Elkhart Sentinel, October 3, 1889

Elkhart Sentinel

October 03, 1889

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Issue date: Thursday, October 3, 1889

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Publication name: Elkhart Sentinel

Location: Elkhart, Indiana

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Years available: 1885 - 1890

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Elkhart Sentinel (Newspaper) - October 3, 1889, Elkhart, Indiana -'.>■> "T -»t» ïMjglJif- , . n»-or.1er's Office au g 30 80ESTABLISHED IK" 1866 AS THE ''DEMOCRATIC UNION-" VOL.22 NO 40. Professional Cards. ELKHART,IND. mURSDAY, OCT , 1889.TERMS:$L5 PHYSICIANS. URS. PIXÜEY & BOWMAir, oface, 110 Marion St. C. S. PIXIiEY, M. D. Residence Uor. Marion <& 2nd Sts W. E. BOWMAN, M. D. Hesldence 132 Division Street. ' • mUORT, SI. «>. i Thysician ii Surgeon, . e Block, adjoining Hoffman's Grocery C plls «BB*ered from office dKyorniK DENTISTS. S^SCCl/i^y^UU^ flAlSñc/J^imMrMISCELLANEOUS J. H. Allison. ATOU MAKEli & JEWJCLER, ELKIIAllT, IND., Makes a speciiilty of watclie?, cb.aius, clianns, etc. coni;>Iete set of inacliinory for inaUiuK every part of a watcli. F. STEPHENS. W B. Notary Pub. & Conveyancer Offloe in À. Steiiliena' furniture Btore, 117 Main reet. COMFORTABLE and ELEGANT. For Sale by Leading Dealers. M'fd Solely ty WM. BAEKEE, Troy, N.T.The Davis Swing Gliurn. Mrtk("rS tllO I:tl-i;r(Nt SlltlOllIlt Ol* lllsHl^K* licciiuse tlie concii.Si-ion ia tfroatur tluiu iu any oliior clmrn niadu. Makes the ln-«t <1II n 11 t V—It Is I lio (ì-iKi(-st to clean—It la tlio (easiest to ■■vork. A lartre majority of tJio >! c w Jiïi K 1 ¿S1 d crcaineiles uso ttiQ factory sizes, Iiiiiig ftora fliQ coiling. One chnrn at -wliolesalo where vc have no agent. Eubbka akb »KINNKB Butteh WoEKEas, Kïsbitt BtjTTER Pkintkbs, Etc., Era. Send for lUustratsd circiilura. V£KSIONT FAJBIIX MAi^irrVK CO., Bellowa Falls. T/e. r////?û POINT Yoli slioiilci read the Chicago Oaii.v N liws l>ccaiise it's tin in.ii:~ yrentii'tit f:r7c's/>ii/rf, TIktc are two sidesto every political question, ;ind The Daily Nhws gives tliein both with <.c)ual fairness. A party oruan magnifies one side and dwarfs the otlier. No sensible man wants to ' be trifled with in this fashion. The lime has gone by when Ameriran citizens expect to inherit their political opinions. They want tom. ike theirown—and to do this they want a paper to tell them the truth, regardless of their own personal pre-ferences, Jf you are an iionest man,independent and self-reliaiii in J^' thought, read an honest and iii.le- pendent newspaper — read 'I he Chicago Uaily News. Rememher—Its circulation i.s nio,ooo a day—over a million a week—and it ci<sts by m;iil i-.ts. a month, four months Ji.oo,—<v;c rr«/« itay.THE FHOTOaRAPHBLR iilKhart, Indiana, —^luea bl.: rome castowers Is Inrgoly PBtroB-0 ity the people oí Oosbeu Brietol, Middle-Vlatria, iSdwatdsbnrg, Adamsvlllc, Oasa-E Oniou, aud many frtm a rilßtance who Ire hIdBtvlQ of Piotare. TRAVEi;ZkER'â UUXDIi r aKE BHORB & MICHIGAN BOUTBBBN ^ UAUiWAY. j.a and fclter Bnnday, May 12 'tj9 I^afee Shore « Siichlgan Shore trai:;^ to and from EJ kliart *111mj» aa toUows: KASTWAOD. No. 12,Via Briatol and Coldwater leavep3:H0am I'ainA" " to Gr. liapida, " iue -Train G. rnns to Goeheu oniy. leaves at 7:45 " iSo. 22 rons via Bristol and Ooldwater, leaves at............................ii:a5 » xa ..,1. 2 via Goshen and KendaUyille, Ivs 12:t5 t ra !'->lu O. via Bristol to Gr. liapids, " X :20 p m ■ E. runs to Goshen only, leaves at i:io " Mo 1. Qimited) passengers for Buftalo anl points olverglnK only......... 8 :a5 n m • nVMt Iiine via Old Road......... C:l5 " Nj i8 runs to Goshen only..............8:SS " '8. " via Goshen, Iiigonier and Kendall vlUe........................Jl:Mpin C UNS ARRIVE, MAKING OONNEO'l'IONS AT ELKHART. Goshen....................6:30 a m TcftlnF. " " .......................... - ^ B. • Grand Rapids............12:40 noon WKBTWABD. ■'£ riin 21 leaves............................. m i:calnNo.«,artlveB/rom Air Jjine. leavesat........................... a ^q (ft. 27 ObioMti Acqommodetion.......l-.m a m IvAln 8. Chicago Bxprsas, leaves at d:05 p m ' 6. " FastExpreas " " 6:50^ NOTXi Fast Mail east does mbt .... Papers and mail arrive dally at Xrain No. 3á ieom Obleago to Slkhart Ooa passengers changing to train Mo. 38. faaaengera irom Goshen on Train No. av «bange cotf at Elktaart it going west. SDKDAT XBAIN8. ca^^^eeager,. 