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Ada Evening News Newspaper Archive: December 22, 1905 - Page 1

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Location: Ada, Oklahoma

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   Ada Evening News, The (Newspaper) - December 22, 1905, Ada, Oklahoma                                ADA EVENING NEWS. ADA, IND. TER. The roller-skating fad coming In Will U also bring back the bustle? Japan la enjoying the fact that "peace hath her victories" much more than Russia is. Up to date, the Audubon society hasn't taken any steps for the protec- tion of the turkey. HE WAS SURPRISED. HOW SPENCE HURT HIS UNCLE'S FEELINGS. King Edward's birthday cake, with the sixty-four blazing candles on It, must havo been a sight. Automobile riding, according to the doctors, is good for digestion. When taken, to be well shaken? Chicago is said to contain 18.000 deserted wives. Somebody will have to start another cooking-school. Norway may recall that the first king to reign over tho children of Israel also was chosen by the people. With call money at 20 on the New York stock exchange, dear old Uncle Russell Sage must be doing tolerably well. Even though Henry I.ubouchere ap- proves the corset, no one will accuse him of wearing one. Ho is anything but statu. China Is talking of having a consti- tution. It must have concluded that the ways of the foreign devils are not so ba.l, after all. Pobiedonostseff Is done for In Rus- sia. Ho goes down wit i the bureau- crats. The newspaper compositors will be glad he is gone. That Minnesota who hns had 4.000 bi's of rcn k taken out of his body must have us much fun as if he had played football. HE SHEEP herd- er from Palo Verde looked up with an exclamation of dis- gust from the newspaper he had been reading. "It beats all get-out what some of these day robbers In the legislature- will take from each he said "Here's Smith of Clay Creek as good HS called Pete Whiteny a liar an' a hoss thief three times hand iu one speech an' not a leaf stirrln'." "U ain't flghtin' talk ob- served the stock tender, raking tho matted hair from a brush with the curry comb. "It's like my cousin in Rapid I was tellin' you about once. Lawyers nn1 legislators has got a. li- cense, to express thelrselves an' git nway with language that would call fer gun play in a higher state of ser- ciety. "That cousin o' mine. I remember liow he got bis start In the law busi- ness. It was through an uncle o' mine an' his wife who took a fancy to Spence an' staked him to his ed- gercation. He didn't take no fancy to me or I might have been payin' out sluck jaw iu a Prince Albert coat my- stands that it's your dooty to do It. No- body won't think any-the worse of jou.' 'Oarrett. says Spence. 'Not If he's got a lick o' says my uncle. 'He'll shake hands after it's all over an' be jest as good a friend as ever.' "So Spence took the case agin Oar- rett an1 won It. My uncle was tickled to death, but Oarrett wa'nt. He up give Spence tho darndedest lickln' >ou ever seen au' smashed ha'f of the cfflco furniture. "Two days after that Spence went to my uncle an' told him the glad news that he'd got another caae. The Wlddor Grimsly had got him to do fend a suit my uncle had brought agin her "My uncle was wrathy that time an' it took Spence a long while to smooth him down. But Judge San a per had started the suit an' my un cle calculated he'd make short work o' Spence anyway an' it 'ud be a les son to him. It sure ought to have been, but Spence is worse now than he ever was." "Did he lose the nsktd the sheep herder. "No, he won said the stock tend- er. "Ho got a jury trial of It some- how an' had my uncle in the witness chair an' turned him inside out an' roasted him an" basted him. When he makes his talk to the jury he uhakes his linger at my uncle an' says, 'There sits the hoary he snys. The British Medl -a! Journal says men's necks are than they useil to be. Bit'ore the introduction of the peek-a-boo shirtw: 1st? It Is to be t! at the New York society l.ulies took thel faucywork along when they wo v invited out to meet Prince Henry of r.utenberg. Xew York s new national theater, di- by Herr Conned, will be a great institution. Pt some time some ot'uer dreams also m.iy come true. The Pawtucket girl who twisted neck out of joint in a nightmare probably dreamed that she was exam- ining the latest fashions during a srrtet promenade. Tee rst "holy war' Is about to be on Armenian Christians by Turi.s and Tartars The Moslem rreans to get for the crusades, if it takes all Slimmer. BurKink. who has been trying to grr.f; a scandal the army, should not be cenfininde.l with t ic California wizard nf the same name who does kinds o! grafting. It is asserted, on the other hand, that bU hrts for women are not go- ing out of The leport that thoy weie. doubtless, was started by some designing mnsiuline Eelf 'stid o' chair.bi rmaiden' in this >er bain "He ;tik Sjienco when he come out o' si hnol .in' put him in Judge S.ui- npif's luw office an' raid his board. He nllus gutin' inter some law In' tcrape or another himself, wuz my urcle, an' he c.ilculateil he'd play even by cittln' Spenco to ten to his diffcr- cultu s. I guess. 