New-York Tribune (Newspaper) - May 11, 1870, New York, New York SHEET PRICE FOUR CENTS AT LAST STATEMENT STOBT OT HER HARRIED TO FROM TO RICHARDSON'S OP KRR A D I feel that I cannot break the which I lave rigidly maintained saying a word as to the cause whi eh leads me to make a public statement I fully believe that any one of any de- gree of or delicacy will bear reproach and con- and even the vilest slanders in silence rather ilan drag out to public comment the most sacred details of his inner life and that only the meanest jool will babble of that which concerns itself most But during tho last six months and not a little during tho last three years I have been exposed io snch a storm of public opinion that all others I ever knew sink into insignificance beside it And now after I have waited in patience of newspapers of the public and of a New-York Court and Jury I have decided that I first and last word I shall over speak for for any attempt at my own vindication do I explanation But for the sake of the men and women who havo stood by me through all often without any explanation from me and always in tho full faith that I was most cruelly their sates and for his who lost hia life in my behalf I wish to tell tho story of my life When I was once advised to do so and a good woman said to me Do not be afraid to tell your story once to all tho world Tell it onco as you would tell it to your Maker and thon keep silence forever after And this ia what I mean to do to as exactly can the whole and simple truth to tho minutest detail reserving nothing and nothing In this I neither ask nor expect sympathy or justice from tho press or public I do not hope to convince any who are not already convinced I been most ungenerously traduced Once I havo believed of tho public press of America that it would bo only necessary for it to know tho truth to sneak it especially a woman was in- bitter experience haa taught me political personal malice and private are motives before which chivalry and pity and generosity or a desire to be true go to the wall So it is to my friends I write this To but very few of them have I ever told my story To a vury sacred few have my lips been unsealed And to tho host of generous men and known who have upborne me when the way was dark and hard for a woman's feet to above ail to the women brave and noble beyond ex- whose sympathy has forever refuted tho that women are not generous to one of own them I lay bare my heart Of all my wornm friends from earliest girlhood I know of not one who has fallen off from me in my great trouble Not a single one If it had not been for their un- swerving trust and love and sympathy for the readiness they have shown to help me bear up my heavy burdens for the bravery with which they have defended mo where it was a reproach to do if it not been for them I I should have been utterly crushed I have accepted their loving sympathy as the ono compensation for all tho un- speakable misery of my lot Having said thus much in my heart and could not be kept back 1 begin my story I married Daniel McFarland in 1 was a girl of 19 born in Massachusetts and educated in schools I had been a teacher and was beginning to write a little for tho press Daniel was an Irishman of 37 or S8 who had received a partial course at Dartmouth College and had seven years before I know him been admitted to the Massachusetts bar When I married biTn he represented himself to be a member of tho bar in Madison Wisconsin with a flourishing law practice brilliant political prospects and possessed of erty to the amount of to He also professed to be a num of temperate habits of the morals and previous to my marriage neither intemperate nor brutal nor Immediately after our wo made visits and then to Madison as I supposed to reside permanently were detained in during our very bridal tour whilo ho borrowed tho money to get back to the West After we had been in Madison a few weeks Mr informed mo that he was going to remove to York that all his property consisted of Wisconsin Slate lands to the amount of a good many thousand acres on which only a small amount per aero was Hid He told me that there were largo ties for trading lauds in New-York City and tbat ho was going to reside there ho disposed of them for real estate or personal property Ho told me at tho same time that he had no money except jast sufficient to pay our fares to tho East and that he had never had any law practice of consequence having devoted himself solely to land speculations in the West We came to New-York consequently in February I was token ill on the way with a violent cold and fever and we were detained in ton days On leaving Rochester he had to leave his watch and chain in pawn with the for onr board In New-York City ho kept mo three or four weeks and then taking all the jewelry Ihad to the pawnbroker's to pay the hoard he sent me home to my father's in I simply tell things to give some idea of how they must have effected a young girl fresh from a comfortable try home to whom a pawnbroker's shop was almost an unheard-of and not to convey tho idea that it was hia poverty which shocked or estranged me I went home then in less than three months after marriage He gave me no directions where to write him and for fourteen days I never heard from him Nearly beside myself from anxiety I went to Haven aud from thence telegraphed to a friend of his in New-York for news of bim He appeared in two or three days in answer to the telegram Then for the first timo I had a vague suspicion that he might he intemperate But I knew nothing about intemperance