4,6,and 8, East. Nos. y. aad»^ Wes A. J. bMrm, O. P. Agent, _ „ , PfP.WBiaW . WruiiE, Tlolce t Aaaa^.. WHERE YOU AND I MEET. If I were a czar, and held the lives and fortunes of my subjects in the hollow of my hand, I would issue an imperial ukase forbidding under great pains and penalties the organization of ,"Societies for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children in any part of my dominions. This may sound a little strange to people who know how fond I am of children, but it is nevertheless true. But I would stop the organization of such societies because I would regulate the affairs of my empire in such a manner that no little child within the limits of even its farthest province would be subjected to cruelty. I do not believe that any nation is civilized within whose borders even one little child is subjected to brutal treatment, or is brought up in hunger, or cold, or misery, or vice. I belieye that the treatment accorded millions of little ones in this nation stamps it as pagan past hope and past redemption. I believe that the greatest duty of a civilized government is to furnish homes where every little child that is born under a star of ill omen can be cared for during its infancy, clothed, fed, and educated until it reaches maturity, and then sent out into the world Just as practically equipped to fight the battles of life as are the niuie fortunate. The children of the vicious should be taken away from them and cared for by the state, and homes sliouki be provided for half orphans, where their remaining parent can visit them at any time. I would not have these children subject to the cruelties oi: brutal nurses and overseers, either, for I would hang the first man that ever showed them an unkindness and that would have a tendency to check abuse of the children. All this and a great deal more I do would if the czar of Russia would lay off and let me "sub." in his place, and 1 do not believe my subjects would blow me up with dynamite, either. 1 do not know that the officers of the l>'lkhart county agricultural association desire any suggestions from me—the managers of public institutions are not v.sually friendly to my gentle hints—but 1 think I could furnish them a pointer or two that would help them" about drawing crowds from Elkhart to their annual meetings. The managers of the Mishawaka fair contract with Trumpet Notes band to play at their fair one day each year. The people of Elkhart are proud of their magnificent band, and the result of such a friendly feeling toward it on the part of the Mishawaka fair managers is to warm the cockles of the hearts of our Elkhart people, and they follow their band up to the fair by the thousand. Qoshen, on the other hand, controls the Elkhart county fair, just as she controls everything else in the county that there is a dollar in, and she is yerv careful to draw out the uttermost cent. She has a band to support, and it takes part of the bur den off her to pasture it on the county fair. So every year Rogers' Goshen band is hired to i>lay at the fair,.and the people of the northern part of the county go over to the Mishawaka fair. Of course, we of Ekhart can stand this kind of a deal just as long as the Goshen fair people can. The members of 'J'rumpet Notes band all have good positions, and they do not depend on music for their support. They do not care particularly for an engagement at Goshen, but this city ought to be treated with a slight show of decency by the fair managers. The Goshen band, like everything else in that village that is a success, is pensioned by the general public, but that is no sign that our band should be over^-looked entirely, and the Goshen band hired every day of every fair. There is such a thing as fair play, even if Goshen has not heard of it. My young but baldheaded friend. Charley Leonard, I understand has invented a new compound for scrubbing store floors that he will put on the market soon. Mr. Leonard is a first-class chemist, and I expect his new preparation will find an immediate and heavy sale. A traveling man who was passing along Main st»eet the other day was completely "taken off his feet," if I may be allowed to deal in a time-honored metaphor, at a sight that attracts very little attention among those or us who are familiar with the habits of the Elkhart girl in her native lair. When the pilgrim reached the corner at Mayberry's drug store he was confronted by about twenty young women, Avho turned off of east Franklin street. I do not mean to say that a traveling man took fright at twenty girla, for was taught truthfulness at a tender age, and have been particularly careful to keep even exaggerations out of this column. The t.m. stood the shock of meeting the girls like one <}f the little