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Washington Post, The (Newspaper) - July 20, 1913, Washington, District Of Columbia MAGAZINE SECTION v THEATRICAL ANNOUNCEMENTS. WASHINGTON: SUNDAY, JULY 20, 1913. Profiting by Mistakes of Her Previous Suitors, "Grizzy'' Thompson Wins the of Ml Bachelor Maids, and Proves That Love and Courtship Can Be Made "fOO Per Cent Efficient" "'Grizzy V trolley trips scored the hit which the Duke of Man- motor car tours missed." May Van A I en Who Lost the Heart Newport Thought She Never Had. BHOTO Vf U Mrs. David Dows, a Maids, Former Member of May Van Alen's Coterie of Bachelor Which Courtship Made Possible. 1 VAN A.I.BK -will never marry.' I TJ For years this has been J_ i society's favorite comment whenever the name of Miss Van Alen, daughter of James J "V an Alen and granddaughter of the. late Mrs Astor, was mentioned. The smart set long ago crowned her "queen of the bachelor and there seemed to be good reason for society's Dellef that she would continue to hold that title as long as she lived. It no lack of suitors which doomed Miss Van Alen to bachelor maidenhood Ever since she made her debut, seven- teen years ag-o, her heart has been the ohject of persistent attacks from a never- succession of men >oung and old rich and poor, Including all the desirable prospective husbands in Vmerlca and Europe, There has never a time when there was not at least one man keeping society on the qui vlve to know If he were really going to win Aliss Van Alen, and nearly always there were two or three spirited contests for her hand In progress at one and the same time Fortunes were spent in the effort to .n the fa'-or or this capricious queen artful method known to makmg was tried. -one lover even good his threat to commit suicide unless he could have but through all this Miss Van Alen remained as un- moved Gibraltar. One after another her suitors retired from the "lists tn despair leaving behind them a record o' blasted hopes long and varied enough to fuinlsh the heart interest for a dozen novels "May Van Alen -will never they all declared. "She has no heart." She Is "Dethroned." But now. like a thunder bott out of a cle ir comes the news that the 1 queen of the bachelor maids" is to be dethi that May Van Alen will realb marry' Her engagement to a baker s dozen of eligible men has-- been j umoi ed at frequent intervals during the past fifteen years, only to be promptly denied by her watchful father. In this case however, Mr Van Alen's formal announcement leaves no room for doubt that his daughter and Griswold Thomp- son once of Philadelphia, now of New- port and New York, are to be married 1 in September, If not sfooner. All of which proves that society has been wrong all these years in declaring Miss Van Alen heartless. The trouble has not been with her heart, which ia finite evidently a perfectly normal, warm- h ooded seat of emotions, but in the fact that never until now was it assailed in the n-rht When the right man ap- peai ed in tht person of Griswold Thomp- son and applied the right methods to his t jurtsh'p. Miss Van Alen capitulated quite as readily as if had been the man to court her. How did "Grfizy" Thompson do it' Hosv was he able to make May Van Alen love tjim when so many other ex- men bad failed' Here is the explanation the explana- t on that Is just beginning to dawn on t ne ist ones "GrizzyV Method of Courtship. Grizzv Thompson succeeded because fp had the intelligence to see that the science of efficiency can be applied to problems of the heart as weir as to the mo.e soi did affaiis of life Let us see just how he applied the principles of scientific management to the problem of winning .America's most famous baclvelo'' maid It was in the summer of 1911 that New- pott noticed the great friendship between Miss Van Alen and the good-looking straneer from Philadelphia, who was be- Int; sponsored by Mrs Adolf I Mrs Ladenburg arranged manj. intro- ductions for him, and Mr Thompson or 'Grizzj." as he be known, speed- ily made good wherever he went, but al- most from the first It waj plain that Miss Van Alen held for him more interest than any or tne otner society belles. Of course, there was nothing surprising in this It was generally considered im- possible for any man who wished to said tins they were no1 taking into eonsideiatiorv- "Grizzy's" le- mar'v.able efficiency They did not real- ize bow