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Albert Lea Freeborn County Standard (Newspaper) - April 19, 1877, Albert Lea, Minnesota nlEBQBN flOUXTY STANDARD, KVBBV s; Year, In -Vilv .nee, 00 KATBS OP iv -1 4 w inch inch inah col ool 1.00, 1.50 2 4.50 S.'iO; H 00 4.00 4.5') 8.50 'J'y 10.00 .18.50 00! Hi (10120 00 .3 .-fll (10 ia.00r25.0l) 5 251 7.0011 22.00j.10.00 ___ 8.0 )'12.00 2'2 1S.09 50 00 OFFICERS Of KKKKBOKY fDl'XTT Tlinrosou. W. W. J. M. N. G07.1 cc. Olc Hanson. Kittclson. r.iitcln'1'lcr RF.QISTEIX OF Vctorson. COUNTY A. Lovely. J. Shochftn. Dui't'TT RHniiiFF CLEHK OF Ctirur W. White. raoiiVTK rtnlbrnnclson. SCHOOL Tluiriton. COUNTY SuuNr.voii (1. Kollixr. Fmshniig. COURT C'oMMisissosKR R. B- Sjiicpr. VOLUME 17. ALBERT LEA, MINNESOTA, THURSDAY, APRIL 19, 1877. NUMBER 16 8. S. EDWARDS Broadway, opposite Foiitoffice, AL15ERT LEA MINN. MSftttkcrs. H. IX BROWS. D. E. TIIDBS. UK. A. II. RTUKET, CO 9FFICE, OVKR Till', DUtT. STORE, South pf Vest Office, .Mbovt Lea. Minnesota. W. GRAND ALL, 1ST T1 X Office over Wodse Wnlfsherg's stove, Albei t l.ca. Physicians. 3E, M. H, D. BROWN CO.' BANK OP ALBERT LEA, ALP.KRTI.nA, MINNESOTA A GENERAL- BANKING BUSINESS TRANSACTED. H. D. BROWN CO. BANKERS. REFERENCES; Iht Nut. Bank. Austin. li-t Xat. Hank, at. Paul. ad >ut Bntik. UU.ongo. 4th Nat. IJank, Xrw York. 3 I PHYSICIAN IS il -nee up ovrv the ALRRRT MINN. Oftce aud Office. O _ ECLECTIC PHYSICIAN ANO SURGEON BAXK, Will trcnl iliM'ftte.-i to v.-hiidi mankind U S'-ibject, lo thf best nt hi-; ability. Dr. Rowland has nuido a spoci.ilty of itNpn-u-sof Women and fhildri-n, an 1 t-hrnnio .liie TlioM. II. AIOtSTKONli, Bankt-r. ALBERT LEA......MINN. V, I TDMHICh II tTfc iiU.tl.lILU 11AI8 FOR Vomtn nml I'liiinri'ii, mi i ____ T A T% f long stfti.din-. My Ion-; f 1 k1 S I I I A K .trict sitteiilioii lo UN iimfcision. lu-ir. con- j'J I J I J I ij n Ktrict attenlion lo lii-i j fident of trtuliiHf al' o'ir.-itile uilh u'l-itoii ic-'.l i-i-.- admini'tercd. Taxes jn'nl, Titios investigated, Lands bought and 1. Pavticulav attention paiJ to collection. Corner Clark and Newton Albert Len BL ACKMEE JO, A. t Li'.A, MINN. JOHN ANDERSON, V- JL.-VAV AM> Offieo over Wedge Drug Stor ALIJKKT MINN. Hotels. HALL HOUSE F. HALL, Proprietor. Albert Lsa, Minn JERLOW NAHVESON, Albert Lea, Minnesota. n E A t K it s i x DRy GOODS, HATE CAPS, CROCKERY GLASS-WARE. STONE WOODENWARE, GROCERIES, SPICKS, SARDINES, CONFECTIONERY, T olo SL o o o And in fact cverylhinjt umially kept in a country stove. We keeji'cnnnlantly on liand a first class variety of vollOn 17 lit f JOHN M. MARTY, fl'BYEYOR AXD CIVIL EXGIXEER, AL13ERT LEA, MINN. Leave orders with Stacy T.rrcr. SEED WHEAT. 1 have a limited quantity of fine seed frou' new and variety of Ranch Wheat, put. up in li Ib. Backs which will be sent piepaid on icccipt The whoat id superior to (ho f.tt'urite Clawuon variety, has n ptronp; straw, and Stands up well when growing. This seed ig the product of experiments lust year. from which the yield was at the rnto of 87 bushels of wlicat lo one bushel of cued. H. P. SMITH, 7m3 731 i'-Jtli S! AT MRS. JOHN STAGE'S SIILLINEBY STORE ALBERT LEA, MiNN. IIKIHHST TRICK P UD FOR Cicnls1 Chains from nift'lu to onlcr. Ij'i'lies' un-1 all other work in t hn t lino. MILLINEBY SPRING OPENING! SATURDAY, APRIL 21, 1877. MRS, C, S. WARREN returned from Chicago with a large Stock of MILLINERY, NOTIONS, and FANCY GOODS of all kinds, will have them on DISPLAY at the above date, and invites all to CALL AND EXAMINE HER. STOCK. MRS. F. M. PQULSON Will open on the 20TII OF APRIL, a new, fall, and carefully selected stock of MILLINERY for the Spring Trade. On Broadway, one door south of The People's Store.'1 DRESS MAKING will be carried on in connection with the business. CUTTING and FITTING by tho im- piovccl tailor system. BRAID and EMBROIDERY STAMPING done to order' APPRENTICE GIP.LS WANTED. OUR WORK WILL BE OUR RECOM- MEND, CALL AND SEE US. lutf NEW GOODS! A stock of GOODS just received at Millinery Store Tliey will he sold at FIGURES than at any other place in town. 15tf TERECIA ANDERSON, FASHIUABLE GLOAKsDBESS-lAKEB Over Spiccfs Drug