11. fin'ly Spence got admitted to th" bar an' my uncle l.e fixed him out with an office of his own over the store next the Fellows' lodge- ivom. Ho hiuln't been up there a week afoie Cal Teddiciini came to r IP an' w'i'ited him to sue Ci.irrott He-lib on a note hv'il got CJairett's. f i i iiin't want to take the c.ise 1 cause irrett w.is a good friend of 1 U an' he'd give tho note to pay fer a cow that died of the the day after hi 'd uo; her. Hut my uncle I .itted in. 'KiienrNhlp don't cut any 'There stts (lie heartless, conscience- Ut.5 would-be despoilor of the wldder an' the fatherless.' he says. 'See the llu-ii o' shame mantli'i' on his he says. 'An' well it, may mantle, 1 ardencd in the o' sin an' inliiui- iv as he is. Gentltmen, he didn't ncKon when he this poor de- fendant's home with a honeyed smile upon his perjured lips an' black de- ceit in his heart that the llenesa of this transaction would be dragged out to the light o' day an' held up to the scorn an' horror of the world. He calculated he had a weak, defense- less woman to deal with, an' his low cunning whispered that he could bluff her out of her house an' home an' grab the crust from outeii the months of her fatherless babes an' set 'em I'drift on the cold world. Gentlemen o' the jury.' he says, 'In all my expe- rience my feelin's never been s-hockod by such despicable conduek AFTER THE BATTLE OP SEDAN, How For Surrender of Napoleon Were Made. Count Hatzfeldt, who because of Bismarck's trust In him and his per- fect knowledge of French placed a prominent part in the surrender of Emperor Napoleon III. after the battle of Sedan, thus describes the arrange- ments for the surrender in a letter to his wife, which has recently been pub- lished.: "It was a solemn moment when Oen. Rellle, galloping up the side of the hill, drew up fifty paces from the king In orde- to dismount and then approached bare-headed to deliver the emperor's letter. The king asked him to wait, and withdrew to consult with Bismarck and Moltke. I took advantage of this moment to approach poor Reillo to express my sympathy with him. Bismarck then sent for me. Two chairs were placed ono on top of the other, and I wae given pen and paper. The king ana Bismarck dictated, and we drew up a draft of the answer. Afterward the king sat down on ono of the chairs; Alten held the other as a desk, anil I held the Ink bottle and dictated to the king the answer that Rellle took with him." BRONCO JACK'S PRIZE BEAUTY Splendid Animal, but a Little Particular as to Who Rode Him. STARTLED MANY GUILTY ONES Pastor's Warning Resulted In a Ratn of Umbrellas. Dr. T. L. Swift of Falmouth, Mass.. tolls tho following: A pastor In a Email New England town wns pre- feutcd with a fine umbrella by one of his parishioners. Soon afterwar he attended the weekly social hold In the church vestry. As It wns snowing slightly, he carried his umbrella, leav- ing It In the umbrella rack In the en- try, along with a numhbcr of others. After the social ho could not find a trace of his umbrella anywhere, and hiid to return home without It. The next Sunday he announced his loss from the pulpit, letting It be un- derstood that the culprit was known, urn! that "measures would be taken" If the umbrella was not left on his front porch before Monday morning. The next morning the pastor was thunderstruck to find seven umbrellas u posing on his front porch. Should any resident of Riverside drive arise sufficiently early to attend the "milkmen's matinee" he may see beautiful black horse with finely drawn lines and full red nostrils prancing up and down In front of a cart which was once white. This particular horse was, not many days ago, the property of a railroad manager we may call Wheels. Mr. Wheels is such a lover of good horses and of horseback riding that it af- fects his entire existence. During the latter part of the Summer the genial manager and other officials went to Dakota to look over the territory ahead of the new Pierre extension. As usual, Mr. Wheels had his eye open for a fancy sample of horseflesh, and Bronco Jack, of Deadwood, saw hlaa coming. One fine morning in Pierre, while the general manager was taking his morning run on the back of a livery stable horse, he saw something com- ing down the street that held his at- tention. It was as handsome .and spirited