I had never in all my life seen a man except some accidental drunkard in the street and I tried to dismiss the suspicion In a week or two I again went back to my father's and remained through tho Summer of During this time he camo once or twice to visit me and seemed to be attached to me But during the short I lived with him I discovered that he was not although I had not then seen Mm grossly that he terribly profane in my Presence and that his temper very fitful and passionate and that for some slight or fancied causes he would become to me for a day or two I did not leave my father's rooi in the Pall of many givings bnt I was very young and very cheerful in and hoped for the test On returning to New-York Mr hired a in Brooklyn and furnished two or three For a few weeks I kept a servant bnt wise 1 lived an alone almost without acquaintances and entirely at this man's mercy Some of the time half of the vras good to me and Professed for me the most extravagant and ate devotion But he here first began to come home He would also come home sober ing with him bottles called Schiedam containing a quart or BO of vilo liquor and wonld put them by his bedside and drink sometimes yie before morning Whoa I the grossly intoxicated made lovelier and early m the Spring I went home again My baby died at my father's and was family my father bearing the funeral expenses In July of 59 1 returned agL to Sot Farland I remained with him this time about three hr able to be brutality and violence of Mr McFarland's temper I will not enter into tho details of Ms treatment of me during these three months but it was so bad that I back to my father's in October 1850 and re- mamed almost a year till August At this time m October 1859 when I returned home if I had had courage to have told my mother and father of mv troubled life I should probably never have returned to this man But I could not speak It was so hard a thing to tell My ideas of a wife's duty were most conservative I believed she should suffer almost unto death rather than resist tho laws of marriage I hud a conscience sensitive to any appeals against itself and I tried hard to love ray husband and vicco myself I was in the wrong Besides I was ex- in a few months tho birth of another child Ixo one shall say I mean this narrative as an appeal to sympathy but those who believe truth must see my case was hard and somewhat the suffering I endured In April 1800 my second child Percy was born home during these ten months Jlr land had represented to mo that he was doing ex- well in business and had made largo trades for real estate to the amount of many sand dollars Ouo of pieces of property was in and was mortgaged to Trinity Church for and afterward sold to recover judgment against him for Tho other property was in East near the river a block of ment houses which I am inclined to believe were mortgaged pretty nearly up to their wholo valus At all events I lived at my father's during year which ho describes as the year of his and did not share in it Part of this time for the first and only timo in my married lif o I paid a very small sum for my board which was all I over paid in my long and repeated visits to my father's house I mention Mr claims to have supported me while at my home Two of my dren were born at homo and tho expenses camo principally on my father although at the birth of my youngest child I paid my physician's myself with tho results of a public reading which I gave for that purpose In 1800 McFarland brought against him by somo one in Wisconsin for some money which was as I believe the borrowed capital with which bis Western lands Bad been chased This suit was decided against him by Judge Leonard of York city Whilo it was pending Mr McFarland ordered me to pack up my trunks and bo ready to leave the city us ho might at any time be arrested and prevented from leaving tho State So again in December 1800 I was sent back to my father's with my baby now sis months old Mr McFarland soon followed ino there and ho stayed till February when ho told mo again to got ready and go away with him Ho had at this timo which was tho largest amount of money I ever know him to hayo at any time and which ho said he had got from tho sale of a piece of property put out of his hands time judgment was obtained against him With ho started with myself and Percy for adelphia where he left mo saying ho was going on to Washington to seek office under Lincoln's ing administration In a few weeks he returned and told mo he was going West again as ho was pointed in his political expectation So we went West in the Spring of just as the Southern guns were opened on Fort Sumter We went back to Madison whore wo had lived previously took a small houso and went to housekeeping Wo lived hero a year and two months and this waa tho happiest timo of my life with him although I did my own work most of the time and took caro of my baby But I was so thoroughly weary of the terrible bondish life I had always lived with this man that under almost any condition a homo I could call mine seemed delightful to me Mr McFarland never did any work while in Madison or earned any money I lived with extreme economy and he had or left when ho reached Madison which with the addition of or more which he received from tho sale of a tract of land which he owned somewhere bought tho furniture for our little house and supported ns for tho 14 months wo lived there At the expiration of this timo Mr bo- can to grow more and more moroso and ill-tempered and told me he was trotting out of money and had gettme anv He endeavored to got a