heroes that his class are popularly supposed to be in emergencies of that kind, but what> took his breath away was the fact tha^t those twe^ dams^ I were each and all chewing gum, and their jaws were rising and falling together with the rhythmical precision of the chorus in a eomic opera. The girls were the employes of the Jones & Primley company, and those who know the rules of that concern say that the ladies are compelled to chew gum on the street to advertise it. I may have been misinformed on this point, but it does not matter much, as Seth Jones will be around and "check me up" if I have misrepresented his institution. _ Very nearly all of the cement sidewalks ordered by the common council have been completed, and only a few sporadic cases are breaking out about the city at the date of this writing. The season of eighteen hundred and eighty-nine is practically past, but 1 feeln like congratulating the othep twelve thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine citizens of Elkhart on the marked progress that has been made in perfecting our wonderful sidewalk system. The past year has seen the greatest increase in the mileage of cement walks in the history of the city, but it is probable that each succeeding year will see a largely increased amount of walk laid, until we reach that happy time when not' ne foot of board walk disgraces a street in Elkhart. The people of Elkhart are not proud, but tliey do think a great deal of the sidewalks which ornament their beautiful streets. Charley, otherwise known as the head of the family firm of Walley & Son.s, is greasing his gun and dog this afternoon, preparatory to going out in the wilds of Michigan after squirrels. Mr. Walley is somewhat of a hunter himself, and I imagine that something akin to the plagues of Egypt will fall upon the squirrels of that part of the Michigan woods through which he passes. It is related by an old resident that years ago when the Indian still begged fire water about the village of Elkhart, Charley went out one day after deer. He found a good place on a runway, but when a deer approached him he was so surprised that before he could tell the color of its horns he was looking at its stump tail. Charley's first impression was to run the deer down, but he was afraid that he might get ahead of his dog. and lose it in the woods. As the deer disappeared around a turn in the runway a happy thought struck him and he hastened- to put it into execution. He quickly bent his gun around a tree, and hastily fired down the path. The bullet took a circular course, caught the deer, and within a few minutes the lucky sportsman was on his way home with a fati buck thrown over his shoulder- REAL ESTATE TRANSFERS-David Martz to Eli lierkey lot in Elkhart $400. Jennie D Oakea to Nelson M Johnson lot in Elkhart $400. M A Bonnell to Jennie D Oakes lot in Elkhart $250. F Donahue to E Darling lot in Elkhart $500. 0 M Leiteh to Elisha Johns lot in Elkhart $850. J E & E A Barbour to R & A Nicholson lot in Bristol $1600. Jocob Fields to Martin Mullen lot in Wakarasa $100. Elisha Luke to L J Chapman lot in Elkhart $250. Oscar P Soules to P L Boedemer lot in Elkhait $200. Judson K Mellott to Christena Keler land in Hairison tp $513. Myron E Meader to James H Jacobs lot in Goshen $300. A F Wolfo to W & M Francis lot in Elkhart $220. R & 0 O Craig to Ames J Cuip 80 a in Harrison tp $500l'. Samuel McAlvey to Samuel Kindy lot in Elkhart $350. Isaac 0 Oakes to John H Heath lot in Goshen $50. Merit Wins. We desire to say to our citizens, that for years we have been selling Dr. King's New Discovery for Consumption, Dr. King's New Life Pills, Buck-len's Arnica Salve and Electric ISitters, and have never handled remedies that sell as well, or that have given such universal satisfaction. We do not hesitate to guarantee them every time, and we stand ready to refund the purchase price, if satisfactory results do not follow their use. These remedies haye won their great popularity purely on their merits. F. J. Goldman & Co. Druggists. A Terrible Epidemic. There was a terrible epidemic of dis-entery and bloody flux in Pope county, Illinois, as many as five deaths occured in one day. Messrs. Walter Brothers, of Waltersburg, sold over three hundred and eighty bottles of Chamberlain's Colic, Cholera and Diarrhoe Remedy during this epidemic and say they never heard of its failing in any case when the directions were followed. It was the only medicince used that did cure the worst cases. Many persons were cured by it after the doctors had given them up. 25 and 59 cent bottles for sale by J. M. Shelley