Store, AT.BBKT LEA, Minn. HJVANKS needed For town officers use. in carrying nut the new grassbap- ticr law, for r ile at this office. REAL ESTATE AGENCY. WE IiftTB for sale, lftndsand farms in every (own in this county. TERMS to sail everybody. LOW prices, long Lime, onJ a low rate of interest. IP you to buy n farm, call on us. IF you have a farm or lands to sell, call ou us. OUR facililius for buying find selling lands, examining and perfecting lilies, arc nequalcd, us we have ABSTRACTS, TRASUFKR8, and PLATS of every piece of land in this counly. Stacy fl' Tyrcr, Albert Lea, Minn. April 25, 1870. Boots nntl Shoes. TUTON Have just opened a new Boot Shoe Shop. WILL CONSTANTLY KEEP ON HAND A FULL LINK. OF O la. J3 1; o XXL Goods, all of which will be sold cheap. LADIES' AND GENTS' FINE GOODS A SPECIALTY. GOOD FITS GUAR- ANTED, AND ALL WORK Repairing done on -diorl notice, and everything according to contrnct. GIVE THEM A CALL. Broadway, one door north of the Webber 7lf llon.ee, Albert Lea Minn, Boot Shoe Store. O. 2V. Have just received and will keep in slock the largest assortment of Boots Shoes of all kinds To be found in town. COT! MADE Four or five workmen will be constantly employed. and orders fur New Goods .ir for Repairs will be filled, cbrap and on the shortest notice Broadway west side. Albert Minn. 8tf GIVE THEM A CALL. and Repairer of Boots Shoes. Shop on Clark street, north and oppo- site of Wedge Spicer'p Drug Htorc. FIRST-CLASS WORKMEN arc employed. Repairing done to order, cheap and on short notice. liini a 37tf Albert Lc.i, Markets. HAS RKMOA'ED THE OLD PIONEER MEAT-MARKET: On Rast side Broadway, first door pouth of THE PEOPLE'S STOHE. WITH INCREASED FACILITIES FOIi DOING BUSINESS, HE PRO- POSES TO GIVE BETTER SATISFACTION THAN EVER BEFORE. paid for Tliclcg, Tnllow, DE3CX3MCS MEAT MARKET WILLIAM TUNELL Again calls attention to liis FINE MEAT MAEKET, Whore onn be found at all times, choice cuts of Beef, fork, Mutton, Sausage, fyc. Also FISH, POULTRY, and WILD GAME in their season. BROADWAY, near Armstrong's Bank- ALBERT LEA, MINN. S. M K. R. LANDS. -These valuable lands which remain un- sold, in Kracborn County, are still offered at low prices, and on enay terms. Wow is the Time to secure Them. Inquire of the undersigned, to who r.lao all moneys due the Trustees on Lan Mortgages should be paid. No extensions of payments where taxes are nut paid. M. CONANT, Agt.. of Trustees, Laerossc.Wis. GASH FOR STOCK-CATTLE. The Farmers of Frcpborn county, who have stock-steers, or any kind of cutllo to ell, will find a purchaser by calling at l-he "eatmarlict of WM, TUNI'LL. 61? .Vlberl Miua. HIUAM JENKINS' MISTAKE. Iliratn Jenkins drove slowly up the hill road that led to tlie farm house of Doacon Hates. It was plain even to the casual observer that tho errand he was bound upon was of no eouunon im- portance. No man would have arrayed himself so gorgeously, simply for the purchase of a tub of fall butter or n yoke uf steers. His hair was in a state of distressing smoothness, and geouied al- most a part of the glossy hat which covered it. ilia coat and pantaloons were marvels in their way, and his boots. Vfiiicii had been elaborately blacked, reflected back the rays of the setting sun in a manner perfectly blinding lo the beholder. And yet, superiorities in all these respects to the iillies of the fiold, there was apparent in his actions a sin- gular sort of nervousness a trepidation almost, which rendered his appearance nt ence ridiculous and awkward. This trepidation was in no wise lessened by the sudden vision of a red-headed urchin watching him from the barn door, and who, ns the team approached, with an cvur-wiJening in sped oft' in the direction of the farm house, and disappeared through the kitchen door. Hiiam was conpcious a minute nfier- wards of bcinjj; the target of half a dozen pairs of eyes from the sitting roum windows, and it required extraor- dinary strength of mind on his part to drive past the house fo the where the horses of all the visitors were hitcfud. There are lew more aivkivard things to do than to out and in a carriage when women are watching, and although