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Cedar Rapids Gazette (Newspaper) - November 29, 1974, Cedar Rapids, Iowa (tftlnr Frances, a three-year-old hen turkey, is one bird that didn't have to worry about Thanksgiving. As a matter of fact, she lived to enjoy the leftovers from the holiday repast. Frances is the pet of Uwen May, director of the Salinas, Calif., Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. Indicted 31 Times Linda Taylor, 47, leaves the Cook county court in Chicago following her arraignment on a 31-count indictment involving her alleged receipt of illegal welfare benefits, medical assist- ance, food stamps, Social Secur- ity and veterans benefits. Authorities said evidence in- dicates Mrs. Taylor master- minded a scheme in which she used 80 different names, 30 addresses, and 15 phone num- bers. She is accused of receiv- ing benefits on behalf of three deceased husbands and 27 children. Mrs. Taylor pleaded innocent to all charges. UPI Telcphoto Jokester Repaid on Thanksgiving Gazette Photo by John Mclvor Looks Like 'Old Auntie' Lead Empty Cheering Section to Victory Lack of a cheering section didn't dampen the enthusiasm of Ml. Hood college cheerleaders from Crcshiim. Ore., as they bounced their rah-rahs off (he empty stands. Ml. Hood won! on to defeat the Seattle Cnmntiinily college Sea Kings in the annual Tip-Off basketball tourney at Hellenic college. Wash. A joke played by Jim Klinger, 2259 Washington avenue SE, on Mr. and Mrs. Dean Barker some lime ago was repaid Thanksgiving morning when signs and a turkey made of chicken wire were found on the front lawn of the Klinger home. Standing in the doorway are Klingcr and his two children, Barb, 8, and Jeff, 7. Mrs. Barker may have had her fifth graders at Tyler school help with the joke work. The Barkers, newcomers to Cedar Rapids, were looking for a home when Klinger led them to a dump via a telephone call. Automobile Dealers Are Resorting to Drastic Measures To Sell Cars By Art Buchwald WASHINGTON As each day passes by, the aulomobile dealers are getting more desperate to move their 1975 cars. They've tried almost everything under the sun to no avail well, almost everything. "Attention all cars atlenlion all cars go to Overview Terrace a family is being held hostage by a madman." "Zipkind, we know you're in there. Throw your weapon out the window and come out with your hands up and you won'i get hurt." "Not unless the Friedkins agree to my terms." "What are your "They buy a new four-door Buccaneer station wagon with genuine leather seats, power steering, air-conditioning and white- wall tires. I'll throw in the radial tires for free." "Zipkind, that is no way to sell an automobile." Tried Everything "I've Iried everything else, copper. I begged them to come into the showroom. I promised the greatest trade-in of their lives. I offered them financing over 48 months. But they just laughed at me. Well, now it's my turn to laugh. They'ei- Ihcr sign a contract or else "Let me speak to Friedkin." "Here he is, copper, but I warn you, if he makes one false move "Friedkin, are you willing to give in to Zipkind's de- "I'd like lo, commissioner, bill I don't have the money. Who can afford a new ear these "Zipkind, here is your wife Esmerelda." Please Come Out "Horace, please come out of the house. Even if you sell the Friedkins a car, you can't keep holding people as hos- tages every time you want to make a sale." "No dice, Esmerelda. If I don't .sell any '75 ears, they'll take my dealership away from me. I have to Ihink of us I warned Friedkin something like this would happen if he kept stalling on the new models." "Zipkind, we're losing patience with you. You cither come out or we're coming in after you." "All right, copper, I'm coming out. But Friedkin is going lo be sorry. When he goes to buy his nexl new car he'll be paying more lhan they're selling for right now." "Get in the cruiser, Zipkind. We're taking you down to headquarters." "Hey, copper. What arc you doing with a HCT cruiser? How about a new '75 Amazon? I'll throw in a siren and a red light gratis, and you get a two-yenr warranty on all parts except the engine. I'll give you for this heap, no ques- tions asked." "Sorry, Zipkind, but [here's a freeze on in the depart- ment and we can't buy any new cruisers." "That's what I thought, copper When it conies lo a new car you're all talk." Cunvrioht 197.1, l.os Anork', Tlmri A monkey at the Copenhagen zoo goes through a series of fa- cial contortions for the photog- rapher's benefit. The photogra- pher, who won a photo contest sponsored by the MM with the character studies, explained that he could not resist the little monkey "because it has a strik- ing resemblance to an old auntie of mine."
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