a horse as he had ever seen, Met Double Disaster. One nit-lit last week It wns raining and blowing htird. A man turned tlio Metropolo corner into Broadway. A er.f-t of wind took his hnt off. Ho inn after it and pinned It to the side- walk -Kith his umbrella, the fertile >f which punctured tlio crown. As u picked up the hat another gust of wind turned the umbrella Inside out. Te clutched to save some part of It n doinc: so the hat fell from his grasp hd the wind carried it upon a where a car wheel passed over It, the hat in two. In fifteen ho was without a hat or an imhrella. Hopeless situation at 9 o clock at night. The crowd thought great York Sun. Prancing up and down in front of a milk cart. and he was ridden by a genuine cow- hoy, who knew how to ride. An ex- clamation of delight escaped the gen- eral manager a; the Westerner and his mount swept past him in as fine a single-tooting exhibition as the rail- road man had ever t-een. Bronco Jack heard the general manager's ex clamation, but permitted his horse to go some distance before he gracefully turned him without checking speed, changed his gait, and swung back at full canter to the point where Mr. Wheels was standing. When the railroad man asked the cowboy what he would take and Bronco JaeK said, "A century and a Mr. Wheels closed with him for ern beauty permitted him to saddle and mount and then went through his pretty gaits without a slip. After sev- eral successful attempts John brought the horse to the stable and Informed Mr. Wheels that be had "tamed the- which was as gentle as a kit- ten. John was soon in the saddle. Some- how or other the galvanic battery got to work again and John found himself describing a parabolic curve through space. When he alighted there was. no friendly maple tree around and his collarbone met the curbstone. The curb didn't break. A family conference was held that evening, and it was decided that it would not be safe to give the black beauty to any one but a real cowboy. Acordlngly this advertisement ap- peared in a morning daily: "Wanted, to see a cowpuncher. Call at room 429, 00 Broadway." There was a response to the adver- tisement before the day was over, and after the presentation was made the general manager said: "You may or may not be a cow- puncher, but if you're not It looks to me like certain death for you to ride that horse I'm giving you." "Don't want to ride was the laconic reply. "He goes into the milk York Telegraph. in the law he IMICU low-down, lemorseless ily, Port Arthur fell, and England should not be too about tho Rock of Gibraltar. Nothing In this world Is invulnerable. Last week a Missouii mule was blown up by dyna- mite. "raUe the case an' push it.' "'Hut I'll to Kike Gnrrett over the coals if I do.' s Spence. 'Wh.r's the c'.ifft says rny uncle 'RaKe him. Olvo him blazes.' 'What 11 people think of me fer t'.o.n' back on a says Spence 'Tin won't think nothln' of inv uncle. body under- Reports from Santa Domingo say another revolution is browing there. This is the first have heard from Santo Domingo for several months. Somebody must have administered an anesthetic. .is by that flinty-hearted. u.', KT.ispIn' ol' curmudgeon settin' there afore "You don't mean to say the old iran got hot about a little thing like said the herder. "fie Mire replied the stock tffjuier. "an' thiit's what F-ponee." Our friends the Koreans will now please prepare to remove their tall hats. There will he a Jap of one kind or another passing along the pic- turesque highways almost every min- ute of the day. Navy officers In Washington uphold the custom of permitting miduliipmen In the Naval Academy to settlo dis- putes with fist fights. They evidently believe that a fighter gets practice every time he fights. Admiral Nebogatoff has returned to Russia and explains that he surren- dered to the Japs In order to his sailors from getting hurt. It would be BO more chan right for the sailors to adopt a of thanks. The story that the statue of William Penn on top of Philadelphia city hall's tall towelr was seen doing n song-and- dance act after the football game, in Pennsylvania defeated Harvard, la undoubtedly a pure invention. The New York hank clerk who forg- ed a check and got on It "Just for a Joke" has been sentenced to tl-e Elmira reformatory. Ho Is probably beginning by this time to have a faint suspicion that the joke was on him. One Best Place for a Shirtwaist. hiit waist is all right in its place. useless to s'tate who! e its place is. irood plrtce is Ih jour arms You M'oul I never forget that one shirt- ...il't in your arms is worth a dozen hani'ing on a clothesline. In fact, a hut waist floating around In a wash- nib K a s-'ad and solemn sight. It is d to remind you of the dear one ft ne before or behind. Tho