Hiram hud probaMy never thought of the fact before, he ex- perienced its truths, as endeavoring to spring genteelly from (liu hupgy, his slipped on the wheel, and ho came down on his and knees in tho dirt. His remarks he scrambled to liis feet were conflnrd to one word, but that, though short, was the most cx- prnsbive one of the Knglish language. I'll have to go round to the barn pump and wash my hnnd-i before I can IIP said to himself sup- pose they are having their um nut of me in tho hmise now Confound it! I wish 1 hadn't, narted As ho the door of the hnrpe- barn, which was partly open, r-e heard the sound of voices ile listened, and his heart nuik as he the tones of his rival, Klnathan liogers. I want he was savins She just suit? me You can't always have her, you know, and you'd better call the thins fiettJed." I don't know about answered the deacon doubtfully. I've ahvavs said come wouid, I wouldn't part with Jenny. you hang on so, I don't it's a L.'.rfjaid, deacon. I've thouL'ht it over a good while, and Jen- ny f must hava I'll treat her wcJI, you mnj' be sure of that The deacon hesitated, blew his nose, and finally said She's got some little (ricks that no- body knows anything about but me, and I don't want to impose upon a neighbor." Oh, pshaw that's only an excuse, deacon. I'm willing to risk it.." She kicked me in the stomach last winter, and bit little Sammy not morc'n six weeks ago. I can show you the scar now." "Great thought Hiram, 11 and here I was going to pop the ques- tion this very niuht. Whoever would have thnnirht it I'll take that out of El- nn'.han, continuing the conversation. If she so much as lifts her foot against me, I'll give her a lickin' that'll last r. month." "Lick! ejaculated Iliram to him- self, astonished beyond measure. Jenny Bales Well, rhat-goes ahead of anything I evor heard of. And the old man doesn't say a word What next A pause ensued, which was at last broken by (he deacon il Well, if you must hare her, you must, I expect tho old lady'll want something to say about it, though. She thinks as much of Jenny ns I do. Won't you come into the house Not now I've got to tro down to thn village before dark. I'll be round some time to-morrow." Hiram Jenkins waited until he saw his successful rival climb the fence be- tween the two farms. Then he delib- erately unhitched his wagon and drove off, never casting a look toward the window where the fair Jenny sat in watchful expectation. Not until ho reached his own door did he draw a long breath. It seems ju.st like a he to himself, as he slowly unbuckled the harness. To think of Jenny Bates kicking her own father and biting her own little brother, and she loukinsr as though butter wouldn't melt in her mouth I It is just as mean, though, in the deacon to lick as 'tis, for her to kick. The old hypocrite! Well, I must say I'm mighty deceived in them IJateses. I s'pose Elnathan Rogers feels cranky enough now he's got her I just hope she'll kick his head off Lucky for me I overheard what I did." Notwithstanding this self-gratulation Hiram felt all the pangs of disappoint- ment and jealousy. He had not only lost his but he had been cut out in the most mortifying manner by a man he held in thorough contempt. He felt that even with what ho rjow knew of Jenny's faults, if he could pain her hand he would carry her off in spite of his rival, or the deacon either. A iveek and Jenny was never out of Hir.am's thoughts. One day he -went to the village, while there, standing in front of the post- office, Klnathan drove by with the dea- con's mare. I s'pose now he's got Jenny, he thinks got a right to the. whole muttered Hiram. I wish to gracious the mnro would put her feet through the dash hoard That the singing school met at tho Academy. Hirum came Jate. lie used to pit wifh the tenors just behind Jenny Bates Now he chose a differ- ent scat, and tiicj hard to sing bass. lie could not however help seeing El- nut han Itogtrs pass peppermint lozenges to Jenny, and also write something on the blank leaf of her singing book, which she read and aniwerud. Of course he'll go home with her thought Iliram. It'll bo the first time I've missed it for a year. He's welcome, though." he -kept his seat, and pretended to be looking for some tune in his singing book that re- fused to be found. Jenny did not look at him. Tho doxology closed tho school at last, and there wus a grand bustling about the door, and an eager pushiug among the young men to make sure of their favorites Hiram was trying to make his way through the crowd, when he found himself at the elbow of Jenny Bates, and' at the same moment the hateful voice of Elnalhan Rogers was heard in the words Sh'ill'I S'je you home Bates No, was the prompt answer. 