Cambridge City Tribune, The (Newspaper) - August 22, 1889, Cambridge City, Indiana HAT AILS YOU Do you Mite lew and indescribably miserable both and mentally ft fullness or bloating or of frpno nceB or emptiness stomach in tho morn ing coated bitter or bad taste i in mouth frequent headaches blurred eyesight floating boforc tho eyes i prostration or ox i of temper hot flushes harp feet drowsiness after ulness and Bleep constant alternating with chilly sensations sharp biting transient hero mid tin indescribable feeling Ing calamity of dread or of ft you havo all or any mininer of uro moat common of Billous Torpid with or I Indigestion llo moro complicated your c become tho the number und diversity of synm No mutter it Dr Medical Discovery will it if tilkon according to tions for u of H not clivod multiply tion of tho Skin Heart Disease Kidney or krayo uro quite liable to net in und or Inter n Dr nets powerfully upon tho Liver and that blood organ tho of nil Mood and lui Ha Ih acting upon tho Kid neys iml excretory cleansing their AS nn ton c it promo ca and nutrition thereby up both flesh and Ini malarial this wonderful medicino HUB celebrity in Favor and A juo Chills and Dumb to In it in or tho for itl will be tho mon Dr I Dr ALL i from n common 01 worst Sculy or Skill iu all Eruption to tho il uro by this modi nuu r rmiT rn KycH Disease or K tun In witn colored M IS THE LIFE I bv fuir akin spirits vital und bodily will bo established caused by ha powerful its II and u plates ior fH FOR THE iH mod leal c by tlin pi tho Ior Weak remedy If taken In tho of blood Short ness of In ho Bronchitis Asthma anU Kin dred directions it ia itu remedy Sold by at or Six for i fir Send ton contain for Dr book on Consumption Address Worlds Dispensary Medical Association BUFFALO That fa Bla iket is a dandy from your dealer freo the Book It has handsome pictures and valuable information about horeca Two or dollars for a Horse Blanket will inaki your worth more aud ent leas to keep warm Five Mile Boss Stable Electric Extra Test other styles every body If you cant fioul volli dealer write ARE HONE bv A LA P f vr An Upon by m tlm A letter of rest to ever jr reader of Dickons J M B in tho Newcastle Chronicle in which had to an article which a pts lUa cotre u a of the n ard Castle ills k ft study in run truth of two very decent people sent them to their crave before their time The bopk as far as the How Compositor Spoiled No said Mark Twain a week or two ago as he sut iu his room at the WW I I TT i I 11 aimed at was con cerned was a terrible libel Iu tho second edition Dickons protests that ho meant no particular school amsa with outsiders but those who know the district aro aware that like Dickons picture of the school and like his letters about the Thomas hia protest lies on the side of truth Any ouo over 50 who has road tho book and who knows the district can seo a dozen in the novel pointing nt one school says Dickons had only ouo eye This alone would show who was meant as there was only ono schoolmaster near Greta Bridge who had only ono eye Tho blow aimed so meanly was tho outcome of spite and fun for Dickons would have his laugh if his best friend had died for it The proto type of gave great offense to H K Brown aud Dickens by his bearing when they invaded his School For this he was deprived of and or his life No over done than this by any literary writer of v of tho school was as far from fUe truth as it well be novel Nicholas was the usher Tho school about forty scholars They and formed picture was made to yuo aud wera fewer than J feeding Iho boys on Unit had died a natural death farce i those and ipf other novel wore simply iso many artistic untruths I havo heard Miv tell otc he used to supply for boy con sumption My lived know the well 1 have talked to him many an hour about aud his indig nation at tuu pervasion of fact by Dick ons was ono ugh to bo almost He used to describe the scholars as perfectly healthy young they thought know thu of hood His of tho master that ho was a Id low just a shade hasty in bis tem per ami not by any means the man to feed boys on cow As to the picture of Miss Fanny Urn lady who has had vicariously for that imaginary charac lyr was of tbo sweetest and kind ost of women When I wore d U attHe jima decidedly disappointed when out tho next day I como out tho next day until you told mo that the story liau over reached this part of the country But got it it wasnt the foreman at all it waa a fool of a compositor who ruined the story Poor dovill 1 suppose he is dead now and it doesnt much matter what wo may say stupidity But ho was certainly an awful fool You ono part of it right continued tho humorist It happen ed when I was a reporter on the Vir City Enterprise I was assigned to report a by a party of somo of the most notorious hard drink ers in the town and Virginia City was not supporting many temperance peo ple at that time Everybody know that the dinner was going to resolve itself into a glorious drunk and tho result proved that everybody was Of course I didnt want to bo too hard on the boys in reporting their dinner aud yet as a truthful reporter I had to give tho public to understand just what had taken place there In a moment I conceived tho idea or convoying this a del cato way