bus- tlf and hoop skirt live only in memory old barrels, nnd when I gaze upon the limp form of a 50-cent shirtwaist in soap suds It makes me feel that the time will soon conic when It, too, will he gathered to its fathers and r.s. Yes, my friends, the r.hirt- 'A''-.! is nil right on a woman, but 1 rail on all healthy, able-bodied men to use up in their might nnd holp mo it off the men. It is hateful enough to hee women wearing men's violins, but when it conies to men tug women's garments, then I 'vi MI crawl off into some thick piitch or wno'ls and die. Rural Re- .it, Va., Times. A man who loads germane has boon elected mayor of Providence, n. I.; a professional violinist has succeeded himself as mayor of San Francisco, ana ft novelist was chosen mayor of Toledo. Art and politics may yot go band lit hand. He Deserved Spanking. John P. Newman, Bishop New- tunti's widow, who proposes to found :i 1 i'ulorrnrten in Jerusalem, has a i -eat affection for children and a great t'Jte of children's anecdotes. Ancnt an embarrassing situation she fvld ono day: reminds me of a dinner that M Ti aver woman gave during a Meth- convention in her city. "Tho dinner was sumptuous. The 1 ading lights of tho church and of the atat there. A presiding elder, in 'JiKtrg a (irink of water, broke a glass. "Tho hostess began to assure the Tldv-r that the accident was of no con- senueur-e, but her well-modlfled voice wan easily ovorpowerpd by the loud shout of her little son: "'Oh, he cried, 'its one of the borrowed ones. Isn't A Bad Blunder. Every barrister is well awnro that tact in the management of the judgi Is a great thing. One day a certain troasuiy counsel wns driving over a well-known bridge on his way to the Quarter Sessions. Notu.ing the chairman of tho ses- sions along in the mud and rain, the barrister instantly stopped the hansom and offered him n lift The offer at once accepted and tho pair proceeded to their destination in great nniity. As BOOH as they arrived tho loomed counsel hurried into the courthouse, as he had an important application to make immediately the chairman had taken his scat. But to his intense surprise ant! churgin the application was curtly refused. The barrister wad completely non- plused nt tho sudden change In the demeanor of tho chairman, until tho usher, In a husky whisper, supplied tho explanation by asking: "Do you know what you've demo, "I haven't tho slightest idea. What- ever can it was the reply. "Why, sir, yon ran in and loft tho chairman to pay for your Bits. Distant Relative. Henry's father was n lieutenant in tho navy and frequently absent on cruises of a year or more, therefore tho boy had not tho privilege of a very extended acquaintance with his parent. Whon the selection of a school for Henry was being made, It waa suggested that It might be well to learn his father's preferences. "Aw, what do we want to ask him inquired Henry. "Why, my son, he Is your said his mother reprovingly. "He's only my father by replied Henry In Magazine i "Lucky With Women." In some parts of Ireland it is the iistom of tho furmers to deposit noney in the bank in the joint names t' husband and wife, so that when ne dies the survivor can draw out he money without any legal les. To a farmer who made applton- lon for money deposited for himself l wife, the manager of the bank psKeil: "Why, Pat, how can this be? is not much more than n year since came with an application on the of your "Well, ynm I waa the reply, "I'm a bit lucky wid wlmmen." Eating From Habit. A prolific cause of chronic indiges- tion is eating from habit, and simply because it is meal-time and others, are eating. To eat when not hungry is to eat without relish, and food taken without relish is worse thaa wasted. Without relish the salivary glands do not act, the gastric fluids ure not freely secreted, and Vhe best of foods will not be digested. Mi'ny perfectly harmless dishes arc severely condemned for no other reason tht.n that they were eaten perfur.ctori y and without rclifch and due inbali- Hunger makes the plainest foods It causes vigorous scciotion nnd outpouring of all the (iigobtno sources of ptya- lin, pepsin, trypsin, etc., without a plentiful supply of which no food can be perfectly digested. Wait for nn appetite if it takes a week. Fasting is one of the saving graces. It has a spiritual significance only through its great physical and physiological im- portance. If breakfast is a bore or lunch a matter or indifference, cr.t Unconscious Patriotism. What looKcd like n patriotic display was observed in a smart haberdasher's window the other day. Tho enterpris- ing artist who arranges the windows had put in an array of blue shirts, the very latest and smartest as to color nnd cut. On these very important ar tides of men's