lic office or some kind in Madison but was not ed even by those 011 whom he counted as his friends I had attracted some attention in private circles by my reading and had given a public reading for the of a hospital On this Mr McFarland posed to me that ho should take me to IS and have me fitted for the stage in tho profession of an ress He also announced that he should adopt tho profession of an actor in case my success became assured Ho had been at some time a teacher of tion in a military school in Maryland and he began training me in the reading of stage parts 1861 he sold all our furniture in Madison and brought me East first going to my fathers in to learo my Percy could devote all my tame to stage He secret of this to my parents who not approve of this step on his part but did not inter- pose on the conservative Puritan ground that erven parents have no to interfere in the of husband and went to ing first on and afterward Mrs Oliver at BS the same vicinity As soon as we were settled in the first of the Mr McFarland began the stage which I may say here was the first and only instructaon: of whatsoever he ever gave me r and he also sent me to take lessons of Geo for- the bea not care for an wore the hist jewels I gold ring which is the at No 53 We occupied the only sleeping apartment on the parlor floor and he could scope to his furies without fear of being I was dl tbo time working hard to study for tho for which he had designed me andito what to ou M He W have ono master and again again to T tYi L A public my prudence protected ill temper which I feared waa soon coming He around and struck blow across my face which made mo reel backward Although he had ens me flts of an American woman does not easily f a blow hko that At all events I him without raising my voice J shall never be able to forgive an and I I never could forgive it From that time I took an entirely course with him when in these furies I had shed a great many tears his cruelty had toed to reason with Mm had tried entreaties and persuasions After this he was in Jus he himself called never moved or spoke bnt as as I could I sat quiet always keeping my eye on him because I always fancied as long as I looked steadily at him ho would not do me any mortal lence And I believe now as I believed then that my life has been saved by tins silence and trol lie has sometimes approached me with hia hands extended the angers bent liko claws as if he wero about to clutch my throat and cried Howl should like to strangle Or your life is bound somo time to end in tragedy Or vour blood mil be on your own and has as I think been restrained because I simply looked at him without saying a word In furies ho would often seize and break anything which was at glasses rors and sometimes the heavier furniture of tho room Often he would from bed in these attacks of passion tearing away all the clothing tearing in shreds his own throwing anything lie could find which was able crashing about the room till seemed to me as if there could bo no Pandemonium worse than that in which I lived And all this be would do without explanation or even a pretext for complaint against mo and when I knew no more what excited his than a babe unborn Ho would sometimes keep np this conduct and this abuse for hours without a syllable or a motion being made on my part and would thon burst into tears beg my pardon say I was tho best woman who ever lived and then go to sleep exhausted I never told him after this W inter that I could forgive or could lovo Mm although he sometimes implored me to do so could not say so with truth Generally I told Mm him waa true Sometimes ho said Your silence irritates mo more than if you but I was sure my course was the best At tho struck me this severe blow in I told Mrs John F Cleveland a sister of ilr who had been very kind to mo in my dramatic about tho blow and of Mr land's conduct to me I did not tell her all nor the worst but I told her had struck me principally because I was engaged to read at the house of some f of an evening or two after and I feared she would notice the mark on my face She was the only person to whom I over spoke of Mr McFarland otherwise in a manner for a wife to speak of a husband till tho Winter of 1807 And I devoted nil niy woman's skill and tact iu hiding his conduct from at our or elsewhere In ilio Spring of 1803 Mr appointed to a position in the office of ono of tho Marshals under the Enrollment act I wont to see Mr Greeley in company with his sister Mrs land and also to see several other persons te got for Mr McFarland In doing so I acted under Mr orders and against my own feelings always revolted at the idea of ing for him though ho noyer scrupled to use my efforts As soon as he got this office I ceased my reading in public and my preparations for the stage and in tho Spring of tor he waa appointed wont homo to my fathers and remained a short time Thon summoned mo to New-York with Percy who was ill at the timo and hardly ablo to travel I ob- to leaving homo he sent peremptorily saying ho would burn my father's house over my if I did not come I arrived in New-York in August and was there a few weeks when tho cian said Percy would die if he wero not sent bock to the country and I again returned to my father and staved till November In November came bock to New-York Wo took room for a few weeks on but soon removed early in January to No 16 West During tho Winter of and 1863 I hod met Mrs Sinclair at her cousin's Mrs Cleveland's and she had shown me many and great kindnesses She had given me her parlors for one of my readings and had