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Cedar Rapids Gazette Newspaper Archive: May 13, 1974 - Page 24

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Publication: Cedar Rapids Gazette

Location: Cedar Rapids, Iowa

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   Cedar Rapids Gazette (Newspaper) - May 13, 1974, Cedar Rapids, Iowa                                vvircotioto Welcome Their Kin The 120th Syracuse university commencement drew over people, but the last row of graduates in the School of Arts and Science, all advertising-design majors, wanted to make sure Mom and Dad were appropriately greeted. They lettered their backs with a "Hello! Mom and Dad" billboard. No Peeping Tclephoto Muscovites try to take a peep behind a new Kremliii wall in Moscow. Without warning or explanation, soldiers erected a fence around Red Square, barring the famous tourist landmark to tourists. Tclephoto Standard View Bird's-eye view of Cable Beach in Nassau is standard with Nassau Beach hotel guests who like to parasail. Guests are hooked into a special harness and towed alongside the beach by a fast-moving speedboat. How About That? Model Jane Seymour displays a bottle opener of gold, with blue and white diamonds, and worth 250 pounds, in London. Shown were winning pieces from "Diamonds Today." Maker of the bottle opener is Russel of London. Telophoto wlrepnoto Singing Message Aspiring actress Veronica Wallers delivers a message in song from the New York office of Garrelt Enterprises. The company has been delivering messages since 1972 and started a singing message service last June. Western Union, which offered a singing telegram service for ninny years, has ended ils service except in New York and California and plans lo eliminate il In those states soon. Pholo hy Arl Hough Rotary Dignitaries in C.R. Dr. Kiyoshi Tognsaki, former president of Rotary International, arrived Sunday to speak at the Cedar Itaplds Rotary club's 60th anniversary observance Monday noon at the Montrose hotel. Shown at a reception Sunday are, from left, Charles King, vice-president of the Cedar Rtiplds club; Or. and Mrs. Togasakl, both American-born but now living in Tokyo; Herb Jacobs, Mason City, governor of Hotary district 597; Mrs. Jacobs, and Schrader, Cedar Rapids president. Car Salesmen Know Answers When They Bug Showroom Floor By Art Buchwald was reported in the press that certain car dealers have been bugging their automobile showrooms so they can hear what people are saying when they're out of earshot of the salesman. This, of course, makes it easier for the salesman to know what the prospective buyers are think- ing, and therefore he can make a better pitch to sell a car. Let's go into one of these showrooms. The couple has been looking at the cars on the floor alone for about 20 minutes. The salesman comes out of the back office and says: "Well, Fanny, how do you like our new Mark II The woman looks startled. "How did you know my name was The salesman gulps. "Your husband' McKinley told me." The husband says, "I never told you her name was Fanny. And how did you know my j first name was The salesman says, "Well, honestly, 11 didn't know, but 1 took a wild guess. You look like a Fanny and a McKinley. Now let's talk about the car. You're in the market for a I hardtop in maroon with brown leather seats.'! Fanny and McKinley look at each other in astonishment. BUCHWALD "Wind "We are looking for that Fanny says. "You must be a mind reader." "After you've been in this business as long as I have, you get to know that certain people like certain colors. Now we do have a four-door Panda in maroon with bucket seats. I'm sorry it doesn't come with a stick shift, McKinley, but you know Fanny doesn't like a stick shift, and I think you should bow to her wishes." "I know Fanny doesn't like a stick shift and she knows she doesn't like a stick shift, but how do you know she doesn't like a stick The salesman laughs nervously. "By the way she's carry- ing her handbag." "Let's Ret out of Fanny says to McKinley. "Want Tn Ht- Huni-m" the salesman says. "I want to be very honest with you. You two don't think you can afford a Panda, what with the orthodontist's bill for Nicky's teeth, and your daughter Frieda going off to Oberlin next fall, and Fanny's mother hav- ing to have that operation. Well, let me tell you, with a trade- in on your Ford Mustang, the Panda will still cost you less than McKinley asks, "Can I talk in my wife "Of Ihe salesman replies and retires in the back office. "This is a real weird place, Fanny, lie knows more about us than our next-door neighbors do." "I Fanny whispers. "Let's loll him we'll think il over and be back nexl Tuesday." The salesman rushes out of the back office and yells, "Could you mnlce il Wednesday? I don't work on Tuesday, and I'd halo to lose Ihu salo." COHvrltjht 1.01 AiiowUn Tlmos   

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