and W. H. Berkey & Co- Ladies shoes that were Bold for $1.75 and $2 are selling for $1. Just think of it. Come in and ask for. them, and we will she(7 them to you. We have got thera, and they are going fast at thé Boohester shoe store.SYE'S SraiER NOTES. Ho Indulges in a Story-TeUinar Match with Stuert Robson. Tbe Comedian's Wonderful Apple Crop —Sad Emi of a .SinaU Boy Wlio Ate One of Tliem,—A Now Story About Forrest. ICopyright, 1889, by Edgar W. Nye.] Cohasset is about twenty-one and one-half miles from Boston and is noted for its mackerel fishing, and also as tho summer home of Lawrence Barrett and Stuart Robson. It is near Nantusket and Minot's Ledge Ught>-liouse on a stern and rock-bound, coast. Ibis in latitude 42 decrees, 16 minutes, nine seconds north and longitude 70 degrees, 45 minutes, M seconds west. Mr. Barrett was away the other day when I went down there, and he will be pained when he i-eads this to know that he has missed u Sabbath with one ot the gentlest, loveliest character-- iu history. Mr. Barrett's house is large and white and has the air of shrinliing modesty so noticeable in its great but utterlj'^ unconscious owner. Mr. Robson was found at his house, walking under the trees aud thoughtfully eating green apples, of which he is passionately fond. He raises upwards of (CO) sixty barrels of apples on his estate each year, any one of which is fatal. •'A neighbor of mine had an odd experience with his apples the other day," said Robson. "He has some o± this same breed. It is an apple which will Jurn when it is trodden upou. Nobody but a cider press AND TIIOTIGUTFUT.LT EATING GUEEN APPLES. ean eat one and live. This friend of mine went out one day and discovered a boy named James sitting up in the branches of his apple tree, eating the luscious fruit and filling his shirt and trowsers with enough to stay bis stomach when he got home. 'I wish you would not do that,' said the man. *I do not care so muc# for the fruit, but iron are breaking the tree and disfiguring t.' "'O, j'ou sJiet up,' retorted the lad, knocking tho man's glasses off, together With the bridge of liis nose, with a large Itgnum vitw apple., 'If you don't go in the house and Itecp quiet I wilt come down there and injure you.' 'Very well,' said the man, 'I will have to go to-morrow and tell your father about you iiod your insulting language.' 'All right,' said the youth. 'Go in, you old pessimist, and get the razzle-dazzle if you wish. I will, in the meantime, select a few more of your mirth-provoking fruit.' "The next day, fuil of wrath, the man went over to the "boy's house and said to the fatlier: 'Sir, I have come to do a very disagreeable duty. I came to tell you of your boy and the insulting language he used to me yesterday.' " 'Do not speak of it,' said the old man, Boftly. 'He told tlie doctor and mo and his mother about it last niglit. He was very sorry indeed, very sorry indeed. Your errand is unnecessary, how^ver, sir, the boy is dead.' "TheiT the man went home and did not laugh any for two or three days. Any boy almost can pick on him,now and he does not resent it." RoDson tells a story as well as any body I Snow and I wish 1 might do it half as well in print as he does in conversation. He is full of reminisceiicos and all of them of interest. hS tells of a little incident in the life of the elder Booth %vhich was not of such great importance in history, but I would have given a good sum if I could have been concealed somewhere so that I could have seen tho performance. Young Edwin Booth was just then getting so that he could play the banjo pretty well. He was doing so in his father's study one day when the great Forrest entered. The elderBoothbad the most profound respect and esteem for the genius of Forrest and so he tried to got Edwin to conceal his flippant banjo. ButFoi-rest grandly motioned bim to go on with it. "Do you play Zip Coon, Edwinl" asked Mr. Forrest in deep, reverberating tones. "Yes, sir." "Play it." The great Hamlet then proceeded to plunk the exhilarating notes of the late Mr. Coon. Forrest conversed with tlie elder Booth a little, but he kept time with his foot to the FOKltEST AND. BOOTH DANCE A BEEAK-DOWN. lascivious pieasings of young Edwin's banjo. "Do you play the Gray Eagle, Edwin!" asked the great Forrest. • "Yes, sir." "Play it." Mr. Booth and Mr. Forrest still conversed in a rambling way, but they kept time to the melodious plunkings of the young tragedian. , "Do you play the Sailors' Hornpipe, Ed-win?" ; "Yes. sir." "Play it." ' Mr. Forrest now arose. So did Junius •Brutus Booth. Their faces were as 'solemn as if they