Smethport Citizen, December 24, 1859

Smethport Citizen

December 24, 1859

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Issue date: Saturday, December 24, 1859

Pages available: 4

Previous edition: NA

Next edition: Saturday, February 18, 1860 - Used by the World's Finest Libraries and Institutions
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Publication name: Smethport Citizen

Location: Smethport, Pennsylvania

Pages available: 97

Years available: 1859 - 1861

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All text in the Smethport Citizen December 24, 1859, Page 1.

Citizen,The (Newspaper) - December 24, 1859, Smethport, Pennsylvania O jo If lublubed every Saturday morning in Smrth port. Coonty, fllf paper will bo not from thk offlet I 500 GOO WOO Ifcmner no paper w o no om film 'or in ot Uie puty I is tent but repuUUiim for faoneittr. Uoleti Myment IB made ft 50 will be invaria tty charged, Those (ubKribcru who receive the from Uw Carrier will be charged f I 50. SATES OF ADVEBTI8ING. Till be obliged' ft 50 pe iquare of 10 lines, one or three A number of lines loss than ten will be chirped a iqntre. The following will be charged for three months and upwurde 3 months 6 monthi liquire (350 3 do 350 450 3 do 450 550 Vcolomn 600 750 X do 800 1800 1 do 15 00 25 00 The foregoing will be gtrietly to unless a contract to entered in __, Surinam Cards, includin? paper, wfll charged JHMT year. _ BOOK The office is wpplied with LARGE WELL SELECTED assortment of frnticg Material a large proportion of which. entirely new. and the that he prepared to execute ornamental PAMPHLETS, OIRCU- avSiysSS CARDS. SILL HEADS, POSTEKS, BLANKS, GATALOGVSS..PRO- ORAUtfKa, dee., in a rtyle not to be snrpaased fcy any estabiuihmeDt in this or adjoining coun- ties. gf Blanks of every description constantly on baud, B. BOTJGHTON ELDRSO. Attorney and GounwHot at Lav. M'Kean County Pa. Business to his care for the counties of M'Kcsn, 1'otUr 1 Elk will he promptly attended to. Office in the Court House, second floor. W. A. WILLIAMS. Attorney and Counsellor at Law. Smethport W'Kean Cooiity, Win. A. HICHOLS, Attorney ami Counsellor at Law, Smcthporl M'Kenn County, Pa. Office one door south of 1 Brownell'ft store. WARREN COWLES, AUoirey at Law, Smethport. M'Kean Pa. Will ittend to Professional businoB in the counties of M'Kean, Potter and Elk. JOHN C. BACKUS, Atnrncy and Counsellor at. Law, Srocthpott U'Kcan Co., Pa. Wil! attend to all in profeimiou in the Counties of M'Ketn Potter and Elk. Office C. K. Swtwell i Brother's Store. J. C. CHANDLER, J.'C. Chandler, Painter, Grainer, Paper Hanger and iJlait-r, Smethport, M'Kcsn County. Pa If. B. Glass cutting done with nentnownnd dispatch at nil timed. Orders left'at the Cit- Office promptly attended to. OREBN'B HOTEL. A. Wright Kenzua. Warren county, Pa. Hre Fable will be Applied with tne best tlio eonntry affords, and he will spare DO in accommodating his gncsts. BBNH BTT HOUSE. Bmethport, M'Kotti Co, Pa. R. Bennett, Pro. the Court House. A. new, large, commodious and Well furnished house. CARVER HOUSE, By ioha H.'Bull, Water Street, Warren'Co, Pa, Office. 43-t BLDRED HALF WA HOUSE. Nathan Deiinn, Proprietor. This house is ditu- ated half-way between Swotbport and Olcan, If you want a good dinner thut w the place to atop. POBEB HOUSE. Itamtxo TDK rujiuc sqiiAju, oitix, le. T. JA1CU K The Fobca House is entirely new and built of Brick, and is furnished in modern Rtyle. The proprietor flatters himtielf that bia accommoda- are not surpassed by any country Hotel in Weittcrn New ork. Carriages run loubd from the Sew York Erie Rail Road. 13-tt DR. W. Tf, MCCOY, Has been during the past year engaged in prepa- tion to resume tho practice of his piolWion, and will in future dctota bis attention to its aereral departments. Oflice on Main ktrnear his residence. 6. DR. Ji DARLIRO, Physician and Snrgron; Smcthport, Pa. Ofi'ceon Street, a few East of the Academy. DR. 8. D. FRBBBfAN. Physician and Surgeon, Smetfanort Pg. Office at his residence, one door north of Metho' dist Churchi A. N. TAYLOR, OealerTiin Suple and Fancy Dry Goods, Oil Clotls, Koody-Madd Clothing, Hats, Bout Twt Shoes, Gniccries, Hardware, doors cost of the Aster House. H. B. BUTLER ft CO, Wholesale and Retail Dealers in Staple and fancy Dry Goods, Carpclting, ClothingAnd General Furnishing Goodia, Boots and Shoes, Wall and Window Look' ing Glasses Ac At Olcan, N. YJ SMITH BROTHERS. Jf o. 1 Excelsior Block, Clean, IT. T. Wholesale and Retail in Dry Groceries, Hats, and Boots and Shoes, Carpets, Oi I Cloths and all other kiads of Mer- chandise.