sold the tickets among my friends At the timo Mr McFarland received his appointment in the she hor influence and her husband's to get No person living lias a stronger claim on the gratitude of this unhappy man tuan the noble woman whoso charity he has so abused In this Winter of 1863 and while we lived in we were Mr Sinclair's neighbors One night while there Mr came home so bruised and bleeding from somo street not uncommon occurrence on his I obliged to call on Mr Sinclair for hind in hia room for more than a week carrying his meals to Iiim myself that his might not be seen and on by tho household where we boarded From the time he got his place in the Enrollment Office in 63 until the Fall of Mr sent me homo throe times and moved mo to eight If for ono moment I was ful in tie possession of a shelter his habits or his dissatisfied temper drove him to change At last in tho Fall of Mr Sinclair offered free on the Hudson Elver and we moved there for the Winter of During m v boy Danny had been born on one of my visits tomy father's house I stayed at Croton in Sinclair's house all Winter and during mer in a amall tenement which we rented there and which very cheaply with borrowed bv Mr McFarland from my father Here Mr conduct was more endurable for he waa away nearly all day and the quiet and of the country when he camo there I fancied had a good on him In the Summer of 60 however fie lost his place under Government and seemed to make no further attempt to do anything He in- formed mo one day that ho was out of a and had no Then I told him I supposed I should have to give public readings As usual I made such suggestions he swore at ms in his way but made no other answer J went on ana made my arrangements to give dramatic veral before leaving Croton and of the money I had raised I went had now moved to Massachusetts his house went away to give several readings m leaving the children witn this the physician who at- at birth now 18 months old Which wn iul Percy's Tear of the Summer half of the time coming home intoxicated and I had noting but my woman's heart and hands to loot to the readings I did an my own housework home i took ful care of mv children but I often sank into such of heart as only God knows and am pity when he sees tho poor human soul sinking of these days Mrs Sinclair came in I had never said a void toiler about jay she boot too delicate she liad gone I found a came from her m- comfort and plenty ran some oi the proudest blood t one of my kin had overtaken alms I some at the money gent ire with want at but the I sold all ora wrth borrowed father and of comfort had Bom my home and with the proceeds of the sales I back the money to Mrs tollins her I could not yet receive alma from my But her indefatigable friendship did not cease here and she sent me back much of it in clothes and other necessaries Then in April 1866 she and some other friends arranged a reading at Steinway's Booms on of the more than VHr McFarland in his usual violent for giving this public reading at Steinway's He argued that if I wanted to read I had better of town to do so that it disgraced as a man in the eyes of the public for his wife to read in a city where he had acquaintances He made this an excuse for getting grossly intoxicated on the evening of the reading and of this collected the the gave me out of whole amount to pay my fore and tie children's to my in Massachusetts reserving the rest for his own uses IT May 1866 came on to my father's bringing with him in money He had got this money from a wealthy owner of oil lands in sylvania residing in New-York City whose name I do not like to by threatening to for some irregularity iu paying his income tar Air McFarland told me this man had given him the money if he would not trouble him further He also told me that he had several other men under his thumb in the same way The manner of this money was inexpressibly shocking to me and J told him so and then I told nim that I should try and make arrangements to go on stage in the Jb alL that I could not try another Winter of public a profession so precarious and so wearing and advised him since he had some I thought dishonorably should go into business at once before he spent it He answered in hia usual brutal and I more about it It was agreed that I should go to a in the White Mountains where I knew Mra Oliver going to spend the Summer and that ho should pay my board was to be very cheap and the children In June went from my father's with the ren to N H among the mountains I remained there During Summer he sent me in a check signed by Mr Sinclair and I had on ho had given mo making in all with which I paid my board and washing bills for myself and the children during my four months stay in Shelburne In tember Air McFarland came up to self instead of waiting forme at my father's as T had He had told me little or nothing oj his financial condition or prospects during tho mer and I hod written advising him of various plans for earning his living In the Fall ho told mo that he had got out of money and was going into some kind of patent gas company which I did not under- stand fully and was going to make his fortune Ho paid my faro to Boston and then told mo ho was out of money and asked me to go to H 0 Houghton whom he knew were going to print my little book that Fall and see get some money I did do this and got while in Boston whore I stayed nearly a week Mr McFarland's niece a daughter of his brother Owen had been at the White Mountains with mo and was wifch me in Boston After getting tbo money from Mr Houghton I gave half of it and