11 I shall walk home alone." Hirarn was totally unprepared for this, 'Perhaps it's one of her ho said'to himself. The deacon said she hud 'cm thpt.nobiody knew but him- self. I'm glad tttiltened him, though." The word mitten reminded him that he had left both his on the seat in the school room, and he stepped back Ji'st aa the candles were being put out. Here's Jenny Bates' hinging he heard one boy say to another. "She went off in such a hurry to-night thut she forgot it." Givo it to said Iliram, who remembered what had taken place that evening, and with eager look sought out the written mr'ssages that had passed between Jeuny and his rival They were as follows Tell your falhnr he cheated me when 1 bought old Jenny. I thought by her unme she must be good for something, but Mir kicks and bites ten times worse than he ever told me. I wish now I had spoken for the Jenny in the instead of the one in the barn." And the answer T guess the horse is as good as you deserve. As for the choosing; between the two you mention, you won't he able to do (lint this yeur You linvegot the only Jenny you can ever get from my father." A liLrht broke in upon Iliram Well, of all the infernal fuols I ever heard of, I am the bigge.'t A doe would have had more It's not too late now. thank heaven." The departing crowd stared ns Iliram with the finging b'luk in his h-ind. ruMie'J down the stairs, two at a time, and up the road which led to Deacon Bates'. If he was not too late he was nearly so. for Jenny was just opening the irate of the front yard Stop. Jenny I he exclaimed, print- ing for breath. Here's sinpinu book. You left it on the seat. I tried to overtake you." You needn't have taken the trnn- ble, Mr. Jenkins; 1 pucss no one would have stolen said Jenny, with a grcut disp'ay of dignity, and making a of going into the house. Don't Jenny just a minute. I know I've ncted like a fool; but. just let me explain." Jenny hesitated a moment, made another stnrt toward the door, then turned and went back to the gato where the discomfited Iliram stood waiting. blie siu'd in us freezing a tone ns she could couimadd. Now don't look and talk that way. Jenny Bates. You know I never would have acted as I have if I hadn't thought I had good reason for it. I thought you were going to marry Elna- than Rogers What business had you to think any such thing 1 asked Jenny, firing up. A pretty explanation that is and again she turned away from the gate. Stop Let me tell ynu Can't vou listen a minute said Iliram in des- peration He felt there was no other way than to make a clean breast of it, and plungud into his work at once. Word for word he related the conver- sation he had heard in the horse barn, and the effect it had upon him. He was deeply in earnest, and in closing hum- bly appealed "or forgiveness. He saw her tremble and put her hands to her face. Poor girl, she pitied him His heart rose, and his hand was upon the gate to open it, when a peal of laugh- ter, louder and longer from being so long pent up, rang out upon the night air, almost startling Hiram out of his boots and waking the deacon and his wife from a sound sleep in the upper front bedroom Up want the window, and a night- capped head was thrust out, with a de- mand as to what was the matter. Still Jenny laughed, wliile Hiram sfood si- lent by the angry and ashamed, not knowing whether to advance or go back. At last Jenny found her voice Go home, Iliram she said say your p'ayers and go to sleep, and if you want to say anything more ta me, come up to-morrow