- E. B. Dealer in Stoves, Tin Ware, Jappened Wart, Ac. West side of the Public Sroetbport, Fa. Custom work done to order on tho shor- test notice and in the most substantial manner. A CARD. J. K. H AFFEY offers his as Geologist to parties owning or wirhing to- jnrchase mineral lands in M'Keata, JElk, Clearfield, or Jefferson Counties. ff and faithfully rcpor- teJ. July 27, 18S9. W. K, KJHO. BorveTor, Draftsman, Cnnveyanecr and Real Estate Agent. Office in North-west corner of th> Court House, op iitalra. DAKIBL UVOBURt- to tr, a. LARD coMrAinr.J Principal Office at Bradford, Pfc. Branch at Fox Township, Elk Co., Good timber, and mineral lands for tale in Jarga or small quantities, containing bitnmin- and lime atone, iron and paints of superior qualities. I in BoWotY.llow Mill at B. MATHER'S DEVOTED TO THE PRUfCIPtBS OF DEMOCBAOT AS EXPOUNDED BT JEFFEBSON ADD HIS COMEBEB8. DECEMBEB 34, 1859. KO.17 "Briogfiif orrf Qi." The time for toil U past, and hight has The last and saddest of their, harvest Worn out with labor long and wearisome, )rooping and faint, the reapers hasten home, Each laden with Ms sheato. of the laborera thy feet I gain, Lord of the harvest I and my spirit griercr Chat I am hardened not much with grain At with a heaviness of heart and brain Master, bettold my ihlaves I Few, worthlevslytt their .trifling weight Through all my frame a weary aching leaves for long I stroreled with; my hapless hte, And (tared and toiled till it was dark and Vet these all ray ehcares. ''nil well I know I have more tares than and flowers.dry stalks, and withered leaves; Therefore I and eep, as at thy feel Jcncel down and revere "Master, behold n y I" know these blossoms, e nsterinff heavily their folded leaves, ,111] beauty be With evening dew opo i Jan claim no value nor 'herefore shall fragraii The glory of toy sheaves !o do I gather strength For Tell I know thy'. Not, what I did. but what I strove to And though the full, rif e e Thou wilt accept i ny ASAXIOLLIF6 tly, and repeat. hope anew; ly p itient love perceives rh 'UN. Am t. Knoltin was genuine speci- men of a down east log chopping, traling, fishing, sea-going, iropbibious animal, passing his time between the ocean ana the main land. n one of his voyages befbro tbe mast he went to Porto f ico, and by some chance it happened that his vessel sail- ed without him. ASH felt somewhat when compelled lo prolopg his visit, and eagerly watched for an opportunity of re to) ning to his native and. One evening as h 5 was walking by he seaside in melancholy guise, he was nddenly snrroande d by a gang of Brit- sh Bailors, belong! ig to the sloop-of war Terrible, comnanded by Captain Bigshot, and then b asy in taking water, and other stores, pi to a con- innnnce of her thrse years' Asa was disposed to show fight At first, ut as the press gang were armed with cutlasses, be concluded his policy was to submit quietly, and 00 he en- cred the barge without opposition, and was taken on board the sloop. That night, as ho lay awake brood- ng over his misfortunes, he chalked >ut his conduct, which was no other ban to feign a simplicity, almost to diocy, and to little knowlr >dge of seamanship as possible.' 'He knew how to throw into his counte- anceanair of complete vacancy and nnocenco, calcnhted to throw the brewdest observei off bis gnard. Tho next day a dish of boiled beanr waa set before him without any "fix- Our frionc flared up at tho meagerness of the mtertainment. Bilcd beans an i no he ex- laimed. This is a little too mean, I wow! 'Tain't fit for a dog." "Hadn't yon be' tor complain to the aptain 1" asked the black-whiskered oats-wain, with a That's it, old EOS remarked nollon. That' a bright idee, cap'n -so I will." And, regardless of opposition, be oltcd into the Cab n where Capt Big- lot sat at dinner with three or four ulcers. Who the dene art asked "Yon seem to like said tbe captain. i "Tftiii, I guess I do." said Asa.'. "But not raw, as yon fellers cat it" "How then 7" "Wai, I like to turn aiticfcinto the bungholo of a hogshead, and then pal it boat and drop it into my Ain't it good, though Wai, I guess It is." "Asa, captain." rf, v" Jonathan, I say, you can go now, and I'l see about the pork to morrw." Asa vent back to his astonished shipmates, reporting that the captain was a pretty-slick sort of One day when the men didn't "tum- ble up" from below with the requisite alacrity, the boatswain; rattan in band, gave each of them a" reminder" with his stick as be came on deck. Asa was the last, oa but, watching the boatswain's bamboo, be canghl. tbe weapon in bis band, and dexterously twisted it Out of