with went with Miss Mary McFarland to Newark whore her father lived Owen McFarland was worse if possible in his fits of intemperance than his I stayed there three weeks in would baffle description often iu daily or nightly fear of my lif e from this terrible roadman all of whose family held in most supreme fear While here in the Winter of I had met Mra L G Calhoun and ing this Summer at Shelburne I had cor- responded with her I have been most fortunate in my friendships but I never know any woman more loyal to more overflowing with derness more ready with helpful sympathy thun site My whole nature usually reticent went out to her in confidence and friendship and I had written from the Mountains asking her aid in getting an ment ou tho stage She had succeeded in arranging an engagement at Winter Gordon tho theater which Mr Edwin Booth controlled and o place which wo both considered particularly fortunate for a lady to be connected with on account of Mr Booth's tion as a gentleman jin private life as well as his eminence in his profession This Fall of while at Newark I saw tho ager of Winter Garden and my engagement was made certain at a salary of per week I wrote to Mr who still remained behind in Massachusetts and and also wrote him that I could not and should not stay longer at his brother's Ho come down to New-York shortly after this borrowing money in small sums of my father to pay his expenses back and took me from his brothers and to a wretched in near Hero he borrowed some money of Mr Sinclair and gave me which the last money I ever received from him This was in October He left me at this houso informing mo that he should probably not be back very of tho time during this Winter Then I was so worn out by the anxieties and terriblo weeks I hod spent at Newark that I broke down and was ill at this strange alone with my two babies While here Mrs houn called and found me in this condition and going home she wrote a note in which told me in tho most delicate manner I wanted money her purse was at my service The Borne day Mrs Sinclair called and shocked at tho wretched and condition in which me took me and both my children to her house As soon as I waa there and had begun to recover Mr came back and made his preparations to also Aa gently aa I could I told him Mr Sinclair's house was and if he wore coming back to town I must got a place somewhere for all of ua It was then about two weeks before my engagement began at Winter Gordon Mr McFarland instructed mo that I might get board for myself the dren but only occasional board for himself as he should be absent about tho gas business most of tho time I then engaged board in in a very respectable house where I bad a small room for all my family Aa soon as I got here my health again gave way and I was ill in bed nearly two weeks It was only by shoer force of will that I got up from bed and dragged myself to tlie theater to begin my engagement During these two weeks illness Mrs Sinclair and Mrs Calhoun visited and to me Both of them sent mo nourishing food from their own by their own servants They sent me money and gave me the sympathy that woman over gave to woman I hod already got an engagement to write for The Riverside Magazine and one day during this illness when Mrs Calhoun found me Bitting up in and ex- hausted finishing a child's story with my two noisy little children playing at my bedside took it away and interested the managing editor of The In- dependent in my work so that he sent mo word ho would take some of my for hia paper As soon as I went on the stage this waa the of November 1866 I told the woman in houso I had been boarding about three Keeks of my new profession She immediately told she could not possibly have an actress in and I must get a new place as soon as convenient As quickly as I could I found a new place at No 86 I went to No 86 about 18th or 17th of December 1866 On tho 20th oik December I had an engagement to read at Salem if before the ceum Lecture Course My had that if I would bring on one of she children she would take him and take care at Mm for an indefinite period because she feared I had too much to do with the two children and all my other duties So I eluded to toko the youngest child Danny to my own home on this journey to played at the theater the night before starting for and waa obliged to sit up night to get child ready 1 o'clock in the came home in a state of beastly tion He past talking taen hct toward daylight I setting take the morning for roused him and told Mm I had been intending to take but now I thought I would take the and leave them mother tin I eoold better come back and separate entirely that I as I was hia habits any longer On this he great tence him onoe more Said would do better if I would give Mm this one 1 did him :bnt I- hardly knew what to went oft Danny to mv mother's in Salem returning New-York and going to the theater the same evening At New I foolishly allowed McFarland two weeks salary been lying over because the money I- had earned at Salem paid the necessary and he went again and got remained so for two or three days At time I made up my mind I would do thing Ou afternoon of January 21 wrote a long letter to to whom in all of my quaintance I had never spoken of McFarland except incidentally telling her some of my troubles In letter much it cost ma jam and humiliation because ment were natural difficult to glazed over some pi the worst 1 concealed the fact of his hopeless intemperance and I aU the and justice in my ture to speak most gently impartially at this man The following ia the copy of the