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Alden Times Newspaper Archive: September 26, 1890 - Page 1

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Location: Alden, Iowa

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   Alden Times (Newspaper) - September 26, 1890, Alden, Iowa                                �   M VOLUME xiir. ALDEN IOWA, FRIDAY, HKl'TEMBER 2(>, 1890. NUMBER 27. BUSINESS DIRECTORY tBxnuitaM. ' COM^MATIONiL OroiUm-flmtsM Mck ibbMIM U e'oloek k. ml Uadtj Bchoni M Urn. BwrloMMah Babbktb TralBf. Bav. J, O. MIllOT. ti.I)., pMtor. QBIUIAN M. B. OinmaH-OfrTfMt aTOTT Itanday U lOdO o'olsok it. m. rrMoblnf vtrr etiiar Baadky. Buula* Hobool tt P *. m. CTtrr Bnnaar. Pnyn mMtlof cnrr Thiuiday BtuidaT. Pnrn i Ilia kl T o'alooL -DRAIiXHa HI- Grain, Live Stuck. tnnj e�t>b�(b kt lo�i o'olosk �. m. 8aaa�y �obool lmm�ll�tg|jr *ft�r moralug Mr  ttn'l  X. C. IMeri, U. W.; J. Tomllnaoa, Ba- . .oonlar.___;____._____-______.................- DIBIOO MPODE. No. Ml, K. of r.-Wratlniri the flrtt and third Tueiday �T�nlnci of aacn nonth In Utlay'a Ilall. Aliltlug KuUhU al> wari iralcoraa.   M. J.  VvtMX, C, 0.  V, E. -Ir-iiBitT, K. ji-U^aud^------~- j|AnK J. njnnr, Attomay and bonnaalor at Law. Promtit attentfon (riven toeollect^ona. OOlea iver UUs)' a Urowu'i bturo, Aldou, Ilurdin County, Iowa. �p P. rBiaDiB,if,�. Aldrn low^ Offlea oral Koatlnt't Ilardwan Blore. ALDEN, IOWA. VriDOBB, ni., Cokl, WbitbbM 96 Ptr Cent focL PETER TftYlOfi, -DKALBB tif- TOPICS OF THE TniEs: A  CHOICE  SELECTION  OF   INTERESTING  ITEMS. GRAIN, Coinmanl. and CrltlnUiua llaniKl IT|Min the IlappaiiWiK. ur lha Uay-lllaturlval and Newi Nulaa. CiiAiiTH have been prcpurod showing tliat llie oyo has 72!) diHtinct oxprcBsions, coiivc)Mng its many difforont ahadcs o( niuanlng. _,_ It i-i stated lliBrnro'tibrtiiaii Electric Company of Madrid baa in contcmpla-tinti.tliQ iiistallatioa of a plant ior dec-trio plowing on a largo property in tlio eyulral part of Spain; Onk o( tlio standing lurapotlioa in tlio l)ri�on of TJsknb, Jlacodonitt, is a collcp-{ion of largo ants. I'ifty antsplncod on tho body of a man cliainud to tho (loor so that ho can't tnoro liuib or ho^ul, will cauBo as cxlronio torturo a� can bo devised^- -------- "It is really ourioua," said tho C/.ar lately, "that I may not rely on u singlu one of-my diplouialisls. Tlicy nil liu- always promise and never fiillUl. I prefer niy generals an hundred fold. Tho meanest of thpm,  were ho even arrant fool,.....,would--Buvor;^lmYo Ihu audacity to afllrm a fact which ho knew to be unlruo. BARBEIl ANB HAIRDmEIL ALDEN, IOWA. bayo no opjxjrtunlty to communicate with tho outside world or to elfcut their libcralion,_..... TliKitK ia a doctor in New Haven, Conn., who, to say tho least, isiiuhiiiue figure in medical circles. Ho argues' that llLlh is healthy. He doubtless Boeans "wholesome," and if lie knows OS lilllo about sanitary science as about the innaning of Englinli words no.ouo CBD wonder at anything lie nays. Ho is opi) roved beyond doubt the liarmlosH nature of bcwivkcs." He ridicules the seizure of bad hLcf by the inspectors, declares that it is "sheer nonsense" to forbid-tho i-ali! of imma-tWo voal."ovcFit it be but four lionra old, and boasts Ihiil ho hat advised women to give to their children, "cspoeially to those sutrering with cholera infantum," water from wells that ore near certain vaults. wn nan JnaaranM Cm, >amiltlpUm�a ... 0/ rnrpori. lU. T can sail Sloamahip tlekota, and can brtrif jowrl) lonjJiJLrjSBd_.thogii_:_AlsayLt��!T.tout to marry an untitled doc' tor of medicine. lu reply to an intimate friend who asked her recently how she could marry a man of such low rank when so many princely suitors wore at her disposal, sho'said: "I prefer to marry a niuu without a naillo rather than a nauio without a mai CHICAGO, m AHD DAKOTA ALDEH,   IOWA   F.iIX8, KO CHICAGO, M1LWA1 ASO ALL EASTERS FOISTS. G. W. CiiPKKN, of Trnckee, Cal., make* tho following unique i^olitical an nonncora tnit-r~"I'"-5ffi~a "Uopendon t candidal u for the office of road overseer in and for District No. u-dependent ii|>on tho^oj^ers