evening after supper. But mind, don't go listening nt any hcrse barns on your way home and she went off in anoth- er peal of laughter. Hiram did not-wait to say good night. Whether he slept or prayers that night is not-recorded, but it is an established fact that eight o'clock the next evening found -him Bates' parlor. The interview wns a long and probably, an interesting one. and its immediate result wns that Be- fore Thanksgiving the deaeon had n_e5-' ther a'Jenny iij.llie house nor in the barn. That wn? sorneye.'irs airo, and Hiram has since the town some service as selectman, arid is likewise a Justice of the Peace. But in Ihe midst of all his dignities and honoro, if he ever hap- to insist upon having his own way, the threat of telling about the horse barn brings to terms at once. It is the-one ciieok ta his the magic charm by virtue of which Mrs. Iliram wiclda the house- hold sceptre. FOUR SEVENTY-FOUR. Lowly, bcsiJe the old nrm-ebair, Childhood and old nge bowing tliorc With folded hands, at evening prayer. Four and Seventy-four. Soft flajen curls, and locks of gr-ty, Mingling together UB they Give us our daily brood (his Four nnd Seventy-four. Four a rose-bud, fair and sweet, White dimpled liamJB together meet, Clasped rev'rently nt feet. Our rose-bud, Four. No threads of gray in (lie flaxen hair No shades of lines of caro, Hut, budding beauty everyivliere- Our precious Four. Rut seventy-four's a withered rose, Lit'e'H morn and noun-tidu n, its close, Waiting the blest Weary Seventy-four. The once fair face is lined with care; Sorrow'B wand liath touched it, and there, fjuiir And left white threads in the nut-b'rown Of irorn-out Seventy-four' It raaltercth not whether young or old, The good Shepard lovingly fn ni the cold, Uathereth the strny lambs of his fold, r'our and Seventy-four. United lei (Ucni bow al even Hid clouds from Ilinir hearts be driven, And bleisinge from God's throne inlfeavcn, On Four and Seventy-four. Little Things. A serpent's tang its a little thing, but death is its victory. A baby is a wee little thing, but a constable was once a baby. A lap dog is a little thing, but he is a very billy thing bebides A cross word is a little thing, but it is whuc stired up the elephant. The tongue is a little thing, but it fills the universe with trouble. A star is a liitle thing, but it can hold this great world in its arms. An eL'g is a little thing, but thehuge crocodile creeps into life out of ic. A hornet's siing is a little tiling, but it setids the schoolboy home howling. An orange peel on the sidewulk is a little thing, but it has upset many a A is a very little thing, but it betrayed the Son of God in the hands of his enemy. A word is a little thine, but one word has been many uutn's destiny, fur good or for evil. A spark is a little thing, but it can light the poor man's pipe, or eel the world to burning. The acorn is a little thing, but the black bear and his family live jn the uak that springs from it. A minute is a little thing, but it is long enough to pull a dozen aching teeth, or to "get mairied and have your own mother-in-law. Life is made up of little things. Life itself is but a litilo thing one breath loss then comes the funeral. Slung in The Domestic Circle. Say, said an up town boy one day, as lie came home late from being kept in at school, threw down his books pinched the cat till he made her howl, and then sidled info his scat at the dinner table, ''wasn't Hcncdect Arnold U reg'Jar A what, my son said the pater- nal relative; laying down his knife and fork with surprise. "Why, a crooked hair pin, you know; a shark, a sort of fraud generally He was a traitor to his son; but whereon earth did you learn such language 1" ''Oh pull down your vest, now, fa- ther, and don't get on yonr about it. I'll take some of that roast beef please." Why, liin mother. I'm surprised at "Oh. I'm solid, 1 broke in the youngster. "Nothing mean about me. I'ony up that boef, now, old man, or there'll be a tin roof or two around this houae." The "old man" didn't slop to reply. He came down on the youngster like an Alpine glacier, and in another min- ute that