without really saying all hands wore drunk My plan wasrto begin report iu the dried giving way I grew a Tittle careless stylo Gradually i be came moro and more mixed up in my until at last the words were American Which Curl DamUr der Americans get so at King dot dov canH it no longer goes py Boston harbor und throws some tea ash four shests Dot tea all wasted Iu dor water but dor principle shust der same if der peoples tako it home und drink it I cant dey dout goes across der Dela ware river py a skiff It acold t dark night und more ice around dan you can put in refrigera tors If I Washington I wait un til some come along or builds a bridge I take nil dose any acci dent insurance on my Washington goes into camp at Val ley der winder und she Thas ao cold dot suffers like he in Chicago I doan quite see how it M 1 a und fighting for my country I go into camp iu a brick house heated by steam und I haf fried oysters und shicken potpie day of my life It looks to me as if Washing ton makes a big mistake dot It no good to freeze to death for your country Dot doan lick der British Washington gets dot Lord Cornwalls in a box at York town ho oop und down mil great dignity und gif even one yell mo I gif some whoops und yolls und shump oop und paint dot place so red as I valk oop to dot Corn wallia I say How you like it so far ash you went hey Maypo now you like to go written without any real connection wit to 1 wrote ap up in i dition I was greatly interested in I well ui u for Iho of others fuar shn you anv 1 word I over of licr ir motion of hoad a kindly lit art Sho was iho sort of H i or to instinct lias hur but will hor you occupant of Hall I Uo visits uf mon liko mid that hu havo mil if tho had found about cut out naturally as 1 could hours hard work tho report was finished I felt that 1 had written tbo very ever appeared paper The copy out and part of Jt was set up just as vl had written it hold of tho iast part and of course head or tail out of it of set ting it up as ho found it and leaving the rest to the proofreader or editor ho mado up 1 had really been drunk when 1 wrote it Ho was a kindhearted man and liked to see one of tho boys in trouble So be calmly proceeded to change my copy and put in little connecting words so as to make souse of it It was all done with the kindest inten tions in the world Ho didnt waul to seo mo discharged lor drunk Then he destroyed my copy so that it couldnt be brought in evidence of my damaging guilt wouldnt care to soy how fear fully disappointed I pick MM thai aud ed up au looked for Imv funny was as coldly a vfl wopt sending tears and On tbo stroot I met tho compositor wbo had takun such libf inv for me Ho ippy when bo told mo how homo und I haf got somo bulge on you und now you pe havo himself or I make it hotl Dat Paul a good fighter but I quite about him ho goes into a fight mit a bigger hip und gets licked ho toll no ody He keeps fighting right long und ho tolls der men all O K und by und by dot btg ship pulls down her Hag und so seek she cant tight uo more Don Mr Shones goes aboard says ho boss dot ono more victory If I licked dot settles it 1 holler dot II der odder man de biggest I fight at all Dot Commodore Porry a queer man Ho likos to so dot ho oop all night Ho goes down by Putin Bay und picks a fuss Ho haf to but dot his rhay If I going to have a fight 1 should put out my arms und Hoy boys knock der stuffing out of of last week for 1 cut vour wages down Dot Perry goes about like a lamb und he a leedle smile und all ho says Boys Hike you to whoop er oop for Und whoop und dor eagle let loose und tho bell of liberty rings out dot on top der whole Free Puss Fortunes In Soft i to looked so he boo i tho moans of keeping me out Of with the manager of the paper Unit i Uo mas I if tor wards that T do him sorry i for i discovered that for Id the story of bow ho had TURX Took It with A pair of elderly men and a ed woman in a calico dross and a bon net fashionable before the war ap in a lawyers office uptown one day last week says One of the men said that they want ed a deed made out and then ho turned to his companion and they dis cussed the details of the trade they were about to make The little woman tried to say something once or twice but her husband silenced her with I now me an he kin settle this ourselves It hant a womans place to take a hand in a matter o this kind Shes got other fish to fry Im doin this tradin myself You set still till yer wanted thus admonished set she seemed a little loss limp and a trifle more spirited her heavy eyes brightened a good deal when her husband said Now were ready for yer along hyar scratch yer name out in full on this blank line Thats all we want of you H was simply refreshing to seo the color come to wan cheeks and to note tho firmness of her voice as she said I it Cy You shant do what I shant sign myname to deed Why good lawd woman that sail I brung you along for i I know it Cy aud I ant goin to What in thunder do you mean gasped out Cy as he stared at Loo cindy with his eyes like saucers and mouth wide open I mean just what I say Cy Jack son Oh you neednt staro so at mo Cy Its my time to take a hand in this trade Cy au Im goin to do it It ant often I git a chance to show Im of any consequence in this world but now Ill learn you