the officer's grasp; "Hallo, said be, '4 hope you did not mean to bit me, 'cause it hurts d feller. No, I thought forgiye you and he threw tbe rattan overboard, escaping to the quarter deck, where bis origin- ality and supposed imbecility secured him impunity. In fact, be was I treat- JM. ie captain, firmlj fixing his savage yes on the Yankee.' "Who be Maculated why, I'm Asa T. Knollin; Captain, I ope you're bow's the folks t bum f pretty sp 7, eh f" Tour name's 'onathan, I said the captain, mimicking tbe usual one of KnoIIin. "No, it ain't j il's Asa T. Enollin, iptain." i Well, what do you want of me P' u Seems to me vou live pretty well ere, said Asa, looking over be table. tall fodder; chick- is, bama, pineap; tie, and o be .joyful, our Cook han't d d the clean thing by s. though 8'pose yon know nothing bout it, BO I thou ht I'd step np here nd lot'yon know bow they serve. us own stairs. Why, eaptainfthey give usboans without "Beans without pork 1 ixclamed the captain, willing to humor the, character, "leacaptain, beans without pork. Jon't that beat all natur "What do yon live on when you are t home asked the taptald, "Fork and chowder, apjacks, and answered "What are asked the captain. Don't yon ktown what flapjacks bat. They're made of floor, eggs, milk and water, beaten Up kerslap, and bey're slottered into a frying-pan done irown, urved np with butter and mo- aisei, whichever you choose, and if hey don't go down tlick, there's no tones in of a and, Taking up a cannon ball, one day, he asked: What in the world is this yore, captain what we keep to popper, tho Yankees answered Captain Big- shot. 1 Want to said Asa; f' bow do they work We put 'em into those big guns and fire 'em off." S wo w I you don't say so. Dp they- travel pretty fast, captain You can't see Hurt a baby if they bit Yes, when they are fired ou gun." Not other ways "No." "Then here goesl" cried Asa; handling the'missile like a bowling-ball he let it drive among 'the legs_of tbo officers and toon, shouting, let her Cries of rage and pain followed. Seems to me, said Asa, cooly, "them 'ere things does hurt a feller if they ain't fired out of a .gun. One day, Capt Bigshot cal aft said be, tbejre's boat along side; you' may got traps go ashore. I His Majesty can do without you. Wol, replied Ana, j> fore yon spoke I had pretty much conclnd- ded to quit 1 km make .better [wages fishin', by a great eight Besides I want to go hum" and see the Good bye, shall see you again." I think said the captain. Guess 1 shall. Good said Asa, and with a light heart he bade adieu to the Terrible. More than throe years afterwards, during the war of 1812, a British armed lying at St Johns, was boarded and in a dark night, by a band of Yan-kee privateers.' The leaders of tbe expedition then Bought the mander and demanded his sword. In- dignant and confounded, Captain Big- shot asked the name of his captor. Lord bless yon, answer- ed a familiar voice, "don't yoa know me I'm Asa T. KnoIIin, that board- do along o'yon, a spell back at Porto Bico. I told you T guessed I .should see yon again, and when a Yankee guessea anything.'it's sure to-.happen. Make yourself comfortable, captain and excuse me for a moment, 'cause I've got to haul, down your flag, run up the stripes, find work the vessel into dwp arrested at Boston, for stealing Pork, 'made'the following defence: "From ray youth upwards I have loved baked beans, I have a passion, for t liat Mibstantjial dish that baffles all description. Without beans I am miserable: I With 1 leans I am happy. Beans! I want for break- I want for dinner, a id cold beans for supper. A few. day! since my pork barrel was empty. Wl tat was 1 to do I bad plenty of beans, but not a pound of pork1. I was in despair, and kqew not what to do. If I missed my-pork and beans I should die, and whihrfn this frame pf mind I wandered through the streets' until my eyes fell upon clear and I have made a mess ot it by taking it If I bad gone clear I should hare bad pork 'enough for my beans for months. This is my iel my weakness." iBT ODO of the last stories told about drunken men wants confirmation. It is said that one of these in staggering around met with a! large globe lamp, with letters upon it. Mistaking it for tbe moon be said: Well, I'm stump- ed if somebody baint stuck an adver- tisement on tne moon." WUVH. SEWABDtt JERTJ8ALHC The Albany Evening Journal pub- lishes extracts from the journal of Mr. Soward, which will be read with inter- est: JfBUSAiKM, Sep. 26.1850. I have mentioned already one mon eatery or more in the Holy Land. The early European .Christians conceived, that