irreverent boy was dancing a pas sfid around the apartment, with his hands clasping the basement of his pantaloons in a vice-like grip, arid his infantile throat emitting more yells to the minute than there are empty bot- tlea in the rear of the Louisiana state house. TIME WEI.L SPENT is a grave error and an ungrateful deed lo swal- low well cooked, palatable food at such a pace as to prevent your getting the full amount of pleasure out of the act j of eating, and which renders you in-j different; to your cook's skill. There ;ire some supremely virtuous beings who ci'ud'imn epicurism as something I horrible, and a-- likely to lend to mur- der, J'fi'ty larceny :md other crimes; but. good souls they often confound re- fineim-nt and discrimination in feeding j with giuttofiv, in their desire to j avoid this, aad Fct a high example ofj indifference to tiin adopt a s-eorn- I ful regard to what and how they cat and drink, au-i pretending lobe above Piif'i mundane considerations, brinir j themselves into a chromic H ill- j health, wbxeh it lakes years- nf strict regimen to recover fmm. you must linger over the taste of your fond as you linger over the smell of a flower Nature demands of you this concession to health, and there can he riotliing more sinful in indulging the sense of the r-ende of smell. Tlic First Dollar. Many years ago a gentleman from the town of Methuen, Mass., while on a visit to a prominent merchant in I3ov ton. was asked by the merchant if he knew a boy in Methuea whom he could recommend to work in his store. At first the gentleman could think of none, for he knew none bat a faithful, honest boy would suit the thrifty merchant At length, however, he called to mind a boy of excellent character in his neigh- borhood, but feared he would hardly do, as his parsnts were very poor, and he had no education or other advan- tages to fit him for such a position. But the description of the boy's hab- its pleased the merchant so much that he handed the gentleman SI with which to pay the boy's fare to Boston by the stage, and requested him to send the lad to the city, and if on a personal in- terview all should not prove satisfacto- ry, he pay his fare back home again. The man as requested, visited the boy's parents, and, stating the mer- chant's proposal, advised them to send the boy for trial. He then gave him the 81 with which to pay his fare to Boston and departed. Under similar cases ninety-nine out of every hundred would have said Now for a good time I never saw a city and never rode in a stage. Oh, there will be such a long ride, and here is money sent to pay my fare." Not so with this boy. Putting the money carefully in his pocket he said to him- self: This is tho first dollar I ever had how I wish I could save it. It is only twenty-five miles to Boston I can walk there in a day I'll do it and save my dollar." His mother patched up his clothes as well as she could, and early next morn- lug the little fellow parted with his pa- rents at the door of the humble home and set out on his long tramp to the irreat city, which ho reached, tired and dusty, a little before sunset. He soon found the uicrchrut, who sternly agked "Where have you been all day? The stage came in hours ago." The boy thought he had displeased the merchant at the outset, and with downeaat head and tremulous voice he answered I did not come on the stage, sir Did not come on the stage 1 What do you mean? Didn't 1 send tho money to pay your fare F Th? boy thought it was all up with him sure, and, amid gathering tears, he managed to reply I ntnVory sorry, sir; I did not mean to nffeid you I thought I would walk and save the dollar. I never had one before." Placing his hand geotly on the boy's hoad, tho merchant replied My lit- tle man did exactly right." Then turn- ing lo a bystander he remarked I wouldn't take for this boy to- night." That boy has grown to has since become widely known in busi- ness circles. lie is now" owner of the extensive mill at Methuen, the Pember- ton mills at Lawrence, a banking house nno of iu AND a di'-h put four or five spoonfuls of milk thickened with flour break into it six or