qf soid district. I am pr6-ominonlly souiul upon ^llTFoleiuT ing quottions, from tho tariCT all tlie wiiy down to 'Who struck Hilly Patter son?' and if elected will do my duty aiTd~ if defeated will submit withou kicking." \ oKNTi.F.MA.N' who wrote concerning tho price of board in a country town ia said to have received this -TeptT-T-^Btnrrdr t'-t^ Passengers Can Save FUOM HOURSto BETWEES CHICAGO AND POINTS ON THIS UME OT 'TAKISO TEXAN PETS AND PESTS. VINDICTIVE  INSECTS   IN LONE STAR STATE. THE TralU of the FaitlTa Tarantula and lUlo-yiicra.laa uf tha Faaolnatliit Drvll'a Iloria-Tha Chaarrul Canlipada and tha Sadato ifornait Proc. N the most set-tied parts of Texas Venomous insects are a I -most as obsolete as they are iu the Middle States, but in the valley of thoKioUrando, the Ixiundary b�-Weeu Texas and Jlexloa, tarantulas, centiptHlos, HcorpiouR, ticks nd other- Ix r i -tators of the hu-miin' cuticle can tho sight, but in not a desirable object to handle. This cheorfnl insect is armed with �� ' pair of fangs of sucii strength that il can rcaL this cactua-growlng region are deprived of-pneumonia, rheumatism ond other elements of Now England weather, kind nature rcconipcneos them with a wiealth of viudiotive-i))fiectii, the stiug of'anv ono Df which is calculated to mafco a j^raven iuiug'o take notice of what'is joing on. There is also a species of -ytllinippor that Ls an e^poit atr-bor^ with ulxiut'fortv legs, and eaob leg li b^j-had--for-tho aTmodwltlratinifrlikr^tljot-dfni-waspr pickingrBiid they {    ^yhen a centipede (snohora his ihead TUE TAn.^XTL-LA. It may nut l>e gonorallv known that ' a State institution exists for the purpose lelo 'ram in '     preventing tho landing of such alien i    :   1   1"" i persons frnm fc)rci(rn pnnntrio'i who are wi'ik, incliiuiiig-^---- washing U)) the carriaj-u and lii.aiiv ag4!Ut. Uubinsun," He wrote in itti-Bwer.tbnt, llinugh b'Mb piano apent and eiirriagu iieinlii^cIcansinK, he "as not nccusiomed to surh cbarne* in a Ixi;ird bilL and soon uflcr Jearuud that tho original co]iy had run thus: "Board f'JO a week, including waihiug, use carriage ond i)iano.   .\gnes Itobinson." S..MF.nii.N.i unusuol in tho marriage j "�a'ti"R H'eir arrival.^rt insane or unable t) supjxjrt themselves Mi i  gotten , up for tho puriKjso of inspiring a lack of confldonco. Ho ii(/an enormous, dark, brunette spider; which, like the THiTUyo uOWlwy, Edna largely to httU arid legs;   His^j'ilie larantuTa' in the fleshy anatomy of a hUiaBn be-jnKi jyrTnwB__pul_JiijL_tKCL grappling-iroufl from his roar, and then dniw�-.hi�_ eighty odd, very o o. Moreover, he ia not a frog at all but a li'/ard. He has no vocal ability like the fiog. He never sings.   Ho cannot jumn, and like the young lady in the ballau who,, adjusted" her clothing on a hickory limb, he never goes near the watoR^ll______ of which explodes the frog theor^ HoweYeiL,.lie has-hom�,-t-jo-on th�-back of his head, while hi^^hole bock-ia incrusted with horm*, aU of whioh, to the little animal's credit, are on the f-otttsidt?.-With" 'BjXH~tlio Tiorna are usually on the ip The homed'^og is veryabstemions. It can livjK^r months without eating anything/*nd bo none tho worse for it. lhi>^ cuHmHg~titll(rTSl)tll6 WlllTB^ jierfoctly immovable in one posi-lu for days at a time, which looks very much as if Nature started to make Xnioasengef-boy of ifTTiut^bangcd bor NOTARY PUBLIC. Beal EititB, Collect AXJOXOf.   --  -   -   lO f am and Town Property irom^itf� awp-KMiraw- BANK OF ALDEN, BBSJ. BIBD8AXX ft SON, AldMi. Hardin County, Iowa. THIS SHORT EOUTE. CONNECTIONS AT " ELDORA jruSCTION with the Chicago and Korihwostcrn "Hallway for Tama Oily, Cedar Ilaplds, Clinton, Chlcagb, Milwaukcc-Des Moines, Council BluBi, , Bl. Paul, Mlnncapnlii and all point* lo ,-l-Dakotar-Nebraika, Sanaa* and-tbe Watt ELDORA with tho Central Iowa Railway for polnu North and South. IOWA FALLS With tho^B., 0. R * Mi'dTmfiHIs Oonlroi ianw5yii,Tor \Vai^^ loo, Dubuque, Fort Dodgo an^^loox City. ' For all InforatloD ab^uf Freight ot Pauengcr Hatea, applvto our local amitl or addresi the General Freight and