there was great merit in visiting, by way of pilgrimage, the scenes of tne sufferings of tbe Saviour, but they found the whole country in the hands of ferocious and savage enemies of the religion of tbe Cross. Travel could not be safely performed, nor could en- tertainment be found. European stran- gers and religious men founded monas- teries everywhere, often strongly forti- fied, as places of safety.for tbe pilgrims and of hospitality, and these yet re- main. They are Catholic, Greek, Prot- estant and Abyssin- ian and, inasmuch as the dangers of travel still remain in large districts, ai.d there are few taverns for the ac- commodation of Europeans, they are the resort of the traveler of tho pres- ent day. You are received and lodged, generally supplying your own provi- sions. They tarnish you security and a .place to eat and sleep. If you have any peculiar claim to respect or con- sideration, they furnish yon everything else graituiously. in all'cases; but all right-minded persons, on leaving them, present a gift to the establishment equal to the cost of tbe accommoda- tions. These exceedingly useful tutions ore located, with piona rever- ence, on the sites of most memorable events in the life of the Savior and bi.a Apostles; and, haying been so early located, they are interesting monu- mcnta. Palestine, in its social condition, presents other and mon- uments of tbe same character. You see a party of Syrians or Arabs at rest in their camp, or on their march, and yon have exactly before you the rest or the progress of a party of persons in the same country twio thousand years ago. Patriarchs, women, children, maidens, "amid swarms of camels, asses and goats. Loathsome lepers meet you you enter or depart from the gates of the city, -begging bread; but there is no divine persons here now to heal them. The blind, the lame, the epileptic, are always in your way so- liciting relief. Medical aid, or medi- cine that wjll afford relief, is expected by tbe sick at the hands of any person of condition who passes by. Yoa see two intimate friends meet or cover each other with Yon see a party at dinner or at supper. There is one dish, which is always li- quid. Each eats by dipping a sop into tbe common dish. So you see how ra- tional and probable are the histories of tbe betrayal of our Lord by Judas. But I must On with my journal: We left the good monks of Kamlah at five o'clock on Thursday morning, and through inconceivably crooked and narrow pathways, emerged upon the plain of Sharon. An hour or two suf- ficed to bring us into tbe mountains of Jndea, which separate that plain from tbe valley of Jordon and the Dead Sea. The ascent is steep, the mountains are a mass or system, irregular and almost unrelieved by valleys. In fact all of Palestine, including tho site of Jerusa- lem and the scenes of Scripture history, consists of these mountains; etcept tho beautiful plan'of Sharon, which lies be- tween them and tbe Mediterranean Tell weary hours we toiled in making our way np those mountains to find tno Holy City, the summit of one; we descended it only-to ascend another still higher, and the roads often sharp, steep, stone stair- ways, Which only a trained animal can ascend or descend safety. Nor have yon ever seen any such mountain scenes. Grordens, fields, trees, plants and shrubs disappear; chalky rocks lie heaped on beaps, no house or habitation of man or beast, or verdure, except here and there a tuft of brown dead bushes or withered for want of water or sign of life, except here and there a shepherd, armed, with his reed, and his dog and bis flock of sheep and routs, which extract dome juice from be roots of this dwindled and stunted vegetation. Then once in a long way we find aravine where water is detained during .the dry season, and hero are small fields and gardens, but the gene- ral and almost exclusive aspect pf the scene is one of desert and desolation. We found a ruined Tillage on a high eminence; bearing tho name of Latro- nm. Tbe legends of the Christians say hat it took Ha name from the fact that t was tbe homo of the'malefactor who suffered death -with the Saviour, and was pardoned by him on the Farther on I descended into the valley of Jeremiah, which is held to have been tbe birthplace of the Prophet who most onchingly struck the chords of the learts of .his earnest and devotional countrymen. Descending the next mountain I found cares and seemingly tombs in a hamlet which contains per- haps half a dozen families, but tho ru- ins of many habitations. This is the village of Kamatha, the birth plsco ol Samuel; and the place where 