that I am here Im if to stand this What ails you to go to cuttin up like this Now you put your name to that deed done with your foolin ant foolin Cy she replied calmly as sho took the pen he handed hor and put it back on the and then pulled her faded old shawl up around her gaunt shoulders Lookee hero Cy said at last tho way I look at it that lands mine much as its yours Ive dug an nig gored you have aif Im blamed if I ant goin to have some aavso it Now Ill tell you what Ill do me havo Um money Higgina is goin to pay you for the land here in my own fist au Ill sign the paper You must bo crazy 1 want you to million of t make mo sign without she said calmly as sho dropped into a chair An on Train Took the out of it so years ho t saved mo newspaper sippi river so think T r i r in uro anil lout thu next tinio iv yf In my youth I it was book killed tho tho iir who thu family hud stood by in her nud And und If that vvua HO it would bo to of union periodically the of life by Paul of bis invaded by along tho broad roud that loads from to Greta Tho you quote says Funny is diiiul If J am in the where she lies i hope to lay u upon the tomb of the patient injured doad The WAS Not Made A man who gets tho reputation as afterdinner speaker ia usually ono has power to tell a story well U nmv not always bo a very now etory or n very witty one hut if it is well told It ia almost certain to bo success ful at a dinner party Ono thing is fatal in such an Sometimes however a is won in not tolling a story when it is ex iu Wous disgrace in liaU of the of the lle zin old man and io must by doad by this limn H 11 jc C1 is lol if i1 TJio Hero ia Away up lies resort society po breeds of tudo bred WUH a that Gon s saya tho Post in the Georgia mountains ii Springs a favorite sum of Savannah and Atlanta plo Among the pines and tho hills tbo fever and irom tbo malarial inr of tho Ia there any money mado out of Well you Imd better be lieve is Tho says tho Now York Mail anil Express a who to tho fizzing soda the Reductive and health ful mineral water tho and other carbonated Wea with which tha irl will during the com ing fow There is any of money iu tho manufacture of theao mild bojor agos tho knowing ouo Here aro official as to tho coat of somo of thorn no from hls pocket I One glass of plain costs 110 or Well you Ono day G como up low coum ry disappear like on Young saw an old follow itli a basket of u tbo poo old of chickens for 1 his command ho call out Jack how aro Why Taws a massy general how I hant seo yo tho wan They chatted for a few voi eomo up hero often Jake J PI want my every rest my qj cs at some o arent they iro uio Prr wl I or to wiu tokt M nd coming af PEERLESS j in lot crook or ioB THE TRIBUNE One Dollar p r In advance F H City at the night of a Boston club It was 11 literary club and he was a literary man HO it expected very naturally that ho would his profession and that of hia hearers Instead of doing so ho rose gravely and with a serious glance at the fruits of the desserts on tho table before him began Ladles and gentleman he repeated I come hero to talk All oyes wore turned toward him and repeated como not hero to talk People began Io laugh seeing that brevity waa really iho soul of hU wit I come not hero to talk said he I como not to Thou with another at tho fruit aul a modest of deprecation I como not hero to talkt And ho sat down while Coir took the da chickens Tho folks I like to als They JakoP Deed Now throe voui been toll mo which of those throe yoni Aw for mo to hey air Jake Gen Young hand toward a group of with whom ho had One glass soda water with sirup 1J cents One glass mineral water 1 cont Ooo glass rootbeer 1 cent glass ginger alo cents That is a good many young men when they soo those figures may swear off buying soda and similar drinks at fancy prices But they wont keep their vows When tlm time comes and when the best girl smiles n gentle and get in her tine work you will stop right up to the rack regardless of the cost just as you have often done be fore will boa poor stick if That Is why the purveyors of drinks smile Just at season of tho year Sho Wrota of the Indian little colored In attendance at one apolis ward schools is a girl nine years old She indeed for Wie and the shoes she wears the if I what like this I moan that I am goin to havo a dollar or two in tho bmk I kin call my own dtuKs Hand over money Cy an Ill sign and Ill never sign without it Hull nn hour later Cy and left tho Cy with look on his face and with a serenely on aho away with a roll of bills clutched tightly and a new dress mid a und n liank of her own before her eyes Hot time hud Band Hill will toll you something I out in New the German traveler 1 was out in tho west and I saw thousands of sandhill cranes flying toward tho place whore I had slopped They camo in flocks from tho east tho west the north nnd Mouth anil very groat company of thousands hail almost ob light of thu sun They re mained several nnd I looked on ia wonder to sou what would do ami presently I SIW r about a spring covering tho ground for around Their manner was solemn as if they had assembled for deliberation on no mo weighty matter When they wore all in place anU was still I heard a and flapping and looking up saw that Ono of the cranes had risen from