were playing Richard Ini. at a. one-night Btand,.but gently, they fell fto skipping the light and flippant toe, Ull at last, in the retirement of this room; the two great tragedians, with no more mirth in their faces than there is la the prospects for the Grant Monument Fund, hoed it down to the banjo plunkety-plunkings of Jidwin Booth. I would be willing to walk up to íJcCootnl)'« dam bridge vo-day, tired as I am, if I couid sue tliac sight. "When Horaco Seavcr, of Boston, was buried in August Mr. Stuarfc Robson, amon^ others, was asked to act as pall-bearer. He wrote in reply to the invitation that he would feel honored to accept, and at the time set he rode over îrom Cohasset by a fast train. Thai is \vhore he made a mistake. If he hud read the wisdom of the great scholar and railway saviuit, Robert J. Burdette, he would have known that the man who is in a hurry should take the slow train. The Cannon Ball train is generally three hours lat e and t he Plying Dutchman is frequently uljaiidoned, but the Jerkwater mixed train is always reported on time. So Mr. Robson was a little late and the enormous autlionce thronged the aisles and extended even outside OSVPaine Hall so that he could not get in at all. Colonel Inger-soll was deliverir¿í his tribute to the dead. He spoke of Mr. Soa%'er's great kindness of heart, and said that "he did not ask God to forgive liis enemii's. He forgave them himself." "His sympathy was wide as want and, like the siiv, bent above a suffering world." "He knew that antiquity added nothing to probability—that lapse of time can never take tho jilacc of cause—and that the dust can never gather thick enough upon mistakes to make them equal with the truth." But Ml'. Robson couUl not get in. He stated to those on the outskirts of the crowd that he was '-one of the pall-bearers and must get in." "Oh! look at t'.io pail-bearer," remarked the crowd, '-isn't ho apretty pall-bearerl" queried those wlio could not get in themselves, as they bored holes ii> Mr. Robson with their keen elbows. He tried once more to make it understood that he was one of the pall-bearers, but his voicesplitup the back and a loud round of mirth was the immediate reply. "Afterward," said Mr. Robson, "Ilearned that several others had tried to get in bo-fore I arrived on t'.ie ground that they were pall-bearers and so tlve crowd was ready forme. B3'that tune, if I had known that by giving mj' name I would have been carried in on a bod of roses, I could not have done it. 1 wont tiway and as I did so I heard a man .say: 'IIo is indeed a healthy-looking pall-beaivr, is lie not J He is probably some one ivlio lives hero in Boston and has made a bet, that ho would get in and hear the add¡-c.ss. Of porltaps he is a man who funiishes giixmi for funerals. He looks like it. Did Von notice his sad faca?'" Mr. Rob.son t.iien caint; av.-ay and, taking a slow train for Coiiasset, was very soon home. Probably since the days of Damon and Pythias there has rarely been such deep devotion and affect ion between two men as that which oxi.^ti-d between Robson and Charlie Tliorne. Every tiling about the })laee briiig.s back to 'Rob" tlie memory of his old frietid, o.speciaily the welcome that Thorno always liad for liiin when he got homo. Tliovin! was always there first, con-coaled behind a bi.^i tree near the door, ^hen the proper moment canio he would sprin^'fortli like a culiiiar3'Roman; with a breast-plate nuiiio of tin pie plates, a helmet consisting o.f a. till milk pail with the bail under his cliiii, armed with a rolling-pin and shielding liims(!lf from attack by means of a briiilit, tin dishpan, he would burst fort,h and after a Shalîcspeai-ean howl of welcome lie would suddenly cast away his armor and execute a breakdown OH the green. It would seem from t his that actors are not only susceptible to enjoyment of a harmless nature, but that they actually have affection for eacli other sometimes which would do credit, lo the higher order of human beinjr.';. At one time Rob.son was playing the grave-digger umi Mr. Forrest Hamlet. When thej' came to t lie burial he noticed that the priest spoke rai lKjr tliicicly and his feet were balanctnl doubt fully ou the edge ol the grave. He s(H'med to be a little mixed as to v/liether it was Ophelia's gi-ave or a thokne's wui.come to robson. drunkard's grave. If it were the latter he seemed to have .'