cighc eirgs without breaking the yolk? sprinkle over the whole some grated cheese and a little pepper and fait; bake in an oven without allowing the yolks to harden. Serve very hot Woman's fondness for finery is of no recent date. In fact KveV very exist- ence wa? centered in t, ribbnne. Somebody asserts that a blue glass chimney on a parlor lamp will bring a young man up to the point of propos- ing to a crass-eyed maiden, with store- teeth, in three Sunday evenings." In a Beruion recently, Mr. Moody said: "If you can't be a lighthouse, be a candle." We have heard of young ladies who would prefer to be half of a match. A Catskill woman recently knocked down seven nibbftrs, one after anoter. Her husband watched her from the top of the stairs, and felti-o brimful of fight that he couldn't cool off until he jerked his eight-year-old son out of bed and whaled him soundly for not getting up and helping his mother. Good Deacon B------having, as some of his friends thought, fUown too little interest in the public affairs of the day. was charged by a brother with being the tenet'." ''Yes, I am on the was the reply, "and there I pro pose to remain as long as it's so con- founded muddy ou both The noble chief of the Penobscot In- dians? was found under the New York gas light the other evening, bathed in tears, on account of the bass-wood squaw whom he was trying to persuade to abandon the cigar'business and dwell with him in the seciuMect foresis of Maine. The new secretary of the navy, having been informed there were buoys belonging to his department in New York harbor, immediately issued an order commanding them to report to their ships without delay. "Discipline is saj> the old salt, "if 1 have to skin everybody in the navy." John Henry, readiag to his wife from a newspaper 'There is not a single woman hi the House of Correc- tion There, you see, don't what wicked creatures wives arc? Kvery wo- man in that jail is married It is slu said; "but don't you think. John, dear, that some of them go there for A Brooklyn butcher has an intelli- gent German clerk who is trying; to learn English by looking up in the dic- tionary every wrtrd he hears but does not understand. A few days ago a lady her effort to explain what cut of meat she wanted and why she wanted it, mentioned that she ate her beef cooked rare. Rare he re- peated. 'Rare Vat ish dat? Oh, yesfc I know. H-a r-e seldom." Mr. Secretary Thompson has never served two years before the it is affirmed that his nautical acquire- ments are uiore varied than were those of President Taylor's Secretary of the Navy. When this official first boarded a war at the Oasport Navy-yard he paused before the hatch-way, gnvea startled glance downward and ex- claimed, "Great ghout if the thing isn't hollow In published notices of births we sometimes added, Thanks to Dr but .in death notices tlie names of the attending physicians are r.niittud Mercy and The following from In'lmnola (Iowa) Herald has so ciany well pressed, common sense remarks, on the, temperance question that we the eame and commend it io our read- ers "You may have on every other in a temperance without the. aid of that moral power. which lies at the base of all good ernment, (he law is powerlew and of 09 effect; hence temperance want in every city, tillage and town, and not party stake conventions, whereases' and 'resolutions.' Wheii ministers of the Gospel wnnt a and "out" of the church, tfcey, don't ask the republican or democratic aarty to them in the proposed re- vival, and threaten what they will do iC hese party leaders don't come to their aid, buf. they get down on their and carnsetly petition the Throne or jrace for help and power with which. .0 persuade men to quit their evil ways and come nnd enroll their names oil, he white parchment. When thw- is, done and effectually done, temperance aws will be enforced, and every vio- afer of the law will feel its full and power. one way to bribff nbout a reform But there? ia another, matter we will refer to while on this temperance question. are temperance leaders and agitators in nearly all communities'. there are some honorable whom