the midst of tho vast and was peculiar noise accompanied by and all sorts of with his with his legs and wings as If ho worn making a speech awhile he stopped a moment and 1 heard a great racket the cranes down on tho ground ns if they were one who was up in the Finally the one who was muting a stopped and ladies is the prettiest Toln in her found vent in a composition The or look a dav and told the of the flower Two dayi after iho tod them to write having the pansy talk and tell and this according to the and out the best walk right up looking After much solicitation Jake under Hu walked up and peered at the laughing girls About 100 guests had gathered by this time to nee the trial Finally Jake turned scratching his head of the young ladles Wore br around tl Young al c Tho yc to tUo fri 11 three oir waists it is hard to make a c still I to say thi the bellyband the trim There white d reason young If no but the one a lee tie a and with flutter of three blushing various colored sashes das lied into of light the the only witha am only a Pansy a little brown house camo down Then all rose in a body if a rising vote and when they came down another crane in the middle of tho crowd shot up and fell to the ground Aa he came all jumped on him ami A gentleman to whom the editor was recently introduced Mr X by name mado himself entertaining by repeating this stoiy of an adventure he had on a New York train He is a a prominent steel firm here and ono of the salesman taken ill at a time when the house was anx to secure a particular order Mr Y started out himself with a case of samples in true commercial traveling style As he got into the train the mao informed him that there was an excursion that day it was doubt ful if lio could get a seat Mr X wont on aud found the cars literally packed go that even the aisles were full He noticed however that in one seat sat an Englishman who had piled up his luggage to occupy the vacant place asked Mr X when with some difficulty he made his way to the man The Englishman looked up with true British insolence yc see that it is he re Mr X replied by coolly sweeping all the foreigners belonging on the floor and possessing himself of the made vacant He took a book from his pocket and began to read while his stared out of tho window apparently not iu tho best of humor volume chanced to Pickwick Papers and as he read Mr X from limo to time chuckled ap at what he read Well now what aro ye laughing at the suddenly de manded turning to tho other What are papers replied his companion regarding the question as an overture of peace Hump responded the English man Dickons He was a fool ye know Ho had the misfortune to be aa Englishman was Mr Xs conciliatory I v Now what is asked tho for eigner the chestnut case in the others lap That is my caso Of sample repeated his com with the utmost contempt Then you are nothing but a bag What is a Whv yei arts yo know if ye sells things by samples Id have you to plied Mr X affecting a good deal of tho air for the occasion 1 am a commercial traveler and moro than that I am an American and that makes it a good deal of conde scension on my part to sit inthe same oar with the slave of an English aris He nourished a bit in this style and Wound up by saying The meanest citizen of this free country is above an Englishman bej cause we aro all free and equal here At this moment the train drew into a station aud among who en tered tho car was an enormous colored woman with a bundle arms which corresponded in dimensions to her own portliness Mr X recog bis opportunity Ho rose in his place and beckoned to the old woman who swept hur way through the crowd with ponderous swaying and lurch in cs Aunty ho said Here n a seat and pleasant company Bless honey chuckled the gigantic old woman Iso a good dual sot on company any time Set over dar sho continued address ing the Englishman Dar aint no ca Biou to look at mo dat yep way Set Aud she sat down with a pervading noss which nearly annihilated the un fortunate Uritisherwho gasped strug gled and iu the end was forced to abandon hia position altogether Only Her Sixth man is too busy to come him self so please give me a marriage cer said a damo of not more than 82 men aim into Clerk ono dny last week tho Philadelphia clerk He a pile looking nl the calendar remarked i only the m male A I am replied clerk i Yea you are Ive only had ami is the sixth said the woman to the clerks surprise Oh 1 meant the day of month laughingly replied the cleric one darling sand Ill try aud raise woman He s a clerX in a dry and ho never sits Joar ho will crease pantaloons and make them bag at Bnt Ill give him n awful hard luck with men as I get them fixed I them Bach ft He died the fo the five My home Is U now going to opon my about want to look out of and ung man his way ut is now ia tho penitentiary window at last I got there aud opon iny oh what KU tno dross that inow ami i Ml ni children bright monml iho W ho pretty emeu wind f i j Theb they rose in a body and left the for good Only the crane in middle remained and when I up to look at him ue was stone dead were holding court said party in concert aa the German COD i Yes the Mid German crane an trial life and the one who tande the Was the charging the lunta j i thei Train With had i yards of