ingeniously he was going to ply the principles of this practical science to his courtship, or how shrewdly lie would profit by the mistakes of all the suitors who had preceded Mm. Jus-t what ia efficiency? Let Mr Thompson answer. "It Is getting what you want when you want it in the quick- est possible time and with the least pos- sible exertion." What "Grizzy" Thompson wanted was nothing less than the heart and hand of May Van part of thd problem was quite simple And the fact that Miss Van Alen's personal fortune runs high up into the millions probably did not damp- en the ambitious young Philadelphian's ardor one bit But how to make this woman love nim? How to win most quickly and easily the bachelor maid who had been rejecting millionaires, wine merchants, and popular club men long before "Grizzy's" high school-days were over. These were the problems which wrinkled Mr. Thompson's manly forehead for hours at a. time. "How did all these other fellows go about It-? What did they do that made their courtship end in Like a flash VGrizzy" realized that his "She refused 'Bunny' Hawkes in spite of expensive dinners, but she loved v'Grizzy' All the more when they went wading after a basket picnic >J "Kjf Thomp- per cent efficient" at love- fv "Other men had 'lavished expen- sive bon bons on efficient 'Grizzy' intro- duced her to the delicious lolly pops at a cent apiece." "Frankie Otis failed to win her with French novels, but 'Grizzy' helped his case immensely by reading the Sunday papers to her.1' chances of' success depended upon his ability to answer these questions. He forthwith determined to familiarize him- self with all the previpus courtships of Miss Van Alen and to tuin the mistakes of his predecessors to his own advan- tage. Her First Suitor. Of course, he already had quite a-smat- tering of knowledge of'this subject, for I no one can bev long In Newport without hearing a great deal about Miss Van Alen's numerous love affairs. Mr. Thomp- son, however, was determined to go about his task in a. thoroughly scientific way and to gather the required Information as far as possible from first-hand sources. To do this he had to become something of an antiquarian, for Miss Van Alen's first suitor, as nearly as Newport's oldest inhabitant can remember, entered the lists back in 1896, two years before the Span- ish-American, war. Harry Lehr -was this first suitor. He was backed by Mrs. Astor, and was a great favorite inv eould have been the reason why he failed to win Miss Van Alen? "Lehr was too feminine That was "Grizzy's" decision after gleaning all the information he could from Newporters old enough to travel back in memory to the gay summers of 1836, 1897, and 1898. Score one for efficiency! "Grizzy" Thompson promptly began (to make his masculinity as pronounced as possible. He wore only clothes that were rampant- ly mannish, he danced little, and studious- 1> avoided pleasing the ladies by retailing club scandals, as Lehr used to do. Soon he was pleased to note that the more he emphasized" the efficient side of his na- ture, the more his favor grew in Miss Van Alen's eyes. The Luckless Lavish Suitor. "Bunny" Hawkes was the next suitor to, claim "Grizzy's" attention. He had fol- lowed on the heels of 'Harry Lehr, and had squandered great sums of money in lavish entertainments for, her Some of the most costly and dinners ever glVen at Sherry's and Delmonlco's were arranged by him In her honor, and yet May Van Alen's rajection of "Bunny" Hawkes was as emphatic as it had m the case of Harry Lehr. said "Grizzy" Thompson, a great light beginning to dawn on him "She doesn't' like extravagance, I will be frugal and saving I'll buy sandwiches for her at the delicatessen shops and take her to luncheon at Childs' On second thought, however, this seemed a bit too crude, even for Mr. Thompson's efficient soul, and he com- promised by taking her to Bronx Park on picnics. When they were at New- port he gacve little parties for her on Kaston's Beach, where they ate their frugal food out a basket without the assistance of any flunkies or solemn-faced butlers After lunch they paddled barefooted In the fun! Efficiency scored again Just as It had in the first Instance. Mies Van Alen showed quite plainly that she liked these simple affairs far more than "Bunny" Hawkes' elaborate restaurant spreads And as "Grizzy" noted her sat- isfaction he became bolder, and" carried