we could name in our are fearfully dish faced, narrow between. the eyes and hooked nose, and look AS though they had been feeding on worni; wood and gall all their lives. The'sfc in none of the milk- of human kindness in (heir and their countenances ore ss steam as the bigots who left the Old. World to establish a religion of their own kind in the New W.orld.. These. fellows are always on the lead as a general ia tlie tem- perance meetings in towns and when they arise to say their (and they are generally said with nasal twang) the cold chills go chaM'njt up and down one's back.. They principally in invectives and wholesale denounciations of every one who or sells in'osicating liquors, and claw them with horee thieves and murder- ers. They look upon a man who drinks to excess with but little more charily than he who sells'him the pon ns a beverage. Those who don't chime in and asei.'t them in the way they think is best to bring about tem- perance reform are denounced with a sardonic scowl on their faces, as "whisky and make tnin a pretext to cut their acquaintance in the eociaj circle, This "picture" pjay be overdrawn for some but it fits here like an old fashioned dovc-uiled joint. The same line of whatever you have a to call by ministers gospel, in jheir revival meetings, would dry up the Fountains of Mercy, nnd not a sinner would be reached. t And the tcoficr fcraptraica leatfen talkers learn that temperance is a twin-sister or hand-maid to that we ore almost ready to say Love the which ir.oves conscience and reason to act, the better it will be for the cause of temperance everywhere. When at- tending tecVperance kind, big or little, leave jour hirectivea behind you. Be broad and liberal a'nd. generous, and show to the erring one that your heart and soul goes out to him. If he is a whisky dealer treat' him kindly, and reason with him. Re- member tlie Scriptural injunction of heaping coals of puod for evil. If all these fail -.viih the vio- lator of the law, then let the rigors of offended justice he meted out to him; the same that it is with him who dies without hope. Justice is represented, with her eyes bandaged holding the scales evenly balanced. An "even- ly balanced" determination to deal justly and mercifuly with mankind in general will work the cure of intemper- ance in our land, throng thn churches of all denominations, and in a great measure cleanse all parties of corrup- tion, nud give to our coun'ry a broader and higher standard of workers in the cause which elevates mankind aii3 scat- ters the principles of love, aud charUy broadcast ocer the land." BRILLIANT following makes a beautiful, brilliant and -dur- able coating or paint for ceiHinge Take two pounds of Paris while, ounce of glue; disolve the glue in warm water; mix the white with warm water, and np'ply it onTf with a good" brush. INK STAINS IN CARPETS I hare removed the very worst ink stains from carpets of very delicate cnh r' stand a minute, add more wi tcr. antfl cook it until it is thick cnnugh to starch a shirt bosom. It spreads smooth, sticks well, and' never will mould or dis- color a paper. A STRAVQE PLACE FOB PETS Two yeare ago Gonrga Bidwcll, the no- torious Bank of England Forger, was transferred to Dartmoor Prison. Soon after he was apparently seized w'ith paralysis in the lower limbs, has_ ever since been an inmare of the in- firmary. Lute.Iy a new Governor appointed to Dartmoor, who was skep- tical as to. the genuineness of illness. The oilier day, therefore, the prisoner was ordered' to up and dress, hut positively refused thereupon he was carried to a cold sell and left there unclothed until he choose to be dressed. With- t in an hour he. jumped up and put on his clothes, and .evidently a cure had been effected, but when he was being stripped a curious discovery" was inidn. Beneath his armpits were found a tame mouse and rut. These he confessed he bad caught. in the in- firnury and had petted and fed w crutubs for many months. A grocer in Washington adrcr" that hohns whisky tVit-palc been Mink by .nil the hor-' iNEWSPAFERr NEWSPAPER!
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