wrapped around him No a was i very nice man He worked in Du won Vi factory Jast my luck not of MB to No waa also a nice man fol lowed the sea and they tell a Whale f He was a hook Ob Ono of the easiest weight u to wear ways to a and on a briak the trota roughly bounces and ao can lost by thla of ia made b six uf lower part of the should bo loft Tht The map too he 1 by tho hour tod listen a divorce lb in to o him H Illinois ana a He got to ani sUld out to WM to t a knows they need of it don l 1 M i No f is r such a nice fallow hi w ip the store and when No J cart at on box in If the hi pretty Ui of A sawmill Napoleon That is what he is Apparently his does not rise above the common levol of pine logs rosin and tur pentine but for all that he is a born eader of men A young fellow whose home is in Atlanta but who is now keeping books or a lumber man down in Dodro county camo to town the other day and told ono of the of the anta Constitution a very interesting tory This lumber king has one of tho dark corners of to himself io employs a large number of hands whites and 250 blacks These men with their families all live on heir employers domain in comforta ble cabins and cottages which they without paying any rent struck the dromio that such a community would naturally present many significant phases of the race and asked the young Bookkeeper about it Oh thats all right ho replied The blacks kill each other occasion ally but they let the whites alone You see the cottages occupied by tho white families are all bunched er and an alarm from one would bo iu all the others Every white man has a Winchester riile and a re volver while the blacks aro entirely unarmed How do you keep pistols out of lands of the negroes The boss attends to that When ho finds a negro with a pistol he just down and takes the weapon away from him and throws it nto the millrace I tell you that man wont stand any nonsense When iis men do their work and behave he is as mild as milk but when anything goes wrong hes a sight worse than your little eruption of Vesuvius out here at the Fall of this policy works well You bet it does And it is the only policy If we tried any other plan hose desperate negroes would butcher us in our beds somo night You ough t to see the boss when a big nigger for himself and talks sassy Ha say a word but just takes up a scantling a rock or a bar of iron and knocks the fellow down without aring whether it kills or only crip ples him The old hands know what to ex and they walk chalk line It is only the new ones that get into trouble The men hare to obey the rules When they dont they have to go Once when there was an election in Eastman the boss notified the hands hat they might go at 3 oclock with out having their wages docked but that if a man left before that hour would be discharged Well it turned out that twenty of the hands knocked off at 12 oclock and went to town They had a good time but when they returned at dark they found their household goods all thrown out in the road Before they got over their sur prise the boss came along and ordered hem to take their things off the prem ses at once Some of them were until midnight hauling off stuff think it was hard Wait a bit When the prohibition election was about to be hold tho boss called a of tho hands On a table in front of him he had a pile of blue ribbons Ho looked at the crowd a moment in dead silence Then he began to talk in his usual calm cold way as if he had no interest in the matter He said that in every mans life the time came when he had to find out who were his friends and who were his enemies Ho did not discuss prohibition He merely said that he was determined to have no liquor in his camp and was for any measure right or wrong that would keep it put Now he concluded in a clear ring ng voice my friends will come up and these blue ribbons My ene mies will take the red ones Well sir every man marched up and took a blue ribbon Tho boss smiled and asked if that meant a unanimous vote for prohibition ino niggers all told him that it did and voted solidly that way Your boss ns you call him doubt ess belongs to tho old school of south probably owned a large number or slaves before the warP The bookkeeper laughed ho answered he is a Yankee rom Maine Ho Is a small slender man aboot 40 weighs 125 pounds and has quiet that look ight through you I have seen a gang if the worst desperadoes in the camp scatter when they saw him coming The most reckless outlaws in Dodge are n much afraid of him as they are of the devill And you like him You bet I do ft Common Nome One of the most prominent citizens of Hartford is Dennis iho SPC of an insurance company Ho but is ono who expects H good deal of considera tion aud it Not long ago the company made a number of loans through a Colorado broker named Heury Interest aud principal failed to materialise Dennis went to The solo occupant of a young man back iu a chair with his oa tho windowsill His Inquiries wan extremely unsatisfactory and became an gry emphasis namo is Dimnis everybody namo here for a week said tho languid young niao never jn the affirmative they always aay Fortse of The little W had obliged io give up Sho hud away from her nnU a liver it order he gravely Out of order she A iii Siny i l loan your for of ihn woak