'he recei- ved the sublime call to it of Ood, and I almost fancied that f- stood over 'the cave of the witch of Endoi, when aho" called up tbe dead at tbe entreaty ml Saul. I walked through the '.brook, now all dried where David took tbe five pebbles to supply the Ming 'with which bo conquered; the giant of tho I did not refuse to believe when they told me I was- now in the valley where Abraham dwelt with Ma family and flocks, and now on the sum- mit of tbe mountain where the Sun WOE stopped in his course at the command of Joshua' to prolong tbe battle 'which was to result in tbe victory of tbe peo- ple of Israel. It was a weary journey through a sad and mournful land, relieved by an occasional rest under tbe shade of a rock or a solitary olive tree, for Jeru salem seemed to ba a promised but unattainable when we reached at last at fonr o'clock the sum- mit of a hill higher than all we' bad passed, and right before me 'on' the rocky plain, at the distance of a mile, stood the Holy City. It was not the ancient Jerusalem, not a vast metropo- not even a midmval city tike Borne, but a modern built town of small 'cir- cuit, enclosed with a graceful military wall, andf surmounted with a citadel, towers, steeples and monuments beau- tiful to look upon, but disappointing all the conceits I bad formed regard to its aspect. Filled with .veneration for it by its wonderful history, and expect- ing to find its sacred monuments every- where speaking their own great expla- nations could not consent to enter it rashly and rudely, I dismounted1 and gat down upon a rock surrounded by tombs, and contemplated the scenes I was about to enter, under the.fkvor of tbe declining sun. We dismissed one equipage and walked slowly on, ing by half tbe city to find a gate in tho wall. The, road, like., oil, I had traveled, was only'-al camel's' path over loose stones and fixed rocks, np and down, but nt length we found tho hole in tbe wall, Tarkish sentinels on gdard, and a narrow, low, street, through tbe middle of which, along- the gutter, we made our way, jostling now against horses, asses, camels, Turks, Arabs, Jews and Christians, all differ- ing from each other in costume and ad- dress, but all equally outre and bizarre, while tbe voices, cries, 'disputes, con- tentions of a crowded population added to the confusion -of tbe scene. This was "Christian hut ft street that no Christian of any civilized state own. A fairer town without than Jerusalem I never- saw; a barer town within I hope never to see. Bunco's and Sixer's farms adjoined each otber. Bizer had an unruly sheep which wag in tbe habit of getting into Biinee'e field. Bunco expostulated with Sizer" several times, and then told him if, he did nqt keep his sheep at home, be would fix him so he wouldn't jump any more fences. But Bunco Boon found tbe sheep back again; so ho caught jim, and with a knife severed Urn cot- iclo or skin jndt beyond the gambrel oint, and between the main cord and rone, and thrust tbe other hind leg through tbe aperture, and then put tbe sheep back over the fence, which went off. hobbling on three logs, r Sizer soon after discovered the .sod >light bis sheep was int and he knew rery well who was the it, bat be concluded to take things coolly, and await aoine suitable opportunity to revenge himself. Presently, Bunco's old sow broke in- :o Sixer's field, when ho caught her, and with a sharp knife cut her mouth klrnost from ear to ear, and turned her rack, When Banco discovered this, he went to.Sizerinn great rage, and demand- ed of him what be did that for. Sizer said "Upon my word, neighbor Bunco, I did not do any such thing. Your old sow split her mouth laughing at my sheep Standard. __ Adam Slonaker, a number of years ago, came to Huntingdon France, ind seeing there, for tbe first time, a lair of snuffers, he asked: To snuff the candle." The candle just then needed ntten- .ioti, and Adam, with his thumb and ingor, pinched off the enntc, and care- folly poked it into a Well now them; ia ii urjdeniable, said Prentuxr, that in America it takes three to make a she, and a hired girl. Had Adam been A modem, then Would been a hired girl in Paradise to look after Abel, and- "raue Cain." 1ST A chap, oa being uked what he would do if, ho waa banished to the woods, said he thought ho should split While Americana engaged In ship building, in agrieflltnre, in every de- partment of industry; are always on the alert to adopt any improvement from .whatever source it may tbo Frenchman, tbe German, the Eng- lishman each deems his own nation so superior that it has nothing to learn from any other. This