apparel he had ar- ranged red lies, likewise the latest in masculine fashion. Of course the ex- pansive white collars that topped the shirts lent the third and final note to the Fourth of July effect, as striking as it. was York Press. A select coterie of prominent citizens wferit over to the Wheels stable to took him over. What Jim Spaulding Thought. In tho town of Suncock, N. H.. there lived a farmer, Jim Spaulding by name, who was noted for his wit. One day, while discussing with a neighbor the keen scent of dogs, tho neighbor said: "I have a dog thai found mo out by my smell the other day after I had gone about seven miles from home. Now what do you think of "Well." said Jim, "I think you need a bath very much." Paradise for Anglers. Tho spot In the world which offers fishing of tho greatest variety is Fro- mantle, Western Australia. A maa fishing from a boat In that harbor may ealch two varieties of fish within an hour. He may successively draw up a snapper, a mackerel, a porch, an col, a bos flsh, with grunts; a hatchet flsh, a skate, and many other varieties. He Was Joe Jameson "Slowed Up." Many years ago, In the city of Nashua, Mass., lived n noted mer- chant by the name of Hugh Jameson. Ono Fourth of July his small boy and )ther boys were playing with powder, ind In firing It off it burned the Jame- son boy's face. As he cried he got ils face well blacked up. He ran nto his father's store, but the latter did not know him and called: "Whose >oy are "Why, don't you know me, the son said; "I am Joe Jameson blowed up." fear he would back out. lie did not even wait to try the hors-e, so anxious was he to annex him to his stable. The Western wonder arrixed "dead- head" from Pierre in good condition. At the club, at home, in st a son and out, Mr. Wheels sang the praises of his new possession. As soon as the horse was in the stable a select coterie of prominent citizens went over to the Wheels stable to look him In due time a morning riding party was arranged. When his guests were mounted Mr. Wheels started to swing into the saddle. Ho missed by about n foot, however, as something had swung before he did, and there stood tho new horse facing him, with head down nnd meek and lowly look in his For the first time, Mr. Wheels had a foreboding. He made tip bis mind, however, to make a sure thing of it at the next attempt, and, to his sur- prise, the black beauty stood perfect- ly quiet and permitted him to vault into the saddle. MaflyWhcels cheerfully clucked to his mount and gently tightened the reins. There wns nothing doing. The persuasion was repeated. Same re- sult. Just as ho began to wonder vaguely what Bronco Jack was doing with that there was a sudden change in the attitude of tho West- ern wonder. His muscles became rigid and his legs stuck out like the four posts of a sawhorse, his head went to the ground nnd his body bounded abruptly into the air with the force of a battering ram. Totally unpre- pared few such a denouement, Mr. Wheels shot into tho air, and when he came down ho found himself in the top of a young maple tree, from which ho was disentangled with some difficulty. When he reached the ground there stood his black beauty not far away with dejected mien and sad eyes gaxlng Into his. "You miserable shouted the exasperated owner. "I'll teach you who your master Is. John, bring me my .44 Colt's.. I'm going to win this battle right here." Instead of doing as he was told, John took the horse away, and the next day led him out to pasture. He had strict orders from Mr. Wheels not to try to ride him, but John dis- obeyed. Several times the stableman noe or both of them out. Wait for distinct and unmistakable hunger, and then eat slowly. If you do this, you ask few questions as to the pro- priety and digestibility of What you eat, and it need not be predigested! The Hygienic Gazette. A Regular Customer. Uncle Erastus, the village plasterer and whitewasher, who had married and buried four wives, was about to acquire a fifth. He went to the hOMse of the Presbyterian minister, a vener- able msn who had officiated at sever- al of his previous weddings, to make arrangements to be married there the following evening. "Of course I shall be glad to marry you to your new wife. Uncle said the minister. "This will be the His head went to the ground and hie body bounded abruptly into the air. sneaked out to the lot and the West- pan Ion. third or fourth time for me, wdh't It? How does it happen, uncle, that you never have a colored preacher tie the knot for "Well, he answered, "I'se kind o' got in de habit o' gittin' a white man to do my I reckon I'll allus do It. I'se turrible sot in my ways, Mistah Com- NEWSPAPER! __ V-..A rf SlEWSPAPFld   

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