his suddenly acquired frugality to an even more close-listed extent. Several times he even pretended he had forgotten his money and made her produce her own purse and pay the car fare With all the care of the efficiency ex- pert he-was fast becoming "Grizzy" care- fully noted the effect of his unusual meth- ods upon Miss Van Alen. If It was not helping his cause. It was at least making her stop and think about him Having been courted all her life by men who showered her with money, Jier in- terest could not help being aroused by the novelty of a suitor whose pockets often lacked car fare. i Ralph Ranlett was the third in long list of Miss Van Alen'a suitors, whose mistakes taught he> latest lover how to make his courtship efficient. Champagne and the finest hothouse flow- ers were the high cards he had relied on to win his game, and he had lavished these on hter as omy a millionaire can "Grizzy" was quick to take his cue from the fact that all Ranlett's extrava- gance had ailed him nothing "No or- chids, no cold bottles of extra dry for me. said and, true to his word, he and Miss Van Alen became regular patrons of the soda fountains, where "Grizzy" frugally regaled her with nut sundaes and ice cream. The expensive florist shops knew him as a customer no more, and the only flowers he gave her were the wild ones which he gathered with his own hands. Trips on Ordinary Excursion Steamer. The wealthv Commodore Waters, of Bal- timore, Was another suitor whose final re- jection showed the inefficiency of ex- in courting a millionairess. When "Grizzy" found out that the com- modore had surfeited her with wonderful cruises on his palatial steam yacht, this apostle of efficient love-making began taking her to Coney Island and up the Hudson on ordinary excursion steamers To his great delight, this capricious New- port millionairess declared one day that she enjoyed these little trips far better than she ever had any of the cruises on Commodore .Waters' yacht. "At cried "I am on the right track. AH I need do is to the part of an ordinary clerk, and May Vlll wind up by.loving me." But "Grizzy" was too efficient a love- maker to risk ruining his chances 'by any display of overoonfldence. Although he began to see that he waa certainly mak- ing headway, he did up for a minute his exhaustive Investigation into tne experiences 6f Miss Van Alen's pre- vious suitors. Francis Otis and Gushing. Stetson, he had courted her at the same time, and had both trjed to travel the literary route to her affections. Stetson used to read her reams of his Jacket" stories, while Frankie Otis tried to win her with French novels But Miss Van Alen had quickly tired of this form of devotion, as the record of the past performances of Messrs Otis and Stetson shows Therefore "Grizzy" declared that literature bored him to death Instead of novels and poetry, he brought her armfuls of Sunday papers with their comic supplements and col- ored magazine sections A 1OO Per Cent Efficiency Lover. Long tours in his motor car had been a feature of the Duke of Manches- ter's unsuccessful courtship. "Me for the trolley said "Grizzy." and under his guidance Miss Van Alen soon became an enthusiastic trolley tripper. The sad tragedy of 1902 made a tre- mendous impression on "Grizzy" when he learned its details Robert Remington's engagement to Miss Van Alen had been considered a sure day came the rumor that It had been broken and then Remington shot himself "One man has died for said "Grizzy" grimly, "but I will show her that whether she loves me or not I will live and live with a smile on my face." Other men had given her expensive bon- bons, "Grizzy" taught her to like lolly- pops Others gave up thejr business hours to court her; "Grizzy" worked In his brokerage office from to 5 o'clock every business day Other men talked of herself, Grizzy" talked about him- self And "Grizzy" Thompson's efficient methods have at last made May Van AJen love him He has won the heiress, the mansion In Newport, and tha proud distinction of being a, "100 per cent efficient lover TORPEDOBOAT DESTROYERS OF FUTURE MAY RIVAL SCOUT CRUISERS CREATING a new power for na- val warfare, the torpedoboat destroyer, as a class of vessel by itself, came into being 30 years ago. The sneaky torpedoboats had been hailed by many as the last word in vessels for night attack, and speculation had it that the great modern wars on sea would