¡prious notions of filling it himself. Mr. Forrest not iced it. As well as I can recall tho words, t liey were about as follows: Priest—Her ohsitekies have been shofai n'large ez we have warrantish— Forrest (in a iow gi-invi)—Most damned, intoxicated and un profit able ass! Speaking pious words in tiie most impressive scene ever written or portrayed, you, sir, balance yourself upon the verge of a property grava and with the heilisli odor of rum about your garb, with eyes like the dead yet eloquent codfish, you, sirrah, e.ssay to pronounce the obsequies of tho fair Ophelia! Pah! Priest—Her death wash doubtful and but* th'great commaiul oe'vslnvayed th' order, she should in ground unshanctified hertf lodge till astrump isli played. Forrest (in a suijprcssed rumble like distant stage thunder)—Oh! villainous and most pestifei-ou.s priest! Could I but get a hack at thine own obsequies, how joyfully would I pronounce them. And, thou churL ish priest, seeking to sujiport the noble Forrest, when beshrew me tut thou canst not support the giant jag thou hast concealed about thee. Out upon thee, thou maudlin shoemaker, thou deep-voiced ass, with naught to recommend th«c but that cursed dignity which is and ever was the devil's disinfectant for a moss-grown mind. Priest—For sharitable prayers, shards flints and i)ebbles should be thrown at hei^ yet hero she's allowed her virgin crants, her maiden strewmenl.s and the bringing home _of bell n' burial. Laertes—Must there uo more be done! Priest—N'moro be done! You bet. We should pi-ofai.® sbervico of dead to shing requiem and shuch sings to her, you know, as to preach parted sholes (hie). Forrest (sotto voce—also aside)—Ob most successful and profound inebriate. Thy work is done. Tlie fair Ophelia <?an ha therecipientoE no deeper indignity. Bogus and most rocky priest. Hell could not spara thee if it knew thy wortli. Oh! full-orbed ass with tallow pate. Ods pettikins, that thou shouldst spread the priestly vestment« o'er thy mammoth jag and then come here to hie and bray above the grave of fau Ophelia. Begone, dull knave! I bid thee tarry not, for at the postern thou wilt find thy quittance and thy salary. In riper years when thou do.Ht almost have a thought, in some short, lucid, bromideinterval, remember what the great and only Forrest told thee. [Curtain.] VALUE OF GßEAT MEN. Abou Ben Adhem Is Moved to Tell a Story with a MoraL BOtr BEN ADHEM, the magician, was Bitting under his own vine and fig-tree. in front of his tent in New Jersey, one bright morning in Ma5'. Abou was in an admirable frame of mind. He had killed two life insurance solicitors the day before— he had subscribed for the last book that had been put into the hands of canvassers, so he had a fair prospect for a quiet daj'. He was musing on life, and trying to solve that great problem, wherein ho was doing a most foolish thing, for Me is a riddle which will solve itself if you wait long enough. The solution can be hastened somewhat by late suppers and whiskj', but it will come to all, sooner or later, without these or any other aids. Wise as Abou was, it never occurred to him that if there be a future ho would know it in time, and if there should not be one the matter should not bother him much. In dwelling on this subject the summit of Abou's physical structure was not horizon- 'YOUNG MAX, GO HOME." tal. But all great men have their wetdi-nesses. The writer thereof presumes that a critical examination of himself would show sometrifling faults. But Abou's dream of an entirely quiet day was not to be realized. He was just smoking his second pipe when a young man, whoso intellectual face vvas overspread with deep concern, appeared to him. "What wouldstthoii with me?" said Abou, haughtily. "Speak, man, speak!" "Mighty -Abou, I need tliy help. I am dying, Egypt, dying. 1 have a cough which is tearing me to pieces, and I have also dyspepsia, liver complaint, with a few other diseases too tedious to mention, and they are all growing worse daily." "Hast tried the regular physicians?" "lhave." "The irregulars?" "Verily." "The patent medicines?" "All of them." "The I'etired physicians whose sands of life have nearlj'-run out?" "Yes." "Then go home in peace. If youhavetried all these and still live, I know of nothing that can kill you." "But, mighty Abou, I am dying nevertheless." "Well, why not die then, without bothering me? lam no balm in Gilead, nor am I a healing balsam. I have power, it is true." "Mighty Abou, I know ymi have, and that power exert for mo. I care not to live for myself, but for my fellows. I am the leading man in my native village. I edit the weekly paper—I am mayor—I run the church, and am president of the school board. If I should die. New Athens would go as straightTo ruin as a pigeon could fly. It would not survive me." Abou had him now. He had an opportunity