contrast be twofa Amending and bat been ex- emplified a hundred times. Some years ago the Messrs. Hovey, of Boston; embarked in an extensive series of to produce an improved strawberry it waa Mid that they fruited over of new seedlings, and out of those they selected two re- markably large and fine varieties. Has any one over heard of these being cultivated fa Europe f On the- other hand, our nurserymen are so eagerly on the watch for any new varieties of fruit that may be originated in, Europe, that 'when the "Victoria Currant" was first produced, IbeMewdre. Parsons, of Flushing, paid for the first bush which they could procure. How slow Were the English inadopt- ing from ibis eonntry the sharp bow for ships, and especially in dispensing with the heavy bowsprit on steamers 1 Like tbe Chinese, they !l6ok upon tbe Americana as outside and like tbe of they ask, Can any -go'od thing come out of 3faz- The comparative absence of this feeling was most strikingly shown by Air. Stevens when ho visited Eng- land with his fatuous yacht While tho America was lying at Liverpool with tbe challenge flying from her mast- head to sail Against all the English yachts far Mr. Stevens noticed a gaff on ooo of the English vessels which he thought was better than any other that be bad seen: Notwithstand- ing the extraordinary ctrenmstances of the case, and, though he knew the at- tention of all' England was upon bis movements, bo immediately went to one' of the ship yards and ordered a gaff like the on? he bad observed, and the America had that English gaff at tbo. top of her sail when she won tho great race. Tho greater readiness of tbe Americans to adopt improvements, from whatever source they may copje, is one considerable cadso of our moro rapid advance in the arts, and fn ma- terial Sdintifc Aiiierican. New Orleans Picayund truly says Experience has fully demonstrated that where a man, in a community has anything to sell, he must not keep dark about it lie must bold it np in contact with that universal and powerful- reflection and the pubic press; he must, paradoxically, light it np with ink printer's ink and he must do this not once, or twice', or three times, but pro- sistently, systematically. "There is as much skill and fact, and oftentimes as much boldness to be displayed in ad- vertising, as in conducting the THOSE expensive and difficult business opera- tion. To advertise properly costs mon- ey, but it in variably repays the invest- ment a hundred fold. You will 5nd many Sensible men who will calm? ly utter tbe paradox, that they have often advertised, but it has not benefit- tod them an iota. They expect the public to walk into their stores, and up their poor, little Advertise- ment, inserted once a month, in somo out of- the- WHT- comer of big1 'paper, have candles give me candies; yoa have fish give me bah books Egregious error I The object of advertising is to impress ibis Mr. fublte with an ineffaceable dea of your name and locality and special occupation so' that if he ever sees or hears the one, he will instinct- Vely, irresBtibly think of the "Yon must not play with that ittle girl, my said an injudicious parent. But ma, I like tier; sbo is a good ittle girl, and I am sure she dreoses as nrettily as ever I do, and she has lost of 'the prettiest toys." "I cannot help thai, my deary" re- sponded the foolish, and nnti- American >arent, her lather is a shoe-maker." But I don't play with her father, I play with her she ain't a shoe-maker." lazy fop, standing by his mother's work-bench, while tbe latter waa sharpening a chisel, said "John, why do you work for a living? A fel- ow with your talents should not. .de- grade himself by manual labor. I mean o get my living by my wita." Well Frank, you can with Idler tools than t can." An exchange paper says: "if would keep your children in healtn five them a plenty of fresh air." This j well enough but now-o-ilays, cbil- tren put on BO many tin of their own, bat it ia almost impossible, to give hem a fresh The following baring teen placed On the paper for discussion ly tho meraben of the Leicester Young Men's .Christian Association t tetotaliBtareston solid a wag inawered it by writing underneath; on a liquid I" 99" A London witness, boring be magistrate that he wan a. penman, was asked in what part of literature he wielded his pen, replied, that be pen- ned in Smitbfield Market A Lawyer engaged in a rmented a witness so much wiU lonnonwu WHUWB DV UUUVM questions, tbat tbe poor ftllow H cried for water. Jrtgeffltbougktyan'd pqmpbipidry. MT A gentleman tea hnraan combining a tcadenwu a man's courage. ;