resolve them- selves into a case of each side protecting its own fleet from daring little craft and at the same time hurting its own torpedoboats against the larger war vessels of the enemy. It was this condition of affairs which. led to the development of vessels of the of the British torpedoboat destroyer Hornet, launched in 1S93. The name tor- pedoboat destroyer, which explains it- self, was hit upon (because the new craft were really large torpedoboats swift enough and carrying sufficiently heavy armament to chase and destroy the to- pedoboats of the enemy. The displace- ment of the Hornet was 260 tons, and her engines developed horsepower, driving the vessel at a speed of 26 knots. She carried one 12-pound and three 6- pound rapid fire guns Other navies immediately began to "build similar vessels, and competition led to increase in size and power, until vessels of the Hornet class came to be really torpedoboats. while destroyers were built larger and larger and grad- ually took on the additional duties of scouts. Following the Hornet came the "30 knot" class, called because of the s-peed developeld. These little craft, built during 1894 and 1895, displaced from 265 to 365 tons, were equipped with engines and car- ried four 12-poand guns. In 1904 and 1905 .were built torpedo- boat destroyers known as the "river" class. In them speed was. sacrificed to a certain extent in the interest of pro- tection against wind and weather and against an enemy's shells. These sturdy vessels could be driven in fairly bad at 25 1-2 kpots, and they dis- placed 537 to 640 tons. They had bat- teries of four 12-pound guns and horsepdwer engines Even the "river" class, were 'consid- ered more effective for defense than for offense, for their radius of action was- somewhat and unless- condi- tions were favorable long sea tri-ps were not practicable. Wireless teleg- raphy was used successfully on the "river" type, and this was_ one im-< portant step which made the "ocean- going-" class feasible. According to the Sphere, which Is au- thority for these-facts, the vessels of the "oceangoing" class were built for the most part between 1907 and 1909. Their displacement ranged from 775 tons to 900 tons, and they attained of 33 knots, en by horsepower en- gines. Their armament was increased to five 12-pound guns, and 'some' carried two 4-inch guns. Since the days of the Hornet improve- ments inside the hulls of torpedoboat de- stroyers have kept pace with develop- rqents in armament and protective armor. The turbine engine has replaced the re- ciprocating engine, and has given way to oil as fuel. The first torpedoes used were '18-inch affairs, as compared with 21-inch torpedoes used today The little 6-pounders on the first destroyeis would look like popguns alongside of the j 4-inch rifles carried now Wireless teleg- j raphy was first used on torpedoboat de- stroyers of the "river" class, and since then the installations have been more powerful and more complete in each suc- ceeding cHass, In 1909 were built vessels which have been classified as "swift" They were equipped with engines generating horsepower, capable of driving the vessels at a speed of 36 knots. Their displacement was tons and their batteries were of four 4- m9h guns The vessels building now average about tons displacement and may be driven at a speed of 32 to 33 knots by horsepower engines. They carry batteries of 4-mch guns. It is conjectured that as the battle cruiser and the battleship have been com- bined In one type, so the destroyers may soon be amalgamated with the light scouting cruisers, taking on side armor, greater displacement and engine power, and becoming ever more weapons of offense. It is predicted by some that torpedoboat destroyers of the future may attain displacement and be able to steam at 36 knots. The batteries may include 4-mch and 6-inch guns, and the engines develop greater power than those of the earlier dreadnoughts. This may reasonably be expected to lead to a con- dition of naval warfare in which night attacking will be done by the submarines. NEAR IfUTUffe 500O 19J3 CRAFT BUILDING 12OO TOMS 23 OOO H P 1894-5 "3O KNOTCLASS TONS 6OOO HORSE POWER 3O KNOTS HORNET- 260 TOMS D1SPIACEMEHT HORSE POMtfER 26 KNOTS 1211x3- RIVERCLASS 700O HORSE POWER KNOTS GUNS' -4-12 IbGUNS OF THE OESTKOVER-, TWENTY "YEAR'S PEOCifcESS lEWSPAPER IV
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