to moralize, and in good square moralizing Abou was equaled by few and excelled by none. It was his best hold, and he never missed an opportunity. Bo he lighted a fresh pipe and went for the young man. "My young friend, you fancy that should you die New Athens would go to ruin. Listen. "Long ago, in the dim 3'ears before the flood, I was sailing on the Persian gulf in the staunch A 1 clipper ship, the Mary Ann. Suddenly there arose a terrible storm. The winds howled like an Irish riot, the lightning flashed with a vividness which was appalling, and tho thunders rolled as thougli the demons of the air were playing continuous games of ten-pms. It was a^ fearsome night. The darkness was so intense that the lights on tho headlands showed not, and we were pulling through it, helpless in the power of the tempest on a pitiless coast. The captain— Perkins was his name—had lost his reckoning, and the Mary Ann, nnconti-olled and uncontrollable, was speeding on to her doom. "Captain Perkins stood at his post calm and self-possessed. 'So long ez we hev sea. room,' said he in his marked Afghanistan dia^ct, 'so long ez we hev sea-room and kin keep shet uv the pesky rocks we're all right. The Mary Ann can't be swamped, nohow. But this is an ugly coast.' *'And Captain Perkins took a fresh chew of tobbaco, and peered anxiously into tho darlniess. "Just then the passengers began to learn of the danger they were in and came rushing up the aft-binnacle quarterdeck in wild confusion. " 'Captain,' shrieked one, 'save the vessel, save her. I am the editor of the Ispahan Morning Herald, which has tho largest circulation of any paper in Persia, li I perish the Herald perishes with me. Save me for the sake of Ispahan.' " 'Go to,' out spoke tho bold captain; 'you bet I'll save the vessel for my own sake. Bechesm on my head bo it. Rest easy.' '"Save the ship!' shrieked another. 'I am the Governor of a province. If I perish who shall rule iti Anarchy and confusion ensue and widespread woe follows. For the sake of the province, save the ship.' •"Save the ship!' shrieked a third. 'I am the president of the First National Bank of Ispahan; if I perish down goes tho bank.' '"Save the ship I'yelled a fourth. 'lam the president of the Cashmere aud Bulbnl Bailroad Company. If I go down who can manage that great corporation?' " 'Save the ship!' cried a fifth. 'I am prosident of the Everlasting Equal Benefit, Remunerative, Life and Trust Insurance Company. Who cao run that machine if I am taken?' "And these excited Orientals howled to the captain as to the terrible consequences of their untimely taking-off to that degree that they actually impressed mo. I felt ^t never vessel carried so much great* ness, and that if it should bo lost with its passenger.s, Fersi.i would be ruined. "The vessel was lost. The Mary Ann was on a dangerous coast. Captain Perkins went to his state-room to sleep, she struck and I was the oniy one saved. Thanks to my magic art and a hen-coop, 1 swam ashore safe but somewhat damp. I made my way to Ispahan, but I could not stay there. As these men had all p-jrisiied, I supposed, of course, that ruin, wide-spread, would ensue. I supposed the raid would—to use a vulgarism which Í det est—peg out, that the bank would (to use another) bust, that the railroad and insni ancc company would stop, and that a i-ebeiiidu would breakout in the provinces, and so before tho news got about I sold my propertvand came toNew Jersey. "My son, tjie moral is coming now, so wake up. I had been here six months when I got letters from Ispahan. There wasn't ruin to any alarming extent in Persia. A new Governor was appointed over tho jirovince and things v/ent on better than ever. Theris was less plundering than before, for the n(!W Governor was vigilant. He refused to let the moiubers of the Provincial Legislature vote themselves backpay and ho squciciied two credit mobiliers. The stockholders of tiie Herald elected a new editor aud tiie paper was better than ever. The new man Avas tlie first to introduce interviewin:^ into Ispahan, a'^d he organized an expedition to find Livingstone. The railroad compatti^ clectíid a now president, who put on palace and sleeping cars and actually made it pay a dividend; and as for tho bank, bless you, the drowned president was diminuì ivo tubers compared with his succcssor. Ho brought the concern to a smash-up in half the time it would have taken tho old one, which enabled tho stockholders to retire wit,h fortunes iu ii.iddle life. Tho new ]i!"e-insurancc president WJtfe avast impi-oveni'-'nt on the old one. He was a man of broad vicw.s. Ho devised tho brilliant idea of arming his solicitors with Derringer pistols-. "So you sec, jny friend, things went on tho better for iho "drowning of these important men. Indeed, 1 lie people of Ispahan swore that if they could bo sure of so great an improvement every time, they would like more shipi'.