first confidence I ever made to this loyal friend of my and struggled i XT jam seated ox you some things never told any one bat kept ana brooded over seem to eat cot m heart and my life nay I was miserably all toe of tlie day Yesterday morning after Iliad pot all ready to Sinclair's after Iliad Mused Percy Goodi had my my arms ready to take them over some little Impatient words I raid Irritated Mr who ia very and It arose from my Mm to me eome of my and Ms resenting It and getting a little bit angry I much as I hear women every day say to their ita being remembered on side I not have remembered it one Instant but hs does and I away without smoothing out the It perhaps a little bat I got to tired oJC constantly smoothing and coaxing But all day I wae nervous he did not call with aa be liad imd I was very I could not got away la the without stowing how uneasy I so I stayed hen I home I found Percy in bed bugging o lie nad rot himself After an hour or two of agonizing for maps and to near arc only a few of 01 I have spent came in two-thirds intoxicated and very morose I asked wny ne could BO spoil my day and oanae me no un- and tbat I liad treated Mm and be should spend toe ae ho chose Two weeks of the Tuesday before I went to Salem to read you got utterly dis- and I said something not reproachful to ME McFailand about my feelings One cannot always keep you know There was no between us only when I HnV a in nope lie in That night ne did not home to dinner and I was obliged to leave my babies when I went to tho theater and alone All tho evening I was burning to got homo Ho did not como for mo went home alone after I got through tlie play I found in a beastly slumber from which I could not rouse him ho had been drinking all day I was to start that next morning for and it made me almost crazy morning ho was in sackcloth and ashes for Ms duct He wopt and begged me to forgive tell my father and mother aud aworo ho would before me by a different life this year Dear I try to write these coldly ana cally 1 want to do so so aa not to bo unjust but I muse write you I must let you know something of my inner lifo and of the struggles that no can see or I shall dio You know my darling when I was married I had not much experience of lifo or judgment of character Hr McFarland asked mo to marry him I said without proper deliberation I was not in love wich any ono else everybody got married I thought aud I never questioned whether I waa sufficiently in love or not I was and did not reason After 1 was married and began to know Mr I found him radical to the extreme in an Ms ideas Ho seemed to havo many heartfelt of and lovely traits of character He had beautiful theories and he he acted on them when lie did not and cruelly to me and my motives Ho was madly jealous of me from Jealousy which to mo to havo its root in a radical of confluence In tue A bachelor experience had mado him believe women were not always I think but to mo who was chaste aa ice and pure as snow if ever women wore chaste those things were outrages They the first blow at tho tenderness I folt for him which might have ripened into a real I have no doubt This was too second was the discovery that if anything annoyed him if I was impatient or a little croas as I all are at and I know my temper ia naturally or if business cares oppressed or a hundred might trouble ono thon as a refuge from any of these he would drink liquor and como homo under its I waa bred in the idea of and this waa to me a vice odious than I can speak I had for it little compassion When Jtr came home thus I loathed him with ing and disgust I waa living when this first happened In Brooklyn I had not a single intimate friend in either citr I had no ono to speak with from and I was pregnant with baby which nio verr nervous aud easily What I suffered that first year God only knows what I many dred since Ho only knows but it is to tell you that in a year the possibility of over was utterly extinguished This Is an awful tiling to say To drag out for eight or ten years on existence with a man nature overflowed with passion by turn adored and and who wanted to absorb both body aud soul and to feel nothing but a of pity I want to do Mr McFarland justice ana I pity him more than I pity myself His his are worse perhaps Ho had noble theories anil not strength enough to realize them Tho mistakes that ho em- bittered aud still embitter him He meant his lifo to bo noble and it is a failure I am glad to say that for last years ho haa ceased to bo of nio or of my feeling toward any man I should never be anything but a chaste woman la my relations with men but hia fooling hue made mo than prudent and I havo been always reserved I have never had any sentiments so warm aa friendship for other men and my actions would bear the most Jealous scrutiny After hia business become hopelessly entangled tMs was tn tho third year of our he insulted on returning he had formerly lived We stayed there for a tune and came back here again The first year after our return homo from the West before ho took tho position in tho Marshal's office his habits were again bad and ho drank in a way in which none of my friends trusted it Ho would go out evenings and spend thorn in low barrooms and homo at 2 or 3 o'clock in tho morning with liquor Throo times ho has come home beaten and bruised ho is drunk all tho food in him ia turned to evil ho is simply and truly a ona hi his temper in liin beat moments he has then boon ru Sly darling I and nights In scones before tragedy grows no words to speak of them I havo tried and do try to do my duty