which wasiaken lired out from lhe wa ter and given his liberty on tbe schooner TTIVT ALTERED THE CASE Beg pardon sir said a Chicago hotel clerk as he took very small grip sack hande 1 him by a belated traveler who had come in at 11 10 p m and asked for a r im hu' our rules require cash in ad vance from guests with Hule or DO bag gage Boy show the centleman up to room 38" siilh floor Dollar and a half e r if you please S r said the guest I am an Iowa druggist m a probibi ion lown V thousand pardons exclaimed the clerk Boy take the gentleman Lo room 27 floor Nevermind the cash never mind the cash THE VEKS1ON My dear said a young Chicago wife to her husband after they bad returned from the wedding lour and settled down to housekeeping in looking over this box of books I find your fathers old family Bible and here is an entry under the head of Births which says 'Albert W born May 3 1840 Didu t you tell me you were 3? years old? Ah replied Albert pleasantly, that B a copy of the old version. It B full of mis takes In my office down town I have a family Bible of the new revision I 1! bring u home this evening Albert anew family Bible waa found to contain a different version of his birthday, and lhe slight cload that had htavered over hia household was dispelled A POLITICIAN S FOH BEAUTY I want to thank Lhe ladies for their pres ence here to night and 1 want to say to them that I am their worshiper I want to say to them that Eden was lonesome until God Almighty took from Adam a rib and made woman and ever since that time God bless her she haa. been to man a ministering angel to wipe away the tear oE gnef and sorrow smooth the wrinkles from his brow lo scatter flowers m the pathway of his life she ia the embodiment of all that is beautiful m her presence is expressed (he perfection of la painted upon her cheeks in heavenly smiles, "flows in her ringlets, mores in her step, charms in her voice, throbs in her breast! and mingles and shmea in the grace of her love and I pray she will use her influence in Jhe political world in her ownlway and pleasure to place her hnmble servant m the Gubernatorial chair Can dtdate Taylor,