-rocks. "Young man, ,lío home. .If your life is of any use to yours 'lf, save it, Iiiit if you are trying to save it out of regard for your fellows, spare yot:r.self tlic trouble. There were men in Ne-.v Atlion.'i bcfoi-e your time and there will bi^ aftei-. Die, and in a week no one will I'eiJizc that .you are gone—in three weeks tiic few w'.io do rcmciuber the event will proba bly be giad of it, and wülbe sorry you did not die sooner. Go to, young man, go to." And Abou uinved him off liaughtily and went into his cinner. 1). R. Locke, in Toledo Blade. CLEARLY OUTCLASSED. The Inventor of th« O.-jnito Pnvemnnt Honored in Iiiforno. lEED, unearthly shapes, as if moved b y some resistless impulse to congregate at a common cen t er,hurried swiftly Through the snl-pliurous air that overb r.n g the bottomless pits and fiery hikes in the Region of Darkness. Wan, cadaverous, uneasy spccters, no., to the dread mysteries of Inferno, sido by side Avith the tough and hardened Olde.st Inhaiutants, whizzed horribly along, and tho grimy walls of Pandemonium ccliood presently to the discordant mui'muring and snarling of one of „he largest throngs tliat Iind ever gathered there. "lhave callcd you togetiier, my countrymen," said tho presiding officer of the infernal regions, "for the purpose of deciding a disputed point. A cii^.tcst has arisen," he continued, in a voicc that pierced the remotest cavern within tho vast inclosure, "as to which one of iVy faithfnlsuijjects can claim the honor ot having inflicted the most torture on hor.ses during his earthly existence. Tho contestnnts will now have an oppoi'tunlty to be hoard." "I was a country blacksmith for fifty-three years," called out one of the claimants, as ho inouuted the platform and looked complaccntlj- about. There was a murmur of applause, and a general shaking of heads, accompanied by whispered observations to tlic effect that his record would bo hard to boat. An uncanny specter, with a countenance that would h:iv3 broken tho strongest camera on the surface of the earth, came to the platform next. "I was a harness-maker," he said. "I invented the st iff bit." "I made the lirst p;iir of spurs," exclaimed the next candidate, as he elbowed the ex-haruess-makor off the stage. "Gi^mon!" saitl another claimant. "I set the fashion of cuttii-ig horses' tails off," •*AndI made tiic first machine for clipping them," announced another. The prcsidin g officcr checked the applause that followed, ihe assembly having seemed to be on the point of bestowing tho award on the last spealrer witliout further hearing. A hard-looking re.qident mounted the rostrum. "My friends," he said, "I made the first check-rein." In vain tho chairman attempted to silence the cheering of tho audience. It was only after some of i^hc noisiest of spirits near the door were thrown out and tho warning' given that the galleries would be cleared li! the offense were repoat#;d that order was restored. Suddenly a commanding voicc rang out: "I invented the barb wire fence." A deathlike st illness pervaded the cavernous place. With the conviction that no contestant would have tlio hardihood to dispute the clain» of tlie last speaker tho chairman half rose as if to announce that , the controversj' was at an end. At this moment a comparatively mild-looking and iLinpretentious shape took its place on the platform and looked timidly about. '•Speakout if you have any thing to sayl" said the presiding oflicer, almost contemptuously. »1—1 was the first raau that ever paved tbe streets ot a city with granite." Amid tho v.'ildcst and most tumultuous applause that had ever shaken the walls of Sheol's capitol tho Prince of Darlcness placed a crown of laurel on t he head of the nnpretpudiug goblin, shook his hand warmly, anu ,)rocl:iimed that tho contest was over.—Chicago Tribune. Another Trirst Sclinino. "I observe," said the tired-loolring man to the bar-keopc!r, "that they are organizing trusts all over the country." "Yes." "Now, there's no reason wlij' you and I should be lefr, out on all the benefits of suoh a system." "I don'twant tobe in it." , "But it's very feimplo." "What do you want, anyhow?" "I merely viant you to help me organize a little trust by which I can get a drink now and pay for i t in the indefinite future."— Merchant Traveler. s; ■ ''5 -it---- ;