I havo the most sincere pity for this unfortunate man my heart bleeds for him I try knows te be ua patient aa I can With all my troubles my lifo is not aa unhappy aa his My heart and soul are my own ho cannot touch them I pity him but I do not love mm enough to lot Mm wound me to tho 1 don't know what to course to tako I want to be advised I have written those wild worda know since writing is not my natural method of get somo of this weight off mo and I have tried to write justly I know I must in soino way protect myself from Mr mode of any careless word upon me I have made up my mind to-day to toll the Sinclairs that I fear tho of his habits I dread my f uturo so much and I havo my babies te think of beside Yesterday he drew two weeks of my salary at tlie theater and paid the week's board aud I fear spend a good deal of the money wo so much in liquor Don't come to me after reading this I fear I shall re- pent writing it Yours always P went down to breakfast and left him in bod camo up ho was I shall bo till The evening after I thus wrote her Mr not coming homo I went to Mrs Sinclair's before going the theater and told her what great distress i waa in She then told me she had been herself to Mr McElrath who was a friend of Mr Sinclair's and had asked him for a place for Mr in tho and ho had promised to give him ono she added ho gets drunk I can't ask Mr Sinclair to recommend him because Mr McElrath will not eivo a mau of such habits a place I then implored her to say nothing about it he must get the place else I should not know what do with him and she promised to say ing of it unless something more was done ou Mr part Within a lew days after the 1st of January 1867 I found the at No 86 for various reasons and removed to No 72 taking tho bock parlor and for my rooms and preparing our meals for myself Percy and Mr MeFarland The rooms were very able and I rented them from a Mrs Mason who self rented half of these rooms somewhere in the first or second week in January I had not money to move from Che other glace and on Mr McFarland of the fact me he should think I would borrow it from Mrs Calhoon as she and I wentto her and borrowed in addition to other sums received from her before going to this boose at No 72 At this new place besides going nightly to perform my part at the Winter Garden during all of spare moments being then write regularly for and the of The Independent and en- to do work for other papers and I also did all the cooking for three poisons a large part of the washing and ironing and all the mending for my family Consequently I little time anything but work last of January or first of February Mir lodge at this there because a good room vacant there and he was obliged to move his lodgings which were in and lie told me that he aid not move very far aa he expected to leave the oh came tothe see which the first time he ever called oil me or thai I ever saw any had before inet him occasionally at Mrs Sinclair's where he vraa a frequent visitor and at where he had been an of her mother's family the of February Mrs Sinclair and Mrs were going to Washington Just before ing Mr nod a terrible and unusually gerous attack of rage of which I told Mrs Calhoun She said she was afraid to go away and leave me with that mau for fear he would kill me and asked if she might tell some of our friends about his con- duct BO that we could have some advice in the ter before she but I felt as it I conM to android her do Mr Oliver Johnaon told she did speak to himself her great anxiety for me her fear tnat Mr McFarland would me in of taM Knd Mrs closely than ever to my in the same house He i had days perhaps of the of Mr MdFarland eame in from ie had been employed since the 1st ol February as clerk in him the influence of the I Gie front hall and he just handing me some manuscripts which he had offered to lend me to mafco noe of 2 I m some Mr used aa and at time as at all parts of the he had bim a a and an artist who in Ins When Mr McFarland came in he my Mr Richardson's room to which I replied that I had not been in was not m the habit of going and even iE I had been in there it WES not a private room but an office in tbe flus the matter dropped supposed this all of it but in a few moments Mr to say something again oa saw he was hi ill humor and I supposed he wished to make anything the pretext for one of his and I said little or nothing From tiis he himself up into a great I left him to go to my necessary work the theater Ee continued in this rage through the night and I spent a terriblo night with him All tho nokt day the ho remained at home abusing and tormenting mo Ho me sions which I never could forgive or endure and still harping fact of my being at Mr room asked me before who was oil the tune Did Mr ever Mas you V Have you ever been in his alone with him J and others which I insulting and donable He was the influence of liquor all day re- maining at home and going out every little while to the nearest to aud then coming in still more furious At huit ho declared he waa willing to be separated from mo and that I might go homo to my father's and leave When I assented to this he wanted to bring in of my to talk tho matter over before them but I refused to tako counsel from any ono till my father be sent for And I only prevented him from put and calling in some of niy friends by ing to him that he wna thou so intoxicated that hia cause would be prejudiced by that fact On tho evening of tho 20th before going to tho theater I secreted his razors his my scissors and all articles I considered I frequently did on such left