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London Tatler (Newspaper) - January 30, 1710, London, Middlesex The TATL ER. By lfaac *B teller ft aff Efq: Hoc faciens flacidis occurram gratm Amicis* From Tuefday January 30. to Thurfday February 1. 1710. Sheer-Lane, January 31, TO reprefent Converfation in its true Light, and give fuch neceflary Hints as might conduce to its Improvement, has been one great End of thele Lucubrations. This is a Subject I have on all Occafions glanced upon, and endeavoured to advance with what Delicacy I could the Beauties and Advantages of it. But ftill the Art of converging agreeably feems to be as little underitood as ever. The only Thing which truly relifhes Life is loft to all its nobler Purpofes, and become little more than a Pandar to Vice, Intemperance, Vanity and Paflion. Free Converiation ought to be the Academy in which we fhould learn Knowledge and good Manners. We faould make our Families as it were our Tutors, and intermingle the Benefit of Inftrudtion with the Pleafure of Converting. Omne ttdit PanSlam qui mifctiit utile dulci. 4 He who joins that which is profitable to that 4 which is entertaining, is arrived at the Point of * Perfection. But among orher Reafons why we find fo very few Men whole Company is engaging, one is, that eager Foudneis- every Man feems to expreis for bis own darling Conceptions, without giving decent Attention to what others fay. The whole Streis and Bent is laid upon what we would offer; whereas our chief Endeavour fhould be to make pertinent Anfwers to what is propofed to us by the Reft of the Company. We aim only at the gaming of Applauie, when we fhould feek t� give Satisfaction ; and are ambitious of pleailng, when we ftould rather be deiirous of being plealed: But this is a wrong Method ; for, generally f peaking, Men have no great Inclination to admire, and will be lefs iatisfted with him who is zealous to fhewhis own Wit, than with him who gives them an Opportunity to exert theirs. In General, I would have a Man adapt himfelf with the utmoft Freedom and Eafe to the Humours of thofe with whom he converles. Let -him be grave and compofed before the Aged, gay and fprightly before the Young ; SubmifTlvenefs looks well in the Eyes of the Great, and Affability obliges all. But there is a very great Deference requifite to recommend ones (elf to the Women : Without it, 'twill be found impoflible to fupport the Character of a well bred Man; and as for the Fair and Young, nothing lefs than Adoration will ferve their Turn: By ,all Means pay your Worship and Devotion there, unlets you can fit down contented with the Reputation or a Clown. There is a Sort of magical Charm in this Accompli foment of Politeneis or good Breeding, which determines the World in Favour of a Man, and prepoiTeffes them with a good Opinion of him. Whatever a Man does or lays, who is Matter of this Art, carries a certain Plausibility along with it,and is received well j when bare Merit will be rejected, and other more iblid Qualifications prove but of imall Significancy ; fo power* ful is this one Thing, that it adds new Lurtre to Merit where it is, and gives the Outfide and Appearance of it where it is not. In a Word, chere is iomewhat peculiarly amiable in the Converiation of a Gentleman when he is finely bred : His Com-plaiiance is the Inlet by which he immediately enters into the iecret Confidence and Familiarity of Men. He is liked and approved of before enquired into, and fails into thole Advantages eJer well known, which others derive from a long Acquaintance and habitual Converiation. This Quality it is which makes Chilis pleafe Extempore, and become the Favourite of all he meets with. He is poiTefs'd of no one fhining Virtue, nor tindured with any egregious Vice: He is rather inorfenfive than entertaining, and more indebted to his good Humour than his Senle. He never fails of pleafing, becaufe he never fails of being pleafed: He (peaks an indifferent Thing with a much better Grace than many others would a good oiie .* He hhews Eloquence in his Behaviour, and gains more on the good Opinion of Mankind by his natural Agreeablenels, than one of ten Times the Merit can do by all acquired Endowments whatever. In a Word, not to love Civilis were to err againi* the known Rules of Gratitude and Morality : On the contrary, Morojus, with all the Advantages Wit and Learning can give a Man, is throughly diiagreeable. He has indeed intrinfick Value $ but then
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