Pm-lenger Agtsnt at^JStaora, Iowa. W.a.PORTM, lino occurred a short time ago in Scran- ">�cU money iney^uve in their inside ton. Pa. A couple, about to bo wedded, I">cketa. He di>e:iu't ask them if they worn to take a certain train, and it crazy, fnHf he did, and took'theit tacked just eight minutes of train time, "'''tomeijt^r it, tho craziest of them They were Ciiual to tho emergency, j "'"'5]>^bo tho most sane, and the cou-Tho groom, Clarence King Ijrowli, ;  iiig-iUrongh the: "'"�^'�nea out of a hundr*d,--t�JUat streets at a broak-npt^siieed the couple wore married. ]ust in time bloasing as- they- a'3) Oiitire lK)dy is covered with short, coarse, black ha|p;^r briatloa-. He i� armed with a,fiiiir of curved fangs with wiioh .he jjblaius his food^r repels the famil-iatity of man. When a tarantula's [-logs are KpreaLlhiLgtp.iual- tied down by the roota; or, in other wotda, it iii not a stone, but a block ol living wood. If yon examine it in the right Qme you way be able to find upon it, half, hidden antong the liohen and motoM, a few of its objoure leaves and flo.^we�,. U you ^t.17 to eat it with an Me, yoa will ftnd-tt-wttwaaly- hard to do oa It i� entirely unwedgeable, -aommnnlna-a witti any nna nntaint    At, beinR tOode np 0{  OOimtleM bn�ob�i laU-thagolMoppotjinitytoporomnnH^^ � oIomI? .tog�theiLUuik.l   ICauial There are still a few of the settlors ' at Florida, Monroe county. Mo.,,who wore tbore when Mark Twain was a boy going to a small country school at that place. Florida is a wee backwoods -settlement with nothing to recommend / it but the humorist it tornod out and the great catfish that are oaught there � in Salt Biver. Someof the old-timara romemberc the lank, good-for-nothing Sam Clemens, who used to fish day in and day out the stunmer througn, and spend tho winter telling stories at the j-grocory.- There is one oldfellow there at least, however, to whom tho fame of America's greatest humorist has nefer come,   k stranger was  stopping at____ Florida ret'ontlr andthe old maii was painted out to uim as one. of the pioneers. "Wiero wa.s Mark Twain born?" he' a.ski'd t^he old fellow,  after chatting-. wrtliTiini ttwliile. "Mark T.wainV bo queried, iu aston-Lshment, "who's ha?" "JWhy, the humorist," explained the gentleinen, amused at the deusity of tho old fellow's ignorance. "YoTnnerist, eh? Neverheerd o' him! an' I gnesa ef he'd ever lived nigh here I'd a knowd it." "HiS'name was Samuel Clemens^ don't yon remember himV* ; The* old fellow soratohed his head, tbonghtfullT, and in a moment his mem-i ory heli>ed bim out. 1 ''Sam Clemens,'he said: "Oh, yea,. 1-Tomombor S*m.   He left here young thoughrHin-everybody said thai-he.waa.____ the good-fer-nothinest boy they aver, soed.-Sam was a long-^pimUe-abaakeA- feller, an' I never seed him do a liok a work iu all his days. -Uut, ez I said,', he left bare young', an' I never heerd i-wbat-beoomo- o' himr- -Peuitenteryi- mos' prob'ly." the lighta are Ut in the parloi he oomes throngh the �hnttera and priKioed* to irl down ill orawItiEWinTre baok^f soma lady;   II irtoiwaaunnyda^inFalkland ascend; tha Ikaba ol some youth undw- b�*th his p�rMQ.ojp t^n nriff t�[nment.   He res art of a person, ned slzei ita no WUUna to rajr for (ilaiy. Judge-Well, Moon ay, yon are ao-oused ol beating your wife. What have yon to "say why you Bhauldti*i pay ton dollars jjrjake^len dayai_j___ ��'�Mooney-"Wlio' aays""! beat her,-Judge? -Judge--The lady beraelt testifleU loit. 'Mo6ii�y^=m:at t jiT^hS old bd^JlMi ________________   :e� to sniVlhaTit (eienttaataa of dillerent people; The CMiitipcda, as will be smq at a glanM�^lMlongLto the soolopendra family, and it, of course, relatod to the myrktpoda branch of it. The oratiMde ia not oBly unpleasant and CBpnlalTnto self owns np to it?  WeU, than, lllgd a ten on it with pleasure, for 111 be dinged if it isn't the first timO in fXi, out Bar�|^-that she's oamed-op-to odm-,- ing out saoond best."--yonters-Go*- Tom-It is plain they ara in Jack-Why V- Tom-Didn't yoa notic* he took tha longest way in going boo*   

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