him home he waa still Ho had made threats of committals suicide of- tou going out of doors with that On this occasion about midnight ho bado me an solemn and told mo that this destroy Hd had done this so many that I said nothing and made no to detain him Ab the door ho and asked if I hivd nothing to say in this lasfc parting I said I can only say that I am lessly sorry for yon He went out and in a few minutes returned as I knew he and sobered by tho cold and thon it being as mildly and as I posailtly could I boran to talk Mm I told him decidedly that I should him forever that I had borno witli patience for many years great outrages him that he had made my lifo aud had put me in great dread of niy lifo that I could not endure it any longer thut by his outrageous conduct for the two days past aud by the ho hud used when he found mo at Mr door ho had added last drop to iny cup of anco and I should go away from hini at once On this he groveled at my feet in tho most abject teuce Ho wopt and sobbed aud begged me to for- give liim confessed that ho had wronged mo that uo woman would havo with him as I done and about daylight went Tho next morning not allude to my purpose but lifter seeing him the for Sir I wont to Sir uad myself under tlie protection of his rooft and never Mr except or in tho presence of ant in AKD ins MY CASK Tip to tho timo of hia coming to room ut tho same house in my acquaintance with Mr bad been very slight and formal frequent ut tho houso of two of my most mate Sinclair and Sirs mother's ho had boon an inmate after his return from prison and ho like a sou and a brother I mot him thero quite often but on- very terms At the time oil tho 1st of De- cember when I was obliged to tho place hi because the keeper re- fused to keep any one of tho an actress iu her house I spoke of thia to the family at Mrs when we were all at the tablo and Mr was present They all indignant and Mr tho friendliness and were his proposed that I advertise for a Ho also said that at the ho lodged wore Bomo vacant rooms and that if I wore to look at thorn and liked them ho spoak to the landlady of my profession and ho thought she would not object to it On I called day at tho house Mr ardson lodged looked at ilio vacant rooms and saw him ac tho time for a moment in hall Tho were too for nio and I took lodgings at that timo No SO Shortly after about thu last of Mr fancied Mr aonio in tho mo call on him to nak for bis aid in getting a as clerk or something of that kind ou that He liad not then received the promised for him in Hr department at These wore the two occasions ou 1 was at tho where Mr lived In the course of these mattore ho sent mo notes ono of them presented result These notes wwo aD written by Mr stenographer all ot them unsealed They related to the favor I asked of Mr Mr tion and this was the extent of my with Mr up to January 20 After I removed 72 Mr son being suddenly to chango bia and knowing living nearly in tha same with to Bee if ho could get rooins there I introduced him to Mrs Mason tha woman that had no or influence in getting him installed them Mrs Mason who is an Irish and in with Mr McParland in th is case mada 1 auy tako a erroneous about Mr coming tii tako a room so near Mr McFarland and myself it ono of sion from the that ho not be there out knowing something of mv unhappy life felb keenly that a would pain and me But I conld control the event and about a month before I finally left Mr Mr had come to lodge J him often aud he did me many kindnesses very well ho me lie thought I waa overworked aud not very happy His ol me was always most respectful and reserved was never prior to leaving Mr McFarland a word or even a look passed between us which J should not bo glad now it all the world had soen and heard He called sometimes at my room which waa next his but from its situation and the fact that it my parlor and in one it was in no sense a private room My boy who waa then seven years old was always with me and Mr Richardson's calls were made usually in the afternoon about the time he got through work andi oftener after Mr got homo from down town This is the exact and statement of my acquaintance with Mr up to the time or mv separation from Mr McFarland The afternoon or night of the 20th of February Mr McFarland was in bin worst rage I wrote in at the theater a letter to Mrs clair and Mrs Calhoun then in Washington telling them was suffering safety that if Mr McFarland should murder mem some of his it was right that they should know the very worst and I was frank to the They that letter on the instant noble and womanly letters which havo already been produced in print as evidence of their con- to take a devoted wife from a loving and husband i On the last night of my life with Mr the night of the 20th of February it happened an was not usual that Mr Richardson was in room the whole evening He almost always spent his evenings at Mrs Gilbert's which was hia in New-York and where he was loved He since told ine that he heard the greater jarfe of what had passed that night as was un- avoidable from the position of his room and that feared he might be obliged to cull help or himself interfere in my behalf against Mr lence The next day when 1 left my rooms to to Mr Sinclairs I found Mr Richardson there when I entered No one else was present but Miss Perry Mrs Sinclair's older sister under ordinary circum- stances I should have controlled myself until I Bee me Miss alone but worn ont as I wau by the and of tlie lost two days and tho fact that I had still been m keep at work at home and at the I broke down and
